Of all the obnoxious responses to my post last night on #Brexit, the most puzzling one came from former Honey Badger Brigader Rachel Edwards:
https://twitter.com/naughty_nerdess/status/746215478138306560
My first reaction? DonDraperSaysWhat.gif.
I asked my Twitter followers if they had any idea what she was talking about. It turns out she was referring to a recent blog post by our dear old friend Scott “Yeah, the guy who does Dilbert” Adams in which Mr. Adams suggested that v-neck sweaters are “the uniform of a man who is owned by a woman.”
So Ms. Edwards was evidently trying to suggest that I’m so totally owned by women that I not only wear v-neck sweaters but … I really really like it. Which would be a rather weird insult even if I did own any v-neck sweaters. I mean, I’m not going to lie, I have owned v-neck sweaters before, but I’m pretty sure I got rid of them all in my last big clothes purge after realizing I hadn’t worn any of them in maybe 15 years.
But enough about my sweater preferences. The big question is: why on earth does Scott Adams think that v-neck sweaters are some kind of dire threat to American masculinity?
Let’s take a look at Adams’ blog post on the subject yesterday, titled (and I’m not making this up) “The Humiliation of the American Male in 2016.”
Perhaps the biggest unreported story of this presidential election is the humiliation of the American male. Unless I’m blinded by confirmation bias – which is entirely possible – it seems to me that the humiliation of American men is now institutionalized in the media.
His evidence? A TV commercial in which a henpecked husband gets sent back to the store after buying the wrong brand of dishwasher detergent.
[T]ake careful note of the American man’s v-neck sweater,” Adams writes. “That’s the uniform of a man who is owned by a woman.”
Adams continues:
You’re laughing because you know it’s true.
Wrong on both counts.
How many of the married men reading this blog have received those same sweaters as “gifts” from women? Personally, I’ve received about 25 over the years. None from men.
25 sweaters? Twenty. Five. Why … are women giving Scott Adams so many goddamn sweaters? Who are these women?
I received three of those sweaters so far this year. I throw them away. Nice try.
Note to self: Never buy anything for Scott Adams, ever.
Many of you can’t talk about this topic without being accused of sexism, losing your jobs, and being cast out of your social groups.
First they came for the sweater-talker-abouters …
But I can talk about it because I endorse Hillary Clinton for president. I did that for my personal safety, because I live in California, but still, I’m on the progressive side now. That gives me some extra freedom of speech.
This is a reference to Adams’ hi-larious fake endorsement for Hillary Clinton that was really an endorsement for Trump — who Adams thinks will win the election in a landslide by rallying a silent majority of men who are too afraid to talk about sweaters publicly.
The dishwasher soap commercial should give you a hint of how big that turnout might be. You might not notice the size of the coming tsunami because American men generally don’t voice their humiliation in public. …
But in the privacy of the polling booth, the men who don’t talk are free to act.
Take that, mean imaginary ladies who force men in v-neck sweaters to go back to the store to buy the correct soap!
You can criticize Donald Trump on many dimensions. You can say he’s not really a great businessman. You can say he’s offensive. You can say he lies. You can hate his position on issues. You can say he has insufficient policy details. And lots more. But I think we all agree that Melania never asks Donald to go back to the store because he’s too dumb to buy the right kind of soap on the first try.
I predict you will see the largest male turnout of any presidential election in American history.
I’m not so sure, Scott. I can think of one thing that might derail the Trump Train: Photographic evidence of Donald Trump wearing the V-Neck Sweater of Male Humiliation.
But surely there can’t be such … oh, wait a minute. Literally 30 seconds of Googling produces this:
Congratulations, Hillary, on your impending landslide victory!
V-Neck sweaters? Ok it’s official the Men’s Rights movement has jumped the shark.
So, he doesn’t consider just taking the sweaters to Goodwill? Or are these sweaters just so awful they need to be destroyed?
Maybe he thinks the “v” stands for “vagina” or something.
@Huggbees
It jumped the shark so long ago, it was a Megaladon.
Semi-OT: The other day this guy was telling me how Trump was going to win the election in a landslide. The only state, he claimed, that Clinton would win was Hawaii. After a minute of laughter, I asked him how he came to this conclusion. The answer…
Men were going to turnout and vote in record numbers.
When is that Martian colony supposed to be ready?
“the uniform of a man who is owned by a woman.”
My internet sources suggest a uniform of a different sort.
Justice for Dagwood Bumstead!
Interesting. I guess I’m not a woman because the only sweater I’ve ever given to my partner had the style of a T-shirt neck, whatever that’s called.
@RosieLa I think that’s called crewneck. Anyone with more style nous here?
Thanks for this post, David. I really needed a laugh.
I thought in the US sweaters were a sort of woollen dress thingy?
(Sure that came up when we were having our regular ‘tank top’ definition discussion)
Ten bucks says the woman in question was his mum.
(Source: The number of old Dilbert comics that specifically complain about his mum giving him sweaters.)
I think he has it a bit wrong. I think the reason people aren’t talking about this is not that they’re scared of losing their jobs, but that it is…WTF material. Most people don’t want to look idiotic (MRAs seem to have no worries about that). Someone spouting this where I work would be laughed out of the building, maybe even the state, and I live in a state that is run by red-state conservative males (and a handful of red-state, conservative, anti-woman females).
And if that commercial is anything, it’s sexist. The fact that the woman spends all her time worrying about the brand of laundry soap, and the man can’t get it right? Just perpetuating stereotypes, and the bigger issue is that men are portrayed ignorant and women are portrayed as trivial. This doesn’t fit any household that I’ve ever been part of, where men are perfectly capable of picking out a laundry detergent, and women don’t care that much which brand as long as it isn’t so expensive it requires mortgaging the house to buy it. (My husband cares deeply about brand of laundry soap, dish soap, etc. I’m mostly meh. Couple of brands I avoid for allergic reasons, but otherwise? Knock yourself out. I don’t care).
Wait, so as a man I’m supposed to turn out for Trump because he really knows how to keep his woman in line? This election is supposed to be all about Respecting the Cock and Taming the Cunt? Now who’s the emotional low-information voter?
Huh. This is a sentence that has been written.
How do “we all agree”? How can people agree on something they’ve never even thought about? Is Scott Adams only writing to people who ponder the negotiations of kitchen soap purchases in the Trump household?
And I’ve also gotten several unasked-for sweaters from my mom and neighbours over the years, but some of those sweaters are turtlenecks and I’m a woman. What does that prove, Mr. Adams? Please enlighten us with your wisdom.
Iknklast,
That’s just what I was going to say. Commercials like that just reinforce the idea that housework is the domain of women. How are men oppressed by women doing shit work for no pay?
Seriously, this is like if I based my whole worldview around my grandma giving me too many nightgowns she found in a box.
@epitome of incomprehensibility
Ah, the female turtleneck: the yoke of the patriarchy.
I get socks every year. No idea how to decode that.
Note to self: Never knit a sweater for an MRA.
Well, that’s easy enough. Fellow knitters, are we going to have to redefine “sweater curse” now?
…says the guy who wears a button down shirt tucked into his pants.
BeckyHop,
Suddenly I have an almost uncontrollable urge to knit a vagina-necked sweater. The best thing is, what I’m picturing would actually look pretty awesome. Vaguely suggestive of lapels and a cravat.
…and, HRMF. I googled “vagina neck sweater,” and found this. Apparently someone already thought of that as a description of the cowl neck.
@pitshade.
Socks mean you are a slut, because you hang so many on doorknobs.
Source: stuff I made up that no one has ever thought about.
P.S. New socks are the best things ever. I love getting socks.
Imaginary Petal: Um, since when were they not supposed to be?
(Which is why I dress pretty conservatively. Too much trauma from unwritten rules and shaming and cliquish bullshit from school. Being complemented on my clothing makes me nervous and jumpy because I expect it to be backhanded.)
From Amy Shumer’s “Trainwreck” trailer (:38):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eq62JuFI04
I like Tom’s sweater. Does he teach computer in a church basement? … You dress him like that so nobody else wants to have sex with him? That’s cool.
I’ve always been specifically required to tuck button-down shirts into my pants whenever I am obligated to wear them.
@leftwingfox
Hah. :p
To me it’s just the ultimate symbol of “I’m only doing this because someone said I was supposed to”. I find it incredibly uncomfortable and ugly. If you have any form of belly it’s unflattering as fuck, and if you’re slim it makes your pants look like a giant snake in the process of eating you.
If someone likes to wear a shirt that way, I (of course) don’t care. Mostly I’m just baffled by the idea that this has become “the proper way” of wearing a button down when it’s so obviously hideous to me.
EDIT: My point confirmed by guy. :p