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antifeminism body shaming creepy empathy deficit entitled babies memes misogyny MRA

Memeday Update: The Creepiest, Cringiest “Selfish Feminist” Meme Ever

Lucy thinks you're disgusting
Lucy is not impressed with your meme

Yesterday, we took a look at some completely ridiculous “Selfish Feminist” memes, based on the premise that women adopt feminism because that way they can reap all sorts of nifty benefits without having to work as hard as men, most notably the FREE DINNERS they constantly con poor schmucks into paying for. (Allegedly.)

For some reason, half of the memes involved actress/activist Ashley Judd, who isn’t really a selfish person at all.

You may recall that one of the memes was captioned “Why I need feminism? Sounds better than ‘selfishness.'”

Well, here’s another one using that little tagline that somehow manages to be creepier and cringier than all the rest of the “selfish feminist” memes all together.

Wait, what?
Wait, what?

Yep. In the mind of whoever made this meme, women not shaving their armpits is somehow a … selfish act, presumably because “ew, women with hairy armpits.”

Note to dudes who think this meme is somehow clever: What someone chooses to do (or not do) with their body is really only your business if you happen to own that body. Given that, you know, slavery is illegal and all that, the only body you own is your own body.

Women don’t owe it to men in general (or to you in particular) to shave their armpits or any other part of their body, pluck their eyebrows, keep their weight within the parameters you prefer, and so on and so on.

No, dudes, you are not obliged to find women with armpit hair attractive. The flip side of this is that women aren’t obliged to give a rat’s ass what you think of their armpits, or any other part of their body.

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Youthful Indescretion
Youthful Indescretion
5 years ago

@Kale I think there may be more than a small hint of projection when people constantly assume selfish motives in others. Oh, and keep up the fight!

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

I can’t say I’m surprised that JB insists that she respects her husband so he won’t hit her. Sadly, it’s not just the MRA contingent who use “respect” as a synonym for “fear.”

I respect my husband because I know he’ll never hit me. Twenty years and counting.

Chiomara
Chiomara
5 years ago

I don’t know exactly why I am telling this, but my house was in a fire 12 hours ago. We were inside. My parents are very hurt and in the ICU. I thought they wouldnt make it out. It was hell inside. I guess I am still in shock. Why do bad things keep happening to us?
Pray for them if you are religious, please. They would appreciate this.

Hambeast, Social Justice Legbeard
Hambeast, Social Justice Legbeard
5 years ago

Oh Chiomara! I’m so sorry. I hope things get better soon and your parents recover fully. I know I don’t comment very much, but I always enjoy your comments; you seem like a really good person who doesn’t deserve this kind of trauma.

All my good thoughts going out to you. Please keep us posted!

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

@Chiomara
I’m glad you’re okay and I hope your parents recover quickly. Hugs if you want them.

Dodom
Dodom
5 years ago

She might actually be insulting her husband without knowing there, and writing him into her fantasy of men being righteously violent beasts that only her deference and perfection can keep from lashing out.

Abuse is not conditional. If someone thinks they should hit a spouse or a child over disrespect, they learn to see disrespect in the smallest things, in a gaze, in a word choice, in a posture, in a creak of the floor… everywhere. They’ll always have an excuse to hit anytime they want.

littleknown
littleknown
5 years ago

@Chiomara
One thing is for sure: it’s not because you deserve them. Sending all the good thoughts, and I hope your parents recover quickly. Our hearts are with you.

katz
5 years ago

@Chiomara

Oh my god, I’m so sorry. That’s really awful.

makroth
makroth
5 years ago

This meme is pure projection. And it’s telling. Selfishness is a key part of the manureosphere.

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

MRA definition of selfishness: a woman thinking of herself instead of him.

MRA definition of self-reliance: a man thinking of himself instead of her.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ chiomara

Words always seem so inadequate at times like this, but for what it’s worth I’m willing best wishes for you and your family.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

@Chiomara

I hope you and your family have a swift and uneventful recovery from such a horrible experience.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

@Dodom

There becomes no facial expression that will be the *right* one to have because the abuser has decided that *any* is a problem, and yet they don’t let their target not be there. Because who would they have available to hit if their target was allowed to leave? I am unfortunately quite familiar with such things, but my history gives me a unique position of understanding while helping others through my job.

@Chiomara

I’m lousy with words in these sorts of moments, so I shall pray for you and your family. 🙂

Youthful Indescretion
Youthful Indescretion
5 years ago

@Chiomara I’m so sorry. I wish you and your family a speedy recovery.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

@Chiomara – That’s awful. I am so sorry that happened to you. Sending warm thoughts and best wishes for a quick recovery for you and your family.

Dodom
Dodom
5 years ago

I left the tab open too long while typing my message and missed Chiomara’s in the process. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ignore you. That’s terrible to hear I hope you and your family will be ok. 🙁

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
5 years ago

@Chiomara

Best of wishes to you, and a quick recovery for you and your family.

Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
5 years ago

So sorry, Chiomara! Wishing a speedy recovery.

Maybe the universe is using up all its bad stuff on you at once, and it’ll be nothing but good from here on? We can hope.

Dalillama
5 years ago

@Chiomara
Internet hugs if desired, and all the best wishes.

RosieLa
RosieLa
5 years ago

So… if I keep on with not shaving my pits (or anywhere, really) I can repel MRAs and not need to deal with them? Sweet deal! Yet another reason to never shave anything ever again, with notable exception for tattoos.

I’m so glad to know that when the MRAs crash all my SA protests I just need to wear a tank top and thrust my fists in the air and watch them all cower in fear at my hirsute pits!

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

My very best wishes to you and your parents, and all the internet hugs in the world, Chiomara.

bluecat
bluecat
5 years ago

All the best to you Chiomara, and a safe recovery for your parents. That must have been terrifying.

Seconded what Littleknown says, too.

KindaSortaHarmless
KindaSortaHarmless
5 years ago

@Chiomara

I’m very sorry that happened to you. It is very fortunate that you and your parents got out. Wishing you and them a swift recovery; may their time in the ICU be short and uneventful.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
5 years ago

@Chiomara, I’m so sorry. Bloody hell, you must all of you be in shock – what an appalling thing to happen. I know I’m only a distant internet stranger, but I so hope your parents and you are all right. Sending you and your parents every good wish.

CMH
CMH
5 years ago

@Chiomara

I’ll chime in with the well-wishing and thanks that you seem to have gotten out OK. My most positive thoughts to your parents for their recovery.

@pitshade

The description you give of his beliefs raises red flags in my mind but you know him and I don’t so take that for what it’s worth.

I guess that shows how easy it is to ignore problematic behavior in somebody you know, if it’s subtle. I wouldn’t say I’ve seen red flags with him…but a couple of pink flags have popped up recently.

Chiomara
Chiomara
5 years ago

Yes they were…behind a wall of fire. I am voiceless because I could only scream. Oh, god. I’d prefer anything done to me instead of having them there. I don’t know if a human being can feel a bigger pain or hear sounds more horrible.
They literally crossed through the fire. It was so brave. I am so proud.
Jesus. I didn’t know I could scream that loud.
Please, have a fire extinguisher, however that’s spelled, at your house. Please gave a escape plan ready and please be careful with electricity.
Thank you for the simpathy.
We will be fine. I will keep you informed. I am so sorry for bringing such randomness and negative things. I turned on my phone and this website was there and I could only wait so I typed.
I am sorry for doing this all the time here. I swear it’s not for attention. I just think you are kind people. I don’t know. Thank you guys.

It’s the international family day.

If there’s a god above, thank you god.
Pray.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

My heart and prayers go out to you and your family, Chiomara. I pray for their speedy (and complete) recovery.

Kat | May 15, 2016 at 1:04 am
Women should be naturally beautiful.

Anything else is misandry.

Checkmate, feminists!

“Women should be naturally beautiful!” Says the man pointing at the woman wearing primer, foundation, blush, winged eyeliner, contour, and eyebrow pencil.

http://stealyourbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Natural-Makeup-12.jpg

“Look how beautiful she looks without makeup!” He crows to the internet. “She’s nothing like those devious snakes who cake it on just to fool me into thinking they’ve got green eyelids! She’s naturally beautiful!”

As for JB and her “I don’t act out because my husband should hit me if I do!”, I only have one word for that:

comment image

Fun story time: When Grandma Intention first married Grandpa Intention many years ago, she straight up told him that if he ever hit her, she wouldn’t be able to fight back. She was weaker and smaller than he was, and the both of them knew it (Grandpa Intention was in the Navy and did lots of construction-work style jobs).

However, she told him that if he ever did lay hands on her, he better not go to sleep around her, because she’d make him regret it.

And the whole time they were married, up until the day Grandpa Intention died (gods rest his soul), he never laid hands on Grandma Intention.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

@Chiomara

Best wishes for you and your parents, and many many hugs. You’re a sweet person. Never worry about coming here for support – it’s what we’re for.

Myoo
Myoo
5 years ago

@Chiomara

That’s terrible! I hope everything turns out well for you and your family.

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

@Chiomara
I don’t know if you and/or your parents need any financial help recovering from the fire, but if you do please post a link. I know I would be glad to chip in and I’m sure others would as well.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

A little late, but adding to the hugs Chiomara. Please don’t think you need to be apologetic about discussing personal problems here. A lot of us do it.

Myriad
Myriad
5 years ago

@Chiomara

I’m so sorry you and your parents had to go through that. You are welcome to as many Internet hugs if you want them. I hope your parents have a speedy recovery and you are okay. Seconding what Imaginary Petal and Kupo said.

Axecalibur
Axecalibur
5 years ago

So sorry, Chio 🙏

Banananana dakry
Banananana dakry
5 years ago

My thoughts with you, Chiomara. That’s terrifying.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
5 years ago

@ Chiomara

No need to apologize. Best wishes to you and your family and speedy healing.

MissEB47
MissEB47
5 years ago

Chiomara-I am so sorry you and your family had gone through this. That must have been terrifying! I am so glad you and your parents made it out alive. You and your parents are so brave and courageous! Lots of hugs to you and your parents ((((((Chiomara and family))))))

RobinG
RobinG
5 years ago

I am so sorry Chiomara; that sounds like my worst nightmare. I am only just joining this community, but it’s clearly a warm place. Don’t feel bad.

Tovius
Tovius
5 years ago

@Chiomara
God, that sounds terrifying. I hope your parents recover soon.

Kootiepatra
5 years ago

@Chiomara- You have absolutely no need to apologize. I’m praying for you and your parents.

@Paradoxical Intention:

“Look how beautiful she looks without makeup!” He crows to the internet. “She’s nothing like those devious snakes who cake it on just to fool me into thinking they’ve got green eyelids! She’s naturally beautiful!”

There was a post on imgur not too long ago that did exactly this. Some dudebro had posted a bunch of images of celebrities “without makeup”, gushing about how this was real beauty, and blah blah blah… and yup, all but two of them were obviously wearing makeup.

A bunch of commenters called this out, even identifying exactly what sorts of products each woman was wearing. The OP blustered a bit about how, “Well, but this isn’t OVERLY made up, so it’s more natural, so it looks like they aren’t wearing makeup.” Even though he had just been informed about how it was obvious makeup was involved.

But apparently “natural” means light makeup + professional photo shoot. Anything else is lazy or selfish or both.

Mike Hisandry
Mike Hisandry
5 years ago

@Chiomara

Oh, my god. How horrible. I also lived a nightmare regarding my parents recently – I know some of how you feel.

Talk. Keep talking. Go for short walks when you can. Breathe. Keep breathing. Love your parents and yourself as hard as you can, above anything.

mrex
mrex
5 years ago

@WWTH

“I’m going to go with none! Excepting self defense, there’s no such thing as making someone hit them. Hitting someone is a choice you, and you alone make.”

Right. And I’m going to go even further than you; even self-defense is a choice that a man makes. He could always choose to turn the other cheek, beg for mercy, accept his fate, or whatnot. I’m not saying that it’s wrong for a man to defend himself, just that there’s literally no situation where a man is forced to defend himself. It’s always a choice, reasonable or not.

Here’s where toxic masculinity really starts to hurt men. Because women are so “weak”, short of threatening a man with a weapon, there is no ” reasonable ” self defense for a man. I’m always amazed when I speak to men I know and I find that many (most) of them have been smacked (or worse) by a girl/woman at one point or another. Fuck that, and fuck any woman who thinks that it’s ok to hurt men. *NONE* of these men were physically violent or threatening.

Most of all, fuck MRAs like JB who use the above injustice to push the abuser’s lobby, harming everyone in the process.

/rant

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

@Chiomara
My best wishes and hopes that everything turns out for the best.

mrex
mrex
5 years ago

@chio

If anyone’s justified in dumping here it’s you. Wall of fire? Holy shit.

Here’s wishing the best.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
5 years ago

Oh my heavens, Chiomara.

Best wishes from this side of the world. And for your parents. So brave. We’ll be thinking of all three of you.

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
5 years ago

Chiomara-
Don’t feel bad for turning to a community for emotional support at a trying time. 🙂

I hope your folks get better. Severe burns can be a hell of a lot to recover from.

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
5 years ago

My goodness, @Chiomara. I am not religious, but I will pray for their speedy and whole recovery for you. That’s horrible. I’m so glad they made it out.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
5 years ago

Re: beautiful but not aware of it.

The first time I heard One Direction’s song ‘You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful’, I thought ‘vapid boy band song’.

The second time I heard it, I thought, ‘Wow, that’s actually somewhat stalker-ish, isn’t it?’

@Chiomara:
Ack. That sort of thing is everybody’s nightmare. Yes, I will send good wishes to you and your family. And yes, I have a fire extinguisher at home, though I should probably check it out because I’m not sure of its current status. (I also have the smoke detector wired into the alarm system with an outside monitoring company, so the fire department can get called automatically. Though I really need to look into expanding on that, as Ontario now mandates Carbon Monoxide alarms and I don’t have one of those yet.)

Boogerghost
Boogerghost
5 years ago

I see this is from our iced-menses-pop-decrying old friends the Anti White Knight Coalition. Does that mean any man who claims not to have a problem with lady armpit hair is suppressing his natural MANLY inclinations? His need for his erotic object choice to be as not-like-a-man as possible within the bounds of sentient Earth life? Do real manly men get hard for sea pigs and blobfish?

Those pitiful White Knights and their worshipful obedience to belchy, hairy, slimy, fishy human females.

@Jenora Feuer Yeah, what bugs me about that song is how conditional the “beautiful” is on self-denying humility. Like, everyone else in the room can see it, and why can’t you see it, but if you did see it you’d suddenly be vapid and vain and not at all like these totally AVERAGE and down-to-earth PROFESSIONAL MODELS in our video. Oh, look how progressive they are, some of the models have freckles.