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Memeday: The (Allegedly) Selfish Feminist, starring Ashley Judd

memefemself

In today’s slightly delayed Memeday post, we’re going to be looking at the “selfish feminist” meme, a variation of the good old “hypocritical feminist” meme that’s based on the notion that selfish, spoiled women adopt feminism in order to score equal pay without equal work — and in the greatest crime against humanity ever known — without ever having to pay for dinner.

spoiledfemale

dayoff
Apparently you (cis) gals get a day off every month to tend to your bleeding whatevers?

Once in a long while, the mememaker will throw in a literary reference, like this one namechecking the heroine from Ibsen’s A Doll’s House.

norameme

But mostly the dudes making these memes seem to be peeved that (allegedly) feminist women are (allegedly) making them pay for dinner without “putting out” afterwards.

dinner2

dinner3

din er4

For some reason, the makers of these “selfish feminist” memes often put their words into the mouths of real and recognizable women who would never actually say such a thing.

Sometimes they use pictures of favorite feminist targets like Anita Sarkeesian …

dinnersark

… and Rebecca Watson:

watson

Other times they use feminist celebrities, like comedian Janeane Garofolo

janeane

And actress/activist Ashley Judd:

ash1

Actually, they seem just a teensy bit obsessed with Ashley Judd and her alleged refusal to ever pay for dinner:

ash2

ash4

ash5

Apparently, the deviously feminist Ashley Judd also manages to avoid paying for her fancy purses as well.

ashpurse

Yeah, Ashley Judd has a net worth of $22 million, at least according to Celebrity Net Worth. I’m pretty sure she pays for her own handbags.

Not only that, but the allegedly selfish Judd — and yes, at least some of the angry mememakers know that the woman in the meme is Ashley Judd and not just some random angry lady feminist — now devotes much of her life not to acquiring handbags but to humanitarian work. Here’s how Wikipedia sums it up:

Ashley Judd’s humanitarian work has revolved around AIDS. Judd has travelled with YouthAIDSto places affected by illness and poverty such as Cambodia, Kenya, Rwanda, and many others.

Inspired by her travels, which allowed her to witness the life of the poor and uneducated, she has since become an advocate for preventing poverty and promoting awareness internationally. She has met with political and religious leaders, heads of states, diplomats, and leaders on behalf of the deprived to convey the message to those who have the power to bring about political and social change. Judd has also narrated three documentaries for YouthAIDS which aired internationally on the Discovery Channel, in National Geographic, and on VH1.

In 2011, she joined the Leadership Council of the International Center for Research on Women(ICRW).

Other organizations Judd has been involved with include Women for Women International and Equality Now, along with other non-governmental organizations that direct attention to social, educational, health, economic, cultural and financial funding of the unfortunate.

So, yeah, she’s actually paid for a lot of people’s dinners.

Tomorrow: The worst “selfish feminist” meme of them all!

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Handsome "These Pretzels Suck" Jack (formerly Pandapool)

Why does it always come down to paying for dinner? You can just ask before hand to split the bill and if they say no, don’t go? Is it that hard?

Zero
Zero
5 years ago

They really don’t like to pay for dinner….
But I know guys who would feel emasculated if you pay for them because they think they are the ones who hunt the mammoth and all that … So dear men could you please make up your minds?
Anyway I like to split the bill doesn’t matter who earns more or which gender they belong to.

Oh and we can get a day off because of our menstruations? I’ve never done that even though I am cursed with really bad cramps doing the first few days. I just take pills and go to work. Sorry guys having the periode is neither fun nor some nice privilege…

Iseult The Idle
Iseult The Idle
5 years ago

@Handsome, apparently there’s also a trope that says if we offer to pay half or pick up the tab, we’re lying.

Because otherwise there would be a way for women to be decent human beings, and that can never happen.

Sam Victors
5 years ago

Whoever made these memes, sure have no creativity or imagination. They repeat the same old dumb dinner joke.

Natalie
Natalie
5 years ago

Let’s see if I can break this down…

– They think women never want to pay for their dinner
– They think this is a view of feminists, even though it’s not
– They never actually hear this view expressed by an actual feminist
– They make a meme because they have no actual examples and so put their own idiot words into a feminist’s mouth

Is that everything?

Bina
5 years ago

Selfish men who expect women to pay them back with sex for the dinner they bought said women while expecting it to end in sex all along, whine and complain about imaginary women demanding dinner, and blame it all on the very feminists who’ve pointed out that a sex-for-dinner arrangement is sexist, and who often advise women to pay for their own dinners when in doubt about the motives of the men they date.

It doesn’t exactly fit in an image macro, but that’s what all these idiotic pix boil down to.

Rafael
5 years ago

That and doors. They have an issue with doors for some reason.

Rule #1 of doors: Whoever gets to the door first opens it for whomever comes after, regardless of gender, age, or race. Because, common decency.

Rule #2 Whatever you do, don’t stand like an idiot blocking said door.

Simple enough.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

In the US, under the FMLA, women AND men are both eligible for 12 weeks of parental leave, not one year.

If a woman takes a full year, she’s doing it on her own dime, not the company’s. (And you just know if she didn’t take any time off from work to care for her baby, the meme makers would be berating her for that, too.) It’s not women’s fault that most men don’t take the full three months’ leave.

As for taking a day off each month, full-time employees at large companies usually get at least 10 days of sick leave per year, which works out to: almost 1 day per month. For men too.

And did you know 40% of those sick days fall on a Monday or Friday? Sounds mighty suspicious to me!

They really are heavily invested in the idea that women are incompetent and lazy, and yet whoever makes these memes sounds like they’re still in high school and haven’t had their first big-boy job yet.

RobinG
RobinG
5 years ago

They are misusing the word “expect”. Something can be expected because of tradition/manners, without anyone caring that much when it doesn’t happen. Paying for dinner/drinks is part of the gesture of inviting someone, unless clearly indicated in advance that there is a cost for the invitee.

Even when a date is more mutually decided, like with online dating, we expect men to pay because that is traditional. I cannot think of any feminist who would be upset with a guy who says, “as a heads up, I’d prefer to split the bill if that’s okay.”

Rather, I find it hard to imagine that the fragile masculinity of these guys could handle a woman picking up the bill.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

If a woman pays for dinner, are MRAs afraid they’d owe the woman sex?

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

Gotta love when these guys use words they obviously don’t understand. Pro-tip, dudes: there’s no such thing as the “male patriarchy.” It’s just patriarchy. You’re so angry about it but you don’t even understand what it is.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

The dude who made the Rebecca Watson meme seems to hate apostrophes as much as he hates feminists.

I don’t take a day off for menstrual reasons every month, but I do sometimes call in because when I have PMS I tend to get very tired but have trouble sleeping anyway. I’ve never had a job where I get an extra day allotted to me that male co-workers don’t get though. It’s pretty common, at least in MN, for men to take a lot of Fridays off to take fishing or hunting long weekends. I don’t really see why it’s worse for me to take a day off from time to time because I feel like shit than it is for a man to take a day off to drink beer on a boat with his friends.

I’m not condemning anyone for taking a long weekend to do so something fun. I just find it annoying that women are shamed for taking time off and men aren’t. Just as sexist guys expect their wives or girlfriends to be sexually and emotionally available at all times, no breaks allowed, they expect their female co-workers to be available to pull not only their own weight, but do the crap work the men don’t want to do (make coffee, mediate conflicts, buy the birthday card and cake for the boss etc). Again, no breaks allowed.

magnesium
magnesium
5 years ago

Oh MRA’s, you’re not fooling anyone. We know no one’s ever voluntarily had dinner with you, on your dime or anyone else’s.

Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
5 years ago

If a woman pays for dinner, are MRAs afraid they’d owe the woman sex?

I think my head just imploded.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Let’s not forget that “selfish” is code for “has needs and wants them to be met.” Women have always been expected to not have any needs of their own. It used to be that women and children existed for the pleasure of the husband/father and women were told to put him first. Now that’s not such an acceptable order, so children have been moved up front instead and women are told to put their children first. At no point has it been socially acceptable for a woman to put herself and her needs first; even women who have not married or had any children are called “selfish” for … having not gotten married or had children and thereby having nobody that society can tell them to put ahead of themselves.

MRAs and adjacents who push the “feminists are selfish” idea are just recycling this very, very old social pressure. Whatever it takes to keep telling women that their needs are unimportant and need to be eternally on the back burner.

Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
5 years ago

Back in my single days, I preferred to take turns paying. Some of the people I dated made less money than I did, so it was understood that I could pick a fancier place if I wanted when I was paying, and they would pick one they could comfortably afford. I never felt like I was being cheated, or even gave much thought to it: the point of the date was to enjoy spending time together, not rack up points to be able to demand some sort of sexual payment.

Did anyone ever explain to these guys that dating and sex are really only fun when both people are enjoying it? Feminists, in my experience, generally have that figured out.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

@ Tara

Do you need duct tape for your imploded head? I think there’s some in the kitchen junk drawer.

Axecalibur
Axecalibur
5 years ago

Nora isn’t just a book character. She’s literally every woman, who’s ever emasculated these guys. She’s every cool girl, who’s turned out to have feelings too. Every rock chick with short, rainbow hair, a messy floor, or a fat mom. Every feeemale who’s dared say no
Replace that name with whatever Mary Catherine or Anne Frances they’re still bitter about. She didn’t get their ‘I’m a mayun, appreciate meee!’ boner up, so everybody’s gotta suffer. She didn’t swear fealty to the Philosopher King they inexplicably think they are, so now every single one of you [pick a slur, any slur]s will face the wrath of their totes rational memes!!1!!

Mortarius
Mortarius
5 years ago

I don’t know what these guys are on about, I’ve only ever had one date where I definitely had to pay, but even then I understood because she was flat broke and out of home.

In fact the last couple of months I was pretty broke and so I didn’t pay for dinner on almost all of my dates.

If they really hate paying for dinner then they should thank feminism for advocating a practical rather than a rigid gender based approach to paying for things in dating and relationships.

GeoffR
GeoffR
5 years ago

I think it’s safe to assume that Ashley Judd doesn’t want any of these plonkers to buy her dinner.

MissEB47
MissEB47
5 years ago

Victorious Parasol-“If a woman pays for dinner, are MRAs afraid they’d owe the woman sex?’

Yes, since that’s what they expect for paying for dates.

Anyway, these memes show just messed up MRA priorities are. Feminists worry about things like: domestic violence, deaths resulting from domestic violence, rape, women often not being believed when reporting rapes, the huge backlog of rape kits that need testing, as well as miscellaneous things like abortion rights, street harassment, equal pay for equal work, women being expected to carry the vast majority of the burden of child care, the stigma working women face for getting pregnant and the effect it has on their careers, equal maternity and paternity leave. MRAs on the other hand, worry about paying for dates, and over weight and tattooed women making their boners sad.

Miss Edgy Nation
Miss Edgy Nation
5 years ago

comment image

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

I love how, in Anti-Feminist Meme World, the only possible kind of date is dinner. Go for a walk? BYO picnic to the park? What are you, some kind of communist bonobo? How is she supposed to feel obligated to dispense sex if nobody’s paid for her?

KindaSortaHarmless
KindaSortaHarmless
5 years ago

I can’t photoshop to save my life, so:

Thinks women are inferior and should be dependent on men

Furious that he has to pay for dinner and hold doors open

Mish
Mish
5 years ago

Please, no, please not the dinner thing again. WHY CAN YOU PEOPLE NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THE DINNER THING????

Anyways, as has been noted here already, this game can’t be won no matter what we do. Remember thingummy a few weeks ago who raised this issue about dinner, and when some of us pointed out that we always paid our own way, he said that women who do that are unattractive?

So yes, I think that what they’re actually angry about is more along the lines of “If I pay for dinner, women should give me sex but sometimes they DON’T.” A truthful version of that meme: “Is happy for me to pay for dinner. Feels she doesn’t owe me sex in return.”

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

What are you, some kind of communist bonobo?

http://media3.giphy.com/media/Z9ewWxXDmJFFm/giphy.gif

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

One meme maker alleges that Janeane Garofolo wants men to pay for dinner, pay for drinks, and (presumably receive) half the assets once she and (they? as in all men?) are divorced.

Oh, Mister Meme Maker, you don’t know the half of it. JG is far, far worse than anything you could imagine. And it’s got nothing to do with what your fevered imagination cooked up.

She’s been married, yeah, but only as a joke. Take deep breaths, Mister Meme Maker, it only gets worse.

She’s asexual. She has nothing to do with anyone else’s genitals ever. Wait, wait! It gets much worse.

She’s got a boyfriend. And she’s had him for ten years!

Weep, Mister Meme Maker. Not only can’t you find a girlfriend, a woman who never has sex has a long-term boyfriend. And she once had a husband!

Here’s a handkerchief.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janeane_Garofalo

JG spent some of her growing-up years in Katy, Texas. Yep, that Katy, Texas.

Venice
Venice
5 years ago

@Zero

But I know guys who would feel emasculated if you pay for them because they think they are the ones who hunt the mammoth and all that … So dear men could you please make up your minds?

They do have their minds made up. They demand to pay so that they have something to hold over you

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

@KindaSortaHarmless: Don’t worry, buddy, I got ya. As soon as photobucket comes back online after maintenance, I’ll post yours for you, as well as a handful of other ones I came up with while waiting for photobucket to come off of maintenance.

RosieLa
RosieLa
5 years ago

I really don’t understand this paying for dates thing as I simply didn’t go out for dates. We’d make fancy dinners for each other at our respective houses, or we’d go for a picnic in a park.
Or we’d go for a bike ride and a picnic.

But then, my courtship involved two students, so neither of us could pay for dinner without a coupon.

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
5 years ago

Why can’t they just go the typical nerd route and obsess over cartoon girls?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

Man pays for dinner: “Women are burdens and parasites!”

Woman pays for dinner: “Women are emasculating bitches!”

(Later) “Why won’t women have dinner with me?”

Lagoon
Lagoon
5 years ago

I know anecdotal evidence isn’t worth much, but when I asked my partner to date me, I took him to the fanciest place I could find and paid for it all, and included a few expensive holiday gifts because I wanted him to understand how much he meant to me. That was the ONLY time paying for the food ever mattered to me. I usually pay for my own food, and will cover my partner or any friend if they need it. It’s ridiculous that they honestly put so much emphasis on this dinner thing because /it’s not that big of a deal/. As many of y’all have said, it’s not like they can’t ask to split the bill beforehand, and plus I thought they wanted women who wouldn’t “emasculate” them?

Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
5 years ago

@OgglyBoggles

Because cartoon girls and video game females are starting to become more diverse, more interesting, and *GASP.* empowered. Gone are the wimpy damsels in distress like that Princess Peach in that crappy 2D platforming game on the Nintendon’t consoles… We’ve got characters like Undyne from Undertale now!

Cyberwulf
Cyberwulf
5 years ago

They’re hung up on the dinner thing because women should be making *them* dinner. MRAs can’t cook.

The last time I took a day off because of my period it was because the cramps were so bad I vomited. I’d like to see these poxy man-children coping with blood oozing out of their dicks for five days accompanied by cramps they can feel in their hipbones and bladder.

Youthful Indescretion
Youthful Indescretion
5 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger That’s a brilliant gif!

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

Hahaha – I’ve seen that picture of the “Feminist” wearing a sash before. It’s (ostensibly) a picture of a feMRA who pretends to be a straw feminist as a “Comedy” act for her buddies at AVFM. Who I first heard of after she tried to troll here as her character.

So, either this is yet another case of MRAs confusing their own stupid “Jokes” with things actual feminists have said or she stole the picture.

ChelleG
ChelleG
5 years ago

I make a point of quietly letting my date know beforehand that I prefer to pay my own way. Part of why I like coffee as a first date is that you can make it as quick or as long as you like and nobody’s out a lot of money if you don’t click. I’ve taken to arriving early so that I can order and pay before my date arrives, just so I can avoid they whole “who pays” conversation. I’ve had dates become really overbearing and insistent that they pay when this has come up, and for me it’s a huge red flag. If he says that he’d like to pay but that if that’s my preference, he’s fine with it, that’s lovely. If he argues with me over it, it almost always means there won’t be a second date.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Cyberwulf | May 14, 2016 at 1:56 am
They’re hung up on the dinner thing because women should be making *them* dinner. MRAs can’t cook.

The last time I took a day off because of my period it was because the cramps were so bad I vomited. I’d like to see these poxy man-children coping with blood oozing out of their dicks for five days accompanied by cramps they can feel in their hipbones and bladder.

I’ve actually heard stories of people who have periods who had their appendixes burst and they didn’t notice because the pain wasn’t that different from a period cramp.

Also, photobucket’s back up, so now I can post more of the macros! Yay!

First, KindaSortaHarmless’ suggestion:

http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/mra2_zpsuggwxvx3.jpg

And now my additions:

http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/MRA7_zps6jpyxnte.jpg

http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/MRA4_zpsqbqlaapo.jpg

http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/MRA9_zpsth2dmzql.jpg

http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/MRA8_zps58ubxxyr.jpg

http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/MRA3_zpsgxdowdtc.jpg

http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/MRA10_zpsqvg8bzay.jpg

http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/MRA6_zps2yqmqarf.jpg

http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/MRA5_zpszozrisis.jpg

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

Great googly moogly, why don’t they just start making their memes with images of bra burning women….at least then we’d have some VARIETY instead of the same griping and whining about paying for dinners with women they never go out with on dates they never have.

So what if a man pays for a woman’s meal, or her fancy handbag, shoes, a house, whatever – it’s that guy’s money and he can spend it however he likes – including on buying things for a woman or women! Nobody is forcing MRAs and MGTOWs to do it, so it has ZERO impact on them and their finances.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

I started dating in the early 1970s. I insisted on paying for myself, and the servers would always comment on it. Always.

And then sometimes guys wouldn’t allow me to pay. I had a rule for myself: Insist three times and then, and only then, give up. I couldn’t argue all evening! It was the not-nice guys who insisted on paying.

Nowadays the not-nice guys have new tricks. They’re often more than happy to let you pay. In fact, they might insist. But paying even for both of you won’t win you any respect. Nothing will.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
5 years ago

I’m starting to date again. And while when I was younger I paid or he paid and it wasn’t a big deal, I now expect for the man to pay for the first date. (FIRST ONLY). Since I almost always insist on only meeting for drinks, it’s not a big tab. It’s not dinner. Y’know why? Because I know these types of guys get all funny about the paying for dates malarky and I want to see if he’s gonna get all funny or just go ahead and buy the pint. That being said, I always have enough money to cover my share (and his, if it comes to that) and I’ve sometimes broken my own rule if I happen to arrive at the venue first – I’ll buy my own drink and will txt to see what he’d like to drink.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
5 years ago

Hey, they have a point! There isn’t a single time I’ve been on a date with Ashley Judd where I haven’t had to pay. Not a single one.

Youthful Indescretion
Youthful Indescretion
5 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention. A* for your macro efforts! And they all make a hell of a lot more sense than anything the anti-feminist brigade have shat out.

@Sir Bodsworth Really? She’s always been very generous on every date we’ve had. And I didn’t even have to put out.

calmdown
calmdown
5 years ago

comment image

FYI, these bonobos are also a meme template. 🙂

11twiggins
11twiggins
5 years ago

Why do these guys obsess so much over how they’re expected to pay for dinner? Are we supposed to believe that guys who spend time making anti-feminist memes on the internet are losing money hand over fist paying for their numerous dates’ appetizers? Let’s be real.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

My dates with Ashley Judd have passed in a blur of happiness.

Finally! Ashley has hinted that we should get together so many times. I finally took a chance, and it’s — wonderful! She’s wonderful!

Dinner? I suppose we ate dinner. I suppose someone paid. I just can’t recall. . . .

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