In today’s slightly delayed Memeday post, we’re going to be looking at the “selfish feminist” meme, a variation of the good old “hypocritical feminist” meme that’s based on the notion that selfish, spoiled women adopt feminism in order to score equal pay without equal work — and in the greatest crime against humanity ever known — without ever having to pay for dinner.
Once in a long while, the mememaker will throw in a literary reference, like this one namechecking the heroine from Ibsen’s A Doll’s House.
But mostly the dudes making these memes seem to be peeved that (allegedly) feminist women are (allegedly) making them pay for dinner without “putting out” afterwards.
For some reason, the makers of these “selfish feminist” memes often put their words into the mouths of real and recognizable women who would never actually say such a thing.
Sometimes they use pictures of favorite feminist targets like Anita Sarkeesian …
… and Rebecca Watson:
Other times they use feminist celebrities, like comedian Janeane Garofolo
And actress/activist Ashley Judd:
Actually, they seem just a teensy bit obsessed with Ashley Judd and her alleged refusal to ever pay for dinner:
Apparently, the deviously feminist Ashley Judd also manages to avoid paying for her fancy purses as well.
Yeah, Ashley Judd has a net worth of $22 million, at least according to Celebrity Net Worth. I’m pretty sure she pays for her own handbags.
Not only that, but the allegedly selfish Judd — and yes, at least some of the angry mememakers know that the woman in the meme is Ashley Judd and not just some random angry lady feminist — now devotes much of her life not to acquiring handbags but to humanitarian work. Here’s how Wikipedia sums it up:
Ashley Judd’s humanitarian work has revolved around AIDS. Judd has travelled with YouthAIDSto places affected by illness and poverty such as Cambodia, Kenya, Rwanda, and many others.
Inspired by her travels, which allowed her to witness the life of the poor and uneducated, she has since become an advocate for preventing poverty and promoting awareness internationally. She has met with political and religious leaders, heads of states, diplomats, and leaders on behalf of the deprived to convey the message to those who have the power to bring about political and social change. Judd has also narrated three documentaries for YouthAIDS which aired internationally on the Discovery Channel, in National Geographic, and on VH1.
In 2011, she joined the Leadership Council of the International Center for Research on Women(ICRW).
Other organizations Judd has been involved with include Women for Women International and Equality Now, along with other non-governmental organizations that direct attention to social, educational, health, economic, cultural and financial funding of the unfortunate.
So, yeah, she’s actually paid for a lot of people’s dinners.
Tomorrow: The worst “selfish feminist” meme of them all!
Why does it always come down to paying for dinner? You can just ask before hand to split the bill and if they say no, don’t go? Is it that hard?
They really don’t like to pay for dinner….
But I know guys who would feel emasculated if you pay for them because they think they are the ones who hunt the mammoth and all that … So dear men could you please make up your minds?
Anyway I like to split the bill doesn’t matter who earns more or which gender they belong to.
Oh and we can get a day off because of our menstruations? I’ve never done that even though I am cursed with really bad cramps doing the first few days. I just take pills and go to work. Sorry guys having the periode is neither fun nor some nice privilege…
@Handsome, apparently there’s also a trope that says if we offer to pay half or pick up the tab, we’re lying.
Because otherwise there would be a way for women to be decent human beings, and that can never happen.
Whoever made these memes, sure have no creativity or imagination. They repeat the same old dumb dinner joke.
http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/MRA1_zpsohqzqubp.jpg
And here’s the original in case anyone wants to take a crack at it:
http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/MRABlank_zpshbp1ww4l.jpg
Let’s see if I can break this down…
– They think women never want to pay for their dinner
– They think this is a view of feminists, even though it’s not
– They never actually hear this view expressed by an actual feminist
– They make a meme because they have no actual examples and so put their own idiot words into a feminist’s mouth
Is that everything?
Selfish men who expect women to pay them back with sex for the dinner they bought said women while expecting it to end in sex all along, whine and complain about imaginary women demanding dinner, and blame it all on the very feminists who’ve pointed out that a sex-for-dinner arrangement is sexist, and who often advise women to pay for their own dinners when in doubt about the motives of the men they date.
It doesn’t exactly fit in an image macro, but that’s what all these idiotic pix boil down to.
That and doors. They have an issue with doors for some reason.
Rule #1 of doors: Whoever gets to the door first opens it for whomever comes after, regardless of gender, age, or race. Because, common decency.
Rule #2 Whatever you do, don’t stand like an idiot blocking said door.
Simple enough.
In the US, under the FMLA, women AND men are both eligible for 12 weeks of parental leave, not one year.
If a woman takes a full year, she’s doing it on her own dime, not the company’s. (And you just know if she didn’t take any time off from work to care for her baby, the meme makers would be berating her for that, too.) It’s not women’s fault that most men don’t take the full three months’ leave.
As for taking a day off each month, full-time employees at large companies usually get at least 10 days of sick leave per year, which works out to: almost 1 day per month. For men too.
And did you know 40% of those sick days fall on a Monday or Friday? Sounds mighty suspicious to me!
They really are heavily invested in the idea that women are incompetent and lazy, and yet whoever makes these memes sounds like they’re still in high school and haven’t had their first big-boy job yet.
They are misusing the word “expect”. Something can be expected because of tradition/manners, without anyone caring that much when it doesn’t happen. Paying for dinner/drinks is part of the gesture of inviting someone, unless clearly indicated in advance that there is a cost for the invitee.
Even when a date is more mutually decided, like with online dating, we expect men to pay because that is traditional. I cannot think of any feminist who would be upset with a guy who says, “as a heads up, I’d prefer to split the bill if that’s okay.”
Rather, I find it hard to imagine that the fragile masculinity of these guys could handle a woman picking up the bill.
If a woman pays for dinner, are MRAs afraid they’d owe the woman sex?
Gotta love when these guys use words they obviously don’t understand. Pro-tip, dudes: there’s no such thing as the “male patriarchy.” It’s just patriarchy. You’re so angry about it but you don’t even understand what it is.
The dude who made the Rebecca Watson meme seems to hate apostrophes as much as he hates feminists.
I don’t take a day off for menstrual reasons every month, but I do sometimes call in because when I have PMS I tend to get very tired but have trouble sleeping anyway. I’ve never had a job where I get an extra day allotted to me that male co-workers don’t get though. It’s pretty common, at least in MN, for men to take a lot of Fridays off to take fishing or hunting long weekends. I don’t really see why it’s worse for me to take a day off from time to time because I feel like shit than it is for a man to take a day off to drink beer on a boat with his friends.
I’m not condemning anyone for taking a long weekend to do so something fun. I just find it annoying that women are shamed for taking time off and men aren’t. Just as sexist guys expect their wives or girlfriends to be sexually and emotionally available at all times, no breaks allowed, they expect their female co-workers to be available to pull not only their own weight, but do the crap work the men don’t want to do (make coffee, mediate conflicts, buy the birthday card and cake for the boss etc). Again, no breaks allowed.
Oh MRA’s, you’re not fooling anyone. We know no one’s ever voluntarily had dinner with you, on your dime or anyone else’s.
I think my head just imploded.
Let’s not forget that “selfish” is code for “has needs and wants them to be met.” Women have always been expected to not have any needs of their own. It used to be that women and children existed for the pleasure of the husband/father and women were told to put him first. Now that’s not such an acceptable order, so children have been moved up front instead and women are told to put their children first. At no point has it been socially acceptable for a woman to put herself and her needs first; even women who have not married or had any children are called “selfish” for … having not gotten married or had children and thereby having nobody that society can tell them to put ahead of themselves.
MRAs and adjacents who push the “feminists are selfish” idea are just recycling this very, very old social pressure. Whatever it takes to keep telling women that their needs are unimportant and need to be eternally on the back burner.
Back in my single days, I preferred to take turns paying. Some of the people I dated made less money than I did, so it was understood that I could pick a fancier place if I wanted when I was paying, and they would pick one they could comfortably afford. I never felt like I was being cheated, or even gave much thought to it: the point of the date was to enjoy spending time together, not rack up points to be able to demand some sort of sexual payment.
Did anyone ever explain to these guys that dating and sex are really only fun when both people are enjoying it? Feminists, in my experience, generally have that figured out.
@ Tara
Do you need duct tape for your imploded head? I think there’s some in the kitchen junk drawer.
Nora isn’t just a book character. She’s literally every woman, who’s ever emasculated these guys. She’s every cool girl, who’s turned out to have feelings too. Every rock chick with short, rainbow hair, a messy floor, or a fat mom. Every feeemale who’s dared say no
Replace that name with whatever Mary Catherine or Anne Frances they’re still bitter about. She didn’t get their ‘I’m a mayun, appreciate meee!’ boner up, so everybody’s gotta suffer. She didn’t swear fealty to the Philosopher King they inexplicably think they are, so now every single one of you [pick a slur, any slur]s will face the wrath of their totes rational memes!!1!!
I don’t know what these guys are on about, I’ve only ever had one date where I definitely had to pay, but even then I understood because she was flat broke and out of home.
In fact the last couple of months I was pretty broke and so I didn’t pay for dinner on almost all of my dates.
If they really hate paying for dinner then they should thank feminism for advocating a practical rather than a rigid gender based approach to paying for things in dating and relationships.
I think it’s safe to assume that Ashley Judd doesn’t want any of these plonkers to buy her dinner.
Victorious Parasol-“If a woman pays for dinner, are MRAs afraid they’d owe the woman sex?’
Yes, since that’s what they expect for paying for dates.
Anyway, these memes show just messed up MRA priorities are. Feminists worry about things like: domestic violence, deaths resulting from domestic violence, rape, women often not being believed when reporting rapes, the huge backlog of rape kits that need testing, as well as miscellaneous things like abortion rights, street harassment, equal pay for equal work, women being expected to carry the vast majority of the burden of child care, the stigma working women face for getting pregnant and the effect it has on their careers, equal maternity and paternity leave. MRAs on the other hand, worry about paying for dates, and over weight and tattooed women making their boners sad.
I love how, in Anti-Feminist Meme World, the only possible kind of date is dinner. Go for a walk? BYO picnic to the park? What are you, some kind of communist bonobo? How is she supposed to feel obligated to dispense sex if nobody’s paid for her?
I can’t photoshop to save my life, so:
Thinks women are inferior and should be dependent on men
Furious that he has to pay for dinner and hold doors open