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Gals! Drive away creepy dudes with dirty socks, condoms, and the Pixie Cut of Doom

Hideous lady monster, totally Would Not Bang
Hideous lady monster, totally Would Not Bang

Famously lady hating garbage site Return of Kings has published another one of their helpful posts outlining simple ways that women can drive away the sort of guy who takes dating advice from, well, Return of Kings.

In the post, titled “30 Signs That An Eastern European Girl Isn’t Relationship Material,” regular RoK contributor Jean-Batave Poqueliche provides a handy guide to all sorts of things that RoK Red Pillers see as red flags.

I’ve adapted some of my favorites into my own list of 8 Ways Eastern European Women Can Send Roosh Fanboys Running for the Door. Happily, many of these suggestions should also work for non-Eastern European women as well.

Throw your clothes (and possibly your birth control) on the floor

Poqueliche warns his readers to avoid women who are messy.

If you go to hers and … you discover that she has clothes on the floor and everything is out of place, beware. She is careless and has probably the same behavior towards sex and protection.

Let’s just set aside the irony of seeing this statement on a site run by Roosh V, who, by his own admission, had unprotected sex with multiple women over the course of several years even though he thought there was a good chance he had HIV.

The good news here is that women can scare off a Roosh fanboy by simply throwing some dirty socks on the floor.

Buy a few condoms

Apparently Roosh and his fanboys are more terrified by women who are so loose that they own their own condoms than they are of having sex with a woman they barely know without condoms.

Have friends from other countries

This, according to Poqueliche, is a sign that a women “likes foreign culture, ergo she is partial to a foreign knob that is not designed to be static.”

Wait, penises can generate static electricity? I should have probably read the manual a little more carefully.

Tell your date you prefer poetry to firearms

Poqueliche warns men not to date any woman who’s

repulsed by the idea of violence, manliness, or weapons.

She does not understand that a man could fight for his family, enjoy masculine hobbies or knows how to shoot. She wants a progressive man that reads poetry and is not ashamed to cry.

Do bawdy limericks count?

Learn enough about pickup artistry to know when some dude is trying it on you

Poqueliche tells men to shun any woman who

calls you out for escalating, not by playfully delaying it but putting it in words in the “I know what you are doing” way.

Alternately, you could simply work “player” or “pickup artist” or “you’re one of those creepy jackasses who reads Roosh, aren’t you” into your conversation, as that is also a sign to them that YOU KNOW.

Show your bellybutton

As Poqueliche sees it, this is a big slutty tell, and “generally the mark of an especially childish and irresponsible girl.”

Weirdly, RoK’s graphics-master chose to illustrate Poqueliche’s discussion of this important topic with a picture of a woman baring her belly in such a way that … her bellybutton is not actually visible.

Which raises the question: Do RoK readers actually know what a bellybutton is? Is it possible that Roosh and his readership come from some far-away planet where they reproduce by, I dunno, laying eggs, or cell division, or publishing crappy eBooks?

Be older than 25

RoK readers regularly express deep disdain towards women who make it past the quarter-century mark without snagging a man, declaring them unfit for serious relationships. So you’ve got that going for you.

Unfortunately Roosh and his fanboys are still totally willing to “bang” spinsters in their late 20s and up. Sorry old gals! While they don’t want to marry you, Roosh’s fanboys will still pester you for sex, especially since, as Poqueliche sees it, you decrepit old hags are basically easy pickings with

usually a higher notch count and some kind of a despair for a cock that comes with a prospect of relationship.

Henri here feels a similar despair, though in his case he hungers not for sex but for tuna fish

Oh, wait, is that a can opening?
Oh, wait, is that a can opening?

Cut your hair short

If you’re unable to ward off Roosh’s fanboys using any of the tips above, you can always CUT YOUR HAIR, something so terrifying for Poqueliche that it conjures up images of French villagers shaving the heads of women suspected of being Nazi collaborators in the aftermath of D-day.

No, really. You can practically hear him shudder as he asks

Why would a man want to have sex with something that looks like an underfed woman that got sheared just after the locals found out she slept with the occupying army?

Short hair: apparently the most effective form of creep-repellent after pepper spray.

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isidore13
isidore13
8 years ago

Did you also notice, WWTH, that later he slid in a thing about being black? Because that was also supposed to buy him a pass for misogyny, I think. I don’t mind taking the abuse thing at face value, though; my compassion for him there doesn’t mean I think it’s okay he’s a misogynist.

jake
jake
8 years ago

I don’t care about you mocking me it’s the same thing my mom did, and the abuse story came up because I was asked a question. I don’t care what you do but alot you seem to care what I don’t do. Even though I don’t care most of you called me names, if I was really bitter wouldn’t I stoop to your level? Who’s really bitter?

isidore13
isidore13
8 years ago

If you don’t care what we do, why are you here?

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

I’m desperately hoping Cowboy over here has been trained in the use of the gun he apparently carries everywhere. That scares the hell out of me tbh.

littleknown
littleknown
8 years ago

I would say it’s the guy who loves to tell the story about how he tells women about the time he got his rocks off watching a woman being beaten by her boyfriend, because women don’t find him attractive.

But that’s just me. You might have a different definition of “bitter”.

space garbage
space garbage
8 years ago

Mods pls delete if this is inappropriate. I’m sorry, but some things in this guy’s posts hit a bit too close to home. (Assuming at least a part of what he said is true.)

@Jake
Hi. I also had an abusive family, and experiences with psychiatrists and therapists that had me on the verge of suicide, or at least abandoning treatment entirely. Now I don’t know your diagnosis, but if your situation is anything like mine (clinically depressed & suicidal since childhood), I’m sorry but you absolutely have to keep fighting for your fucking mental health. There is nothing more important. Yes, you’re likely going to need absurd amounts of time, money and mental fortitude in order to burn through enough therapists and psychiatrists and clinic stays and medications to find something that works for you. Yes, some of the things/doctors you try will set you back, maybe to the beginning or worse. It might literally take years, and/or leaving your homeland. (I am literally only alive and functioning because I happened to emigrate to a country with a good healthcare system where I could eventually afford treatment.) But it is better that falling down a hole you cannot climb out of, which WILL eventually happen. Please try to look for self-help groups for men in your area. And groups for children of addicts in case your mother was one. If you’re in university, there’s probably some sort of counseling available to students. They might be able to recommend male therapists too. Just – please take care of yourself.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

isidore13,

Yeah, I saw that. My usual policy is to believe people who say they are abuse survivors, even if it’s someone who is an asshole. But the way he came out swinging with the usual MGTOW angry and misogynistic sad boner talking points and then started lobbing excuses for it and tried to guilt us has set off my bullshit detectors. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter though. Whatever your background, no excuse for hate.

And Jake? If you really are a black man and not doing some “not my shield” sock puppeting, so what? I was sexually assaulted as a child by two classmates who were both black boys. But I don’t hate all black men and boys because of it. I can even manage to be opposed to the fact that black men and boys are disproportionately targeted for police violence. I even do what meager things I can do to help, mostly by defending the victims of police brutality and defending Black Lives Matter to fellow white people who are refusing to see the problem. I’m not trying to be a hero here, and I’m not. But unlike you, I don’t see past hurts as an excuse to be a terrible person. You can do better. You just don’t want to.

jake
jake
8 years ago

I said because im black and sold drugs I wouldn’t call the police (plus I live in WV) you need to stop with the selective reading.

Dr. NicolaLuna, Epic Slut
Dr. NicolaLuna, Epic Slut
8 years ago

@katz & axecalibur
I just laughed so hard at the mine jokes that my puppy looked at me like “wtf?” And then he got all excited and jumped all over me and licked my face.

And that’s why I love this site. Even when dealing with really shitty misogynists you fantastic people still make me happy and thankful to be here.

Plus now I’m cuddling my puppy. I’ve only had him 2 weeks and he’s already house trained and has stopped chewing my stuff.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

I don’t care about you mocking me it’s the same thing my mom did,

It’s not abusive to oppose misogyny. Even if our opposition to misogyny takes the form of mocking. Stop trying this manipulative guilt trip shit. You’re not very good at it. I think it’s terrible what you’re doing, bringing up other people’s memories of abuse they themselves endured, all so that you can try to justify the misogyny you’ve been spewing here.

isidore13
isidore13
8 years ago

“stop with the selective reading” wow, that’s some projection right there, Jake. Impressive.

jake
jake
8 years ago

I hate the black lives matter movement, black people kill more black people than any other race and nobody was saying anything, now that few black people were wrongfully killed people want to scream black lives matter what a joke.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ jake

I’m sorry but I’m still highly sceptical of all your claims.

As mentioned before, your story is just too pat; and whilst normally I have a presumption that people talking about abuse are telling the truth I’m not convinced in your case.

It seems to me (please correct me if I’m wrong) that you’ve just had a look at some recent threads here, like the one about abusive mothers, and adopted/stolen some of the narratives to create a fake persona for your own ends. You also seem to be trying for a Catch 22 style gotcha with the ‘by the way I’m black, so I can’t trust the police’ thing.

To me though your legend is both externally and internally inconsistent and therefore I (personally, others here may give you the benefit of the doubt, they’re nice like that) find your story unconvincing.

For example:

What’s even funnier is after discussing this with other women

When does a MGTOW engage in discussions with women? Or was that just you running the same spiel as you’re doing here on another website?

ETA: ninja’d by everyone as per usual 🙂

katz
8 years ago

I hate the black lives matter movement, black people kill more black people than any other race and nobody was saying anything, now that few black people were wrongfully killed people want to scream black lives matter what a joke.

Well, THAT came out of nowhere.

And certainly convinces me that you aren’t a white dude who made all this up.

jake
jake
8 years ago

I didn’t say mocking was abusive, but I did say my mom called me names which is what your’re doing. You happy now your on her level now.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

What’s your purpose in coming here, Jake? I’m curious. What’s the best outcome you can imagine? Were you just hoping to hurt a group of mostly women? Are you hoping to generate sympathy? Do you want us to all renounce feminism forever and jump on the first lonely dude we see?

katz
8 years ago

11:38: Accuses us of saying not helping someone is just as bad as abuse

3:21: Says mocking is just as bad as abuse

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

“I’m not saying mocking is abusive, I’m just saying that mocking me makes you the same as an abuser.” Oooooh. Well then.

Also friends I am spending my Saturday afternoon at the office, babysitting the printer as it processes hundreds and hundreds of pages. I can’t figure out how to turn all of the lights on, and I wish I had brought some beer or something (although it’s probably illegal to drink here anyway, so it’s just as well). How’s everybody else’s weekend going?

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

I hate the black lives matter movement, black people kill more black people than any other race and nobody was saying anything, now that few black people were wrongfully killed people want to scream black lives matter what a joke.

I’m a female and I think that catcalling is a compliment, they’re shouldn’t be females in video games because it’s pandering and females are whiny and there’s no way Rey could ever fight with a lightsaber. Did I mention that I’m a female? And I’m really hot a hb10 I think the men say? I think pick up artist are totes sexy and feminists are all fat and ugly and jealous that they can’t get a man. I mentioned that I’m female, right?

jake
jake
8 years ago

This will be my last post but I’ll tell you why I don’t like the black lives movement. Ten years ago I had a friend named chase who was mixed, was a good guy never hurt anyone. For whatever reason some other guy wanted to kill him, to be honest I don’t think chase had a problem with him or ever spoke to him. This was in the hood right across the street from my aunts house, I wasn’t there but she saw everything. There was at least thirty people out there some who he would have called friends, I guess the guy called to let some people know so they could get out the way. Instead of warning him they crossed the street and watched, dude shot him twice in the back he was dead in seconds, so clearly black lives only matter when other races kill us not when it’s other blacks.

Axecalibur
Axecalibur
8 years ago

@Doc
My dog (3/4yo?) refuses to stop chewing things. That is until I catch her, and she’ll pretend like it never happened. Then I tell her no, and put whatever it was near her snout. She starts slapping at it with her paw. Oh, so all of a sudden ya don’t want it anymore? Like I’ve offended her genteel sensibilities by implying she would do such an undignified thing

@jake

I hate the black lives matter movement, black people kill more black people than any other race and nobody was saying anything, now that few black people were wrongfully killed people want to scream black lives matter what a joke.

I’m sorry, bruh. The 100 Black Men of America, the NAACP, Common, and select members of American blackdom got together, and… It was close vote, but
comment image
You’re still black, obviously, but your white guilt points are not refundable. Also, the rest of us will only reclaim you if you become President, make a medical breakthrough, or invent another use for peanuts

pitshade
pitshade
8 years ago

Well at least you’re using the same overgeneralization of black people that you are of women.

kupo
kupo
8 years ago

@Viscaria
Ugh, sounds like an irritating way to spend a Saturday.

I had a successful baking experiment and went to the Farmer’s Market. Now I’m snuggling on the couch with a sick kitty.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ axecalibur

Also, the rest of us will only reclaim you if you become President, make a medical breakthrough, or invent another use for peanuts

I’m not one for internet acronyms but please accept my first use ever of “PMSL” 🙂

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Aw, poor kitty cat :(. Good thing you’re there to share some snuggles.

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