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Gals! Drive away creepy dudes with dirty socks, condoms, and the Pixie Cut of Doom

Hideous lady monster, totally Would Not Bang
Hideous lady monster, totally Would Not Bang

Famously lady hating garbage site Return of Kings has published another one of their helpful posts outlining simple ways that women can drive away the sort of guy who takes dating advice from, well, Return of Kings.

In the post, titled “30 Signs That An Eastern European Girl Isn’t Relationship Material,” regular RoK contributor Jean-Batave Poqueliche provides a handy guide to all sorts of things that RoK Red Pillers see as red flags.

I’ve adapted some of my favorites into my own list of 8 Ways Eastern European Women Can Send Roosh Fanboys Running for the Door. Happily, many of these suggestions should also work for non-Eastern European women as well.

Throw your clothes (and possibly your birth control) on the floor

Poqueliche warns his readers to avoid women who are messy.

If you go to hers and … you discover that she has clothes on the floor and everything is out of place, beware. She is careless and has probably the same behavior towards sex and protection.

Let’s just set aside the irony of seeing this statement on a site run by Roosh V, who, by his own admission, had unprotected sex with multiple women over the course of several years even though he thought there was a good chance he had HIV.

The good news here is that women can scare off a Roosh fanboy by simply throwing some dirty socks on the floor.

Buy a few condoms

Apparently Roosh and his fanboys are more terrified by women who are so loose that they own their own condoms than they are of having sex with a woman they barely know without condoms.

Have friends from other countries

This, according to Poqueliche, is a sign that a women “likes foreign culture, ergo she is partial to a foreign knob that is not designed to be static.”

Wait, penises can generate static electricity? I should have probably read the manual a little more carefully.

Tell your date you prefer poetry to firearms

Poqueliche warns men not to date any woman who’s

repulsed by the idea of violence, manliness, or weapons.

She does not understand that a man could fight for his family, enjoy masculine hobbies or knows how to shoot. She wants a progressive man that reads poetry and is not ashamed to cry.

Do bawdy limericks count?

Learn enough about pickup artistry to know when some dude is trying it on you

Poqueliche tells men to shun any woman who

calls you out for escalating, not by playfully delaying it but putting it in words in the “I know what you are doing” way.

Alternately, you could simply work “player” or “pickup artist” or “you’re one of those creepy jackasses who reads Roosh, aren’t you” into your conversation, as that is also a sign to them that YOU KNOW.

Show your bellybutton

As Poqueliche sees it, this is a big slutty tell, and “generally the mark of an especially childish and irresponsible girl.”

Weirdly, RoK’s graphics-master chose to illustrate Poqueliche’s discussion of this important topic with a picture of a woman baring her belly in such a way that … her bellybutton is not actually visible.

Which raises the question: Do RoK readers actually know what a bellybutton is? Is it possible that Roosh and his readership come from some far-away planet where they reproduce by, I dunno, laying eggs, or cell division, or publishing crappy eBooks?

Be older than 25

RoK readers regularly express deep disdain towards women who make it past the quarter-century mark without snagging a man, declaring them unfit for serious relationships. So you’ve got that going for you.

Unfortunately Roosh and his fanboys are still totally willing to “bang” spinsters in their late 20s and up. Sorry old gals! While they don’t want to marry you, Roosh’s fanboys will still pester you for sex, especially since, as Poqueliche sees it, you decrepit old hags are basically easy pickings with

usually a higher notch count and some kind of a despair for a cock that comes with a prospect of relationship.

Henri here feels a similar despair, though in his case he hungers not for sex but for tuna fish

Oh, wait, is that a can opening?
Oh, wait, is that a can opening?

Cut your hair short

If you’re unable to ward off Roosh’s fanboys using any of the tips above, you can always CUT YOUR HAIR, something so terrifying for Poqueliche that it conjures up images of French villagers shaving the heads of women suspected of being Nazi collaborators in the aftermath of D-day.

No, really. You can practically hear him shudder as he asks

Why would a man want to have sex with something that looks like an underfed woman that got sheared just after the locals found out she slept with the occupying army?

Short hair: apparently the most effective form of creep-repellent after pepper spray.

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jake
jake
8 years ago

My point was actions have reactions whether we think they’re wrong or not, and im not bragging about I see it as my life im not happy or sad I just exist.

Tessa
Tessa
8 years ago

Jake:

You make it seem like pulled up a chair and started eating popcorn, I just walked by, seen it and made a quick decision to keep it moving. I didn’t get anything out of this despite what some of you think.

You specifically said:

The other night as im leaving my house I see my neighbor beating the shit out of his wife in the car and do you know what I told myself, go your own way. What’s even funnier is after discussing this with other women they felt that I was just as bad as him for not calling the police or helping. So I told them, women told me to go my own way don’t tell me not to when your in trouble.

That’s not only rather braggy, it shows you chose not to help out of spite. Also the part “What’s even funnier.” Even funnier than what? Seeing a woman beaten and ignoring it because of “going your own way”?

Wetherby
Wetherby
8 years ago

I can think of quite a few things funnier than that. Most things, in fact.

Axecalibur
Axecalibur
8 years ago

Jake: you’re all malicious shebeasts who don’t care about my suffering

Commentariat: We’re sorry you feel that way, Jake, and we’re sorry you had to go thru the things you did. We know it’s hard, but we’re rooting for you

Jake: Aha, I knew it! Proved my point suckers!

Me:
comment image
Nope. Pack it in, people! We’ve reached peak ‘edge’. Sympathy is dead! Imma find an abandoned lighthouse, go MY own way from this new, cold, cruel world. I shall be a hermit with only the sea as my mistress. Harsh tho she may be, aye, fair she be as well
http://24.media.tumblr.com/c721f1b80e06ab4935f5023587b4ce54/tumblr_mfilvb2qFF1rj0wh6o1_500.gif

isidore13
isidore13
8 years ago

Jake, you’re blaming the actions of a few women on all women – is it any wonder that we find this offensive?

Zatar
Zatar
8 years ago

I’ve seen a lot of anti feminists claim that all feminists are like Jake. I’m so glad that that isn’t true.

jake
jake
8 years ago

Look call it what you want but I remember a homeless guy helping a women in trouble who in the process was stabbed and instead of helping him people stood around recording with their smartphones. So when you take that into account and how I was treated, I said not going to happen to me. I didn’t come here for sympathy someone asked a question and I answered, if read my early life post I never recieved sympathy so it’s not something I can give. All of you say you would help someone well im different I see someone in trouble they are on their own unless it benefits me to jump in for the save. Im not a hero and won’t try to be anything im not, I don’t care what day it is.

isidore13
isidore13
8 years ago

It’s very sad to me that you live your life based on other people’s actions instead of following your own moral code. What you seem to be saying is that because other people didn’t offer help, that means it’s okay that you don’t offer help. Why are you letting other people guide your ethics?

Zatar
Zatar
8 years ago

I like how Jake doesn’t try to make himself look like a good person he bravely chases after the most openly childish and selfish logic he can find blaming everyone but himself.

jake
jake
8 years ago

That’s the thing I don’t care if it’s okay or not, I do what I want regardless of how anyone feels about it, it’s my life. You right it’s my fault her boyfriend beat her up not hers for making a poor decision in a mate.

Dr. NicolaLuna, Epic Slut
Dr. NicolaLuna, Epic Slut
8 years ago

Except that you literally just said that if it was a man being beaten you would help him. So it’s not that you’re incapable of sympathy, it’s that you choose to be bitter towards all women because of the actions of a few.

throwaway
throwaway
8 years ago

That’s the sound of the goalposts shifting. Before, jake said they wouldn’t intervene because “women”. Then they said they wouldn’t intervene because “abusive women of his past”. Now they’re saying they won’t intervene because it would be dangerous for them to do so unless they were going to get something out of the deal.

I know what I’d be getting out of the deal: the rest of my life without the baggage that I let something bad happen to a fellow human being. The ability to look at myself in the mirror each morning knowing I haven’t aided in the destructive savagery that humans are capable of.

But jake prioritizes stickin’ it to the Woman and will bifurcate their reasons whenever they aren’t liking being pinned down to the “wow, what a fucking asshole” category most everyone has pinned him to.

And then to use other people’s pity as a tactic to emotionally manipulate anyone who criticizes you? You know abuse well, jake. Now you’re committing it, or showing that you’re fully capable of doing so, to everyone here. You still have my sympathy though. Coping with lifelong abuse is hard. And it’s even harder to break the cycle. It doesn’t seem that you want to break the cycle yet. Until then I think you should fuck off.

makroth
makroth
8 years ago

@jake

You decided to keep it moving and yet you’re still here. Are you even trying to talk to people here? Or are you just here to spout rhetoric/”woe is me”?

isidore13
isidore13
8 years ago

Who said it was your fault her boyfriend beat her up? And why is it her fault her boyfriend beat her up? Why isn’t it her boyfriend’s fault he beat her up?

Seriously – I’m curious what led you to believe that she somehow selected this guy because she knew he would beat her up. Do you really believe women deliberately select men who are abusive?

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
8 years ago

Yeah, nice victim blaming there, fuckhead.

jake
jake
8 years ago

Correction I said if he was being jumped, I don’t get into one on one affairs. If you feel like you can’t defend yourself with your hands and feet carry a weapon, I always do and it’s open carry in my state. I keep mines concealed so if someone tries something they’ll get a hot surprise.

littleknown
littleknown
8 years ago

Jake — it’s not merely the fact that you didn’t help that people find offensive; there are legitimate reasons not to intervene, primarily a fear for one’s own safety. There are fewer reasons not to report, but I can think of specific instances (e.g., the perpetrator is a powerful crime lord) in which it is understandable.

No, what is offensive is that you seem to revel in the women’s suffering. The way you have written about it, it sounds like you enjoyed it. There is a disturbing “take that” in your description of the event, as if this woman deserves to be beaten because of what other women did to you.

That’s a dark place to live, and I hope you find your way out of it.

katz
8 years ago

I keep mines concealed

That sounds very unsafe.

ramen
ramen
8 years ago

You want to be allowed to ignore people being beaten, okay. And you are!

You want to tell women about that time you ignored a woman being beaten, less obviously okay. Suspicious.

You want to tell us about that time you told women about that time you ignored a woman being beaten… now you’re clearly just trying to piss people off. Or “trolling,” I think that’s what the kids say today.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

My point was actions have reactions whether we think they’re wrong or not, and im not bragging about I see it as my life

You do realize that we wouldn’t even know of this incident if you hadn’t come here to crow about how women aren’t attracted to you, therefore you don’t care if they’re beaten, right?

You right it’s my fault her boyfriend beat her up not hers for making a poor decision in a mate.

Actually, it’s his fault for choosing to commit a violent act, although this statement isn’t helping. Blaming victims of abuse does create the culture that allows abuse to flourish.

This statement is also why you’re not going to get any sympathy from me. You’re gloating over another person being abused even though you claim to be an abuse victim yourself? If you’re lying and just doing this to troll, you can fuck off. If you’re being sincere, you can also fuck off. Lots of people have survived abuse, bullying, sexual assault/rape and manage not to be hateful assholes. You could do it do. But you chose hate. Fuck off.

Axecalibur
Axecalibur
8 years ago
isidore13
isidore13
8 years ago

@Axecalibur, I kinda love you right now. Brilliant.

littleknown
littleknown
8 years ago

@jake: So you’d willingly put yourself at risk when there are multiple dangerous criminals involved, but if it’s a “one-on-one affair”, then you won’t intervene because no one should date someone who can physically overpower them?

katz
8 years ago

@axecalibur

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

Haha. Ninj’d many times. I do want to point out that these were Jake’s initial posts.

This site is a funny, you women all say go your own way which is what I did when I figured out that I wasn’t attractive to women. The other night as im leaving my house I see my neighbor beating the shit out of his wife in the car and do you know what I told myself, go your own way. What’s even funnier is after discussing this with other women they felt that I was just as bad as him for not calling the police or helping. So I told them, women told me to go my own way don’t tell me not to when your in trouble.

Nothing about being an abusive survivor. It’s all about how it’s cool to ignore a woman’s suffering because women aren’t wanting to jump on his dick.

Like I said I don’t care that women want me to go my own way but it’s pretty telling that women still expect mgtow’s to still help them if they’re in trouble, there is a definition for this it’s called entitlement.

And his second post. Put up before the first one had even been taken out of moderation. Just in case we didn’t get it the first time. He wants to make it really clear that the price for being a decent human, if you’re a woman, is fawning over his precious peen.

The abuse tale did not come up until after we mocked him and called him an asshole. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Jake’s motivation for his misogyny is clearly anger over women rejecting him. He’s the same as every other asshole misogynist who has darkened our doors. He only brought up the abuse in order to try and make us feel that we don’t have the right to criticize his misogyny.

Sorry, Jake. No sale.

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