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Gals! Drive away creepy dudes with dirty socks, condoms, and the Pixie Cut of Doom

Hideous lady monster, totally Would Not Bang
Hideous lady monster, totally Would Not Bang

Famously lady hating garbage site Return of Kings has published another one of their helpful posts outlining simple ways that women can drive away the sort of guy who takes dating advice from, well, Return of Kings.

In the post, titled “30 Signs That An Eastern European Girl Isn’t Relationship Material,” regular RoK contributor Jean-Batave Poqueliche provides a handy guide to all sorts of things that RoK Red Pillers see as red flags.

I’ve adapted some of my favorites into my own list of 8 Ways Eastern European Women Can Send Roosh Fanboys Running for the Door. Happily, many of these suggestions should also work for non-Eastern European women as well.

Throw your clothes (and possibly your birth control) on the floor

Poqueliche warns his readers to avoid women who are messy.

If you go to hers and … you discover that she has clothes on the floor and everything is out of place, beware. She is careless and has probably the same behavior towards sex and protection.

Let’s just set aside the irony of seeing this statement on a site run by Roosh V, who, by his own admission, had unprotected sex with multiple women over the course of several years even though he thought there was a good chance he had HIV.

The good news here is that women can scare off a Roosh fanboy by simply throwing some dirty socks on the floor.

Buy a few condoms

Apparently Roosh and his fanboys are more terrified by women who are so loose that they own their own condoms than they are of having sex with a woman they barely know without condoms.

Have friends from other countries

This, according to Poqueliche, is a sign that a women “likes foreign culture, ergo she is partial to a foreign knob that is not designed to be static.”

Wait, penises can generate static electricity? I should have probably read the manual a little more carefully.

Tell your date you prefer poetry to firearms

Poqueliche warns men not to date any woman who’s

repulsed by the idea of violence, manliness, or weapons.

She does not understand that a man could fight for his family, enjoy masculine hobbies or knows how to shoot. She wants a progressive man that reads poetry and is not ashamed to cry.

Do bawdy limericks count?

Learn enough about pickup artistry to know when some dude is trying it on you

Poqueliche tells men to shun any woman who

calls you out for escalating, not by playfully delaying it but putting it in words in the “I know what you are doing” way.

Alternately, you could simply work “player” or “pickup artist” or “you’re one of those creepy jackasses who reads Roosh, aren’t you” into your conversation, as that is also a sign to them that YOU KNOW.

Show your bellybutton

As Poqueliche sees it, this is a big slutty tell, and “generally the mark of an especially childish and irresponsible girl.”

Weirdly, RoK’s graphics-master chose to illustrate Poqueliche’s discussion of this important topic with a picture of a woman baring her belly in such a way that … her bellybutton is not actually visible.

Which raises the question: Do RoK readers actually know what a bellybutton is? Is it possible that Roosh and his readership come from some far-away planet where they reproduce by, I dunno, laying eggs, or cell division, or publishing crappy eBooks?

Be older than 25

RoK readers regularly express deep disdain towards women who make it past the quarter-century mark without snagging a man, declaring them unfit for serious relationships. So you’ve got that going for you.

Unfortunately Roosh and his fanboys are still totally willing to “bang” spinsters in their late 20s and up. Sorry old gals! While they don’t want to marry you, Roosh’s fanboys will still pester you for sex, especially since, as Poqueliche sees it, you decrepit old hags are basically easy pickings with

usually a higher notch count and some kind of a despair for a cock that comes with a prospect of relationship.

Henri here feels a similar despair, though in his case he hungers not for sex but for tuna fish

Oh, wait, is that a can opening?
Oh, wait, is that a can opening?

Cut your hair short

If you’re unable to ward off Roosh’s fanboys using any of the tips above, you can always CUT YOUR HAIR, something so terrifying for Poqueliche that it conjures up images of French villagers shaving the heads of women suspected of being Nazi collaborators in the aftermath of D-day.

No, really. You can practically hear him shudder as he asks

Why would a man want to have sex with something that looks like an underfed woman that got sheared just after the locals found out she slept with the occupying army?

Short hair: apparently the most effective form of creep-repellent after pepper spray.

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Dodom
Dodom
8 years ago

Doing nothing when someone is in immediate danger, if only by calling 9-1-1, is a crime. Not in some ethical metaphor way, it’s literally illegal.

You’re going places, Jake!

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
8 years ago

women can do no wrong

-jake

screencapped and framed

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

Usually MGTOW claim that it’s not misogyny, they just don’t want to marry and have kids.

Not Jake. Jake is proud to not care if women get beaten or murdered in partner violence. Thanks for the honesty, Jake! Next time on of your brothers in going their own way (someday, eventually, no for realz) come here to say we’re mean for calling MGTOW misogynistic, I’ll direct them here.

jake
jake
8 years ago

It is not a crime to not help someone stop making stuff up. Wow so not helping someone makes me as bad if not worse than an abuser or rapist? Can’t say I didn’t that coming.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

You know, a lot of feminists are survivors of rape and abuse by men. Although the vast majority of feminists don’t actually hate men, we get accused of it by MGTOW and MRAs all the time. Even though, by their logic – one woman hurt me, therefore hating women is justified- feminists not only would be justified in hating men, we’d be practically obligated to.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

And Jake has failed to stick to the flounce twice already. Classic!

jake
jake
8 years ago

@weirdwoodtreehugger That may work for you, make sure you tell them why (not your made up reasons).

littleknown
littleknown
8 years ago

jake-logic: Two women hurt me; therefore all women deserve to suffer, to the point that I am justified in not reporting — or attempting to stop in any way — a violent assault in progress.

MGTOW: You couldn’t make this up.

Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
8 years ago

I showed the RoK piece to my partner and I noticed something I had skipped before.

This guy seemed to have a problem with women who speak foreign languages. And they spoke them well.

The whiny part about her English being too good, the Philology in Germany comment. It almost seems like he doesn’t like educated women. Who’d have thunk?

P.S: Not to mean that a person who doesn’t speak a foreign language is uneducated 🙂

jake
jake
8 years ago

It was way more than two women but what’s the point, as we know a women being raped by men is way worse than a boy being beat by his mother fourteen years of his life.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

It’s not a contest Jake, stop deliberately missing the point.

Dr. NicolaLuna, Epic Slut
Dr. NicolaLuna, Epic Slut
8 years ago

How old are you, Jake? And how long has it been since you lived with your mother?

Also, would you have called the police if it was a man being beaten?

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

All right, I have to go my own way to a brewery tour. I’m sure that’s misandry somehow. I’ll leave the rest of you to the chew toy for a bit.

isidore13
isidore13
8 years ago

Sometimes one runs across a MGTOW one really can’t help but feel sorry for. Jake, I hope you find a good therapist you can trust who will guide you away from the hate and anger that’s consuming you, body and soul, right now. Best of luck to you and I hope – sincerely – that you find a way to truly love yourself.

jake
jake
8 years ago

Im 28, left my moms house at 16 because I was tired of the abuse and not having electricity and water. I lived on the street for a few years, slept in abandoned houses and sold drugs to survive because going back to her was not option, hell there was a time I didn’t eat for a week. To be honest after selling drugs and being black, I don’t have good experiences with police so in any situation I wouldn’t call the police but if I seen a man getting jumped I would try to help him.

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
8 years ago

It is not a crime to not help someone stop making stuff up

There is a word for “someone who watches a crime being committed and does not take reasonable actions to end it.” That word is accomplice.

You don’t think there are laws incriminating accomplices?

Your posts are full of straw-men – you aren’t listening to what we’re saying, even though we’re addressing what you’re saying.

I said specifically that we don’t support abuse against anyone, and was backed up by others. Here you are claiming that we do support it.

If you want to have an actual discussion, stop putting words in our mouths.

If you want us to believe the things you’re saying, you have to start believing the things we’re saying.

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
8 years ago

I agree, and thank you, isidore13. Regardless of all of this, you have a lot of hurt in your history, Jake. I really do hope that you can heal and put it behind you.

We’re all just humans, in the end, and we all have the same hurts and fears and hopes. There’s no reason to pass the suffering we feel on to others.

Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
8 years ago

Jake, no one is telling you that the abuse you suffered doesn’t matter or is less important than the abuse a woman suffered. Like weirwoodtreehugger said, it’s not a contest. Also, the faults of a few women aren’t passed on to all other women. The same applies to men.

Saying ”I didn’t get help, so nobody will get my help” is your own choice. Not helping was your choice, you weren’t forced into it by your mother or your therapist.Don’t try to make excuses for your own choices. I do wish you luck in being able to get past the abuse and start seeing that there is another option and you don’t have to shy away from a whole group of people because of the actions of a few.

Yes, it is awful that no one helped you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help others. And if we as human beings didn’t help each other or at least try, the world would become a lot worse for everyone.

Dr. NicolaLuna, Epic Slut
Dr. NicolaLuna, Epic Slut
8 years ago

I’m genuinely sorry you had a crappy start in life. No kid deserves that. But, as has already been said, a lot of people posting here also grew up with abuse.

Some women are assholes, some men are assholes. Some women are great, some men are great. Most people can be both at different times. Deciding that all women are terrible because of the actions of some women to the point where you would walk away from a woman being beaten is just illogical and seriously fucked up.

You’ve managed to survive awful situations, you clearly have it in you to make changes for yourself. I hope in the future you get past the stuff that happened to you and are no longer so toxic and eaten up by resentment.

jake
jake
8 years ago

For what it’s worth I agree with you that we should help each other and it makes me think of a song I used to listen to Landslide by Oh Wonder, it’s a good song and wish the world was like this it just hasn’t been my experience.

Snowberry
Snowberry
8 years ago

Um, actually the laws vary. In some places, it’s not against the law to stand by while someone else is being harmed, so long as you weren’t partially responsible for it happening in the first place. And even when it is, it’s pretty unusual for someone to be arrested for that if they have no personal connection to the person being harmed and no general responsibility for their safety.

That being said, unless interfering, rescuing, or getting help would likely accomplish nothing more than putting both you and the victim in greater danger, you’re a crappy excuse of a human being for not doing something. Regardless of what the laws say.

throwaway
throwaway
8 years ago

I know it’s corny but, well, be the change you want to see in the world. That means not walking on by a crime in progress just because you don’t want to get involved for whatever excuse you have at the moment.

jake
jake
8 years ago

You make it seem like pulled up a chair and started eating popcorn, I just walked by, seen it and made a quick decision to keep it moving. I didn’t get anything out of this despite what some of you think.

isidore13
isidore13
8 years ago

I think it’s because you seem to be bragging about it, Jake. Like you did something to be proud of. Are you really proud of it? Or has it become something else hung around your neck, dragging you down, another weight among many?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

Echoing what Snowberry said about assisting people in danger or reporting crimes. That’s only the case in jurisdictions with so called ‘good samaritan’ laws and/or have the offence of ‘misprision’ or equivalent. In England for instance that only applies to offences against children where the person who doesn’t intervene or call the police has responsibility for the child’s welfare or knowledge of certain terrorism offences.

@ jake

I’m afraid I’m sceptical about your claim regarding the assault you say happened. It’s not that I find such assaults implausible* just that your narrative mirrors the normal MGTOW rhetoric too conveniently. It’s as if someone dropped into a gun control debate and said something like: “they outlawed guns in my town. Then one day some outlaws turned up and we couldn’t stop them shooting everyone”

(*witnessed something very similar myself; did intervene; very glad I did)

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