Famously lady hating garbage site Return of Kings has published another one of their helpful posts outlining simple ways that women can drive away the sort of guy who takes dating advice from, well, Return of Kings.
In the post, titled “30 Signs That An Eastern European Girl Isn’t Relationship Material,” regular RoK contributor Jean-Batave Poqueliche provides a handy guide to all sorts of things that RoK Red Pillers see as red flags.
I’ve adapted some of my favorites into my own list of 8 Ways Eastern European Women Can Send Roosh Fanboys Running for the Door. Happily, many of these suggestions should also work for non-Eastern European women as well.
Throw your clothes (and possibly your birth control) on the floor
Poqueliche warns his readers to avoid women who are messy.
If you go to hers and … you discover that she has clothes on the floor and everything is out of place, beware. She is careless and has probably the same behavior towards sex and protection.
Let’s just set aside the irony of seeing this statement on a site run by Roosh V, who, by his own admission, had unprotected sex with multiple women over the course of several years even though he thought there was a good chance he had HIV.
The good news here is that women can scare off a Roosh fanboy by simply throwing some dirty socks on the floor.
Buy a few condoms
Apparently Roosh and his fanboys are more terrified by women who are so loose that they own their own condoms than they are of having sex with a woman they barely know without condoms.
Have friends from other countries
This, according to Poqueliche, is a sign that a women “likes foreign culture, ergo she is partial to a foreign knob that is not designed to be static.”
Wait, penises can generate static electricity? I should have probably read the manual a little more carefully.
Tell your date you prefer poetry to firearms
Poqueliche warns men not to date any woman who’s
repulsed by the idea of violence, manliness, or weapons.
She does not understand that a man could fight for his family, enjoy masculine hobbies or knows how to shoot. She wants a progressive man that reads poetry and is not ashamed to cry.
Do bawdy limericks count?
Learn enough about pickup artistry to know when some dude is trying it on you
Poqueliche tells men to shun any woman who
calls you out for escalating, not by playfully delaying it but putting it in words in the “I know what you are doing” way.
Alternately, you could simply work “player” or “pickup artist” or “you’re one of those creepy jackasses who reads Roosh, aren’t you” into your conversation, as that is also a sign to them that YOU KNOW.
Show your bellybutton
As Poqueliche sees it, this is a big slutty tell, and “generally the mark of an especially childish and irresponsible girl.”
Weirdly, RoK’s graphics-master chose to illustrate Poqueliche’s discussion of this important topic with a picture of a woman baring her belly in such a way that … her bellybutton is not actually visible.
Which raises the question: Do RoK readers actually know what a bellybutton is? Is it possible that Roosh and his readership come from some far-away planet where they reproduce by, I dunno, laying eggs, or cell division, or publishing crappy eBooks?
Be older than 25
RoK readers regularly express deep disdain towards women who make it past the quarter-century mark without snagging a man, declaring them unfit for serious relationships. So you’ve got that going for you.
Unfortunately Roosh and his fanboys are still totally willing to “bang” spinsters in their late 20s and up. Sorry old gals! While they don’t want to marry you, Roosh’s fanboys will still pester you for sex, especially since, as Poqueliche sees it, you decrepit old hags are basically easy pickings with
usually a higher notch count and some kind of a despair for a cock that comes with a prospect of relationship.
Henri here feels a similar despair, though in his case he hungers not for sex but for tuna fish
Cut your hair short
If you’re unable to ward off Roosh’s fanboys using any of the tips above, you can always CUT YOUR HAIR, something so terrifying for Poqueliche that it conjures up images of French villagers shaving the heads of women suspected of being Nazi collaborators in the aftermath of D-day.
No, really. You can practically hear him shudder as he asks
Why would a man want to have sex with something that looks like an underfed woman that got sheared just after the locals found out she slept with the occupying army?
Short hair: apparently the most effective form of creep-repellent after pepper spray.
@Gert
Remember that during the next funding drive if you’re still around. David takes one for the team every day.
Don’t be silly, Tessa! These dudes are never foreign! That’s reserved only for the scary brown people! Even in a foreign country, these dudes are rightfully considered the standard by which all other humanity is compared to, and falls short of. Other cultures definitely don’t have different standards for normal/ideal people! /sarcasm
@NiOg
So like…
http://pre05.deviantart.net/2f79/th/pre/f/2013/158/7/c/captain_marvel_carol_danvers_by_eisu-d68461h.jpg
?
Captain Marvel is awesome. I wish Kelly Sue DeConnicks run had been allowed to end properly. Bloody crossovers.
@Tessa:
Ah, but see, they’re not the foreign ones in their own minds.
EDIT: Ninja’d by Catalpa. Had to happen eventually!
@varalys
Disney: We’re pushing her movie back. Twice
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/afs/cs.cmu.edu/academic/class/15463-s10/www/proj0/www/fec/hallway.gif
Me:
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs2/1745046_o.gif
“Learn enough about pickup artistry to know when some dude is trying it on you”
Well yeah. if she knows the shit you were trying to pull you never had a chance to begin with. I like the fact that these guys think THEY are the ones rejecting the woman and not the other way around.
Right, MRAs, the reason you haven’t had a relationship or sex in a long, long time is because you are such a catch that it’s only right that your standards be impossible for anyone born on this planet to reach.
No offense to any non-MRA who hasn’t had sex in a long time. I’ve been known to go for years between relationships. But it’s not because I’m a venomous jerk who takes out my frustrations on those who won’t give me a tumble — or even the time of day. I figure that that’s their business, and I might do better with someone else.
Ever notice how these guys never come up with a list of what women could do to be attractive to them? Telling, isn’t it? They’ll never be happy — even for a one-night stand — with anyone. That’s because they’re consumed with hatred and envy.
Also, on a more mundane level, that would be the end of their blog. “Ten things that please me in a woman”? Story over! And MRAs aren’t going to send their money to some guy with that kind of positive attitude toward women. Nope, these MRA bloggers — the Lords of Shit — need to keep shoveling the shit of hatred.
One Sure Sign That a Man Isn’t Relationship* Material
1. He enjoys reading Return of Kings.
* …or fuckbuddy or casual fling or friendship or any human contact you care to mention.
Whoa!
http://www.salon.com/2016/05/11/woody_allen_rape_joke_opens_cannes_french_comedian_burns_allen_with_scathing_roman_polanski_reference/
I wonder if Cassie Jaye made it to this Cannes Film Festival. Or maybe she goes only to the more prestigious one, the one that gave her the “award”?
I know what each of those words means, but somehow I cannot make sense of that sentence.
OT
Bernie Sanders visited the Pine Ridge (South Dakota) Native American reservation today. According to my local listener-sponsored radio station, KPFA, he is the only presidential candidate to ever visit an Indian reservation. Despite that, mainstream media are not covering this story:
PINE RIDGE INDIAN RESERVATION – Calling for “a new relationship with the Native American people,” U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders on Thursday came to this Oglala Lakota reservation to put a spotlight on poverty and to detail proposals to create jobs, raise wages and reduce growing wealth and income inequality in America. . . .
“The reason we are here today is to try to understand what is going on in Pine Ridge and other reservations,” Sanders said. “There are a lot of problems here. Poverty is much too high. There are not enough decent jobs in the area. The health care system is inadequate. And we need to fundamentally change the relationship between the U.S. government and the Native American community.”
The reservation sprawls across three counties that are among the poorest in the United States. Forty-nine percent of residents in Pine Ridge live below the poverty line including 61 percent of those under the age of 18. Per capita annual income is just $6,286. The infant mortality rate on the reservation is five times greater than the national average. Life expectancy is just 48 years for men and 52 for women. The high school dropout rate is 70 percent and the teacher turnover rate is eight times the national average.
http://nativenewsonline.net/currents/bernie-sanders-pine-ridge-reservation-calls-new-relationship-american-indians/
@Axecalibur: Oh for eff’s sake. By the time we get a superhero movie starring a woman as the title character people will probably be sick of the genre and they can blame it being about women for it’s failure or something. Bah.
@Tessa:
@Oogleboggles:
There’s a recurring motif with PUAs: they’re scared of people who might actually want to sleep with them, and attracted to those who don’t want to sleep with them. It’s about power.
David once linked to a lengthy discussion about people’s wrist circumference, which is apparently pivotal to establishing someone’s fuckability. So pivotal that when I read it I realised that I had not the faintest idea about the wrist circumference of either my wife or any of her predecessors.
And now, he tries to make us feel as if the three terms are part of his “real man” ideal. It is a wonder if he has ever been on the wrong side of either violence or weapon (i assume he is speaking about weapons as a tool used to threatening other people. If i am wrong, i apologize).
I think there is more manliness in a man who have no use to violence and/or weapon threats than the opposite. So i can not see how they can be mingled. If someone can explain it to me, i would thank her/him.
@EJ
To be a manchild for a second “My name is not ‘Oogle’, it’s Oogly, Oogly!”
jk.
Back to the topic at hand, I do often notice it’s all about power to them. Be active means scary.
@varalys
That sounds about right…
But yeah, ‘Batman and Robin’ killed the genre in 1997. ‘Blade’ the next year got out the paddles, and by ‘X Men’ in 2000 the whole thing was rehabbed. This train is almost literally unstoppable, until at least Infinity War 2 and maybe another 11 years after that
Besides ‘Captain Marvel’, there’s still ‘Wonder Woman’ in 2017. Then again, with the way the DCEU is going… If it’s a travesty, we can pretend it never happened ala Catwoman or Elektra. ‘Antman and the Wasp’ hits in 2018. That counts at least half, surely
And they’ll mos def blame anything less than complete market dominance on stupid unprofitable feeemales. Not Marvel Studios specifically, cos they seem to ‘get it’, even if Disney marketing doesn’t. But the broader industry? There, we’re looking at a potential shitshow of cosmic proportions
So long as it’s not a terrible film, we should be good. It’s got talented writers, so fingers crossed (speaking of which, director and stars rumored to be announced in the summer. I’m in full squee mode!). It’s the lead in to the finale of the Thanos saga for criminy’s sake. Winter Soldier money, minimum
Sorry for the turquoise moose, had to nerd out 🙂
“a man could fight for his family”. Hmmm. With all that rage, entitlement and creepy glorification of violence going on there, does anyone else think this might be made more accurate by removing the word “for”?
I’d want to be as far away from someone like that as possible, especially if they are determined to show no emotion, express contempt for people they also want to shag, and have guns.
Surprised they left out “has cats”. Our cats are the reason there’s always a sock or two on the floor somewhere, usually wedged into a corner where they’ve harried it until it can escape no further.
@ Me and not You
*waves*!
My mother, c1983: Well, at least you don’t look like a feminist, with your long hair.
Me: Shhh, I’m undercover.
@ Dam of Lances
Hello! Welcome. Yes it is.
Wow, first it’s Asian women out, now it’s Eastern European women. Excellent. The pond is getting smaller and smaller. Also WTF kind of name is Jean-Batave Poqueliche?
Google says: “Jean-Batave Poqueliche is a martial artist from the viking stronghold of Normandy, France. He travels the world looking for new fighting …”
SUPER ROFLOL.
This is a Batave:
http://www.dbnl.org/tekst/_onz016onze01_01/_onz016onze01ill05.gif
Well, *I* for one am quaking in my boots….
Also, the most famous Batave who survived up to this day is not this dude, but the adorable Flipje Tiel:
http://plaatjessite.mine.nu/flipjetiel/flip017.gif
I laughed so hard at all of those. Now, I cover a lot of the 30 signs, but I think that even the short hair would have been enough (I could mention the tattoos, it would be even better). I’ll know what to do if one of these lovely gentlemen ever came to Bulgaria and tried to hit on me.
But really, what a bunch of crybabies. Waaaah, she doesn’t do exactly what I want to do on the date! Waaaah, she doesn’t look exactly the way I want her to look! Waaaaah, she hasn’t been living in a remote village her entire liiiiiife!
I’m amazed how Jean-Batave Poqueliche can have such high standards, while he doesn’t even have the bare minimum of a tolerable personality.
I bid you good day, sir!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/72dfdaeb0cf8ddda1e4dc70365fbb181/tumblr_nmiklstmjS1sg9amyo1_1280.jpg
Completely unrelated but awesome/hilarious: Apparently, the new WWI Battlefield game stars a Harlem Hellfighter and a badass Bedouin woman. The MRAcists are, predictably, throwing a fit.
I’m not the biggest fan of military shooters, but anything that pisses off #GG is all good with me. =P
@SFHC – The comment section on that article’s fun.
SFCH & Mockingbird:
The common theme I see in the comment section over there is “Any deviation from the straight white male character is pandering! Pandering pandering pandering! Put a straight white male on the cover and pander to meeee!”
http://i.imgur.com/1NT9xf1.jpg
Would not bang!
#lyingthroughmyteeth
http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/0/4/324840-street_fighter_blanka.jpg
Blanka rhymes with…