Famously lady hating garbage site Return of Kings has published another one of their helpful posts outlining simple ways that women can drive away the sort of guy who takes dating advice from, well, Return of Kings.
In the post, titled “30 Signs That An Eastern European Girl Isn’t Relationship Material,” regular RoK contributor Jean-Batave Poqueliche provides a handy guide to all sorts of things that RoK Red Pillers see as red flags.
I’ve adapted some of my favorites into my own list of 8 Ways Eastern European Women Can Send Roosh Fanboys Running for the Door. Happily, many of these suggestions should also work for non-Eastern European women as well.
Throw your clothes (and possibly your birth control) on the floor
Poqueliche warns his readers to avoid women who are messy.
If you go to hers and … you discover that she has clothes on the floor and everything is out of place, beware. She is careless and has probably the same behavior towards sex and protection.
Let’s just set aside the irony of seeing this statement on a site run by Roosh V, who, by his own admission, had unprotected sex with multiple women over the course of several years even though he thought there was a good chance he had HIV.
The good news here is that women can scare off a Roosh fanboy by simply throwing some dirty socks on the floor.
Buy a few condoms
Apparently Roosh and his fanboys are more terrified by women who are so loose that they own their own condoms than they are of having sex with a woman they barely know without condoms.
Have friends from other countries
This, according to Poqueliche, is a sign that a women “likes foreign culture, ergo she is partial to a foreign knob that is not designed to be static.”
Wait, penises can generate static electricity? I should have probably read the manual a little more carefully.
Tell your date you prefer poetry to firearms
Poqueliche warns men not to date any woman who’s
repulsed by the idea of violence, manliness, or weapons.
She does not understand that a man could fight for his family, enjoy masculine hobbies or knows how to shoot. She wants a progressive man that reads poetry and is not ashamed to cry.
Do bawdy limericks count?
Learn enough about pickup artistry to know when some dude is trying it on you
Poqueliche tells men to shun any woman who
calls you out for escalating, not by playfully delaying it but putting it in words in the “I know what you are doing” way.
Alternately, you could simply work “player” or “pickup artist” or “you’re one of those creepy jackasses who reads Roosh, aren’t you” into your conversation, as that is also a sign to them that YOU KNOW.
Show your bellybutton
As Poqueliche sees it, this is a big slutty tell, and “generally the mark of an especially childish and irresponsible girl.”
Weirdly, RoK’s graphics-master chose to illustrate Poqueliche’s discussion of this important topic with a picture of a woman baring her belly in such a way that … her bellybutton is not actually visible.
Which raises the question: Do RoK readers actually know what a bellybutton is? Is it possible that Roosh and his readership come from some far-away planet where they reproduce by, I dunno, laying eggs, or cell division, or publishing crappy eBooks?
Be older than 25
RoK readers regularly express deep disdain towards women who make it past the quarter-century mark without snagging a man, declaring them unfit for serious relationships. So you’ve got that going for you.
Unfortunately Roosh and his fanboys are still totally willing to “bang” spinsters in their late 20s and up. Sorry old gals! While they don’t want to marry you, Roosh’s fanboys will still pester you for sex, especially since, as Poqueliche sees it, you decrepit old hags are basically easy pickings with
usually a higher notch count and some kind of a despair for a cock that comes with a prospect of relationship.
Henri here feels a similar despair, though in his case he hungers not for sex but for tuna fish
Cut your hair short
If you’re unable to ward off Roosh’s fanboys using any of the tips above, you can always CUT YOUR HAIR, something so terrifying for Poqueliche that it conjures up images of French villagers shaving the heads of women suspected of being Nazi collaborators in the aftermath of D-day.
No, really. You can practically hear him shudder as he asks
Why would a man want to have sex with something that looks like an underfed woman that got sheared just after the locals found out she slept with the occupying army?
Short hair: apparently the most effective form of creep-repellent after pepper spray.
Kat, it’s not any different than the average woman-hating fuckweasel. They claim to be going their own way, but hold the option to claim that the meaning of MGTOW can be changed whenever they feel like it. Today it’s ”going away from all the icky females”. Tomorrow, if they get angry at women in general, it can change to ”constantly going on and on about how icky females are”. MGTOW is just a really nice excuse to say ”nuh-uh, we’re not like THOSE people”, but act the same as Those people.
@Scildfreja
Wow! I learned something new.
I’m good at all those things, so I’m gonna assume that my hormones are in great shape!
@ kat
Or maybe you just think you did. 🙂
Jake, Jake, Jake: You are on the world wide web.
You are not interacting with us face-to-face.
Therefore your threat — although revealing of your character and cause for banning — lacks credibility.
@Alan Robertshaw
Too early in the morning in the US of A for games that involve much use of the brain. 🙂
The world’s (newest) oldest woman has advice about longevity:
And here’s something the doctor might not prescribe, but it seems to have worked out for [Emma] Morano. Last year, she told The New York Times that she credits her longevity to being single since ending an unhappy marriage at age 38.
“I didn’t want to be dominated by anyone,” she explained.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/worlds-oldest-woman-said-secret-to-long-life-is-staying-single_us_5735eb09e4b060aa781a1429
Katie, bar the door — a woman goes her own way (before women generally did such things)!
I think sometimes when trolls lose the argument and fail to phase us, they say things that will get themselves banned. That way, they can leave and still save face.
@Robert, I didn’t know that thing about Encyclopedia Dramatica. You’re probably exactly right. Thanks.
@Jake, I don’t think you actually intend to be physically violent towards women. I think you’ve just said what you said because you’re a misogynist, and the idea of hurting or scaring women with your words seems funny to you. But just in case you ever actually do commit violence: it won’t be because you’re “out of control,” taken over by some fire you can’t stop that exists separate from you. It won’t because women provoked you. It will be because you’ve chosen to be violent. You.Own your own decisions.
I’m in favour of banning, because even laughably ineffectual death threats are still death threats.
@other Jake
Going by that logic, we can’t celebrate anybody who invented/discovered/did anything. Who cares about Neil Armstrong, somebody else would’ve walked on the moon! Forget Einstein, somebody else would’ve come up with the theory of relativity!
I dunno why the others aren’t giving you the side-eye, but I am.
@Jake,
Sigh.
Jake, intimidation over the internet is silly. Even if you mean it, I’m not intimidated.
The fact that you went right to threats of violence does say a lot about you, though. It would suggest that you’re swimming in stress hormones – to think that an anonymous threat over the internet would do anything only makes sense if lashing out is a go-to answer. That’s part of what stress hormones can do, depending on circumstances.
You are angry at your situation in life, at yourself and the world around you. You need to turn that anger off, face it down, reduce it. It’s not something to “fuel your fire”, it’s something that’s going to consume you. Those hormones (most likely normalized to those levels) are going to inflame your arteries, constrict your heart, and send you to hypertension and heart attacks as you proceed through a life of bad decisions informed by inappropriate displays of aggression against threats that aren’t there.
Please, if you don’t take up EJ’s offer, find someone somewhere that you can talk to about this stuff without the masculine aggression displays. I wasn’t joking in the poem – you are causing this to yourself, and you are the only one who can stop it.
Good luck.
Did I hit a nerve, you people or pathetic you talk shit then we I talk shit back you want to ban me. If you can’t take the heat stay out the kitchen, something you women should be good at now lol.
You could say the same about the vast majority of inventions, yet when a man invents them he is given full credit. The point wasn’t that we never would have had programmable computers (though it’s impossible to know whether or when it would have happened in this alternate history), but that women are not useless and they contribute good work that is often overlooked. And to be honest, often discredited as “anyone could have done that,” which is exactly what you’re doing right now.
re: Ada Lovelace! <3
http://gudmagazine.com/images/previews/issue5/lovelace-preview.jpg
Any suggestion that "We would still have programming without Ada Lovelace" is speculation, and if you would like to present this as more than a personal opinion I would like to see some support for it! It's not an unreasonable speculation, but that isn’t enough to convince me, I’m afraid.
http://sydneypadua.com/2dgoggles/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/aldpost1.jpg
Mostly because she’s awesome, and I would be sad if she were no longer the patron saint of programming. (Grace Hopper is just as awesome! What an amazing woman!)
Women spent decades or longer as computers doing the dull labour of calculating and punching punch cards and whatnot, the nuts-and-bolts of computation that is so important and so overlooked, even today. Not suggesting that you’re erasing that, Jake, but I think that preventing that erasure is more than a good enough reason to maintain Ada’s influence over the field of programming.
(comics provided by the always-delightful Sydney Padua, in The Thrilling Adventures of Lovelace and Babbage. The Lovelace from that comic is my head-canon. What if Lovelace didn’t die young, and Babbage built the difference engine, and they used it to fight crime in London? 😮 Excitement! Adventure! The world was robbed I tells you.)
@Kat, I’m sure your brain juices are absolutely lovely and just-right. That is not a small feat! You must treat your brain very well, and it sounds like it treats you very well too! You should give it a little reward for being so nice. Something tasty and full of unsaturated fats, maybe.
@jake
You’re the one in our kitchen. Now stop being useless and make us all sammiches or GTFO.
@jake, the request for banning wasn’t us not liking the heat in the kitchen, because it’s our kitchen. It’s not us disliking the heat, it’s you being thrown out of our house.
As the one that was threatened by him (At least, that’s how I read the threat), I don’t feel threatened, so will leave it to David to decide whether he ought to be banned to preserve the mood of the blog. If you want to stay, jake, how about supplying something interesting?
As for the suggestion that jake’s a troll from ED or 4chan, I’ve always assumed that he was a troll coming in here for the luls from somewhere like that. What the trolls don’t ever seem to realize is that their lies always contain their real emotions, whether they admit them or not. That’s why I usually like to engage them face-on and take them at their word. The story’s fabricated, but the emotions are real.
@kupo, i would make everyone sammiches. I love hosting people. If you come to my house i will make you all cream cheese melba toasts, studded with apricot and raspberry and sprinkled with chunks of honeycomb and sea salt, and drizzled with raw honey. Nh, those things are so dang good. @Kat, that is what your brain deserves for being a good brain.
Jake,
I think you have that backwards, hun. You’re the one having an angry meltdown while we’re all perfectly calm. It’s okay. Have a nap and look at some pictures of pretty and soothing lakes and maybe you’ll be more rational.
@Scildfreja
Those are some sammiches! I’ll definitely make myself and my brain something delicious.
I’m very proud of my brain right now!
I disagree that our troll is showing anything about his real self, other than being a crappy person. It’s more likely he’s just following a script of sorts. Stage 1- say something outrageous. Stage 2 is to spin his sob stories to give the targets emotional whiplash. Stage 3 is when he gets bored or people stop biting, the escalate until he gets banned so he can claim we couldn’t take it.
@ pitshade
I think there’s a sort of step 2(a) in there.
Wait until people call you out, then say you’re a woman and/or black.
It does seem at times there’s an MRA playbook though doesn’t it?
@ jake
Well women having options other than being in the kitchen is one of the aims of feminism; so kudos for acknowledging the success of feminism in that regard.
Sydney Padua <3
Oh, I agree that he’s following a script, @pitshade. The question is why he’s following the script.
The brain organizes (as far as I can tell) into frames, which are a lot like scripts in which the actors and specifics are interchangeable, but the basic themes and story stays the same. Kind of like going to a restaurant, that’s a frame too. You know the story: you get seated/choose your own seat, you order from a server who comes to your table/waits at the counter, (possibly pay immediately on ordering), you get your food, you eat, (pay if not already paid), you leave. That’s a frame.
Interacting with a forum is also a frame, or a set of frames.
Why’d he choose that frame? That is the interesting question. I’d suggest that it’s a way for them to express their feelings without actually revealing them, as a shot-in-the-dark. They get to voice their anger and fear and outrage without actually talking about the things that make them angry, fearful, and scared.
Feel free to chime in, @jake, if you’d like to switch frames.
@ scildfreja
I think for a lot of our younger MRA types it’s the case that women are a bit of a mystery so, as is often the case with the unknown, they find women scary PLUS there’s an envy angle in that they see women being successful and happy (unlike themselves) so they hate them.
We know from history what usually results from a combination of fear and hatred towards a group.
Hence that paradoxical thing of regarding the target group as simultaneously weak and stupid but also powerful and devious.
Then you set out to abuse and hurt that group but only from a position of safety; whether that be through anonymity or , if there’s a physical presence, when you have them at a disadvantage.
@Scildfreja
Your sammiches sound delicious. 🙂
I’m wearing my Ada Lovelace pendant today because she rocks.