Fellas! I don’t know if you know this, but we’re living in an, um, let me be sure I have this right, a “totalitarian regime dictatorship of forcing social justice and politically correctness.”
That might seem a little bit farfetched, at least to you blue pill people. But I read about this dire new development in the Kotaku In Action subreddit — where Reddit’s GamerGaters mostly hang out — so it must be true.
The post linked to INCONTROVERTIBLE PROOF of this terrible SJW totalitarian regime dictatorship: a picture of some dude holding up a parody of a “I need feminism because … ” sign designed to show just what mean, mean meanies those feminists really are.
I’m pretty sure that every red-blooded heterosexual man knows just what he’s getting at here!
I mean, if some hot babe walks by me, and I, as a thoughtful and considerate man, offer her a nice compliment on her appearance by, say, yelling out “hey, titty girl, show me your titties” while making kissy sounds with my mouth, the feminists are all like, “why the hell did you do that, what’s wrong with you, you living piece of crap.”
You see how they get you with the guilt?
BUT, ok, so some other babe walks by, and maybe she’s not really my type, and I think to myself, well, I’m not going to make the mistake of complimenting her on her titties and get yelled at, especially since her titties are nothing to write home about.
But, you know, I don’t want to be rude and simply ignore her, so I yell out “woah, what’s wrong with your saggy-ass titties, you should get a doctor to look at those cuz I sure don’t want to!”
And so maybe I’ve just saved her life from the breast cancer. But do I get any thanks for it? No.
HEY SJW’S GEORGE ORWELL WOULD BE PROUD OF YOU.
NOTE: This post contains
Guess what geniuses, objectification doesn’t require you to find someone attractive, it merely reflects the reduction of someone’s status to an object.
It can be observed when men aggressively berate a woman for not showing interest in them, if that woman in question is considered by that man to be so un-hot, that they don’t have any right to turn him down.
Men can easily still feel that women have to cater to their demands socially and interpersonally, no matter what any individual woman looks like.
Ok everyone, you’re getting it all wrong! Of COURSE women dress and wear makeup for the sole purpose of attracting men! And YES all women love compliments about their looks, ESPECIALLY if it’s “Show us yer tits!” and “WHOOO-EEE would I love to get a piece of that ass!”
Women need to start being honest about the fact that they truly love being treated like a sexual-services-on-demand machine, and that everything they do in life from cradle to grave is for male attention and to be attractive to men.
*This has been a message sponsored by: SARCASM, and brought to you by…Katie.
So a dude who categorizes every woman he meets as ‘hot or not’ is wondering why he gets criticized for objectifying women and being shallow?
Someone needs to teach him how cause and effect work.
Ooh, look. A KiA post that has nothing to do with Kotaku, games, journalism, games journalism, or the of ethics of the aforementioned. Oh, but I’m sure that’s a rare occurrence
You don’t only care about looks. And yet, people discussing how you, and those like you, discuss looks is so oppressive as to be considered dictatorial. Not really proving your case, buddy
@Nick
This… this went well
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/grreat.gif
@Moocow
Causality is a marxist feminist conspiracy to force innocent men into being under peril of retroactive false rape allegations.
Even though I’m a woman, I don’t ordinarily compliment a woman on her looks unless I know her well. It can be a touchy subject! I might say that a color she’s wearing is pretty or some such. I don’t usually say much beyond that.
The exception to my own rule is when a woman tells me she’s happily pregnant. Then I tell her she looks great. And she always does.
I think it’s less about how exactly you phrase it (“hey sugar-tits” could conceivably be a compliment, in the context of a certain established relationship) and more about whether you care about the effect on the recipient.
Expressing your (even favorable) opinion about someone is not the same a giving them a compliment. A compliment is supposed to be about making the recipient feel good. If your focus isn’t on that, you’re not giving a compliment, you’re just waving your opinion around.
If your feelings are more important to you than the feelings of the person you’re “complimenting”, then you’re simply not giving a compliment. Rather, you’re using them as a prop to make yourself feel good. That’s literal objectification; viewing someone as a means to an end, instead of as a human being with feelings and worth.
As a result, sometimes the best way to compliment someone is to simply recognize that they’re not into it and to silently communicate: “I respect you enough to keep my opinions to myself.”
Not being able to harass strangers is OPPRESSION
@Lukas Xavier
You summed it up so well!
Sometimes a “compliment” is actually a power trip.
If your focus isn’t on making the other person feel good, you’re just waving your “opinion” around.
I’ll compliment my wife on her looks. And I’ll say to my sister-in-law that she looks great when she’s spent hours prepping for some special event, because I know she’ll appreciate it. Other than that, NO. Even if you’re interested in someone, it’s not a good idea to start off with random compliments on looks. Hell, even if it’s in a club/pickup environment it’s just unnecessary. If you’re trying to get laid with someone, it’s implied that you at least don’t mind their looks.
I remember being out with a (female) friend once, and she got a compliment from a random guy saying “you have a beautiful face”. The rest of the night, and the next day, she was bothered by this comment because 1) she didn’t want people to focus on her looks, and 2) she thought it implied the rest of her body wasn’t any good. It’s just a fact that you never know how those compliments will land with the recipient, so keep the bonerfeelz to yourself.
Also, this video might be relevant. It’s long, but I loved it.
Flughed Flones,
I understand your frustration. But I can’t do this blog without ads, alas, and the state of the online ad business at the moment is such that it’s hard to avoid problematic ads. The ad networks I use are two of the same ones used by most of the big (new) media sites. I tried another one but had to shut it down almost immediately because the ads were all too sleazy. And I’ve avoided ad networks with ads that are more disruptive.
With adsense, I’ve blocked the ad categories that cause the most trouble (dating, weight loss, a few others) but sometimes crappy ads get through. With taboola ads, I can block specific words and phrases, and I keep adding new ones to the pile. If people let me know about problematic ads — and send along the wording of the ads — I can block them and possibly other similar ones in the future. I block the sleazy ones I see but I don’t see them all.
If anyone has any advice on other ad networks worth looking into, let me know.
Ugh, really? They can still find women attractive, but yelling”HEY, NICE TITS, COME SIT ON MY FACE” at full volume in a busy street is not really a civilised way to show how much you like that woman.
I had a friend comment on my breasts one time. Well, it was more like every one time every 2-3 minutes , but who’s counting. After the 15th time he was staring at my chest and going ”Mmmm, titties” I asked him politely to stop, because it was bothering me. And instead of being a decent human being who would stop making me feel uncomfortable, he spent 30 minutes trying to convince me why I shouldn’t be uncomfortable and that I wasn’t really uncomfortable, that I actually liked his comments. When I lost my temper and told him to fuck off, he acted like these chucklefucks and went all ”Woah, you are really aggressive, why? You must be on your period.”
Truly, men are oppressed by us evil women because we asked them to not do something that bothered us. I don’t think even kindergarteners would throw such a fit if you told one of them to stop pinching you, because you didn’t like it.
There are times when common phrases used by MRAs can be used, but:
… there is only one time that “nice rack” should be used and that is if you are an inquisitor complementing another inquisitor;
… similarly a bird feeder that is frequented Parus major is the only reason to shout “Great Tits;”
… informing a baker of an error in the bread making allows you to say “tight buns;”
In short, if you have to explain to someone that “it’s a compliment!”, and it’s not in the context of translating a document from a language they’re unfamiliar with (“what does ‘is toigh leam do brèid’ mean?”), you might want to stop and think about what you’re doing.
I want to ask for advice on something loosely related to this thread. I know, I ask for advice very often. Sorry. :/
What’s the proper way to deal with comments on your looks when you’re a teacher and the person making the comment is a student? In my case, I present as male and the students are women. (This is not meant to be a brag post, because fuck knows this does not happen to me very often.)
At my volunteer work last week, I was helping a high school student (probably 17-18 years old) with her homework. After we were done she said I have a very beautiful nose, and that she had been looking at it all day. (I feel like I should put in a ton of disclaimers here. Age of consent is 15. I’m not actually a paid teacher who can decide her grades. I don’t actually think she’s flirting with me. She’s way too young for me to have any romantic or sexual interest in her. I’m also happily married and monogamous. Etc.)
I’ve had some other jokey flirty comments made at me as a teacher before. For example, I remember a female student asking if I was married. I said yes, and then she said “dammit” and everybody laughed. Not a serious comment, I’m sure, but what’s the best way to deal with this sort of thing?
These things don’t offend me, since it’s not something that happens all the time, and the situations have never felt remotely threatening or creepy. But on a professional level I worry that it will come across as if I’m inviting such comments if I just say “well, thanks”.
I’d love to hear some advice on this. How should I act if this were to ever happen again?
@IP
I’ve found that this works like a charm:
Laugh (so you’re acknowledging the other person).
Say in a kind, light tone, “Moving on . . .” (so you’re moving on).
Then don’t look back.
@David Futrelle
I just wanted to point out that the TrendyW website is not bad, from what I’ve seen. (I usually hate, hate, hate the “Around the Web” type of websites.) I’ve read a few of their articles. Their first language is clearly not English but they have a nice tone.
Not that I’ve ever been in that position, but I think I’d be tempted to use a good natured *roll eyes* type response.
Eg – *roll eyes* – “yes, very nice, but keep the flirting for your friends” or similar.
@Lukas Xavier – as Kat said already, that is ELOQUENT. Thanks for expressing the point so beautifully 🙂
A Big Bang Theory rerun was on in the background while we were about to have dinner last. The topic was a magazine article about sexy scientists that Bernadette was going to be in. Amy objected it, pointing out that such a story would not be written about male scientists. Bernadette’s response was something along the lines of “no one wants to see that!” I have to imagine that episode was written by a man because it’s hard to imagine that line of reasoning coming from a woman. Objectification is so pervasive that even straight female characters on sitcoms engage in it. It’s like men know intellectually that many women find men sexually attractive, but they can’t truly conceive of it. That’s how ingrained it is in our culture that women are the sexual class.
It really is a good test to differentiate attraction to versus objectification of women to gender flip. If you see a photo of a woman on all fours in short shorts and a cropped top with her back arched, butt in the air and her mouth opened, that would be pretty humorous if it was a man. Not sexy.
It works for things people say too. If a compliment you want to give is something you wouldn’t say to a man, it’s not a compliment, it’s objectification.
Mr Bluecat and I compliment each other on looks from time to time. I have a couple of friends whose photos on Facebook I have occasionally written stuff like “looking good!” on, too.
As Mr B and I are both somewhat bi we sometimes comment to each other that such and such an actor is fanciable, usually when watching a DVD together (we agree about Idris Elba and Helen Mirren, we disagree about Robert Webb…)
And… er… that’s it!
Nobody else in the universe knows whether or not we find them attractive.
Because how would they?
@weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
When I saw that episode it brought to mind seeing “Hottest women in music” awards/features/articles, from outlets that never promote the bands albums or tours, but can suddenly remember them for things other than musical talent or their contributions to their respective genres.
The point in the show about male scientists should really have been about the fact that male scientists are widely represented in those publications anyway, the question then being, would those “sexy” women scientists be profiled at any other point in time, for their actual work.
Why does being sexy determine which women will/won’t get the opportunity to raise their professional profile.
Even if they did a piece on sexy male scientists, it wouldn’t matter anyway because this wouldn’t be creating a two-tiered system, where sexy men are more valued and take the rare opportunities away from other men, not so blessed in the looks department.
I was told by a troll that there should be more rape to make feminist statistics real.
“So I have encouraged rape to make statistics true on behalf of the feminist bullshit movement.” I’ve blocked them now, but like, WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE HELL?
@numerobis – D’oh, that’s my problem. I wasn’t thinking scientifically . 🙂
@Imaginary Petal – For a comment like the nose comment, I’d probably say something joking that wouldn’t hurt their feelings, like, “Thanks, I worked hard on it!” (of course it would depend on tone and context) and for the comment in class, it probably doesn’t need a response (laugh and move on, as Kat said).
Okay, I admit the nose comment struck me as funny! But I understand the concern, especially around minors. Two of my in-person tutoring students are teenage boys, and I’m careful not to say things that might sound inappropriate. Not that I’d try to flirt with my adult students either, that’s not what they’re there for, but I mean I’m more careful in my language (not calling attention to their appearance or mine, not using “swear” words, etc.).
I love how these guys completely forget that there are people out there who are attracted to women and manage to find some of them attractive (and some of them not so attractive) WITHOUT getting villified by these evil evil feminists!
Because guess what, I can feel an attraction to a woman and not act like a douchebag about it and/or expect them to immediatly drop their panties and offer me sex! (I know, it must be a difficult concept for them.)
If I walk along a street and see an attractive woman, I think to myself ‘golly gee, she sure is pretty’ and keep going. If I walk along a street and see a woman that I personally don’t find attractive, I think to myself ‘golly gee, she sure is not my type’ and keep going.
Not that difficult, is it?
And why the heck is it so difficult to understand that ‘hey sugar tits nice rack you have there’ is not a good compliment? If you absolutely have to focus on her looks because you’re just that dazzled, why not go with a simple ‘hey, I like your eyes/hair/smile’?
Why act like a douche and then pretend you’re the victim if someone tells you off? Ugh.