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A Voice for Men: Don’t blame us for patriarchy, ladies; you voted for it!

Women: Even their votes are bigger than men's
Women: Even their votes are bigger than men’s

Over on the technically still alive Men’s Rights hate site A Voice for Men, our old friend August Løvenskiolds deposits a piece of “political analysis” that is so completely contrary to fact and logic and basic historical understanding that we might call it a Wrongness Onion — no matter how many layers of wrongness you pull off of it, there are still more layers lurking underneath.

Also, it stinks, and might make you cry, though mostly out of embarrassment for Mr. Løvenskiolds, also known in these parts as McLøvenskiolds.

Near the beginning of a post titled “How will Nominee Trump pander to women?” but which in fact argues that “Nominee Trump” won’t “pander to women,” McLøvenskiolds drops this onion:

Women are 52% of voters, and so technically women control the outcome of all elections in ways that men do not: should women desire it, no man could ever win elective office.

In Imaginary Hypothetical Land, I suppose. In the real world, even though women do make up the majority of voters — both because women slightly outnumber men in the US, and because women are more likely to vote — women don’t vote, and never have voted, as a bloc. Neither do any other large demographic groups.

Also, as is clear to any political observer who does not have their head up their posterior, there is a lot more  to politics than the gender ratio of voters. Women may slightly outnumber men, but the overall power structure, in the US and around the world, is heavily dominated by men, Men control the party apparatus of both major parties in the US; wealthy men (and groups of mostly men) skew election results by pumping money into the system to cover ads and other expenses.

I could go on and on about this one sentence from McLøvenskiolds, but like I said, this thing is an onion.

And we haven’t even gotten to the best bit. Let’s continue:

Men cannot control elections in the same way because men as a class are not the majority of voters.

Men “are not the majority of voters” in part because individual men are less likely to vote than women. If men started voting in higher proportion than women, they could easily become the majority of voters.

Also, all the stuff I said above. Political life in the US is so heavily dominated by men that men can opt out of voting and still expect men as a class to get more than their fair share of power.

So far, so bad. But it’s at this point that McLøvenskiolds sets forth his most, well, unique perspective on human history:

That’s right, feminists: your alleged “patriarchy” was created and maintained by the female electorate. Everything elected officials do is the responsibility of women as a class, not men. It is all YOUR fault, not men.

Er, dude, the patriarchy has been around for literally thousands of years. Historian Gerda Lerner’s celebrated The Creation of Patriarchy argues that the mixture of legal subordination and lopsided social power that we now call patriarchy developed “over a period of nearly 2500 years, from app. 3100 to 600 b.c.”

Women in the US got the vote less than a hundred years ago. They only became the majority of voters in presidential elections in the US in 1980.

Yes, women were involved in the creation of patriarchy — as Lerner notes, elite women benefitted from it in various ways, thought obviously less than their male counterparts — but unless there was some gigantic rift in space-time that sent modern American women back to the ancient Near East that I’ve never heard about, women didn’t vote patriarchy in.

Demonstrating an understanding of politics as keen as his understanding of history, McLøvenskiolds goes on to suggest that Trump might get a bump in the polls if he were to pick Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg as his veep.

She is a  successful author and businessperson like Trump himself; Trump and the recently widowed Sandberg would make a formidable pair that would make progressives like [nickname of college student currently being harassed by MRAs and other terrible people deleted by DF] fling her toddler arms so fiercely they would surely fly off her well-marbled torso.

And that whole “widow” thing puts her over the top!

Asking a recent widow to be his running mate would strike a chord of sympathy with women that would ring on for months. It would be a masterstroke worthy of The Donald.

Never mind that Sandberg is a feminist and a longtime donor to Democratic causes who supports Hillary Clinton.

Also, Trump would probably have to apologize for this:

You see what I mean by that Wrongness Onion thing?

EDITED TO ADD:

Here’s how AVFM teased McL’s post on its main page:

How will Nominee Trump pander to women?  Winning an election means winning the votes of women. August Løvenskiolds explores how to concur the votes of the leisure class.

Concur? Do they mean “conquer?”

And, no, AVFMers, women are only “the leisure class” in your delusional minds.

Who the hell “edits” these things?

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Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Policy of Madness
When it comes to describing single women and single men as “alone,” I’m an equal opportunity offender.

That said, I never mean that they’re tragically alone. Unless they are on a deserted island or in a cave — that’s no good.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

When it comes to describing single women and single men as “alone,” I’m an equal opportunity offender.

Most people do not, so by being “equal opportunity” you are contributing to this misogynist narrative, in the same way that “race neutral” people contribute to structural racism.

How about we describe nobody as “alone” solely for reason of not having a romantic partner?

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

Hillary’s VP will definitely be Cory Booker, right?

pitshade
pitshade
5 years ago
Axecalibur
Axecalibur
5 years ago

@IP
More likely Julian Castro, right? The establishment likes him and the DNC seems to be grooming him for bigger things
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5jx3m7jk1CY
They gave Obama that same speech spot in 04. He likeable, younger than Booker, and… I mean… just look at him. Is he allergic to not smiling? If ya got it, flaunt it, but like dayum…
comment image
Her Black numbers are better than her Latin support, so Julian helps there. Castro is from the South, Texas specifically. A NYNJ ticket, according to conventional wisdom, just ain’t as strong, and making a big stand in TX and AZ is important for flipping those states later. Also Booker, as a Senator, is gonna have baggage that a relative unknown like Castro won’t. The name could be an issue, but if Trump attacks him on it, that’s another major gaffe to use as a ‘Trump hates Hispanics’ redirect. And let’s face it, Trump will more than likely mention it, he can’t help himself

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

@Axecalibur

You make a strong case.

Moocow
5 years ago

@pitshade

Like someone’s annoying habit, I never really noticed the extent to which the media pushes ‘women are all about marriage’ until you pointed it out.

It’s freakin everywhere. Even the wedding itself is called ‘her big day’. Girls are taught that getting married will be the ‘best day of their life’.

In a related note, the more I’ve learn of feminism and portrayal of women in the media, the more uncomfortable I get watching a show where the female characters are so obviously designed according to how a man thinks (or wants) women to act.

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
5 years ago

Pitshade,

I noticed in the comments that the women agreed and a lot of the men were disagreeing. Because they know how women feel better, I guess.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

EJ:

As an aside to my fellow Londoners: Khan won. It was great. Despite all the racist shit that was thrown at him from every quarter, he won and we now have our first Muslim mayor.

And now various Tories have expressed disgust with Goldsmith’s racist campaign. Seems their disgust was so extreme that it rendered them speechless on the matter until after the election.

Dunno whether this has any connection with the election, but I walked past the Israeli ambassador’s pad on Thursday, and there were three cops on the pavement outside with submachine guns. Normally they’re a bit more discreet than that. Maybe they heard Ken Livingstone was in the area.

Axecalibur
Axecalibur
5 years ago

@IP
Well, thx

@Brits
Speaking of elections, and since Khan and Brexit were mentioned upthread, are they related. That is, does Khan mean anything Brexitwise. Like, does his win speak to which way the country (countries?) might go, or is it more limited in predictive power? Just curious…

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

@pitshade/WWTH: Of course the men would insist that the wimmens are happy! They’re married to them!

If the wimmens aren’t happy being married to them, then that means that the menz are doing a bad job, and menz are awesome at everything they do, and can never be bad husbands! Surely the wimmens are just upset they haven’t had their daily allotment of bon-bons. [/sarcasm]

Seriously though, I wouldn’t put it past quite a few men to immediately hand-wave a woman’s feelings on something, despite women telling them the truth.

Hell, that’s happened here with Glenn and Richard in the two threads they lurked in. Glenn insisted that his pick-up strategy wasn’t creepy or not-okay at all, despite just about every woman regular here telling him otherwise, and Richard was going off in the Sargon thread about how he doesn’t think rape culture is real, despite the rest of us telling him he’s wrong.

Men are taught to prioritize their feelings first, and fuck everyone else, and at the same time are taught not to express any emotion other than “Neutral” and varying degrees of “Anger”. It’s really fucked up.

(Off topic: It’s my birfdai today, and my mom’s coming to visit, so I’m slightly bracing myself for that. It’s also Mother’s Day here in the US, so happy Mother’s Day to all the moms here!)

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

The worst media representation relating to women and marriage has got to be the Hallmark Channel rom-com. If anyone thinks regular theatrically released romantic comedies are, Hallmark takes the formula and adds a pseudo Christian fundie twist. Religion is never actually mentioned, but all the same, they’re so conservative and prudish that they are clearly targeting that audience. I think they’re meant for repressed traditional women who are trying desperately to convince themselves that they’ve made the correct life choices.

Pretty much all their movies involve a career woman meeting a man and leaving her career to live happily ever after with him after about one kiss and a few days of knowing each other. It’s terrible.

Yet sometimes I hate watch them. Why? I don’t know.

It does seem like more and more women don’t want to be pandered to with shitty, formulaic, and sexist rom-coms. They’ve been doing poorly at the box office. Here’s an interesting but long look at what happened.
http://www.laweekly.com/news/who-killed-the-romantic-comedy-4464884

They talk about how male centered romantic comedies have been doing better, but they don’t come to the conclusion that it might be because men are actually more interested in a romantic fantasy than women.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
5 years ago

Hipy papy bthuthduth, Paradoxical Intention! I hope you have a really lovely one. With people and presents and candles and cake (mmmmm, cake 🙂 )
And I hope everything goes nicely with your mum too.

Glenn
Glenn
5 years ago

@Paradoxical

Glenn insisted that his pick-up strategy wasn’t creepy or not-okay at all, despite just about every woman regular here telling him otherwise

Again, is forum is not exactly a microcosm of all women. And without observing me in action, you can’t accurately comment on my pickup strategy.

Men are taught to prioritize their feelings first, and fuck everyone else

No, but everyone here seems to suggest that a man should always put a woman’s feelings before his own.

Anyway, happy birthday.

Glenn
Glenn
5 years ago

@weirwood

I know you missed me, I’m back!

I took a weekend trip to the Temple to try my pickup approach on Dany Targaryen.

dreemr
dreemr
5 years ago

@Policy of Madness

I’ve spent long periods of time not in a romantic relationship, and I wasn’t “alone.” Why do we talk about single women this way? We don’t talk about single men as being “alone” with anywhere near the same frequency. Dumping a loser who was dragging me down didn’t send me to a deserted island, or into a hermit cave. Why do we use this language to describe single women?

Hear fucking HEAR. I’ve been without a romantic partner now for only a few years less than I was in romantic relationships, but I’m not ALONE.

pitshade
pitshade
5 years ago

@ Moocow

Have you ever seen the Sinfest comic where Patriarchy is the Matrix? Feminism is a far better analogy for the red pill than what we normally see.

This is where it starts: http://www.sinfest.net/view.php?date=2011-10-07

@ WeirwoodTreeHugger, Paradoxical Intention

I like that site but the comments have often been full of sealions and MRA types. I tend not to read them, tbh.

Disclaimer, I’m AMAB agender, asexual, aromantic and asocial (mostly) I am mostly here (and lurking elsewhere) to learn and share but I don’t have much in the way of original insight to offer.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

So, Glenn lurks around here until someone mentions his name and then he comments? Is that his new schtick? Oh, but there’s no possible we can know he’s creepy. Nope. None at all!

dust bunny
dust bunny
5 years ago

@ Skullpants, Kat

Thank you!

@ Policy of Madness

Good call, thanks. I definitely don’t want to perpetuate the notion that singlehood is necessarily a sad thing or a failure, whether it’s gendered or not.

Earlier ITT when I used the word “alone” instead of “single”, I did mean for the implications of sadness and failure to be there. I was saying it’s a sad thing that some women have to choose between having a sexist partner or no partner at all, and I was saying they (we) are being failed, by our sexist culture. The words came out pretty much as I meant them.

But you’re right, people are likely to read that as supporting gross ideas about single people. I wasn’t thinking that many steps ahead.

Dalillama
5 years ago

@WWTH

It does seem like more and more women don’t want to be pandered to with shitty, formulaic, and sexist rom-coms.

Reminds me of the one line review in a local paper of Mel Gibson’s 2000 ‘What Women Want’: Better movies than this piece of shit.

GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
5 years ago

One of the most striking aspects of gender socialization, IMO, is that girls are socialized to be good at relationships (including intimate ones), but on the other hand, if you set out deliberately to train boys to be bad at relationships, you could hardly do a better job than the traditional (toxic) masculine model. It has been my experience that there is a very significant excess of women who can become good partners compared to men with those qualities. I have definitely benefitted from that imbalance in the relationship/matrimonial sweepstakes myself, since I’ve had trouble getting and holding jobs due to my criminal record (Vietnam-era draft resister) and rather cantankerous personality. I was fortunate to meet a woman who is an excellent bread-winner and was looking for someone who would be willing (and reasonably capable) to stay home with the kids when they were little. In any case, it is probably true that a lot of women who would prefer to be in a relationship will be forced to accept that being single is preferable to a relationship with an unsuitable man. Maybe men will learn that they don’t get to have a loving partner just for having a penis.
I have been a committed pro-feminist ever since I read de Beauvoir’s The Second Sex at the age of 19 almost exactly 50 years ago, but I still have to struggle with my masculine socialization more times than I really like to admit, and I don’t always win the battle. Most boys are raised to believe that if they aren’t firmly in control of any situation, including relationships, they aren’t “real men” and women won’t “respect” them. (And it is true that there are still a lot of women who won’t respect a man who is not dominant.) The fact is that society has tried to make all of us males deeply insecure about our manhood (and of course has done the same thing with women) in order to manipulate us, and to some extent the dudes that David exposes to ridicule are the ones who have bought into the traditional stereotypes most strongly and therefore react with the greatest degree of insecure anger to those women who haven’t bought in to the feminine stereotype. The MGTOWs are faced with a major conflict: they can’t really relate to most women because women aren’t adhering to the patterns that the dudes have been conditioned to expect, but they still need to have sex with them to validate themselves as “real men”.
I think we are in the midst (probably in the middle or a bit before the middle) of a great transformation in gender roles that will probably end up with at most a small fraction of the gender role differentiation that existed before the modern wave of feminism — say, before about 1960. The pace may seem glacial in terms of a human life span, but I think it is inevitable — although it might be speeded up or slowed down — for at least two reasons. First is the steady decrease in the value of brawn and the increase in the value of brains in economic life. In the mostly agricultural-based economy of the past, women worked as hard as men but at less strenuous, more skill-based tasks (cooking vs plowing, for example). The economy we have today can’t afford to waste the intellectual contributions that women can make, while we have a really serious issue of how to deal with all that male muscle power which is no longer particularly in demand. Second is the fact that the modern economy requires more cooperation and teamwork on projects far too large for any individual to accomplish, so the value of the brilliant lone wolf type has diminished — and women’s traditional socialization tends to make them better suited for this sort of thing than traditional male individualistic competition. In other words, I think that while women have to move a certain distance toward what men have been traditionally socialized to be, men have to move a greater distance towards what women have been traditionally socialized to be. Unfortunately, men, having been given most of the power in the traditional system, are finding it a lot more difficult to adapt to the world of the future — or to even accept the need to adapt.
What I am hoping will come out of the Trumpenstein campaign is that women will be motivated to speak up and assert themselves against what he represents and will discover that it actually feels good; that more and more women will insist on having a greater role in public life.

Wetherby
Wetherby
5 years ago

And now various Tories have expressed disgust with Goldsmith’s racist campaign. Seems their disgust was so extreme that it rendered them speechless on the matter until after the election.

Credit where it’s due, Peter Oborne and Sayeeda Warsi strongly criticised the campaign while it was running – but they were very much in the minority.

But it’s worth reading Oborne’s denunciation, as he doesn’t remotely pull his punches.

Wetherby
Wetherby
5 years ago

Sorry – I forgot to link to the Oborne piece: it’s here.

And it’s well worth a read, not least because he’s become the British equivalent of thoughtful American conservatives who are utterly appalled by Donald Trump.

Chiomara
Chiomara
5 years ago

@EJ
Thank you so much! :3

@DustBunny
Honestly, I don’t think you are wrong at all. It’s much better and wiser to look for men who are feminist in the first place, for several reasons. They just tend to be kinder, (sorry if that’s ableist) smarter and safer. It’s simply a safer bet to let yourself fall for such a man. Hell, its even safer (and better!) to hook up with them, according to my experience.

I am only insisting on him because we had been together for 2 years before I even knew of feminism, and when I entered it, he acts so much like a feminist and accepts so many feminist concepts (when you give them other names) that I actually THOUGHT he was a feminist.
Before feminism, as a silly teen, I was a bit transphobic, fatphobic, slutshamer, and he called me out on all that and educated me. He gave me the last push I needed to accept my bissexuality, without using it for his entertainment. And mostly, when I was raped, he noticed it was rape even before I did, offered me all support I needed, without any victim blaming, even when every one blamed me. Not to mention I love him so much, and I can see he loves me too. So I think my case is very especific and wouldnt advise anyone to follow my steps. Don’t expect people to change much, ever. It’s a waste of time and emotional strength.

But I will keep you informed!

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
5 years ago

<3 Good luck, Chio. Humans are complicated, he sounds like no exception. He also sounds like he's worth the effort. I really hope it works out for you!

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
5 years ago

Happy Mothers day everyone! Here’s to mom’s everywhere, even a MGTOW/MRA/PUA/Alt-Right would agree to that right?

If not that’s a brand new petty low.

Misha
Misha
5 years ago

I hope you keep us posted on how your SO’s conversion is going. Not to put a burden on you, but if you’re successful, a lot of us here may find it easier to feel hopeful about the world.

Happily my SO has changed drastically compared to when we first started dating, but it’s a long hard road and requires staggering amounts of time and effort which I would be extremely reluctant to recommend to anyone. But it has happened, so thought I would share.

In my situation he was an immature, tantrum-throwing asshat who thought women “jumped on the feminist bandwagon for attention” and believed anxiety and depression “weren’t real mental illnesses”.

Quite a catch, I know. Considering I was a mental health worker at the time I can only conclude I was blinded by lust. And rum. Lots and lots of rum.

It took me leaving him, after putting up with 18 months of him throwing his toys out of the pram whenever I didn’t smile enough (arglebargle) before he figured maybe he was the problem.

He sought counselling, then attempted to access a perpetrator programme and engaged with their counselling service instead. He educated himself on Lundy Bancroft’s work and on social justice in general. He began to challenge transphobic articles shared by his friends, made new friends who didn’t enable his previous behaviour and paid attention to the issues faced by the women around him. He began to make links, and then more links. He now jokes about his whiteness and his male privilege, and gravitates towards media that doesn’t feature white, straight, cis male protagonists.

Now I’m the one that has to remind myself that he may have needs too, as he’ll listen to me talk for hours. If I’m anxious, he reassures me and apologises if it’s not exactly what I need. When we argue, which is rare, it may take an hour instead of a week and ends in a healthy resolution rather than denial, minimization and blame.

When I tell him how much he’s changed, he looks uncomfortable and says that it’s an ongoing process. He says he’ll never be ‘changed’, he can only keep on committing to that process.

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

@Glenn
I know googling is really hard, so I went ahead and did it for you, and it turns out that women, as the women here have been patiently explaining to you, do not like being approached for casual sex. http://interpersona.psychopen.eu/article/view/121/html

This one is on the house, but next time you want us to do your work for you, we’ll need something in return.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

I do think that Glenn will wind up genuinely alone. He’s trained himself to view women as commodities and not quite fully human, so his odds of a successful romantic relationship are diminished, but in addition PUAs have very little to offer in friendship, which is why they resort to game in the first place. They don’t have many interests beyond getting laid, very little knowledge beyond game, and just aren’t very fun to be around.

That’s what “alone” means. It means being like Roosh, whining about how nobody wants to be near him and how onerous it is to wipe his own ass. That’s where Glenn is headed. And that makes me smile.

Chiomara
Chiomara
5 years ago

@Scildfreja
Yes, yes, he is a good person. He is wonderful in practice, terrible in theory. It’s like a child who loves to eat onions – unless you call it onions. Are black people in disadvantage for their race? Definitely. Are black people opressed? Hell, no. It makes me crazy, but i’m learning to live with it.

Chiomara
Chiomara
5 years ago

@Misha
Oh, god, I am so sorry. Mine is not that bad. I’m glad he changed, but yes… It’s slow and painful.

@PoM and Glenn

I do think that Glenn will wind up genuinely alone. He’s trained himself to view women as commodities and not quite fully human

And you know what, Glenn, we mostly notice we are being used. It doesnt work on empowered women, they are disgusted by it, and thats why part of the sttategy is looking for women as emotionally fragile as possible, and make her ever more fragile. We may accept it because we are used to being treated like that, or because we think we don’t deserve better. But the moment someone shows us we deserve better, and make us truly happy, we drop you for the well, beta Bucks? Manginas? And can never look at PUAs with anything but pity. It sounds sad not to be able to build relationships of mutual respect with 50% of humanity, only abusive ownership.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

Hey, any vegetarians/vegans out there with bacon cravings? I finally found a bacon substitute that actually works. I’ve spent the last few weeks recreating old dinners that I used to make with bacon. I’ve even put it on burgers! It’s made from coconut flakes, i.e. those larger flat pieces of coconut. Where I live, they’re marketed as unsalted coconut chips.

Here:
3 cups of coconut flakes
3 tbsp tamari sauce
2½ tbsp liquid smoke/hickory
1½ tbsp maple syrup
some oil and salt

Spread the coconut flakes out on a baking sheet. Mix the tamari, liquid smoke and maple syrup together and coat the coconut with it. Bake at 175c/350f for 10 minutes or so. Keep an eye on it, and leave it in a little longer for more crispy ‘bacon’. After it’s out of the oven, mix in some oil and salt.

It tastes pretty much like actual bacon with an added subtle coconut flavor. It’s spectacular!

Dr. NicolaLuna, Epic Slut
Dr. NicolaLuna, Epic Slut
5 years ago

@Scildfreja
That betelguise gif was so perfect. I’m so glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I saw it!

@Glenn
Mate, stop creeping. PUA shit doesn’t work unless you’re using it to manipulate inexperienced, insecure young women. Don’t be that guy. Just have a regular conversation and ask someone out (although not hiking because we only pretend to like that so we can take photos) and get to know them. It might end up somewhere, it might not, but at least it’s real and not based on some stupid made up game.

Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
5 years ago

comment image

Happy birthday, PI ^_^

No, but everyone here seems to suggest that a man should always put a woman’s feelings before his own.

So far I’ve seen this only when it applies to boner feelings. Woman doesn’t want to have sex with you > boner feelings. Other than that, I’ve noticed that everyone here is pretty respectful of the feelings of others, unless they fall into entitled crybaby territory.

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

@Petal
Sounds delicious! I eat meat but the pork industry here in the US is awful so it’s always nice to have an alternative. I bet you could use the same flavorings mixed with coconut oil as a substitute for bacon grease. I don’t cook with bacon grease often, but sometimes it makes a big difference.

Bryce
Bryce
5 years ago

@Misha

It seems like you’ve demanded the moral high ground over your partner.
Disagreement does not equal abuse, even if his opinions were annoying or offensive. He’s done this because he wants to be with you.

Bryce
Bryce
5 years ago

Late retraction: On second thoughts, getting angry at someone for not smiling – particularly someone with a mental illness – could potentially be abusive.

(Apologies, bad call.)

varalys the dark
5 years ago

I’m definitely not alone. I have my cat Biff! Seriously though, there is a tradition of solitary women in my family. My maternal grandmother never remarried when she lost her husband to cancer in 1962, she died in 2007. My mum has never shown an interest in chasing men again after she hoofed my dads lying cheating arse out the house in 1988. I had my heart broken so comprehensively in 2002 I couldn’t face the prospect of a relationship for a long time, then I realised I liked not being in one.

My sisters are just the opposite though, both happily settled down with the chaps they met at university. Both lovely fellas. Maybe one day an awesome woman will come into my life who I can share comics, videogames and kung fu movies with, until then it’s fighting with the cat over my pillow at night and him stealing the duvet while I sleep.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Policy of Madness

Most people do not, so by being “equal opportunity” you are contributing to this misogynist narrative, in the same way that “race neutral” people contribute to structural racism.

How about we describe nobody as “alone” solely for reason of not having a romantic partner?

I never thought of it that way. Thanks for pointing that out.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Glenn | May 8, 2016 at 1:34 pm
@Paradoxical

Glenn insisted that his pick-up strategy wasn’t creepy or not-okay at all, despite just about every woman regular here telling him otherwise

Again, is forum is not exactly a microcosm of all women. And without observing me in action, you can’t accurately comment on my pickup strategy.

You told us what your pickup strategy is, and we told you that it’s creepy. We, a group of random women from all over the world, told you it was creepy.

We may not be all of women, and women aren’t a monolith, but when you get a random smattering of women from various walks of life and social upbringings telling you you’re doing something wrong…you might wanna consider it. It’s like a random sample.

Not to mention, you got really fucking creepy when we started telling you shit you didn’t want to hear, and despite you saying you “understand boundaries” and listen when women make it clear they don’t want to hear from you, here you still are! Despite the fact we’ve told you to fuck off several times now!

Way to prove to us that PUA isn’t all about rapey, creepy, douchiness, that doesn’t take women’s feelings or personal safety into account, Glenn!

So, I’ll say it again: Fuck off.

Men are taught to prioritize their feelings first, and fuck everyone else

No, but everyone here seems to suggest that a man should always put a woman’s feelings before his own.

No. We’re suggesting that your boner and “need” for sex isn’t above a woman’s comfort and safety, and that it isn’t a good idea to approach women randomly on the street just to hit on them (and we even suggested good places where women would actually be receptive to you hitting on them), and you continued to whine that you need to get your boner wet, and apparently randomly walking up to women on the street is the only way you can think to do it because you’re fucking dense and don’t give a shit about anyone’s discomfort because your dick is all you fucking think about.

http://static.tumblr.com/1fbc548841fcd6d5734f10ce49652d02/otlwdmj/nO6o3n9lb/tumblr_static_jdrxk3zluwow4wcss4cw8ccw.gif

No one cares about your boner, Glenn. And no, women shouldn’t be forced into a situation they don’t feel comfortable in just so you can get your boner feels addressed. Their discomfort should be considered.

You’re a skeezy, inconsiderate, delusional little shit, and while you believe that you’re a perfect gentlemen who knows how to deal with women, you’ve only proven to us that you’re about as smooth as driveway gravel on a bed of 24 grit sandpaper.

You don’t give a shit about what any woman has to say about it, however, because you’ll just try to hand-wave them away like you did us because we don’t fit your little PUA-bubble narrative and try to mansplain how we should feel to accommodate you and your dick instead of fucking listen. Because all we are to you are things to fuck.

Eat shit. Fuck off.

Anyway, happy birthday.

Fuck off, skag turd.

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Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ IP

Hey, any vegetarians/vegans out there with bacon cravings?

Yup. Funnily enough someone else has just recommended a very similar recipe. I’ll have to give it a go. The big problem I’ve been having is finding cold meat substitutes for salads now it’s summer. Weirdly I’ve now discovered that if you get those Quorn chicken burgers, cook them, let them cool and scrape the breadcrumbs off they do a reasonable impression of cold chicken. I’ve also found a decent tofu based tuna replacement. So just need veggie corned beef and I’m sorted.

Eyes on the Right
5 years ago

Screwed that link up.

Eyes on the Right
5 years ago

Lemmie try again.

Genjones
Genjones
5 years ago

Hey, any vegetarians/vegans out there with bacon cravings?

I’ve found that eggplant sliced into slabs, marinated in maple syrup, balsamic vinegar and smoked paprika, then dehydrated on a low heat until it becomes like jerky makes a delicious veggie bacon.

I’ve also tried out the sous vide tomato imitation tuna with rice vinegar and a touch of soy sauce, and it came out very convincingly. My sushi rolling skills are really sloppy though, I just gave up and made seaweed wrap burritos.

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
5 years ago

@Glenn,

The issue here is that you said you weren’t interested in women who go to singles’ bars or “those sorts of environments”. I.e. women looking to hook up. You don’t want that kind of woman.

You, a guy looking to hook up, don’t want a woman who also wants to hook up.

Here, let me write it out formally.
{
You are looking to meet someone for casual.
You are not looking for someone who explicity wants to have casual sex.
}
–> You are looking to have sex with a woman who does not want to.

Sort of self-descriptive, that.

Now you can say that your goal is to be so charming that she ends up wanting sex with you. You likely think this.

This only happens in movies. People can’t charm the pants off of someone. “Tingles” don’t exist. Moving from a person who doesn’t have casual sex to one who does is a personality shift, which takes time and is something intrinsic to the person, and can’t be gamed. Source: I’m a fucking intelligence researcher. Those traits are stable over long periods of time.

Charm doesn’t work on a woman who’s not already looking for casual sex. Know what does? Coercion does. Manipulation does. Intimidation does.

You don’t want women looking for casual sex because you don’t want sex with a willing woman.

I leave you to connect the fucking dots.

Sincerely,

– Scildfreja

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
5 years ago

Vegan stuff? Here’s a big playlist of some excellent basic vegan prep dishes. Great fundamentals here that you can use to make all sorts of stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGLfVvz_LVvRG3TYWrZ9KRBdwp-T49OK3

Really creative, quite simple, and very good! Great for diets. Let me know if you try some of these – I haven’t tried a lot of them, and would love to know how they turn out!

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Scildfreja

You don’t want women looking for casual sex because you don’t want sex with a willing woman.

You’re right.

Glenn, that makes you beyond creepy.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
5 years ago

Scildfreja’s analysis is spot-on.