Pity poor Roosh! The widely despised pickup artist and wannabe philosopher spent the last decade and a half as a man-slut, riding the vagina tilt-a-whirl around the world, having what he insists was consensual sex with women in an assortment of sometimes colorful, sometimes colorless places from Paraguay to Siberia.
Now, the not-so-benevolent dictator of a miniature internet empire based on ebooks, clickbait and misogyny, Roosh has decided he wants to settle down and become an old-school patriarch, with an adoring or at least subservient wife and a brood of mini-Rooshes.
There’s just one problem: An evil conspiracy of Western governments and central bankers, hellbent on depopulating the world, is making it darn near impossible for poor Roosh to find himself a good wife, in the form of a young hottie, preferably more than a decade his junior, with such limited options that she won’t be able to leave him once she realizes the terrible mistake she’s made.
Alas, Roosh reports, even in Eastern Europe, the young women he meets have pretty much all been totally ruined by something called “a college education.”
In a post titled How The Government Is Robbing Men Of Good Wives, a sad and angry Roosh laments that even in those
countries in Eastern Europe that have superior women than in America … you encounter a big problem: they value their education and careers above that of family.
And it’s all the fault of Big Government:
Education is offered for free or at a greatly subsidized rate by the government. Western governments are therefore programming women into becoming sterile office slaves and consumers instead of good wives and mothers.
The horror!
And so, poor Roosh laments,
I’ve been unable to find more than a handful [of Eastern European women] under the age of 25 who has shown eagerness into soon becoming a mom.
Or maybe they just don’t want to settle down with an ebook writer who hasn’t yet mastered the rudiments of grammar?
When Roosh talks to these women about their lack of interest in pledging themselves to a patriarch, they tell him they want to be educated, with careers of their own, so they don’t end up stuck in a miserable marriage with an alcoholic husband who cheats on them.
“I need a backup plan in case my husband becomes bad,” these women apparently all tell Roosh.
Never mind that the worries of these women are completely understandable. Alcoholism is a massive problem in Eastern Europe, especially among men, leading not only to crappy marriages but also to an assortment of health issues that all too often cause premature death. In Russia, the fourth-drunkest country in the world (Belarus is number one), more than a third of hard-drinking men die before they reach 55.
So, yeah, Eastern European women are acutely aware that they cannot rely on men to ensure a future for themselves or their children.
But to Roosh, who apparently lives in some conspiracy theory fairyland, Eastern European women who want to be able to provide for themselves (and their children) are sex-crazed tools of The Machine. “Men are bad,” Roosh sarcastically sniffs,
and because of that, she must spend years in university where she gets to experiment with different cocks and where she is firmly taken out of her natural role to learn how to serve a corporate master while her future kid goes to day care and her husband eats cans of tuna because his wife is too tired from work to cook, assuming she even knows how.
A man forced to prepare his own dinner! Damn you, you student-loan-pushing governments!
Women want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to be able to marry the man they are most attracted to, and if that doesn’t work, still be able to enjoy an independent and comfortable life of Ikea furniture and Starbucks without having to put up with a man’s reasonable demands to cook him dinner and make sure the children are taken care of.
How unreasonable these women are, unwilling to spend their lives trapped in a miserable marriage. How terrifying is it that, even without money from a man, they can afford cheap-but-decent-looking furniture and the occasional Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Roosh thinks it’s positively perverse that today’s non-Roosh-marrying Eastern European woman will
spend thousands of hours studying a topic like law or international business relations and became an obedient office worker instead of learning how to obey her husband.
As a result of this educating-women madness, Roosh complains,
we are seeing the disappearance of the nuclear family along with high divorce rates and out-of-wedlock births where future degenerates of the state get to watch mommy get sexy matches on Tinder.
Oh, but it gets worse!
It turns out that these terrible date-having mommies are also, unwittingly, enabling the depopulation agenda of the evil globalists who secretly run the world.
If you take the depopulation agenda to be accurate then it makes sense that you would want to train women to do anything but bond with men in a way that leads to reproduction. That is exactly what most Western governments have done, and it starts by essentially brainwashing women of the need to be free from their husbands by making them obsessed to earn money produced by central banks. Any country where the idea of female employment is seen as “common sense” is in the process of having their culture destroyed, if it hasn’t already been done.
Aw, it’s almost cute just how doggedly Roosh is working at becoming a conspiracy theorist. In the sidebar of his blog, he lists several books he’s currently reading, including Sworn in Secret: Freemasonry and the Knights Templar, a history of Freemasonry that has gotten rave reviews from both Scottish Rite Journal and Knight Templar Magazine (no, really); and None Dare Call it Conspiracy, the paranoid 1971 bestseller setting forth the alleged truth about evil bankers and the sinister … Council on Foreign Relations!
But for Roosh, still finding his conspiracy theory sea legs, there is one aspect of this whole educating-women thing that’s even worserer than the depopulation of planet Earth.
For it turns out that the lizard people — or whoever Roosh imagines runs the global conspiracy — don’t just want to turn women into non-baby-having office drones. They want to turn men into … CUCKS.
I mean, say you actually decide to wife up one of these terrible job-having women, and when you decide she needs to quit her job to devote herself fulltime to taking care of you and the kids, and she says no?
Blame the government, with its subsidized student loans and alluring talk of female empowerment. Blame the government, for conning young women into devoting their lives to “corporate and victimhood training, not wife training.”
And so, when this hypothetical wife of yours refuses your command to quit her job, Roosh tells us, you are, “being actively cucked by your own government.”
Yes, that’s right: by providing student loans to young women, the government is somehow, at least figuratively, “cucking” men because, wait, how on earth would that possibly work?
Roosh, like the alt-righters who won’t let him in their clubhouse, has a rather expansive notion of just what cuckolding is.
So is there a solution to this terrible dilemma? Even in Eastern Europe, Roosh warns us again, city-dwelling women have pretty much all been “seduced by the prospect of free education, city lights, and the ability to sleep around without consequences.” Indeed, Roosh reports with horror, as wife material they are basically as bad as — *shudder* — American women.
“Unless you start visiting villages or churches,” Roosh sadly concludes, “you’ll end up disappointed.”
Will the churches in Eastern Europe’s tiniest towns soon find themselves overrun by Roosh fanboys gamely asking every woman they meet (and possibly each other) where the pet shop is?
“I need a backup plan in case my husband becomes bad,” these women apparently all tell Roosh.”
And then Roosh breaks into a cold sweat since he knows that there was never a chance of him being anything but a terrible husband.
I’d rather leave them here and have them be unhappy and non-reproducing.
And that way the women of the past won’t have to deal with their bullshit either.
Tulse, ableism isn’t okay. Please read the comments policy.
“Sheeple” and “jackbooted thugs” are fine, the latter because they’re literal nazis, but let’s not make comments about their mental health.
“Bigot” isn’t a mental illness.
I find it continuously hilarious how these guy all have sky-high expectations around women, and then get pissed when they’re not met. They seem to think that they’re entitled to a relationship (or at least sex) with young, attractive women no matter how old or unattractive they are themselves.
Oh noes! Education is making all the wimminz smart and stuff so they want intellectual conversations and debates rather than just talking about me, me and me! They’re also financially independent so they can all leave me! Wimminz haven’t contributed to the arts, science, engineering or anything, while my cookbooks will change the world, I tells ya! Change the world!!!
(Sarcasm alert!) 🙂
I don’t get it. Even assuming every single thing Roosh says about society in general is true, he still should be able to find one old-fashioned young woman being raised by domineering parents willing to sell her to him for the right dowry.
He only needs one. It shouldn’t be that hard.
On the off chance that Roosh is reading these comments: Roosh, there’s a very simple solution for your problem. It’s called “go fuck yourself.”
What’s next, Rooshy? Are you going to demand the right to break women’s leg so they can’t use those to run away either?
My apologies, Paradoxical Intention, as I didn’t realize the term I used was actually ableist (in that I didn’t think it referred to actual mental health issues). I will take more care in future.
I’m trying to imagine a small, traditional Russian village that might be warmly receptive to an American with an unwashed butt flashing wads of cash and asking where the virgins are at.
“Sure!” they’ll tell him. “Take our Masha away to the big city while you continue to eke out a living with your Bang ebooks and conspiracy articles! Give her a pleasant middle-class lifestyle that can even include dog and car ownership! We won’t interfere, follow you to the city, or expect any monthly support checks from you. Family ties are just not that strong in our little village. Oh, you’re a devout Muslim and have no desire to convert? Even better! It is the match we have dreamed of since she was a little girl!”
I could be wrong, but I don’t think any rural Russian villagers are gonna be saluting his flagpole, if you get my drift.
@POM said
I feel like I probably shouldn’t admit it but…call it schadenfreude I guess. I just find it kind of delightful that Roosh seems to really want to get married and start procreatin’ and can’t find anyone both acceptable to him AND willing to deal with him. I don’t wish the man any actual harm, but it is awfully satisfying to know that his unreasonable desires are not being met, and not in danger of being met anytime soon.
And if Women Going Their Own Way is a thing, I have been doing that for at LEAST 15 years yay me!
Wait, women want to be individuals?!? With their own income? With education, and thoughts, and ideas and DREAMS?!? Oh, THE HORROR! THEY WANT TO BE HUMAN AND NOT INCUBATORS!
I don’t believe in god but I swear I pray for men like Roosh never to get married. Poor women.
@Mary Contrary,
That’s an uplifting story. Good on that Chief for putting an end to child brides under her area of control. It’s terrifying to know that little girls are forced into marrying grown men and then get stuck raising babies when they should be getting an education.
Roosh: “I’ve been unable to find more than a handful [of Eastern European women] under the age of 25 who has shown eagerness into soon becoming a mom.”
So why doesn’t he marry one of the “handful” that he is able to find? Or is he looking for a harem of clueless, uneducated women? He really needs to get a life.
I suddenly feel pretty okay with being a sterile office slave.
WAIT, Roosh is a Muslim and looking for a eastern european wife with traditional values?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Roosh, YOU CAN’T BE MORE HILARIOUS, CAN YOU?!
Wellp. He is gonna die single. I’m glad. Today is a good day.
@Buttercup, you bring up a good point. As a Muslim, why isn’t he looking in Chechnya?
maybe someone noted this already, but-
come on, there can’t be any other logical reason why no woman wants to marry this heckuva catch right?
@Paradoxical Intention: Fair point, I suppose. I actually don’t care if he’s happy, I just wish he’d go away.
He’s not looking in Chechnya because he’s not looking for a Muslim or Christian or anything like that. He’s looking for a woman that worships him. So, any of the patriarchal religions will do.
So Roosh’s idea of an perfect woman is dumb, ignorant and pretty, so hes want to marry an Malibu Stacy doll?
he wants a rooshian babooshka.
So looks like Roosh’ plan to produce a tribe of tiny baby-Rooshes if only he can find an incubator worthy of him is not going to work.
I think the planet dodged a bullet there.
I find it strange that Roosh believes being a 50s sitcom housewife and being a consumer are mutually exclusive. From the minute mass advertising came into existence, housewives were a major target. They still are. Notice how ads for cleaning products and housewares don’t target men. Being the ideal wife has always been about consumerism.
I think Roosh’s Muslim phase lasted only until he realized it didn’t make him immune to criticism from ess jay dubyas.
They value their education and careers above that WHAT of family? Roosh, learn what an antecedent is! Otherwise, it’s no wonder that you can’t find a woman backward enough to marry you. Even those with just a grade-school education are smart enough to know that!
In some WESTERN European countries, yes. In Germany, if you’re bright enough to get in, you CAN get a free university education. But that’s not for everyone, obviously. And on this side of the Atlantic…have you priced an education lately? People are going bankrupt for this!
Oh wait, what am I saying…it’s Roosh, who doesn’t even understand basic grammar. Of course not!
And again: “eagerness into”? No wonder no one will marry him — they have no idea what he’s even saying!
And why would anyone want to become a mom so early, much less with an unpromising prospective father like him? It’s not like they ENJOY being tied down so young with a crying brood and a pail of poopy diapers, bozo.
Well, there’s nothing stopping YOU learning to cook, is there, Roosh? Oh wait…maybe your poor hygiene, which would make any food you handle unsafe to eat. But then again, learning how to keep yourself clean without whining about how burdensome it is would take care of THAT, too. But fat chance that you’d ever do it. Between whining about basic grooming and whining about what awful bitches women all are for not wanting to marry an obvious sponger (who can’t work a sponge!), there’s just not enough hours left in the day to learn to fend for oneself.
And this is a bad thing…HOW?
And men demanding that we “cook him dinner and make sure the children are taken care of” when they could do it just as easily themselves is “reasonable”…HOW? How is it unreasonable for us to expect a guy to pitch in? I mean, the worst thing that happens to Roosh on HIS “job” is that he breaks a nail typing angry bullshit…
So he writes books for men on how to conspire and forge cabals amongst themselves, and brainwash women into obeying men. Makes sense!
This is coming from one whose entire career trajectory, up till now, has been all about hooking uninterested women for sex, on the Internet or wherever. And who probably didn’t care if he was schtupping some little kid’s not-currently-married mother, either.
Oh PLEASE. Ever hear of the “mommy track”, Roosh? It’s where working women go when they have children, but the boss-man doesn’t want to pay them as much as he does a man (single, childless or otherwise) or promote them to any position of real power within the organization, because he thinks (wrongly) that they’d be better off discouraged from seeking raises and rank, and should be more focused on raising their kids instead. Nobody’s stopping them from marrying or reproducing, just from rising within the ranks. And for women on that track, it’s frustrating as fuck. (It’s also no fun for women who have neither kids nor any intention of having any, because all folks female have a funny way of getting tarred with the same brush by those boss-men. And because those child-free women are expected to pick up the slack, but not to get paid or promoted any more than their mommy-tracked sisters!)
And another thing: If there were really a “depopulation agenda” at work, why is the world’s population currently at an all-time high, with no deflation of global fertility rates in sight? Questions, questions. But I ain’t lookin’ to Roosh for answers. He’s clearly too stupid even to wipe his own ass, and too busy pulling shit out of it.
@WWTH Great point to bring up. Back then it was actually the women that made most/all the decisions about shopping.
I mean obviously they weren’t in charge of large purchases, but they got to decide what brands to buy etc. Of course at that point it would have been the man’s money, but a man didn’t have time to waste grocery shopping/making banal decisions about laundry detergent/etc!
And I might be wrong here, but didn’t a lot of women handle the majority of money matters, because men couldn’t be trusted not to go blow all their money on prostitutes and booze? I don’t remember where I’m getting that thought from so it’s entirely possible that it’s nonsense.
Not sure if that’s actually counter to Roosh and his doodz’s ideas or not, but I’d be curious as to whether or not they actually know that, given their complete lack of research into the era they so wish to return to.
But then again, Mad Men exists so maybe some of them at least realize how much purchasing power women had.