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The Fluoride Stare: The conspiracy theory catchphrase taking the flat earth by storm!

My contribution to the Flat Earth meme pool.
My contribution to the Flat Earth meme pool.

So last night, courtesy of Twitterer extraordinaire @SuperSpacedad, I learned of a new catchphrase that’s apparently catching on (or maybe not) amongst the internet’s conspiracy theorists: the Fluoride Stare, which is the blank-faced, glazed-eye look conspiracy theorists apparently encounter quite regularly when they start explaining their favorite conspiracy theories at great length.

Or, as @SuperSpacedad put it.

fluoride Staredad ‏@SuperSpacedad My new catchphrase is 'fluoride stare.' It's conspiracy crank jargon for 'person spacing out on my mad bloviating'

Obviously, that’s not quite how the conspiracy theorists would explain the look. Here’s one definition that @SuperSpacedad ran across:

stare1

Naturally, “fluoride stare” has become a meme. Here’s one that @SuperSpacedad found on Facebook:

fluormeme

I’m not sure where the original picture came from, but as someone pointed out to me on Twitter, that looks a lot like Thom Yorke there on the right.

But what a perfect illustration of crank magnetism: Of course the Flat Earth “Truthers” also believe that water fluoridation is part of a global flat-earth-wide conspiracy to “sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids,” as one famous fictional conspiracy theorist once put it.

The meme has made inroads amongst other sorts of conspiracy theorists as well:

Anyway, as soon as I saw this meme I realized that the mememaker had missed the obvious opportunity to combine it with this popular meme:

look1

look2

So I whipped up the meme at the top of the page and introduced it into the wilds of Twitter. Then I drank a nice cool glass of fluoridated water. No, I actually did.

Flat Earthers — you’re welcome!

Longtime readers of We Hunted the Mammoth — from the time when it was still known by the rather silly name Man Boobz — will no doubt recall the legendary MRA troll NWOslave and his obsession with the alleged evils of fluoride. Which he invariably referred to as “flouride.”

As Shaneon Garrity paraphrased his version of the theory in her legendary NWOslave Book of Learnin, which you can find in my post here:

Children are lined up and injected with a dangerous chemical called flouride to make them stupid.

NWOslave, a veritable magnetic pole of crank magnetism, had many other unique thoughts on medicine and science:

Mammograms cause breast cancer. Doctors advise women to get mammograms at least once a week until they develop cancer from it.

Evolution is impossible, because otherwise we’d be able to watch dogs evolve into super-dogs. Unless anyone can produce evidence of dogs with super-powers, evolution is a myth.

To be fair, he had unique perspectives on any number of topics:

The University of Cincinnati and all University of California schools have gotten rid of their engineering and computer science departments and replaced them with women’s studies and gender studies.

There are twice as many teachers and half as many students in U.S. schools as there were 20 years ago. These teachers spend class time walking around in their underwear to arouse elementary-school boys.

Spanish and Russian use the same alphabet. The Russians just have a funny kind of handwriting called cryillic script.

The musical Chicago is a polemic about how men should be shot to death. It was written by a female college student last year.

Women become sexually aroused by wearing clothes.

There are no poor women. Whenever a woman needs anything, she sits in the middle of the street and cries, and passerby throw food and money at her for free.

Without government, homosexuality would not exist.

Someday a straight white man will beat up a lesbian for molesting a five-year-old. Everyone in the world will sympathize with the lesbian and immediately legalize child molestation.

There are many more of these lovely “facts” to be found in the Book of Learnin.

I wonder if NWO slave has become a flat earther?

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Karalora
Karalora
8 years ago

I wonder if NWO slave has become a flat earther?

Statement presumes he was not already a flat earther when we knew him. Did he ever express his opinion as to the shape of the planet?

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
8 years ago

I’m not sure where the original picture came from, but as someone pointed out to me on Twitter, that looks a lot like Thom Yorke there on the right.

I also see Tobey Maguire (directly above Thom), Vin Diesel (holding a burger), Salma Hayek (front-left) and Hugh Laurie (directly above Salma).

Ichthyic
Ichthyic
8 years ago

five bucks says NWOcreeper would call FEs “stupid”… just because that would the most ironic thing he could say.

HeinzD
HeinzD
8 years ago

My reaction to all of NWOslave’s ramblings:

http://i.imgur.com/8vrYAkb.gif

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
8 years ago

Personally I prefer the Zombie Stare.

FE the reason you get that stare is because the average joe is astounded at how kooky and idiotic you are.

FrickleFrackle
FrickleFrackle
8 years ago

Hiya, Thommy. Good to see you unsettling flat earthers!

weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

I suppose it’s a lot easier to blame fluoride than admit you’re really boring and no one wants to listen to you bloviate.

Another one of my favorite NWO hits is that Title IX has a police force that arrests innocent men or something like that.

Less funny was that he thinks 9 year old girls wear bikinis to arouse men, therefore men can’t be blamed for molesting them.

weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

Is the woman below Thom Yorke Saroise Ronan? And I think I see Michelle Kwan talking on a cell phone.

Judas Peckerwood
8 years ago

Longtime readers of We Hunted the Mammoth — from the time when it was still known by the rather silly name Man Boobz…

It’s still Man Boobz on my bookmarks list, and shall be forever.

Bina
8 years ago

Mammograms cause breast cancer. Doctors advise women to get mammograms at least once a week until they develop cancer from it.

As someone who recently had a possibly precancerous lesion discovered in the form of microcalcifications on a mammogram, I can categorically state that NWOdork is royally full of shit. You get ’em once a year, tops, as part of your annual health check — unless you’ve been diagnosed with cancer or precancer, in which case you get ’em twice a year, just to follow up and make sure your treatment has been effective. And the amount of radiation in them is small. You’re probably exposed to a lot more dangerous radiation just by going about your normal daily business out in the sun.

But then, I bet this idiot also thinks that breastfeeding causes cancer, because it changes the shape of the breast. Or some such holy nonsense.

Spanish and Russian use the same alphabet. The Russians just have a funny kind of handwriting called cryillic script.

And once more, with feeling: Holy cow, is HE full of shit. I’ve learned Spanish and am now learning Russian, and I think they may have all of five letters in common. Same as Russian has with English, for those keeping score.

Children are lined up and injected with a dangerous chemical called flouride to make them stupid.

…whereas NWOdork comes by it all-naturally!

Karalora
Karalora
8 years ago

Why did I say “statement?” I meant “question.” Question presumes, yadda yadda.

Shut up, Woody.

Chiomara
Chiomara
8 years ago

HAHAHAHAHAHA this post made me laugh like I havent in weeks! Imagine good Ol Miss Martha walking around in beige granny undies to arouse 10 yos mid class. Are we sure that guy is real?

Talking about real stuff and conspiracies I was reading the MGTOW Reddit (it was a slow weekend!) and I found this link:
https://witchwind.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/utopia-what-would-a-womens-society-look-like/

Apparently, according to a certain MGTOW, this is a feminist blog that has been going around the internet and used as a source many times. It’s, hear me out, HILARIOUS. David should take a look. I wonder how many antifeminists got their hate and strawmen from this little website.

Even though the prose makes it so painfully obviously its fake for anyone who has ever even seen a feminist in person, and all the blog posts have the same 5 or 6 commenters, I have to say I am impressed and almost flattered to see how much thought and time they put into it. The texts and comments are REALLY long, seek history references to seem real, there are many posts… They even know the MEANING of “libfem” and “intersectionality”, something that flies over the heads of most. Also the different commenters have different writing styles, and are consistent with them. For example, one commenter likes to capitalize random words, another types k instead of L. Theres also a “feminist library” with fake texts, and it links to OTHER fake blogs (most named “radical” something). I am really impressed and wonder how many people this took.

But read this post. Especially read the comment that says something like “people will read this and desperate libfems will say its fake or humor. Just like they say about the SCUM manifesto. It makes me so angry.”.
Theres a blog post that says like ” I just was in a meeting in a very secret feminist place!”
Read it. It’s my favorite freaking blog xD

Bina
8 years ago

the Fluoride Stare, which is the blank-faced, glazed-eye look conspiracy theorists apparently encounter quite regularly when they start explaining their favorite conspiracy theories at great length.

Also known as the “you’re boring me to tears, will you please SHUT UP” stare.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

It’s almost exactly like how that one PUA described the look of sheer “Not-This-Shit-Again” he got from a woman he was trying to run game on as the “Thousand Cock Stare”.

It’s pretty much any “I don’t want to face facts” person’s go-to argument when everyone else gets tired of their shit. Someone gives them the “Really?” look, and it must mean they’re right and everyone else is too doped up/has taken too many cocks to the vagina to see it!

The Thousand Cock Stare
The Thousand Cock Stare
8 years ago

So all this time I could have gotten free stuff?

BRB everyone, I’m gonna go outside and cry.

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
8 years ago

“Women become sexually aroused by wearing clothes” made me spit pizza on my keyboard. I dunno, maybe it’s inspired by the old trope of the woman putting on lingerie and trying to entice her husband who is watching football or something.

sunnysombrera
8 years ago

On the topic of conspiracies, sort of…I’m probably way overdue on this fact of life but I’ve realised just how much certain media outlets are habitual fucking liars, just to pander to their readership. A couple of right-wing British newspapers come to mind (you can probably guess which), but I’ve also just seen a Facebook Trending News section where Breitbart, The Mirror and a UKIP page re-post a video that supposedly shows a bunch of people “stealing” water bottles intended for London Marathon runners from the roadside. They’re seen stuffing the cases of water into bags and trolleys, and the captions talk about them being “scum” and “thieves.” The truth? The race was over and they were allowed to take it for free. You can probably guess why the main outlets were the ones I mentioned: the “thieves” were from one of London’s black neighbourhoods.

It disturbs me that these outlets have such influence among people. Lies and bullshit and people gobble it up, no matter how ridiculous it sounds (and the Daily Express is a master at keeping baseless hysteria going).

I know that freedom of speech and freedom of press is a thing…but can’t governments make regulatory bodies hold these shitrags to account? They don’t seem to be receiving any consequences for their deception.

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
8 years ago

That would imply the government is not beholden to the corporations and therefore won’t hold them to high factual standarads.

weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

I think the women getting sexually aroused by clothes thing is because NWO thinks female sexuality solely consists of looking sexy to turn men on. It’s kind of funny, but it’s also kind of rapey because this theory is what allows him to tell himself that looking sexy = consented to sex, therefore it’s not really rape if a man rapes a woman who he thinks is dressed sexy.

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
8 years ago

It’s definitely them and not you, flat earthers./s

I feel like the sorts who do this have to come up with some excuse as to why they are ignoring social norms.

brian
brian
8 years ago

if only those were direct quotes from NWOslave, I think I’d kind of love him.
Since I’m sure his actual words were far more offensive, gross, and tedious, and far LESS concise and entertaining… well I’m sure I love him about as much as any MRA (which is to say, not at all).

pitshade
pitshade
8 years ago

Flat earth and now fluoridation? Real life follows now the Steve Jackson card game.

Skiriki
Skiriki
8 years ago
Nequam
Nequam
8 years ago

Man, did NWOslave snack on paint chips as a kid?

IAmMarauder
IAmMarauder
8 years ago

The original picture is called Distractions, and was painted by Alex Gross (and if you have a spare $20,000 it is for sale via Etsy).

http://www.alexgross.com/paintings/one/distractions.html

@Pitshade: I find it interesting how conspiracies like these end up as “life imitating art” – it is almost like popular entertainment shapes the way people think. But we know that would never be the case

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