Categories
gender policing men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny racism

College gals! If you want a good man, stop protesting and shave your legs, crap man advises

College gals! There is literally a wall between you and the men of your dreams
College gals! There is literally a wall between you and the men of your dreams

College females! Listen up! A dude on the internet has some advice for you.

You need to stop protesting racism and rape culture, and soon, because if you don’t, you’ll never score the Trump-supporting probable-date-rapist of your dreams!

That, at least, is the recommendation given by one Jezebel commenter that our old pal Heartiste the Racist Pickup Dude has decided to feature on his blog today. The context for the comment, which now seems to have been deleted: Random internet dude is responding to a story about some frat bros at Tulane that built a veritable Trump wall out of sandbags around their frat house, covered with edifying and imaginative slogans such as “Make America Great Again” and “Trump.”

Note to college females who don’t want to marry “down.” You already outnumber males on campus 2 to 1. The ever fewer white males on campus are finally getting tired of the relentless and expanding PC environment that blames them from every ill from rape to black crime and at the same time expects them to pay more and more taxes to support the “47%.”

Mend your way, college females, because bitter white dudes don’t grow on trees!

If you want to marry at your social, financial and intellectual level, you are going to have to out compete the other two girls who are trying to land the same lacrosse player/frat boy/computer geek. It may be fun to chant “Black Lives Matter” and “take back the night,” but your best chance for finding a well matched mate is while you are in college.

That’s right, gals! We know your little secret!

You may literally be protesting a Trump wall built around a historically racist frat known for displaying Confederate flags in its windows and that until recently held an annual “Old South” formal celebrating the good old slavery days.

But we know that you secretly want to marry up each and every hunky frat bro behind that wall in a lavish Gone-With-the-Wind-themed ceremony in which you wear a hoop skirt and the groom and groomsmen are tastefully bedecked in Confederate uniforms.

You may be leading a Take Back the Night march, chanting “no means no,” but you secretly wish the guys chanting “no means yes, yes mans anal” would buy you a drink.

Oh, wait, I’m being told that none of that is even remotely true, and “are you kidding?”

The competition just gets tougher out in the real world (ask your older sister about how much fun the dating game is in your 30’s! ) Your future financial security, not to mention happiness, depends on beating the competition.

Apparently when women graduate from college they are all suddenly 30 years old.

So if Trump rallies are increasingly “where the bros are,” you might want to take a shower, shave your legs, put on some nice clothes and head for the next Trump rally.’

And if you don’t, it’s probably white genocide or something.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

59 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
xthetenth
xthetenth
4 years ago

Alternately, and this is a novel possibility so I can see how he missed it, there’s no farther down to marry than someone who doesn’t respect you or even your entire gender.

I also noticed he seemed to confuse intellectual equal for educational equal. It threw me off for a bit, since implying bigots are the intellectual equal of the rest of H. sapiens is a pretty tenuous claim.

Holytape
4 years ago

Is there a way of making AXE Body spray somehow instantly flammable?

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
4 years ago

They really think they represent the majority of men everywhere? Yikes. (I concede that in some places that may be true.)

magnesium
magnesium
4 years ago

lol, I love these “You ladies’ll get desperate enough to date my gross ass sooner or later!” screeds. One day, dude, one day.

I can actually only think of one person who got married during/right out of college and she was really religious. No one gets married right out of college because college students are just barely adults who probably won’t even be living in the same region after graduation. It’s completely impractical to try and find a marriage partner when you’re 19. Pretty much every woman I know who is now happily married didn’t meet her husband until she was at least mid-twenties, often not until after 30.

lol, also the dating site Plenty Of Fish did a survey and found that women definitely do not want to date men who like Trump. http://www.rawstory.com/2016/04/single-women-agree-no-fcking-way-would-i-date-a-donald-trump-fan/

Judas Peckerwood
4 years ago

@Holytape

Is there a way of making AXE Body spray somehow instantly flammable?

Bad idea. AXE works perfectly well the way it is — a self-applied Mark of Cain that serves as an unmistakeable warning to all who encounter it. Every bit as effective as wearing a sandwich board sign and ringing a bell.

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
4 years ago

I’m a college gal. I want a good man (eventually-I’m nowhere near ready to look for him yet). I already shave my legs and underarms semiregularly (less often in winter when everyone’s covered up and no one can see them anyway) because I like the way they look and feel when they’re smooth. I don’t participate in protests, but I do post here and sign feminist and LGBT-themed Internet petitions.
Guess what? None of these things has a single damn thing to do with the others!
If you needed any more proof that Heartiste is full of shit (but hopefully you didn’t), well, there you go.

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
4 years ago

Sure bro sure, like there totally aren’t men who are better and more relatable than you.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his pronouns)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his pronouns)
4 years ago

Bad idea. AXE works perfectly well the way it is — a self-applied Mark of Cain that serves as an unmistakeable warning to all who encounter it. Every bit as effective as wearing a sandwich board sign and ringing a bell.

In AXE’s defense, they’re getting better.

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
4 years ago

Apparently when women graduate from college they are all suddenly 30 years old.

This made me laugh. The whole “article” made me laugh, too. What nonsense.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

Another day, another fear&smear message from some anonymous right-wing guy.

Fear
Fear, college women, fear the horrible fate that awaits you without a man! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow–but definitely the day after tomorrow, when you’ll have lost your looks and everything else that you ever cared about. Then you’ll wish that you had a Trump-supporting dude by your side! But it will be too late–a sexbot will have snagged him!

Smear
Those 47 percent, the takers, you don’t want to be one of them! They consider themselves entitled to entitlements: unemployment benefits! Social Security! No, you want to grab a guy who works for a big bank that crashes the economy and gets bailed out by the government.

Youthful Indescretion
Youthful Indescretion
4 years ago

“Financial security”? So not only do women immediately go from college-aged to 30+ they are utterly incapable of earning their own income…oh, but the wage gap isn’t real because all women are actually very highly paid for cushy office jobs…apart from the all the ones that need a man to support them…my brain hurts!

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
4 years ago

Hold up. I thought feeemaales can get any man but only the 20% alpha thugs get women, so the “nice” beta “philosophers” are always sad and alone unless someone evil feeemaale is cucking them? Now we learn that they actually have droves of hot chicks competing for them because they’re so rare and precious? Mind blown!

Plus, I was under the impression that the wage gap was a myth that feminists made up to get paid for eating bonbons at our desks instead of working. Why do we need a husband for financial security? Can’t we just collect welfare and get rich off of that?

lkeke35
lkeke35
4 years ago

On the other hand, those sandbags and slogans not only keep the stupid in, and warn away the unwary and innocent, but also serve to keep the stupid from getting out of the frat house and injecting its rotten eggs into the nation’s brain.
Or so we hope!

Number Sequence
Number Sequence
4 years ago

Oh no. Colleges are running out of assholes? What will we do?

Thiazin red
Thiazin red
4 years ago

Ah, I was just thinking that the 2 to 1 ratio didn’t sound right. Then I realized in the next sentence that hes only counting white men. Of course he is.

@ Pandapool

That commercial is surprisingly positive, especially considering every single other commercial for Axe ever.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Pandapool

In AXE’s defense, they’re getting better.

The power of social media!

Hated the beard. Loved the kittenz!

Sarity
Sarity
4 years ago

“Your future financial security, not to mention happiness, depends on beating the competition.”

Sooo much assertion packed within this little snippet.

– Women financially supporting themselves is not a thing.

– No man = no security or happiness.

– Being hitched to a racist misogynist is more preferable than never marrying.

– There’s any competition for scum like this.

Unfortunately for random internet dude, none of this is true. You and your ilk have no leverage. You are not better than nothing. Pro tip: people who are actually desirable partners don’t need to resort to scare tactics based on complete bullshit.

Bina
4 years ago

Note to college females who don’t want to marry “down.”

Nothing good ever comes of messages that begin with such a salutation. And shouldn’t there be a colon, not a period, there?

You already outnumber males on campus 2 to 1.

CITATION NEEDED.

The ever fewer white males on campus are finally getting tired of the relentless and expanding PC environment that blames them from every ill from rape to black crime and at the same time expects them to pay more and more taxes to support the “47%.”

Again, CITATION NEEDED.

And of course he couldn’t resist throwing in racism AND a spurious tax reference there either, could he?

If you want to marry at your social, financial and intellectual level, you are going to have to out compete the other two girls who are trying to land the same lacrosse player/frat boy/computer geek.

This ASSumes that women are going to college in search of husbands, and that anyone wants to marry lacrosse players and frat boys. I don’t think the computer geeks appreciate being lumped in with those bozos; I know I wouldn’t.

It may be fun to chant “Black Lives Matter” and “take back the night,” but your best chance for finding a well matched mate is while you are in college.

Newsflash: Justice isn’t something we do for fun, OR to find “a well matched mate”, whatever THAT may be. What we’re doing is trying to build a better society, one that’s not dominated by wankers like the one who wrote this.

The competition just gets tougher out in the real world (ask your older sister about how much fun the dating game is in your 30’s! ) Your future financial security, not to mention happiness, depends on beating the competition.

Hi, older sister here. I’m in my 40s and still single. The reason for that, I suspect, is because I chose not to approach relationships as a rat race OR a “game”, but as, you know, RELATIONSHIPS. Not everything women do is centred around beating some imaginary biological clock and locking down a partner, you know. We can make our own financial security; we don’t need a lacrosse player or a fratboy for that. Our happiness lies not in men alone, and any woman who believes it does, is a sad creature indeed. Sadder still when the lacrosse-playing fratboy she’s pegged all her happiness and financial security upon leaves her and their 2.1 kids for someone younger, thinner and blonder.

And since when is school NOT the real world? EVERYTHING is the real world, you fucking moron.

So if Trump rallies are increasingly “where the bros are,” you might want to take a shower, shave your legs, put on some nice clothes and head for the next Trump rally.

Hard pass on that. Even when I was young and dim and too eager to please, I knew that I didn’t want one of THOSE. My uni was full of them, and they all repelled me. They weren’t worth shaving my legs for 25 years ago, and they still aren’t now.

Saphira
Saphira
4 years ago

Is there a way of making AXE Body spray somehow instantly flammable?

The whole of the high school here would burst into flames. But to most of the boys in my town, it’s just dude fume — something to keep the stench of puberty at bay. In time they’ll learn.

sevenofmine
sevenofmine
4 years ago

What I’m taking away from this is: Men you wouldn’t find repellent are actually quite rare so you should totally settle for a repugnant, misogynist shithead like me while you’ve got the chance.

Well played, douchebro. Well played.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

This piece is horribly insulting even to young men, since it suppose thoses young men are an uniform block (who is behind them, of course), and that they choose their significant other entirely on vanity points, like attractiveness. And they say it’s feminists who are misandre.

And to women ? Well, I litteraly can’t even grasp the true form of the misogyny inside that piece. My mind revolt, puke, and blank out. I find it way, way worse on women than the usual fare of this blog for some reason. Maybe objectively it’s tamer than trying to deny bodily autonomy or financial independance, but subjectively I find it’s the worse the manosphere was able to create in a long time.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
4 years ago

Wait, I thought all the boys were at Bernie rallies. Did Steinem lie to me? 🙁

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
4 years ago

If college women outnumber college men 2 to 1, then why is the woman in the example competing with TWO other women for the same dude?

Why do these guys always fail so hard at math. Aren’t dudes supposed to be great at math because evolution?

isidore13
isidore13
4 years ago

@IP, of course, when THEY’RE bad at math, it’s just because they’re bad at math. If a female is bad at math, that’s because all females are bad at math.

Freemage
Freemage
4 years ago

That Axe commercial really is about as good as I could ever hope for from a modern grooming product*. No sexist portrayals of women, no rapey vibes, and overall encouraging a positive self-image for their target audience, as well. Part of me wants to force every ad-maker for women’s beauty products to watch it and say, “This. This is how you do it. And the fact that Axe figured it out before you did should make you hang your head in shame.”

*: I can see one further step–a product that encourages you to be you for you, rather than encouraging you to be you for relationship purposes, but that would be amazing in a breakfast cereal commercial these days, let alone a beauty product.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

I love how this whole argument/”suggestion” hinges on these types of men being desirable to the type of feminist women who protest at slutwalks and BLM rallies.

I think he literally believes that these women are going to drop everything and just do what these shitlickers tell them to because they’re obviously doing it for male attention, and not because, you know, these things matter to them.

Because they totally find you and your ilk attractive, Heartsie. Obviously. [/sarcasm]

peaches
peaches
4 years ago

And I’d like to point out that I met my husband of 20 years through that horrible feminist activism. Granted, our first meeting was at a dance club, but we kept meeting because we were doing clinic escorting. That’s right-20 years and it started because of ebil abortion.

Activism puts you in contact with people you have stuff in common with, who would have thunk?

Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
4 years ago

Uh-huh. Yeah, I’m sure women are missing out on a catch like Random Internet Dude.
Let’s say that some people settle after they hit the ripe old age of 25, for the sake of argument. Generally settling would be something like ”well, I may not be able to find an underwear model that is a surgeon and makes waffles every morning, but I find Bob attractive, I like being around him and he makes waffles on the weekends”. No person goes from underwear model surgeon waffle maker to bigoted sexist whinny man child. People may lower their standards*, they don’t just set fire to them.

* I’m not saying that having high standards is necessarily a bad thing, but I have friends who have almost impossible standards and when nobody could live up to them, they lowered the bar.

Moocow
4 years ago

The competition just gets tougher out in the real world (ask your older sister about how much fun the dating game is in your 30’s! ) Your future financial security, not to mention happiness, depends on beating the competition.

Well, I don’t have an older sister, but I’ve got plenty of friends aged 30-50 and they’ve all told me that their life is fucking awesome and they have lots of awesome fucking in their life.

dreemr
dreemr
4 years ago

Wow, I’m glad I didn’t have to follow that awful plan to achieve financial independence and security. I was able to do it all on my own.

And please. I shave my legs for no man.

Saphira
Saphira
4 years ago

If college women outnumber college men 2 to 1, then why is the woman in the example competing with TWO other women for the same dude?

Well, based on dudebro logic all those attractive college-aged “girls” are all out there competing for the alphas while the betas get left either dating the “ugly fatties” or their hands. So if you remove the betas from the picture, then it’s more like 2 to 1 with women outnumbering men. You have to remember that ugly fatties aren’t removed from the equation because dudebros believe all women are competing to ride the alpha male cock carousel, even if said dudebros don’t believe certain women have a snowball’s chance.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
4 years ago

Shorter: “Nobody will date me! Why won’t any of you date me? DON’T YOU [gendered slur] [gendered slur]S KNOW WHAT YOU’RE MISSING?? [longer string of slurs]”

ColeYote
ColeYote
4 years ago

The ever fewer white males on campus are finally getting tired of the relentless and expanding PC environment that blames them from every ill from rape to black crime and at the same time expects them to pay more and more taxes to support the “47%.”

I am? Last I checked I’m a self-identified social democrat and hold some very SJWy beliefs.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Argle Bargle (formerly Carr) | April 14, 2016 at 5:54 pm
Let’s say that some people settle after they hit the ripe old age of 25, for the sake of argument. Generally settling would be something like ”well, I may not be able to find an underwear model that is a surgeon and makes waffles every morning, but I find Bob attractive, I like being around him and he makes waffles on the weekends”. No person goes from underwear model surgeon waffle maker to bigoted sexist whinny man child. People may lower their standards*, they don’t just set fire to them.

QFT.

These guys seem to think they can neg us to lower our bars to their level, and quite frankly, I don’t have the money or the fucks to give for the excavation crew.

(And if I’m “settling” for Jackie, my standards must have been literally not physically possible before.)

ColeYote
ColeYote
4 years ago

This ASSumes… that anyone wants to marry lacrosse players

I dunno, seems like plenty of pretty cool guys in the NLL.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his pronouns)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his pronouns)
4 years ago

(And if I’m “settling” for Jackie, my standards must have been literally not physically possible before.)

comment image

ThatBear
ThatBear
4 years ago

@Kat

No, you want to grab a guy who works for a big bank that crashes the economy and gets bailed out by the government.

This is basically what I think every time I see a bumper sticker that says something like, “WORK HARDER, MILLIONS ON WELFARE DEPEND ON YOU.” I want one that says “WORK HARDER, YOUR CFO’S NEPHEW NEEDS A BIGGER PRIVATE ISLAND.”

Lkeke35
Lkeke35
4 years ago

Ironically, the greatest population of people attending college (and graduating from it) are African-American women. A higher number of them attend then the number of white men, the number of black men and the number of white women.

To the whiny white men: Can’t marry you if you ain’t there (not that black women would need, or want to, if you were.)

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

It’s the Franklin Mint Plate technique for moving shoddy inventory: “Hurry up, ladies! Only 100 firing days left! After that, they’ll be GONE FOREVER!”

It must really chap these guys’ hides that, in an era when men are supposedly such a rare commodity that multiple women are fighting over each one, “nothing” is still a better option than they are.

iknklast
iknklast
4 years ago

From personal experience: being single and over 30 rocks. It isn’t nearly as hard to get dates as mainstream convention insists, and you have your freedom to walk out on any dude who is a racist, a exist jerk. And the idea that women over 30 are sitting around pining for some hot hunk? There are so many interesting things to do, why waste your time?

And I am sure this will come as a horrifying revelation to these young men, but many men (maybe most) don’t automatically shut women out the day they hit majority. Maturity in a partner can be appreciated as much by a man as it is by a woman.

guest
guest
4 years ago

OK, I’m glad I watched that Axe ad, it was charming.

The thing I’m not getting is why the dude writing this thing is addressing activist feminist women–with all those desperate women competing for him, aren’t there already plenty of conventional-looking nonfeminist women for him to date? Why does he need to engage the ones that wouldn’t appeal to him?

Shaenon
4 years ago

If college women outnumber college men 2 to 1, then why is the woman in the example competing with TWO other women for the same dude?

The actual gender ratio on U.S. campuses, according to Time magazine, is about 57:43. Inferior females with their liberal-arts brains would estimate that to mean roughly four women to every three men, not really a huge gender gap. But they would be wrong, probably because boobs get in the way of working a calculator.

It takes men, with their biologically superior STEM skills, to explain that in reality 57:43 is equal to 2:1, which is equal to 3:1, which is why it makes no rational sense that they’re still single. According to their calculations, they should have a date to Brynn’s kegger this weekend. But noooo.

Conclusion: girls are bad at math.

Rainbear
Rainbear
4 years ago

That Axe ad almost makes me want to wear it… I hope they keep that sort of stuff up 🙂

Dr. NicolaLuna, Epic Slut
Dr. NicolaLuna, Epic Slut
4 years ago

Ooh, has “the wall” gone back up to 30? I thought it was 25 these days?

And does he really think that feminist women would be compatible with trump supporters? I once walked out in the middle of a date because the guy I was on a date with votes Tory. I’m a lefty SJW hippy and right wing politics are a deal breaker for me because I want to have a lot in common with a partner. If they do volunteer work and go to the same protests I go to then we’re probably going to be a better match.

Talking of politics, my 8 year old and I went to the protest at downing street last weekend. My son got his picture in the paper and they quoted him! He now thinks he’s famous and will give out autographs to anyone who wants one, so cute.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

@guest:

The thing I’m not getting is why the dude writing this thing is addressing activist feminist women–with all those desperate women competing for him, aren’t there already plenty of conventional-looking nonfeminist women for him to date? Why does he need to engage the ones that wouldn’t appeal to him?

Revenge, and grandstanding for other men. He’s trying to rub feminists’ noses in the idea that there are dire penalties for not toeing the line, using scare tactics he found in a 1972 issue of Cosmo.

That the “penalties” would only frighten non-feminist women doesn’t appear to have entered into his calculations.

I bet he’s also the kind of dude who gloats about how men benefit sexually from a higher ratio of women to men, but then complains bitterly about hookup culture and slutty women. Cake: have or eat?

Priscilla
Priscilla
4 years ago

Hey less hate for lacrosse players, please. My self-confessed Blue Pill husband (he heard about the Red Pill in the Guardian for the first time ever yesterday) represented his university at lacrosse. He’s my White Knight 🙂

Athena
Athena
4 years ago

If these guys hate feminist women so much, why do they simultaneously want them? What other reason is there for being so concerned about what “evil feminists” are up to on college campuses when they could just find a non-feminist chick somewhere. Why try to control women who don’t fit your mold instead of just finding someone who already suits your tastes? Of course, this is really more about controlling campus dialogue than a concern that women won’t find a hubby.

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
4 years ago

@Saphira:

But to most of the boys in my town, it’s just dude fume — something to keep the stench of puberty at bay. In time they’ll learn.

Yeah, most of them do. My younger brother went through a BOD cologne phase. His favorite scent, as I recall, was Really Ripped Abs. It still makes me smile.

Bina
4 years ago

Ooh, has “the wall” gone back up to 30? I thought it was 25 these days?

If they ever put it up to 50 before I hit it, I’m going to dig myself a bomb shelter and crawl into it.