I used to be a fairly regular watcher of Doomsday Preppers, the NatGeo “reality” show profiling a motley assortment of paranoid goofballs preparing themselves (and their sometimes enthusiastic, sometimes resentful families) in their own unique ways for what they saw as the impending end of the world.
One thing that was striking about the show was that each of the doomsday preppers was preparing for a different doomsday.
Some were expecting fairly standard-issue apocalypses involving things like giant earthquakes, economic collapses or worldwide pandemics; others were more, well, creative, worrying about solar flares and, in one case, a shift in the earth’s magnetic poles, which the prepper in question thought would send the continents themselves skittering around the globe.
Now the folks at right-wing garbage site Return of Kings are talking about their own version of doomsday, which they think could be caused not by some giant natural disaster but by the assassination of Donald Trump.
In a post suffused with melodramatic paranoia, RoK contributor David Garrett Brown urges his fellow Red Pillers to stock up on guns, food and medicine in order to prepare for what he predicts will be a period of “panic and craziness that will follow an attack on Trump.”
Never mind that an assassination is highly unlikely, to put it mildly. Never mind that the United States has survived the assassination of several presidents, as well a civil rights giant Martin Luther King, without falling apart.
We survived 9/11. We’ve survived devastating earthquakes and hurricanes and a flu pandemic that killed more than half a million Americans in 1918-1919 (and possibly as many as 100 million worldwide, far more than the number who died in World War I). As awful as all these things were, our country is still here.
It’s clear that Brown’s doomsday scenario isn’t based on a sober look at history. It’s a histrionic reaction to the protests that have dogged Trump at most of his recent rallies:
[V]iolent mobs descended on Trump’s rally in Chicago. Psuedo-journalist Michelle Fields accused Trump’s campaign manager Corey Lewandowski of assault in a bid to stir up white knight antipathy against The Donald and even violence. Protestors in Arizona blocked highways and then complained about being “run over.” The list goes on.
Where to even start with that? It takes a certain amount of chutzpah to pretend that the violence at Trump rallies has been caused by “very angry leftist zombies hellbent on destruction” rather than by the Trump supporters who have been caught on film punching and pushing and otherwise manhandling peaceful protesters.
It takes something more than chutzpah to pretend that Lewandowski’s assault on Fields — also caught on camera — was somehow an assault on Trump and his fans.
Oh, and the fact that a small number of protesters blocked a highway for several hours does not portend THE LITERAL APOCALYPSE.
At various points in his post, Brown writes about the possible assassination of Trump as if it has already happened. In this remarkable and revealing sentence, Brown starts off by referring to an entirely hypothetical assassination, only to switch to past tense at the end, as if the murder had already happened:
If [an assassination] happens, leftwing luminaries and the media will be shown to have no control over their supporters, despite them stoking the very same hatred that ended up killing him.
There’s a reason for this, of course. Brown is so eager to affix blame for the (hypothetical) assassination that he has to pretend it’s a done deal — and that it was leftists (plural) who done it. (Never mind that it’s Trump’s enemies on the right who are far more likely to spend their Saturdays at the gun range.)
Brown, happily playing the victim on behalf of his audience of Red Pill Trumpists, seems to think that veritable pogroms will be unleashed against Trump supporters in the wake of the hypothetical assassination. And so he encourages his readers to stock up on guns for their “self-defense.”
Protecting yourself and your family will be paramount if Trump is assassinated, especially if you have not associated yourself with any leftwing cause … It is up to you to help secure yourself and those you love, including with legal firearms. …
[W]ith an assassination, things will get very bad very quickly. Violence against Trump’s person will beget more criminal acts against his supporters and those aligned even moderately with him (i.e. the Republican Party).
Like a lot of doomsday preppers, Brown seems a little too enthusiastic about the prospect of shooting enemies in alleged self-defense. Indeed, at one point he seems to suggest that Trump supporters should bring guns to future Trump rallies even if the billionaire is still alive and kicking.
In Chicago, leftwing hate groups insisted that free speech and freedom of assembly are rights reserved only for people like themselves. We had fists in this case, but expect far more lethal means going forward.
Great. In fact, other Trump fans have already started talking about forming Trump-friendly militias; RoK contributor and Roosh pal Matt Forney even suggested that Trumpists take guns with them to polling places.
Brown also seems to think that the evil leftists want a crisis as much as he does. Sorry, as much as he doesn’t, wink wink nudge nudge. Why? Because debt.
US government debt is currently at 20 trillion, significantly higher than annual GDP. Liberals and others, although most do not know it, need the crisis of something like an assassination on a controversial conservative figure to absolve themselves of the financial mess they have helped create.
If anyone can make sense of the, er, logic here, let me know.
In addition to buying guns and survivalist supplies Brown also encourages gun-toting, apocalypse-expecting Red Pill Trump fans to join up with “[o]rganizations such as (conservative) churches, gun clubs, informal Tea Party groups, [and] neighborhood watch programs,” because, clearly, what neighborhood watch groups need more than anything is a sudden influx of paranoid dickwads with brand new guns aching for an excuse to shoot “SJWs” and possibly black people generally.
Oh, and Brown also suggests joining veteran’s groups, but I can’t imagine many Return of Kings readers are veterans of any wars other than the ones that take place on Twitter.
In the comments to the post, RoK readers talk about how cool Donald Trump is and happily fantasize about the coming apocalypse.
League of Shadows celebrates what he seems to think will be the inevitable victory of the white man:
BLM and MS 13 discount the white man’s ability to wage war.
We are accomplished in this skill set beyond the capabilities of some feral street gangs.
YosarriansRight expects to see something straight out of a TV show:
It becomes a “The Walking Dead” survival scenario. Those that stick to “tea & crumpets” are dead. Those that improvise, adapt and overcome, survive.
Social Darwinism in action.
Bob Smith urges his comrades not to think small:
If sh*t hits the fan REALLY hard, we should prepare to become warlords so we don’t just survive, but so we can kick the SJWs’ asses and take our country back.
A few commenters are a bit less impressed. Someone called Kay dismisses the doomsday talk as “arrant nonsense.” He asks:
If Trump dies, so what?
Lincoln died and a nation wept, Luther King died and a nation wept, Demosthenes died and his people rightly wept, Timoleon, probably the greatest of them all died, and to this day, I read of him ,and bow in humble respect. …
I won’t be surprised if Trump himself arranged for this rubbish to further inflame his uneducated redneck simpleton crack crowd.
Hardcore Realist, meanwhile, declares the post
a sick joke. ROK’s articles have been on the decline since they start recycling old articles just to satisfy the readers. But this nonsense article is pure insanity. Nobody is conspiring to kill Moron Don since he prattles on about some YUGGGGEEEE wall that he’s gonna build on the border. …
Goes to show your abject stupidity in blindly following the Moron Don. As a white man to another white man, I tell you that Trump has skillfully played with your emotions.You are blinded by his vacuous speeches . Is it any wonder why uneducated jackasses form the majority of Trump-Tards?
Someone calling himself Danger responds:
so how long have you hated white men and western civilization?
Putting more guns in the hands of angry, paranoid bigots rarely ends well.
Another big thing these bozos always neglect in their “The People vs The Man” fantasies is that we’ve got all-volunteer citizen Armed Forces. It’s not like olden times when the Redcoats or whatever were seen as foreign, mostly mercenary interlopers. In any given civil war scenario, if the military is on one side, that side *does* have at least a significant measure of popular support.
Kupo – Ted Cruz is actually worse than Trump because he wholeheartedly agrees with Trump, has the good sense not to say so* and already knows how** to implement his theocratic fantasies.
*to anyone not already aligned with him, anyway
**or has a good idea how, at any rate
It’s probably already been mentioned, but I think some of the would-be revolutionists believe a significant portion of the armed forces will come over to their side.
Just like all those armed people came out in support of the Branch Davidians in Waco, or the BLM Occupiers in Oregon.
@ proudfootz
There’s obviously sexism and racism in the military (as there is in the society soldiers come from) but when the shit hits the fan I suspect the even the whitest and guyiest of white guys will be thinking of his black buddy who saved his ass that time or the woman medic who stopped him bleeding out, rather than a bunch of idiots who know everything there is about SF tactics because they got the high score on some military computer game.
Hmm, I do currently keep bees, garden, and keep chickens for meat and eggs – I have eight cockerels in the freezer at the moment, and brew mead and cider. I’m also a trained emergency first aid responder, retrained every year.
In the event of an apocalypse, I’m mostly interested in meeting up with fiber and metalwork specialists, generating alcohol for fuel and so forth and those are just the selfish immediate needs. My list of community desires is much larger because I am part of a social species and I like people.
During none of this have I any interest in Mad Max shenanigans which will merely destroy resources and promote disease.
“YosarriansRight” uh… Yossarian? The pacifist atheist Jew Yossarian? I don’t think you understood that book at all, guy.
(Okay. Techically an Assyrian stand in for a Jewish author. Still.)
Yes! The interests of PUAs and conservative churches are very, very much in alignment. Ahem, except for that pick-up artistry. If you wanna do that, sir, you’ll have to do it on the down-low.
And the Social Gospel, of course. Even the most conservative churches don’t actually take scissors to those Bible passages. For example,
I’ve left out the verses about the people who don’t help others. Their fate is less pleasant.
@Scildfreja
The farm I learned all of my skills on was just outside of Saskatoon so it could be a stop on the cross-canada post-apocalyptic tour. I’ll send them on to you when they’re done here.
Speaking of Trump and his “angry, paranoid” supporters, earlier today, the BBC published a blog about an infamous “paleoconservative” on Twitter, arguing that she represents “America’s deep divisions”:
The blog focuses mainly on those who claim to have been abused by Pauly, or her supporters, and those who have to deal with the fallout of what she says. Including the deputy chief of police where Pauly lives.
And yet, it paints a picture of Pauly as both abuser and victim. The final paragraph equivocates the opposing “sides”, stating that, “Both sides sling accusations of harassment and abuse. And both sides think their opponents are dead wrong.” But as wrong as harassment of anyone is, it’s hard to feel much sympathy for Pauly. She constantly resorts to witch hunts of anyone she dislikes, even those who haven’t attacked her. The equivalence the blogger sees is not what her blog describes, as far as I can tell.
If – and this is a massive if – “leftists” wanted to incite violence against Trump supporters, why wouldn’t they have a Democrat assassinated? Have someone volunteer to pose as a right-wing racist conspiracy nut, shoot a Democrat (it doesn’t even have to kill them), and then you have carte blanche to crack down on anyone lighter than a paper bag, anyone who wears a cross, etc.
Except this won’t work, because we’ve already had someone shoot a Democratic politician (Gabrielle Giffords), and no one had their guns taken away. We’ve had someone shoot a classroom full of children, and the “liberal conspiracy” couldn’t even get background checks passed. If literal dead children, killed by guns, can’t cause any kind of gun control to be passed, then nothing will.
Eh just give african americans and muslim americans guns to defend themselves and then you’ll get reagan style gun control.
@Alan Robertshaw,
Thanks for the recommendation. I live in Scotland.
@Buttercup ‘As if the Army is going to stare wistfully out the window at Trump supporters waging war in the streets and sigh, “If only we had tanks and tear gas and trained, experienced personnel and military strategists. We’re just no match for keyboard warriors and their stockpiled #10 cans of green beans. They’re PREPARED.” ‘
This statement is full of incredible win, and then reference to #10 cans of green beans just makes it. As someone who does keep a small stockpile of food and water on hand (yay winter storms and hurricanes taking out my power for over a week), I’ve always wondered what the fuck is up with stockpiling huge cans of foodstuffs. Are they going to open up a post-apocalyptic restaurant? Are they planning on literally feeding the army? Do they want to have 15 children?
For fuck’s sake alpha-bros, wait for a sale and stock up on sizes that your lone self will actually use in a sitting or two.
@ nick gotta
Ah brilliant, that means you can legally watch this
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01d99vb/horizon-20112012-9-solar-storms-the-threat-to-planet-earth#group=b006mgxf
*Unless it’s a #10 can of smaller packages, or seeds or whatever.
Trump will make anime real by getting shot. Got it.
@ Victorious Parasol. House point earned.
My my, aren’t they the tough guys.
Don’t worry your pretty little privileged heads, RoK. I highly doubt your little war is ever going to take place other than in your imaginations. You see, Trump is the voice of all assholes, but he’s not going to be facing anything more than losing the elections. Cute attempt at trying to sound intimidating.
Just to be serious for a mo’…
I’m thinking, hold on, how many presidents and senators and governors have been assassinated or murdered in cold blood by now?
Let’s dig some easy sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_assassinated_American_politicians — this looks handy!
Annnnd here’s the prezzies: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_presidential_assassination_attempts_and_plots
What I’m noticing is that revolutions and outright slaughter has not followed the murder of these American people as a general rule of thumb. I wonder where the difference might lie, when you compare to poor Archduke Ferdinand, for example?
I got this weird feeling that in countries where elections are reasonably not-rigged, people can cast a vote or set themselves as candidates, assassination is not a reliable tool of acquiring power. Perhaps functional democracies are way more robust against this sort of unrest? (I’ll note that Olof Palme was a big important fella in Sweden, and noticeably, Sweden is still where it is supposed to be and hasn’t sunken to the sea post-murder/assassination.)
Whereas when you go to a dictatorship, there’s always someone in shadows wanting to grab that sweet, sweet control (who do you really trust?), and in monarchies, order of who-gets-to-warm-up-the-seat thing, with sibling rivalries and fun stuff like that. Let’s not even start on feudalism and barons and fiefdoms, or heaven forbid, warlords.
Like, Brits, correct me if I’m wrong… but a long time ago when being a King/Queen actually meant BIG SERIOUS BUSINESS rather than “someone who looks decent in money and can wave at crowds”, removing competition via various means of death-dealing was way more common?
So it feels like all this is much ado about nothing, and just really disturbing exercise in jacking off to the idea of “then I can shoot people without worries hurr hurr hurr I’m a big man with a big gun”.
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/001/593/peopledie.jpg
@skiriki
I don’t know if it’s fully relevant, but I’d add that the murders of Olof Palme in 1986, and the minister of foreign affairs, Anna Lindh, in 2003, seem to have been not particularly politically motivated.
The Palme murder has of course famously never been resolved, and naturally all sorts of theories have been suggested as to the motive, but the best guess has always been that it was a random act of violence by someone who was working alone.
The Anna Lindh killer was deemed mentally ill, but many years later he changed his story to say that he blamed politicians for the general hopelessness of his situation, and it was an act of vague revenge. He has claimed he was “sad but not sick”. He was also working alone.
@ skiriki
You’re not wrong. For more details I’d suggest you have a cursory glance at the following topics:
The Battle of Bosworh Field
The early part of the reign of Elizabeth I
The execution of Charles I
The events leading to the Bill of Rights 1688
That would give you an overview of the transition from achieving power by blunt force, to assassination, to political manoeuvring. With a revolution thrown in.
Imaginary Petal: Yup, but likewise, this highly hypothetical (I will note, by the way, that I do condemn assassination and violence along with usual opposition to death penalty etc) Death to the Tribble scenario doesn’t need political motivation either. A gloryhound, who thinks they will be immortalized by the act, not giving a single shit besides targeting some hot name? A jilted whoever who carries a grudge from being stiffed in a business deal? General randomness, with too many guns present and one of them going off by accident?
Theory about Palme: it was the dude who killed Batman’s parents.
Alan Robertshaw:
Yeah, this matches with my memory of school history lessons + own research + Horrible Histories TV series*.
* It is totes the best way to learn when you’re dead tired and not in a mood to do much but still yearn for some cerebral action and some factual information (although I’ve noticed it slipping several times with something that has been debunked).
@skiriki
My god, you’re right. It’s literally the exact same crime.