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off topic open thread

Open Thread for Personal Stuff: April 2016 Dogs Enjoying Couch Edition

Dogs making full use of a couch
Dogs making full use of a couch

An open thread for personal stuff. As always with these threads, no MRAs, trolls, jerkfaces, etc.

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VioletBeauregarde
VioletBeauregarde
5 years ago

Dawgies :3

Ichthyic
Ichthyic
5 years ago

those dogs are just looking for the cats…

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Since the last time I bothered to post in an open thread, I started a new job that has higher pay and less stress. It’s such a fantastic switch that I actually feel guilty about it. I get together about once a month with the friends I left behind in that job, to chat and catch up, and I feel so guilty talking about my great new position and fantastic co-workers, because they don’t have those things.

That sounds like a humblebrag now that it’s down in words, and maybe it is, but I don’t know how to handle this guilt. I’ve never felt guilty before about being successful and I don’t know how to process it.

Also: have a cat.

http://i.imgur.com/LU12Wnv.jpg

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

@PoM
Sounds similar to survivor guilt. I used to feel guilty about silly things like enjoying a movie that late fiancé would have loved. It’s hard to get rid of those feelings, but keep telling yourself you deserve to be happy. Eventually you’ll believe it. 🙂

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

@PoM

Congratulations! I hope you feel less guilty as time goes by.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@kupo

I reckon it’s not unlike that, but I hesitate to apply that kind of label because my friends aren’t dead or anything. I think they could find new jobs, better jobs, if they tried at all because this city’s economy is getting pretty robust and jobs are available. They’re just reluctant to look, which I fully understand – it took me years to make this switch myself. The people who find it psychologically easy to switch jobs jumped ship long, long ago and the only ones left when I was there were those of us who have a hard time sending out resumes.

It seems disrespectful to survivors to apply that label to my silly guilt.

eta:
@Victorious Parasol

Thanks! I hope my friends get better jobs. I think that would resolve a lot more problems than me just learning how to shrug at their sorrows.

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

Nothing is really enjoyable anymore. I hope I don’t lose my job, because I need it, but what I really want is to never have to go to work again. Or do anything. I just want to lie down and cry. Things that are fun turn into sources of anxiety and guilt when I can’t bring myself to do them.

Blergh. Sorry to whine. I’ve been sitting on stuff for a while.

dreemr
dreemr
5 years ago

After seeing the beautiful black kitties in an earlier thread I have really wanted to post a pic of my own black kitty. I don’t know if I will do this right.

Forgive me! He’s just very pretty. Persnickety, though, but duh, he’s a cat.

http://postimg.org/image/i4uipzr0j/

ETA well I was not successful but you get the idea.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Nothing is really enjoyable anymore.

I hope you have someone professional to talk to about this, because that’s what happens to me during a down cycle.

Don’t try to make yourself do “fun” things if they aren’t fun for you. You aren’t obligated to perform happiness. It’s okay to act like you’re depressed when you are depressed.

Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
5 years ago

Um, I’m more of a bird person. Although I only own a cockatiel, here is a parrot asleep at the computer, to go with the “sleeping animals” state of things.

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Dodom
Dodom
5 years ago

Can I shill for myself a minute?
I work in a hospital lab, and when it comes to rejected samples (to all nurses: we really hate to do that really it’s not for fun!) the same questions kept coming over and over, so I wrote a book answering them. “So that blood sample is rejected because it’s hemolysed, but what does hemolysis even do to blood? Why can’t the tests be attempted anyway?”
I posted it on Amazon Kindle, it’s only in French for now but there’s a nurse that promised to help me with the technical terms so I can have an English translation soon.

For now:
http://www.amazon.com/tube-jaune-est-h%C3%A9molys%C3%A9-%C3%A9chantillons-ebook/dp/B01DH2XTUU

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

@Viscaria

I’m in the same kind of situation. 🙁

dreemr
dreemr
5 years ago

@Viscaria @Imaginary Petal:

I don’t know either of you, nor am I well-known here. But it seems to me that many Mammotheers have experience with a variety of mental illnesses, including anxiety and depression.

I have suffered from depression my entire life from the age of 12. It has been well-controlled (with medication and anything else that works) for the past 9 years, my last major depressive episode was in 2007.

I don’t know what your experiences may have been. I’m sure you already know that you should talk to an experienced mental health professional – preferably one you trust and have worked with before – but just in case you’ve never been through it before, I’ll mention it.

It’s so hard to see the truth about things when you’re in that hole.

I am truly hoping for the best for both of you.

GenJones
GenJones
5 years ago

I’ve been dealing with my depression by escaping a lot into writing fanfiction and creating an elaborate pre-war backstory for my Sole Survivor. Immersive make-believe FTW

Nequam
Nequam
5 years ago

My dad keeps on keeping on. He’s started his radiation and chemotherapy and I’m hoping for the best.

Other than that, it’s mostly been petty craft stuff: practicing the caterpillar stitch (and realizing that 1mm waxed beading cord, while it looks terrific for the job, is a bit big for the size of books I tend to make); cleaning up and repainting a toolbox (trying to decide if the handle should be leather-wrapped); considering what it’ll take to repair my mom’s old Singer sewing machine…

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
5 years ago

Depression is a tricky beast, isn’t it? I’ve always been an optimist, but the past decade has been so utterly crushing that – well. I wholly empathize and understand with you, Viscaria, and PoM, and dreemr, and – well, everyone. I’ve known enough of it now to know how terrible it is.

My cure has been philosophical, mostly, and sort of what Brony does. Try to figure out how the depression works, what causes it, how it’s worsened, how it improves. It’s slow going, but I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I hope it’s not a train!

I hope you all are doing well in your own journeys. It isn’t easy!

peaches
peaches
5 years ago

Had a visit with my mom that just left me missing my dad. Then the Intrusive Thought Police came by. I just went to my husband and told him the ITP was telling me I didn’t have a true self.

One conversation about the nature of existence led me to remember that whenever I’ve had a hallucination (it happens occasionally), I always know they’re not real. So if ‘not real’ is so easily detected, maybe there’s something to compare it against.

reymohammed
5 years ago

Florida Senate Bill 668 is proceeding to Governor Scott’s desk for ratification. It is an MRA’s dream. Here is a copy of my email to the Governor.

On several occasions, I represented –at greatly reduced cost– women who had either fled abusive marriages, or been jettisoned by (frequently abusive) husbands who had decided to replace them with newer models. Even under the laws of the time, these women were often left without resources and were threatened with the loss of their children if they insisted on their “rights” — rights which existed only on paper for those left without means to pay an attorney. There have been statistics demonstrating that men are, on the whole, enriched by divorce, while women are left impoverished. I can’t cite them off the top of my head, but my own observations suggest that, except for women who have access to wealth in the first place, this is true, *even under the present law*. The bill arriving on your desk will shred what few protections exist.

Some “men’s rights” advocates are genuinely concerned with issues affecting men. Most are simply misogynists, who have never opened a single men’s shelter, taken action to address sexual violence against men, sponsored research into men’s health, seriously sought to have military service requirements fall on both sexes equally, tried to relieve male homelessness, or done anything else calculated to relieve men’s problems. They are interested solely in hurting *all* women, whom they see as protean lampreys, without individuality or even humanity. Such sentiments cannot be allowed to shape our laws. Veto this bill and appoint a competent task force to frame policies that better accord with reality.

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
5 years ago

I too have (well-controlled) depression.

It does get better, though it’s hard to see when you’re at the bottom.

It’s not easy to get help, but if you can, do. It’s hard to believe it, but things like therapy and meds do help a lot of people. They could help you.

Just remember: mental health IS health. If you became diabetic, you’d go to the doctor.

Having a chemical imbalance isn’t magically different because it’s in your brain rather than your pancreas.

Hit up your local doctor as a first step; if you can’t bring yourself to do it (this can be very difficult, like many other tasks that are simple when you’re not sick) ask a friend to make the appointment for you and come with you.

They’re actually happy to do this and no, you’re not being a nuisance to them, because it feels good to do nice things for people, especially when they’re as easy (for a non-sick person) as making a phone call and hangin’ out. Then they get to feel smug about being a good person for a while and you get a hand when you need one.

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

@Everyone experiencing depression
You are amazing. You work so much harder at everything than most people just to get through the day, and that’s an absolutely wondrous feat. Keep up the hard work. I know it’s not rewarding right now and it’s not easy, either. Don’t push yourself too hard; you’re allowed to relax sometimes. Don’t forget that you matter and that you are fucking awesome.

Get ready for some cute!

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weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

I’ve been having thoughts lately that are very eating disordery. Whether they turn into actual disorder eating remains to be seen, but I didn’t buy all that much food at my weekly grocery store trip today.

It wasn’t triggered by our recent discussions about weight and starvation. The thoughts were in my head just a couple of days before that. They came from nowhere.

I’m hoping that it’ll pass now that it’s getting warmer and sunnier. Vitamin D deficiency does bad things to my brain. I wasn’t even going to mention it, but everyone else was talking about their jerk brain stuff so I thought I’d add mine to the pile.

Hugs and solidarity for all those who want it.

http://imgfave-herokuapp-com.global.ssl.fastly.net/image_cache/133050376488271.jpg

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

So, my plans to move cross-country are becoming more and more solid. Finances are still a huge issue, but those are looking less and less huge as I find new ways to move my (tiny amount of) shit.

Luckily, I don’t own any furniture beyond my computer chair, and that’ll most likely get replaced once I move because it’s broken anyways, so that’ll most likely be thrown out before I leave.

The rest of it is planning a yard sale to downgrade my shit so there’s a lot less of it, and going through it to find what I don’t want or use anymore either.

Most of the stuff I’m moving is like 45% books, 50% clothes, and the remainder is computer and misc stuff.

I’m also thinking of setting up a GoFundMe or something in the interim, but I’m still working through feelings of guilt over that. (I’m also still working on enough stuff to feel good about starting up an Etsy store.)

I know me moving out will be a huge help to my mental health (I’ve had quite a few mental breakdowns because of my family, and have contemplated suicide a few times while living here), and it’ll help me find work as I can’t find anything here, and it’ll get me out of this old house that has mice and a bug problem, but I still feel guilty for even thinking of asking, really.

It’s also getting super hot here, which isn’t helping my motivation to work on things that could earn me money any. I get lazy when it gets above 75 degrees. It’s just way too hot.

If my grandma didn’t get on my ass about sleeping through the day instead of just letting me sleep when I’m tired (“It’s not healthy!”) I’d totally just work at night and sleep through the day because it’s cooler and quieter and people don’t bother me as much, so I can focus a lot easier. I’ve always been a night owl, but of course, I can’t actually be a night owl around here, because my grandma, as much as I love her, thinks she knows everything.

At least I’ve dropped the idea of me moving to my family (barring the bits about me hating the way they treat me) and they seem pretty okay with it.

I can’t wait for August. I’ll be out of this house come hell or high water and things will be better (I hope).

reymohammed
5 years ago

Here is the email for Governor Scott:

Rick.Scott@eog.myflorida.com

dreemr
dreemr
5 years ago

I just want to amplify what @Jarnsaxa said: you are NOT a burden to your friends! It’s hard to believe when you’re in the throes, but you can trust them. They DO want to help you. They DO want to know if you’re struggling and suffering. They CAN understand.

Having been through it, I recognized it in another friend of mine here in real life. And it’s just like Jarnsaxa says – I went to her. I talked to her. I told her I was going to make an appointment and that I would go with her. I did go with her and I held her hand. I was very very happy to do it. I would do it again for anyone I care about.

I know I would not have lived very far into my 20s if another person, a woman who had also battled depression and anxiety, hadn’t recognized it in me and reached out to me.

Please, you don’t have to suffer. When you are at the point where nothing sounds fun, where you can’t imagine ever feeling happy or excited about something ever again – the time when you honestly feel least like taking action – that’s when you really have to take care of yourself. Please do go see your doctor, or go to a clinic. Talk to a friend you trust. Tell them what’s happening, ask them to help you take those first steps, or repeat steps if you’ve been through this before.

You feel so alone in depression, it lies to you – you are NOT alone. You are important and you are loved, even if you can’t feel it.

HeinzD
5 years ago

I have been working on my idea for an animated series for about seven years now. I’ve had some good success getting it in front of people but for the most part they want a lot of changes that I’m really not comfortable with. For example, I have two male, two females, and one bug eyed alien for main characters and I have been told many, many times that I would have better luck if I made it four males and a bug eyed alien. It would appeal to boys who buy more toys and who don’t want to play with girl characters. I was told outright that if I made that change, a certain company would buy the idea from me. I told them no because representation is vital to the me and to the story.

I have also been told that if I’m going to keep it with 2 males, 2 females (and a bug eyed alien) then I need have a romance between a boy and a girl. I nixed this as well because I want to show pre-teens and teens that boys and girls can be and are friends with no romance involved. Besides, there’s plenty of possibilities of outside-the-group romance.

Anyways, my personal thing is I just finished the script to turn it into a five part comic book series and managed to score a pretty good penciller and a great colourist for the cover.

Feel free to click on the link in my name to check out the webpage.

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

I think my problem is that (against my own better advice) I became really invested in medical treatment for my newly-dxed ADHD (inattentive type) as The Thing That Would Fix All The Things. The reality has fallen short of those expectations.

Adderall allowed me to do so much housework on the weekend (hooray!) but it increased my anxiety so much that I had a mild panic attack at work. They lowered the dosage until I had no side-effects – but also no main effects, so. As of this weekend I’m on Concerta, which doesn’t seem to be doing too much.

I can’t really kick the feeling that maybe I don’t have ADHD, maybe I really am just lazy and bad at being an adult, and I’m happy to glom on to any mental health-related excuse for my own failures.

FrickleFrackle
FrickleFrackle
5 years ago

My friend’s birthday was pretty fun! I went with her to Japanese place, pretty nice place too, reservation and everything. The table was big grill and I watched the chef prepare the food in front of everyone. My favorite was the fried rice, and I added soysauce. I gave M her presents, a vaguely-creepy doll, a black wide-brimmed hat with a fake flower on it, and some black and white striped thighhigh stockings, and she said she liked them! I hope we can hang out again soon~

eli
eli
5 years ago

That sounds like a humblebrag now that it’s down in words, and maybe it is, but I don’t know how to handle this guilt. I’ve never felt guilty before about being successful and I don’t know how to process it.

Was that POM? Good for you! I know the guilt so much from when you do well and I wish I could wish it away for you. Your words have helped me so much these last couple of weeks, so thank you.

Mom starts chemo and radiation tomorrow. Someone else said that above too. All the best to everyone going through tough stuff. My almost 102-year-old narcissistic “father” is being impossible and making it all about him.

I just wish everyone here, who, even though I mostly lurk, gives me so much that they don’t even know…ok, this makes no sense, but thanks

And thank you Dave for the adorable puppies. I’d give anything to be one of those couch cushions.

dreemr
dreemr
5 years ago

@Viscaria please let up on yourself. The human body is tremendously complex, the human mind no less so. Medications can be a godsend but it can take time and patience to find the right ones at the right dosages.

I’m so sorry it’s so hard. I wish I could say there is a magic bullet but this is why we call it “managing depression” (in my own personal case) and not “curing depression”. It doesn’t always work, and it doesn’t always work right away. There can be side effects.

Please stick with it, although I know it is disappointing. Keep investigating. Work with your health care provider/psychiatrist/whoever it is you trust. Be honest with them.

It *DOES* get better and it *IS* possible to manage these illnesses with pretty good results. I’m not kidding or being flippant when I say I wouldn’t have survived my 20s without medication. Even though I have things well-managed now, I know that it wouldn’t take much to upset the balance, and I have to be prepared for that.

dreemr
dreemr
5 years ago

Aw FrickleFrackle, it sounds like you had a nice time with your friend.

My sympathies to everyone with a loved one dealing with cancer. I lost my mother last summer to it as well. It’s a hard row.

authorialAlchemy
authorialAlchemy
5 years ago

I’m almost done with my short comic! I am also going to be a senior next semester. @_@ I’m not ready. I’m not good enough.

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

Warm thoughts to everyone here. Anyone who is dealing with depression or any other kind of illness, I’m so sorry that you have to go through this and I wish you well.

@dreemr, recognize your name & avatar and I appreciate you sharing your experiences and insight. :3

FrickleFrackle
FrickleFrackle
5 years ago

Aww, my sympathy to anyone with diseases or mental health that needs addressing (is this ableist to say? And that’s not a gotcha I mean it call me out if I need to be called out please). And yes, medicine does help, but it rarely solves everything.

Yeah, today was pretty fun! And I dunno how good it is but I finished my history paper today after my parents gave it some feedback.

Skiriki
Skiriki
5 years ago

1) I have been having migraine all weekend long.

2) Carisma is in heat, and is roaring 24 hours a day. Roaring, people. I’ve never heard such noise coming from a tiny kitten like her. My head hurts even more.

3) I have to go and slip “please excuse our cat” explanation sheets to people in our apartment complex, in an hour or so, once they’ve left to work…

4) It looks like the tom that was planned to accompany her can’t make it here this week. Which means we gotta wait ’till she’s in heat again. Oh gods.

Cats, being cute, and not at all noisy:

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/CffnlCgWEAANdK3.jpg

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
5 years ago

http://i.imgur.com/xOZKU6K.jpg

I need these in my life yesterday.

NickNameNick
NickNameNick
5 years ago

I do love me some Shiba Inu puppies, or any kind of puppies – except the Sad or Rabid kind (if you get the reference) – though I’ll always love the kittehs.

Been an emotional mess these days otherwise, after landing a job I loved and wanted to keep…only to be laid-off two weeks later. I’m trying to get re-hired in the same place as a sales rep, in the hope my previous two weeks and having had the position before – as well as getting along well with the woman in charge of the hiring – might work in my favor.

I applied to a burger place I’ve been a regular at for a long time now and live right next to, but now I can’t go near the place without feeling enraged – not after the outright disrespect I received when checking in about my resume. I don’t fucking care if they had a “bad day” or whatever, because I didn’t say or do anything to to deserve that response. I loved the place where I wanted to work…and I was treated like a piece of shit…

Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
5 years ago

Thank you all for providing fluffy critters :3 I’m kind of sick and they really brighten up my day.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@NickNameNick
I’m sorry to hear that the burger place treated you disrespectfully. Other people can be a real pain sometimes! I hope that you find a job soon.

I work as a freelance editor. At the end of 2014/beginning of 2015, I went for two months without significant work. And then the same thing happened at the end of 2015/beginning of 2016. That’s too much downtime for my budget to handle. So I’m struggling. The economy seems to be changing. I’ve been doing this gig for a long time, and I had more work years ago. I haven’t been able to raise my rate in ten years. And I know that I’m a better editor now! I really am a good editor and I love the work. But I’m taking a community college class, improving my computer skills, with the intention of getting an administrative assistant job again if I have to.

I’m a free spirit with social anxiety and a fear of men with authority. So I’ve never been happy in the corporate world. Plus when I’m alienated, I’m bored. Really, really bored. But I just have to be a grown-up about this situation.

Right now, I have enough work, thank Katie.

To everyone who’s struggling: Keep on keeping on.

And to everyone who’s doing well: That’s terrific!

The fuzzy animals and the parrot made me go Squeee!

EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

Massive hugs and/or warm wishes of support to everyone here who’s coping with depression.

I’m very fortunate that I’ve managed to find a job which suits my mindset well enough and has enough flex in it that I can survive the black days, but I recognise that this is sheer luck and is not the reality for everyone.

Viscaria, IP, dreemr, Jarnsaxa – you are not alone. You are not without people who care about you. If nobody else cares then I care, and if you have nobody else to talk to then please talk to me.

WWTH – all my best wishes for the ED. I’ve been in quite a bad place myself over the past month or so due to stress elsewhere in my life but am emerging. If you need someone to talk to non-judgmentally then I’d be happy to be a sympathetic ear.

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
5 years ago

I can’t really kick the feeling that maybe I don’t have ADHD, maybe I really am just lazy and bad at being an adult, and I’m happy to glom on to any mental health-related excuse for my own failures.

I am NOT a doctor. However, it’s important to note that quite a lot of mental health problems have an important diagnostic criterion in them: “to the extent that it interferes with your daily life.” From my nonmedical point of view, it does sound like something is interfering with your daily life.

Another important thing to note is that people respond to meds quite differently and it may well take multiple tries to get the right stuff and the right amount, regardless of what the illness is.

And the third thing I wanna say is, I’m a fairly lazy and untidy person myself, but that’s me, that’s not my illness. When I was ill I didn’t do anything, because I was ill, and it made me feel sad and guilty and useless. Now I still don’t clean as much as I should, but I scrape along just fine doing a minimum to keep me content. I’m not even sure the amount I actually clean changed, but the way I feel about it did.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

I don’t think there’s a particularly high incidence of madness amongst the people on this board. We’re just less afraid to talk about it. Mental illness is more prevalent than most believe.

I think my problem is that (against my own better advice) I became really invested in medical treatment for my newly-dxed ADHD (inattentive type) as The Thing That Would Fix All The Things. The reality has fallen short of those expectations.

It took me almost a decade to find a medication regimen that would control my bipolar disorder. I used to call it my medication adventure. LOL I don’t want to discourage you with that fact, because it probably won’t take you nearly that long. One of my problems is that I rarely display the stereotypical “manic” phase, although I do occasionally. So it looked like depression, and it was treated like depression for a good while. Surprise! That doesn’t actually work when it’s not depression!

What I’m getting at is that initial failures with medication don’t mean that medication can’t help. There are a lot of medications out today, and the way we metabolize them varies between people, a lot.

I can’t really kick the feeling that maybe I don’t have ADHD, maybe I really am just lazy and bad at being an adult, and I’m happy to glom on to any mental health-related excuse for my own failures.

It’s also possible that you really don’t have ADHD, but some other problem that just looks like it, the same way my bipolar was misdiagnosed as depression for years and years. Stick with treatment and give it a chance. You’re not a failure if it doesn’t work the first or second or fifth or sixth time. The treatment is failing you, not the reverse.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Also, @Viscaria and everyone,

If you’re dealing with your primary care physician and medication fails 2 or 3 times, really think about seeing a psychiatrist. PCPs are capable of doing medication management of straightforward mental illness that responds to the ol’ standby treatments, but if you’re not getting help from that, you need to see someone who is knowledgeable enough to write you prescriptions off-label. Specialists keep up with the latest literature so they know when some random drug intended to treat a completely different condition has been found to work for yours. Taking a drug off-label doesn’t mean you’re doing anything illicit.

Mish
Mish
5 years ago

@dreemr – I clicked on your kitty link and he is GORGEOUS. Wow. What’s his name?
Everyone managing depression – every single bit of advice and help offered in previous comments is spot-on and fantastic.
All the fuzzy animals and the sleepy parrot are adorable. They are especially appreciated after the toxicity that found its way onto the recent thread (I will never, ever look at cupcakes the same way again).

@eli – I have lurked here for ages too before commenting, and I know exactly what you mean!

This is the kind of thread where I want to reply to every single comment, but I only have half an hour before I need to be in bed … I wish all of you the very best, and thanks for being who you are.

dreemr
dreemr
5 years ago

@Jarnsaxa again writes it the way it is.

I, too, am much more of a dreamer (uh, nickname), a thinker, a dawdler and a procrastinator. I don’t like to get up early, and I like to stay up late. I require a certain amount of what I call “staring into space” time. I don’t like housework (although I do like a clean house).

I spent years hating myself for these traits. Growing up in the Midwest, where “Work Ethic Is Everything!” drove me into the laziness closet. As @Jarnsaxa says so well, the way I felt about it changed when I was able to get my depression under control.

I’m out and proud about my natural proclivities now. I don’t make excuses and I don’t present myself as someone I’m not anymore. My house is never “drop-in” ready – but fortunately, I’m fairly introverted, so the only people who come over know me well enough and love me well enough to NOT CARE. I keep it reasonable – thank goodness I don’t also have the issues of hoarding or similar anxiety disorders. I strive for “good enough”.

On the weekends, I sleep until 10 a.m. – something no one in my rural area would ever admit to. Sometimes I stay up until 4 a.m. and sleep until noon! I only vacuum once a week – and I have a dog and cat that shed enormously. I keep our clothes clean, and I keep food put away. I like to cook and have been practicing and learning cooking much more in the past year, so I keep the kitchen fairly neat.

And if I don’t feel like it? If I want to just hang out with my kid and watch Netflix all weekend? I let it happen. I give myself permission. It’s okay to do the dishes another day. It’s okay to vacuum Monday instead of Saturday.

Its a trade off, but one thing managing my depression has done is make that interior harpy of mine stfu for once so I can be good to myself for a change.

dreemr
dreemr
5 years ago

@Mish – thank you so much (I’m a little embarrassed that I posted his pic but if you can’t post a cat pic here at WHTM, then where CAN ya?). His name is Darby, he’s 4 years old, and he fancies himself quite the Lord of the Manor.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

@dreemr

I only vacuum once a week – and I have a dog and cat that shed enormously.

Yup, I have the same problem. I struggle to keep up with vacuuming once a week, and we have two cats. I also thing there’s something about me personally that makes dust form at alarming rates. Wherever I live, it’s always been very dusty.

My laptop recently had problems with overheating and shutting down, so I handed it over to tech support to see if they could fix it for me. They said they had never, ever seen so much dust inside a computer. I resorted to making up a lie about having 6 cats, because it felt embarrassing to admit that I live in a pool of dust.

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
5 years ago

Thanks EJ.

And right back at you. I know their are a lot of people who don’t believe men can get EDs, or are super judgmental about it because it’s a girl problem.

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

@Dreemer and Petal
I almost never vacuum because my husband usually reaches the tipping point before I do. He vacuums every other week, sometimes we go longer than that. And we have two cats. I used to feel extremely self-conscious about the state of my floors, but now that my depression is under control I’m okay with it.

@Petal
Meh, it always feels like the most dust you’ve ever seen when you open up a really dusty computer. Thing is, that can have more to do with the way the computer is designed than anything you have control over. And with a laptop it’s not like you can pop the case open and spray an air can in there.

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