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Open Thread for Personal Stuff: April 2016 Dogs Enjoying Couch Edition

Dogs making full use of a couch
Dogs making full use of a couch

An open thread for personal stuff. As always with these threads, no MRAs, trolls, jerkfaces, etc.

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Tracy
Tracy
4 years ago

@Skiriki @GenJones @Brony – thanks. I’m flailing in the wind here so your input is a huge help.

His triggers are… well, me, unfortunately. I’m hopeful that something like CBT will help him deal with the tick-tick-tick. I’m also terrified that the assessment counsellor will think I am cheating on him, though those are just my fears that maybe we won’t overcome this and I’ll lose the love of my life.

I have cheated on him in the past – we got together in our early 20’s (we’re 40 now) and were a mess of various issues (depression, substance abuse, etc) and shit happened. We separated for 2 years and got our respective shit together. Been really stable and happy for well over a decade now. But he suddenly felt like he was neglecting me (I did not feel this way) and it triggered this cascade of anxiety and then obsessive thoughts.

Hoping counselling will help him manage this. He’s suffering so much. I’m not really sure what to do other than be there, hold him when he needs it, and try not to get angry or feel defensive when he decides that (for example) I’m running a program to hide my internet history, or that me using the downstairs bathroom means I was sneaking off to text the guy I am (not) seeing.

Also regular use of things like alcohol can make OCD worse. I’m an occasional drinker because of that.

He’s found this to be very, very true. Interesting, because he struggled with (and overcame) substance abuse issues; though, he’s always used pot to control anxiety and recently quit using it entirely.

There are even benefits to having an OCD. One is essentially better at sensing these parts of consciousness and perception and when one gets control of them they are tools that are valuable for observation.

He’s the most observant person I’ve ever met, and records information that doesn’t even make it into my awareness. He’s always been hyper-aware – I often compared him to a horse, always scanning the environment, always with an ear cocked and an eye open. He would be a devastatingly good PI.

eli
eli
4 years ago

Robert, that is such a beautiful sentiment. I try to convince myself that it is true, but I was taught the opposite. 🙁

My mother and I are having major communication difficulties. It’s like she’s turning into my father, expecting me to drop whatever I’m doing to fix her tablet or make a copy for her.

I just stopped making dinner to spend 15 minutes getting her e-mail to work again and now Dad has to eat, so I have to leave the kitchen for c. 45 minutes (long story). So I have to start from total scratch with no blood sugar. I should have told her I would do it later, but she has this way of going all whiny “oh, it’s no big deal, don’t worry about it. I can do without” that’s a little too much and I’m pretty sure actually means, I would like you to fix this for me right now.

So I said something. I said, in the future, let me know AFTER dinner and I’d be happy to fix it. I know she’s upset, because she’s upstairs stomping and screaming at Dad and slamming stuff around. I’m sure I’m in for an “I can’t do anything right” in my near future. And tears. And “you’re just like him.”

Maybe I am, but I really hope I’m not. Both of them love playing The Blame Game (TM). I’m not blaming her, I just occasionally point out things that I would prefer. I thought that was healthy boundary setting, but maybe I’m being unreasonable.

I’d be a lot more comfortable if it were a two-way street. But she (with her words) always insists everything is fine and she doesn’t care, but then she stomps and screams and cries.

I feel like a monster.

Oh well, cowbell. Kitchen is clear!

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
4 years ago

I thought that was healthy boundary setting, but maybe I’m being unreasonable.

I’d be a lot more comfortable if it were a two-way street. But she (with her words) always insists everything is fine and she doesn’t care, but then she stomps and screams and cries.

I feel like a monster.

“I will do that in half an hour” is the farthest possible thing from a monstrous statement. What’s unreasonable is expecting you to drop everything to tend to some minor email connectivity problem and throwing a tantrum like a 5 year old.

Next time your mom says something like, “Oh, it’s no big deal, I’m sure I can do without,” just take her at her word. Yes, I know the metamessage is different; ignore the metamessage and believe the face value of the words. From now on, “It’s no big deal” means “It’s no big deal,” full stop.

Let her throw her tantrums when her passive aggression stops working. If she starts in with “I guess I can’t do anything right!” she’s grown up from 5 to 14, but is still not behaving like an adult. Just let her be upset and don’t step in to soothe her. She’s a grown-ass adult, not a toddler with a boo-boo.

I’m assuming here that you aren’t financially dependent upon her. If you are, then you’re the best judge of how far you can push boundary-setting, and you should ignore me if you know what I’m saying is unworkable or will jeopardize you in some way.

eli
eli
4 years ago

PoM, you don’t remember the last time you helped me, but here you go again.

[I did write a long thing here, but, oh well]

Thank you again.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Tracy
Here’s what helps me:

1. I remove myself from the argument going on in my brain. Instead, I focus on my feelings. Do I really feel that ________ (fill in the blank).

2. Also, I remind myself that life is a series of risks. Let’s face it, no one is getting out of life alive! Lots of bad things could happen. I could get hit by a bus. It’s more productive to focus on the positive.

3. If something bad does happen, I trust myself to come up with a plan B. If I worried that my spouse might cheat on me, plan B would be to get a divorce. I’m not helpless.

4. Ultimately, if my spouse cheated on me, that would be his problem. I might as well trust him–unless he proves me wrong. And if he does prove me wrong, that’s on him. I’m not in charge of him.

Good luck to both of you!

PS: I’ll send another comment. This one is lyrics to a song.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Tracy

This is a 1967 (Summer of Love!) song by the Young Rascals. The last line is sung softly and slowly.


How Can I Be Sure

How can I be sure
In a world that’s constantly changing
How can I be sure
Where I stand with you

Whenever I
Whenever I am away from you
I wanna die
Don’t you know I wanna stay with you

How do I know
Maybe you’re trying to use me
Flying too high can confuse me
Touch me but don’t take me down

Whenever I
Whenever I am away from you
My alibi is telling people
I don’t care for you

Maybe I’m just hanging around
With my head up, upside down
It’s a pity, I can’t seem to find someone new
Who’s really as lovely as you

How can I be sure
I really, really, really wanna know
I really, really, really wanna know, oh

How’s the weather
Whether or not we’re together
Together we’ll see it much better
I love you, I love you forever
You know where I stand with you

How can I be sure
In a world that’s constantly changing
How can I be sure
I’m sure with you.

GeekySciFiGirl
GeekySciFiGirl
4 years ago

Just wanted to say thank you for all the kind responses. It took me a couple days before I could bring myself to look at any responses but please understand I do truly appreciate them. I’ve been telling myself for years now I’ve been making a huge deal out of a minor event, that people have it much worse and I should just get over it. Thank you again for the compassionate responses. A lot of what I have read in the comments on this website over the year I’ve been following has lead me to rethink things. So thank you again.

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
4 years ago

@kupo, mildymagnificent
Thanks for the advice!

Robert
Robert
4 years ago

One of the big challenges in life for me right now is our older son’s mental illness.

I’m handling it as well as I am for this one reason – I know that it’s not because of anything we did.

BUT the fact that he is doing as well as he is IS because of what we’re doing. And we will keep on doing everything we can, as long as we can. Because we’re his fathers, and that’s what we’re here for. We didn’t become parents because it was expected of us, or because it was the soft option – we did it because we wanted someone to have parents, and we were lucky enough to get to be his.

Mish
Mish
4 years ago

@Robert, that’s damn hard. It sounds like your son is lucky to have both of you (and you’re lucky to have him). All the best for your family 🙂

Tracy
Tracy
4 years ago

@Kat – thank you! #1 seems to help him most of the time.

@Robert, you all sound lucky, and like wonderful people. 🙂

Robert
Robert
4 years ago

Well, now that I’ve softened you up with my humanity. . .
One big issue I’ve been wrestling with on a purely personal basis – art.

I want to draw, but I don’t know why. Sitting down to sketchbook and pencils is the most stressful moment of the day for me. There are people who doodle while on the phone, but not me. Even when I get lucid in a dream, one of my usual questions for dreampeople is ‘Why is it so hard for me?’. I look through all the drawing instruction books at the library, hoping that one of the artists will slip and pass along the Secret, the thing that artists know that the rest of us don’t.*
What is it?! Maybe it’s because my eyes don’t work right? Is it that I’m left eyed but right handed? Why can’t I do this?
For some reason, I’m unwilling to accept that this is something I’m just not supposed to do.

Any responses would be appreciated.

*This is reinforced by the time I (successfully) tried to learn what ‘key’ is. I did eventually learn, despite the absence of any understandable explanation discovered in six months of reading.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

So, when you want to draw, is it that you want to create art, that you want to get something out on paper, that you have an amazing vision, or some other reason? When you can’t make it work is it that you don’t know what to draw, don’t know where to start, try but it comes out wrong, or something else?

I have a similar issue; I want to write but have writer’s block. I’m trying to work through it but doing a poor job. I want to write because it’s something I’ve always enjoyed and I have always felt I could do it well. My problem right now is that I don’t have a good story in my head. I tend to make up stories as I’m drifting off to sleep and in the past when I’ve written it’s been those, but in the past few years I’ve realized how those stories are just full of the same dull tropes I’ve read a million times and I don’t feel it’s worth my time to put energy into them. I’m trying to push forward by a) examining my stories to find ways to improve and b) in the meantime writing about dreams I had or just a scene or character so that I can practice. But I feel no passion when I do this so it’s hard. I feel a lot less of everything lately, so I think a depressive episode is starting, but I’m trying to keep my mind and body healthy this time by exercising both.

I’m just rambling now. Basically, you’re not alone, but you should look deeper at the problem. You can’t fix a problem without knowing the cause.

Robert
Robert
4 years ago

Thanks, Kupo. That does help.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ kupo

The key to creating good stories is 10% writing, 90% editing. So just get down the first draft as quickly as you can. Don’t worry about quality there or trying to get it right. Then do it in iterations. Go over the draft once and make a few refinements. If you get stuck or there’s a plot hole or something, don’t worry. Just move on and do the easier changes. Keep doing that. Remember a work of art is never completed, only abandoned.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
4 years ago

What are you planning to draw, and what skill level do you have? If you’re a super-beginner, and you want to draw from life, it may be easiest for you to start with tracing from photographs.

Just literally put the thinnest tracing paper you can find over a photograph, attach it so it doesn’t slide, and draw a line where you see a change in color in the photograph. For extra easiness, turn the photo upside-down before you start, so that your preconceptions about what the image means don’t get in your way.

The next step is to do the same thing but the paper is next to the photo instead of on top of it.

Then the next step is to draw from life instead of from a photo, but by that point your mind may be trained to see the lines instead of objects in space so turning real life upside-down may not be necessary. 😉

FrickleFrackle
FrickleFrackle
4 years ago

I can’t draw, but I did draw some awful art for someone I follow online not too long ago. It was mostly done as a joke, and apparently it worked in that regard. I’d put a link but I’m not sure if I should. Not raunchy or anything but I shouldn’t spam threads with links.

Also, anyone here know about Neil Gaiman? I gotta give an oral report and a paper about an author’s life, and I chose him. I don’t read much, but I hear he’s great, and he married Amanda Palmer, so that alone is worth writing about.

Mish
Mish
4 years ago
Reply to  FrickleFrackle

@FrickleFrackle, we were talking about Gaiman over on another thread – the one with the flat earth video. He’s an absolute legend as an author and human being. I’m happy to swamp you with info and I’m sure that others here can too 🙂

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ fricklefrackle

Neil seems to be pretty popular on this site so I’ll leave it to others to contribute. I’ll just chip in that he did his first professional writing for the comic “2000AD” with some unsolicited one off short story ideas.

FrickleFrackle
FrickleFrackle
4 years ago

Also, I don’t know which thread to put this in, but I think about toxic masculinity a lot, and how a lot of it isn’t enjoying stuff, it’s just a big pissing contest. For example, cars and guns. It’s not about driving a car or firing a gun, it’s specifically having the power to drive like a prick, or to fantasize about violence. Like, what is the point or even the appeal in a Hummer? They take up a lane, aren’t hugely practical, aren’t even built the same a military HMMWV. Plus, I was looking at how guns are marketed, and was disgusted by an ACR advert that said “Consider your man card reinstated”. To be fair, it had a camouflage wrap, but I still don’t think about automatic rifles being used in hunting, and that’s not even legal in some states.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@Alan
Maybe I’ve been approaching it wrong, then. Most of my writing experience is professional technical writing and essays, where it’s more like 60% pre-writing, 10% first draft, and 30% editing. I’ve been working on stuff like research (I want some realism even if it’s fantasy) and trying to come up with the broad story.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ kupo

I think it is different for fiction writing. My experience in technical writing mirrors yours. I tend to gather material for the different areas I need to address in the finished product and get them roughly in shape separately before then trying to mesh them together (I do still spend the majority of time polishing and editing)

With fiction though I just rush to get the idea down. Once that’s done I can relax and take my time. It’s almost like the first draft is the ‘pitch’, then the next iteration is the ‘treatment’ before moving on through the various revisions to the final (or at least, the last) version of the story.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@FrickleFrackle

Also, I don’t know which thread to put this in, but I think about toxic masculinity a lot, and how a lot of it isn’t enjoying stuff, it’s just a big pissing contest.

I agree. The prize for being the most “masculine” (i.e., showing no emotion except anger, never making a mistake–or never making one that you’ll admit to, never relaxing, always “winning”) is to be miserable. And you don’t understand the reason for your misery, which is that you’re cut off from the rest of humanity.

Or maybe you do understand why you’re miserable but would still rather “win” than be happy.

Step right up, gentlemen, for your chance to win the Stupidest Prize Ever!

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

On a different note, either my depression is improving or I’m just having a good day. I made peirogi to have as a quick meal during the week (and some to freeze). This is a slow process because I can’t have gluten, so any dough I use is over hydrated compared to the wheat version and that means I can only work with one dumpling at a time or it becomes a sticky mess that’s impossible to work with.

Usually this process leaves me exhausted even on a good day, but I love peirogi and do love cooking, so sometimes it’s worth the effort. Today I actually had fun with it and was not exhausted when I finished. Yay!

Now I’m enjoying some sparkling wine and Netflix.

BTW, whoever recommended We Need to Talk About Kevin, man that was intense. I thought I had it figured out but was off by a bit. Good recommendation. 🙂

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

Pierogies! They’re wonderful. But I haven’t had any since I was a college student in Pennsylvania. My boyfriend and I used to enjoy Mrs. T’s pierogies when the term was over and we could cook. (Of course, making frozen pierogies wasn’t exactly a big deal—but it was to us.)

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@Kat
Mrs. T’s are the best. My dad being male and all, the family recipes were never passed down to him, so we always had the frozen ones growing up. I’d still buy them if I didn’t find out they make me sick.

If anyone is interested, this is the dough recipe I used. I went with a potato and cheese filling, juse lIke Mrs. T. 🙂 http://www.faithfullyglutenfree.com/2013/10/gluten-free-perogies.html

Sheila Crosby
4 years ago

@Kupo Published fiction writer here, but don’t get too impressed. I’m not J. K. Rowling, although I’ve sold about 50 stories over the years -mostly for peanuts.

It sounds as though your stories lack conflict. Now conflict doesn’t have to mean violence, but your protagonist needs to want something, and there has to be a problem with getting it. There are traditionally three types:
1) Inner conflict. I want to lose weight, but I love chocolate cake and work in a bakers. Or I want to ride off into the sunset with this gorgeous bloke, but it would mean ditching my career and I have a thing about being financially independent.
2) Protag against nature. I slipped and broke my leg. There’s nobody around to help. It’s also cold, raining, and getting dark. If I stay here all night, I’ll die of exposure, but the car is half a mile away. And did I mention the broken leg?
3) Protagonist against antagonist. I want this contract to save my business and thereby have enough money to send my kids to college. But Fred also has his eyes on the same contract because he wants a boat. And his firm’s bigger, he plays golf with the potential customer, and he fights dirty.

It works much better if your protagonist fixes the problem by their own efforts rather than, say, winning the lottery of having Batman turn up. Protagonsists should protag!

If you’d like to send me a story for quick comments, my email is crosby dot sheila at gmail dot com.

A Land Whale
A Land Whale
4 years ago

Got fooled by another undercover misogynist. There is a Youtube channel called TakeDownMan that I really liked and the guy posts about stuff he finds on the deep web, some of which is just interesting, some of which is scary as fuck, and he even helps bust pedophiles and snuff filmers with his hacking skills. Yes, seriously.

But then he made a video about the “most rachet women” on the internet and guess who two of them were.

Laci Green
Anita Sarkeesian

Because, Laci Green “thinks rapists should be convicted without at trial or evidence” which she has never said and Anita Sarkeesian wants to “O NOEZ CHANGE VIDEO GAMES!”

HE EVEN FECKING COMMENTED ON THEIR LOOKS!!! He mentioned something like, “Laci is cute but is an evil feminazi and you should stay away from her.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was livid, of course and had no trouble telling Mr. Internet Crusader who goes around busting pedos and murders but is terrified of two tiny little women who want the rest of women to -GASP- be treated like humans and want game developers to make more kinds of games for more kinds of players what a hypocrite manbaby he is….Pedos and murders are bad but the REAL violence that happens to REAL women and the THREATS of violence that happen to women who speak against it don’t matter…in fact, this dildo is going out of his way to help it along. Naturally, the rest of the comments are horrid because everyone agrees that feminists are evil.

The other “ratchet” girl was a girl who was talking about having sex with a dog….which is gross but I’m pretty sure it’s made up…..soooo feminists are on the same page as dog rapists, apparently.

Another channel I frequent about mental health….eh….I won’t give the name because I still mostly like what the guy says and am not 100% ready to give up on him(he’s even said he really likes what he calls “real” feminism…I know, it’s gross but at least there is some form of feminism he supports…and also how much he likes academic feminism because it is very critical of the modern mental health status quo, as is he)….was going on a rant about misandry and what a huge problem it is….and he was serious….and I cannot take anyone seriously when they start talking about how misandry is a serious problem for reasons I’m sure I don’t need to explain to you folks (but I will explain it if anyone asks). The other thing is, I watch all his videos, I know who the regulars are. Most of his other followers are pretty cool (though he has a rather persistent MGTOW that I have tried to help many times but who won’t accept help) and are always trying to help each other out….but because of THAT video, all the trolls are coming out of the woodwork and harassing everyone else on the channel (including me).

So sad and angry and disappointed. I really don’t want to hate all men, but I’m starting to. It seems like it’s only a matter of time before they all show themselves to be misogynists. It hurts my sense of hope for the future. I guess my one comfort is both guys are not exactly young….but still….

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
4 years ago

@A Land Whale
There are horrible misogynists out there, and sometimes it seems like they’re the only men in the world, but that’s an illusion caused by the volume of their screams. There are also amazing feminist/ally men in the world who believe in equality and want to make the world better. From reading and participating in this blog I can name David, Alan, ColeYote, and FrickleFrackle (just a few from the top of my head) among those amazing feminist men, and you can find even more by hitting Google and plugging in things like “male celebrities who are feminists” or “feminist male scientists” or “male feminists in gaming” or whatever pertains to your particular interests.
Please don’t give up on men. There are many great ones out there and all feminists, women and men alike, need to stick together to counteract the loud misogynists.

Dalillama
4 years ago

@A Land Whale

(he’s even said he really likes what he calls “real” feminism…I know, it’s gross but at least there is some form of feminism he supports

What he means by that is almost certainly that he supports the likes of Cristina Hoff Summers. i.e. he’s not a feminist at all in any meaningful way.

A Land Whale
A Land Whale
4 years ago

Thank you, Nikki. That might help. It’s so disheartening at times….I feel like I shouldn’t have to specifically chase after men who run around saying, “YES, I AM A FEMINIST,” because it seems like there SHOULD be people who feel that way that don’t go out of their way to publicly declare it every five minutes….but it seems like if they don’t, then they are more than likely misogynists. It’s also not great that I have the unfortunate condition of heterosexuality. I mean, I’m glad these men exist, but how likely am I to nab one? You know? -cries-

Dalilama, you could be right, but I’m not sure. He doesn’t mention a lot of feminists’ names but he’s not a conservative for sure so I dunno if CHS would be up his alley. He just mentions having taken some courses in feminism, which he admits he did for a joke and then to his surprise he ended up loving them. The whole channel is about mental health stuff so he mentions feminist critiques of the mental health system, how “studies” on mental health are almost exclusively geared toward men even when the majority of clients seeking help are female, how treatments are geared toward male patients, how certain disorders and personality traits are said to be more of a “problem” in this gender or that, how abuse is not quantified (or even qualified) properly, how female patients in particular are gaslighted and victim-blamed, how patients are diagnosed with different disorders based on gender when they suffer from the same things, and how bullcrap all of that is…so it’s not all bad.

…but then he goes down the “women are just as likely to be abusive” bullcrap, which is provably wrong when it comes to ALL forms of abuse, physical, mental, emotional, financial, verbal. Sometimes he is saying it because he wants to help men get over their “dude I’m too manly to be a victim and get help, bro…help is for women and manginas” bullcrap (which he also mocks)…other times, I think he’s just blowing himself. He’s a recovered PUA (and admittedly very not proud of it) so I think I am extra forgiving….but the misandry rant had me thinking, “-baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf-.” I want to be optimistic and just say that he is still learning but……meh.

A lot of the things he’s said have been very helpful to me but when he goes down certain avenues, I’m hesitant to throw it all away.

…..but…..REALLY?! MISANDRY?!

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
4 years ago

@A Land Whale
You’re welcome!
If you’re worried about the difficulties of dating while feminist, I’d suggest asking questions on dates/online dating sites or when you meet a man you think you might want to date. Depending on your mood and bullshit tolerance level for the day and the guy’s personality, you can either directly ask him “Are you a feminist?” or go with a more subtle question, like “What do you think of the ‘pink tax’ on women’s toiletries?” or “Did you hear about (insert recent newsworthy issue affecting women here)? What are your thoughts on that?” or “How would you improve the characterization of women in video games/movies/TV?”
You’re a great person and I’m sure that in time you’ll find a guy who’s perfect for you. Even if you don’t, single life can be fantastic and happy (although as a current happy singleton, I may be a bit biased here) and your friends’ kids can never have too many honorary aunties.

A Land Whale
A Land Whale
4 years ago

@Nikki, I probably shouldn’t have brought up snagging one. I kinda forgot to mention I gave up on men. :oX It’s not really what I want to do but it’s inevitable. I’m middle aged, overweight, undertall, and have no marketable skills….oh, and I’m a feminist, which is penis repellent as most know. The guys who are into feminists wouldn’t want a fat old dorky awkward broke weirdo probably. :o/ Anyway…I appreciate you taking the time to write though!

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
4 years ago

@A Land Whale

I’ve had similar problems with finding male friends in my meatspace life. I’ve pretty much given up, but that’s mostly because I just don’t see any particular reason why I should have specifically male friends. I know some good, genuinely feminist dudes, including my brother. We’ve come to the same conclusions about almost everything in life, despite never talking about these topics until well into adulthood.

I made a few male friends when I used to write about videogames more than a decade ago now. Those guys, maybe surprisingly, all turned out feminist friendly.

I think in my case it might come down to the fact that I’m fairly obviously not a stereotypically bro-y dude, and those guys probably just don’t gravitate toward me. I suppose a dating situation is completely different. Maybe make friends first, then date your friends? Is that even legal?

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
4 years ago

@A Land Whale
Re: my last comment-Sorry I couldn’t be more help for your particular situation! Hopefully it can help someone else going through a similar problem.

A Land Whale
A Land Whale
4 years ago

@Imaginary Petal, I dunno, it might be against the Bro Code…lol!

I shouldn’t have mentioned dating because I gave all that mess up…but in moments of weakness I sometimes think of it.

A Land Whale
A Land Whale
4 years ago

Undercover misogynist #2 confirmed. Turns out you were right
@dalilama…he gave it all away in the comments section, which I just finished up with, despite my instructions to myself NEVER READ THE COMMENTS lol!

Here are some real gems, “I’m not an MGTOW or anything but I understand the sentiment,” and, “I’m not an MGTOW but are you serious that you think women have it worse in the world than men?” and, “Teaching boys consent is shaming to them because it makes them think they are defacto rapists.”

-sigh-

Sadly, this guy is a psychologist and about how most of his clients are female…..I’m REALLY sorry for all of his clients….