“Girls who work at call centers are usually epic sluts,” Return of Kings writer warns

Fellas! I don’t know if you know this, but we men here in the western world are surrounded by secret sluts, undercover dirty girls with “PhDs in “hide my notch count-ology” so if men don’t take a good hard look beneath the surface, they’ll be taken for [a] ride to be sure.”

That, in any case, is the message of a new post by self-proclaimed slut expert Donovan Sharpe at internet garbage site Return of Kings. A few years back, another RoK writer warned men of several dozen “slut tells,” including tattoos, large breasts, divorced parents, past sorority membership, and of course “slut face.”

Sharpe now adds several more “covert slut tells” to the list, advising men to watch out for divorced women with “thousand cock stares” who live alone, work out at “meathead gyms,” make bad art and … work at call centers.

How are any of these things evidence of sluthood? Let’s go through them in turn.

Divorce:

Divorce? More like Div-WHORE-ce amirite fellas high five, you do see what I did there right?

Nothing elicits euphoria in today’s woman like separation and subsequent divorce papers. It is quite literally her golden ticket aboard the Cock Carousel Express and it takes them very little time to hop aboard and enjoy the ride. …

While this is awesome for slut slayers, it’s terrible for men looking to settle down. Any woman who has at least one ex-husband has no doubt been slammed by hordes of men. And as we all know, the more men a woman has been f**ked by, the less faithful she’ll be.

The Thousand Cock Stare:

The mysterious “Thousand Cock Stare,” as I noted in a previous post, is what Red Pillers think women develop after exposure to more than the lifetime recommended allotment of penises. As Sharpe explains, it’s

the look on a woman’s face that reveals spite, apathy, fatigue, and hopelessness all at the same time. This look is a direct result of being drilled and dropped by a shitload of men.

The spite is because she’s pissed off at the world for not having locked down a man because of her slutty ways. The apathy is from being desensitized to sex, an inevitable ramification of taking different cocks for an extended period of time.

Remember, fellas, if a woman has lots of sex with one man, she only suffers one penis-worth of penis-induced sex-desensitivity. The same amount of sex with a variety of penises will turn her into an empty shell of a woman.

The fatigue is her being tired of the constant battle to get and keep male attention and having to resort to sexual favors earlier and earlier as she gets older.

Yeah, that couldn’t possibly be because she enjoys sex and is tired of playing games.

And the hopelessness comes from her knowing deep down she’ll never have a relationship of consequence with a man she loves and respects, who finds her tolerable outside of sex.

No projection here, nope!

Living alone:

Aw, she’s got her own place, like, you know, lots and lots of single people. BEWARE!

[W]omen are heavily influenced by people who shame them …

Living by herself gives her carte blanche to sleep with as many dudes as her little heart desires without the judgmental gaze of her roommates or relatives. …

With male thirst at an all time high, it’s a pretty good bet that a woman who doesn’t share a residence with another human being is likely pushing triple digits in the notch count category, and it seldom takes long to get there.

Bad artist:

If she’s a painter, there’s a good chance she’ll let you STIR HER PAINT, nudge nudge. Maybe she’ll even let you STRETCH HER CANVAS, if you know what I mean, or USE MASKING TAPE TO COVER PART OF THE CANVAS IN ORDER TO GET A CLEAR EDGE BETWEEN PATCHES OF DIFFERENT COLORS wait none of these makes any sense as sexual innuendo never mind.

Just remember: ART means SEX.

I’m not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination, but my guess is that expressing themselves artistically is a way to escape the fact that they can’t keep their legs closed around men. …

So the next time a chick wants to show you her collection of deformed bowls and vases she makes in her pottery classes, keep in mind that you’ve probably got a whore on your hands.

Meathead gym attendance:

Buff women hanging out around buff dudes apparently results in lots of buff sex, though apparently this only makes the women sluts, not the men,

Call centers:

Yep. If she works at a call center, you can be sure she’ll PUT YOU ON HOLD, if you know what I mean, or maybe even INTERRUPT YOUR DINNER WITH A SALES CALL EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE ON THE DO NOT CALL REGISTRY. If you’re really lucky, maybe she’ll let you SPEAK TO HER SUPERVISOR.

Crap, none of those make sense either. Just remember: call centers are slut centers!

Anyone who’s ever worked in a call center knows that commingling between employees is at least twice as rampant as any other workplace out there. Having managed a few myself I can personally attest to the fact that regardless of position, no one is exempt from the temptation of f**king their coworkers in this environment…or at least trying.

Girls who either are or have been employed at a call center are usually epic sluts in and outside of the office. Something about this particular work habitat is like an aphrodisiac for both males and females.

One ringy dingy indeed!