Fellas! I don’t know if you know this, but we men here in the western world are surrounded by secret sluts, undercover dirty girls with “PhDs in “hide my notch count-ology” so if men don’t take a good hard look beneath the surface, they’ll be taken for [a] ride to be sure.”
That, in any case, is the message of a new post by self-proclaimed slut expert Donovan Sharpe at internet garbage site Return of Kings. A few years back, another RoK writer warned men of several dozen “slut tells,” including tattoos, large breasts, divorced parents, past sorority membership, and of course “slut face.”
Sharpe now adds several more “covert slut tells” to the list, advising men to watch out for divorced women with “thousand cock stares” who live alone, work out at “meathead gyms,” make bad art and … work at call centers.
How are any of these things evidence of sluthood? Let’s go through them in turn.
Divorce:
Divorce? More like Div-WHORE-ce amirite fellas high five, you do see what I did there right?
Nothing elicits euphoria in today’s woman like separation and subsequent divorce papers. It is quite literally her golden ticket aboard the Cock Carousel Express and it takes them very little time to hop aboard and enjoy the ride. …
While this is awesome for slut slayers, it’s terrible for men looking to settle down. Any woman who has at least one ex-husband has no doubt been slammed by hordes of men. And as we all know, the more men a woman has been f**ked by, the less faithful she’ll be.
The Thousand Cock Stare:
The mysterious “Thousand Cock Stare,” as I noted in a previous post, is what Red Pillers think women develop after exposure to more than the lifetime recommended allotment of penises. As Sharpe explains, it’s
the look on a woman’s face that reveals spite, apathy, fatigue, and hopelessness all at the same time. This look is a direct result of being drilled and dropped by a shitload of men.
The spite is because she’s pissed off at the world for not having locked down a man because of her slutty ways. The apathy is from being desensitized to sex, an inevitable ramification of taking different cocks for an extended period of time.
Remember, fellas, if a woman has lots of sex with one man, she only suffers one penis-worth of penis-induced sex-desensitivity. The same amount of sex with a variety of penises will turn her into an empty shell of a woman.
The fatigue is her being tired of the constant battle to get and keep male attention and having to resort to sexual favors earlier and earlier as she gets older.
Yeah, that couldn’t possibly be because she enjoys sex and is tired of playing games.
And the hopelessness comes from her knowing deep down she’ll never have a relationship of consequence with a man she loves and respects, who finds her tolerable outside of sex.
No projection here, nope!
Living alone:
Aw, she’s got her own place, like, you know, lots and lots of single people. BEWARE!
[W]omen are heavily influenced by people who shame them …
Living by herself gives her carte blanche to sleep with as many dudes as her little heart desires without the judgmental gaze of her roommates or relatives. …
With male thirst at an all time high, it’s a pretty good bet that a woman who doesn’t share a residence with another human being is likely pushing triple digits in the notch count category, and it seldom takes long to get there.
Bad artist:
If she’s a painter, there’s a good chance she’ll let you STIR HER PAINT, nudge nudge. Maybe she’ll even let you STRETCH HER CANVAS, if you know what I mean, or USE MASKING TAPE TO COVER PART OF THE CANVAS IN ORDER TO GET A CLEAR EDGE BETWEEN PATCHES OF DIFFERENT COLORS wait none of these makes any sense as sexual innuendo never mind.
Just remember: ART means SEX.
I’m not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination, but my guess is that expressing themselves artistically is a way to escape the fact that they can’t keep their legs closed around men. …
So the next time a chick wants to show you her collection of deformed bowls and vases she makes in her pottery classes, keep in mind that you’ve probably got a whore on your hands.
Meathead gym attendance:
Buff women hanging out around buff dudes apparently results in lots of buff sex, though apparently this only makes the women sluts, not the men,
Call centers:
Yep. If she works at a call center, you can be sure she’ll PUT YOU ON HOLD, if you know what I mean, or maybe even INTERRUPT YOUR DINNER WITH A SALES CALL EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE ON THE DO NOT CALL REGISTRY. If you’re really lucky, maybe she’ll let you SPEAK TO HER SUPERVISOR.
Crap, none of those make sense either. Just remember: call centers are slut centers!
Anyone who’s ever worked in a call center knows that commingling between employees is at least twice as rampant as any other workplace out there. Having managed a few myself I can personally attest to the fact that regardless of position, no one is exempt from the temptation of f**king their coworkers in this environment…or at least trying.
Girls who either are or have been employed at a call center are usually epic sluts in and outside of the office. Something about this particular work habitat is like an aphrodisiac for both males and females.
One ringy dingy indeed!
What turns him on more? Florescent lighting? Or a ugly little half cubicles?
The job I’ve had with the most hanky panky occurring was hands down canvassing. Get a bunch of progressives who like to drink and/or smoke pot together and it’s pretty much inevitable.
I hope I’m not giving any budding PUAs any ideas here.
Know what else fits into a hummingbird’s eggshell?
http://orig09.deviantart.net/9667/f/2009/150/9/3/baby_hummingbird_by_purelovesky1.jpg
a babby hummingbird <3
@Scildfreja
Adorable!
The “Thousand-Cock Stare” bit makes me think this guy’s learned all he knows about women from porn films, as I immediately jumped to a certain footnote in David Foster Wallace’s “Big Red Son” (about the 1998 Adult Video News awards):
This part is so revealing. It’s pretty clear that he tried to hit on women who reacted with spite, apathy, fatigue and hopelessness.
I’m going to take a wild guess and say that what this douchebag calls a ‘thousand cock’ stare is actually a ‘You’re my manager, why the fuck are you hitting on me’ stare.
Hopefully his ‘trying’ stopped at flirtations.
Actually I’m gonna go with she’s pissed off at the douchebag who’s saying sexist things and trying to get into her pants
or from being desensitized to being receiving constant unwarranted comments from sexist douchebags, an inevitable ramification of being a women in our society for extended periods of time
Fatigue should be self explanatory, especially considering the male brain’s apparent inability to accept new information.
(fixed it to more accurately convey the author’s intent)
Or perhaps the hoplessness is because her manager is inappropriately hitting on her and she can’t take action without risking her job.
So if women who make art are sluts, are men who make art studs? That is what a man who has a lot of sex is called, right? A stud? I’m a guy who makes art and I’ve only had three girlfriends and a random encounter with a guy. I must be doing something wrong.
Talk about biting the hand that feeds. Hook-up culture and low standards are these guys’ bread and butter. Can you imagine if every woman was the kind of “good girl” these traditional manly men expect them to be and actually required these guys to pass the scrutiny of serious courtship? The fact that getting into someone’s pants requires talking to them at all is to their disadvantage, because they risk exposure and rejection as soon as they open their mouths. The fact that a main element of their “game” strategy is to undermine the other person’s self esteem is basically an admission that they know somewhere deep down that a person with self-respect wouldn’t settle for them.
So
Yet
Uffdah, these fellows. So I’m spitefully desperate to lock down a man only so I can experience the euphoria of divorcing him? Is that how it works in their world?
As someone who once worked at a call center, all I can say is fuck you, Sharpe! You ignorant, vomit-inducing dickhead!
I had to take that job because it was all I could get! The job sucked, the people on the other end sucked, and I quit as soon as I was able to find something better.
Don’t flatter yourself, asshole. We women don’t make it habit of making everything about attracting men, especially shit men like you, Sharpe, and all those who read Return of Douches.
@MexicanHotChocolate
Sometimes they call themselves bulls. That just be my experience though.
@GenJones
I remember reading somewhere once that the guy who invented PUA was secretly depressed because the women he did want didn’t want him, despite all his “tricks”. I think these guys go for such young woman because they’re emotionally vulnerable and they woudn’t have the experience yet to figure out they’re completely worthless leeches.
My guess is what these wankbadgers call “the thousand cock stare” is that blank look we all adopt when a creepy or hostile dude tries to interact with us.
It’s because women are only used as a form of scorekeeping for these guys to use to compete against each other. Therefore, the more women he can have sex with who haven’t had sex with any other men, the more points he has! But if he has sex with a woman who’s ALREADY had sex with other dude(s), then that’s hardly worth any points at all, and it’s worth negative points against the guys who had sex with the woman first! (Unless of course he’s in a committed relationship with the woman, in which case the PUA is stealing her from her owner and is worth almost as many points as having sex with a woman first!)
Real question: Do these guys legitimately think that anyone has sex with literally hundreds of people?
I mean I’m sure there have been people that have legitimately had sex with that many people but I strongly suspect that they are extreme outliers or are in some sort of sex work.
Like is this a real thing that they think or is it just angry hyperbole?
Because the average is FOUR.
And seriously who the hell has time to establish some sort of relationship with* and have sex with that many people.
*even if that relationship is just taking the time to meet them and agree to have sex, it’s a lot more effort and time than having sex with a steady partner
Adding to Catalpa’s points, I feel like the reason why fuckboys don’t like “slags” is because well, if she has sex with a lot of guys, it means your cock was just another that went into her. According to these guys, a REAL MANLY MAN is one that can take an otherwise disinterested lady and make her want you (which is probably also related to rape apologia). Of course, that means it’s less about having a night of hot sex, it’s about telling other people that you had a night of hot sex as a bragging point.
People who misuse the word “literally” should be figuratively smacked with a flounder.
That term and beta provider genuinely makes me want to enact the tendencies in me that I know would not be okay. The fact that these people wholeheartedly believe this /r9k/ shit which is basically 50’s bullshit and obssessiveness with purity fills me with so much hate.
These people probably believe humans are only genuine when they are as sad, pathetic, hateful and bitter as them.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’d judge someone who slept with hundreds of people.
Because that’s actually pretty impressive.
I’m not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination … indeed, I only even qualify as a person on some lucky technicality, however, my thinking (and I’m using term in its broadest and most inclusive sense here) on this topic is …
I know it’s been said upthread, but I’m SO baffled by this “into triple digits” thing. Like, I’m not naive. In fact I’m unashamedly very promiscuous – I’ve met very few people who’ve told me they’ve slept with more people than me. But, like, I’m deep into the double figures but still way under even 50. Now, admittedly I’m only in my early twenties, but since they’re constantly harping on about THE WALL!!!!!! that should imply that they’re aiming these comments at women under 25, right? I’m not saying people don’t rack up that kind of count by that age, but let’s look at the numbers.
Assume this hypothetical woman is 25, and has been sexually active since she was 16 (age of consent in the UK, used for convenience’s sake). For those nine years, she’d have to be averaging 11.1 new partners per year every year. That means one new partner monthly, with a bit under one month off a year. So if she wants any kind of monogamous relationship, she has about eight months total for those relationships before she’s falling behind. And that’s to get the bare minimum of 100 partners before she HITS THE WALL!!!!1!!!111!!!
It’s totally doable. Hell, if she’s really devoted to casual sex and can average one partner a week non-stop, she’ll be into triple digits in a couple of years. I mean, that sounds exhausting and doesn’t leave much time for anything else (and probably assumes she’s down with period sex ALWAYS and never feels too crap to go out), but hey, her hypothetical choice. Or group sex would get her numbers up.
Like, 100+ partners is totally possible, and if that’s what works for you then great, more power to you. But given that breakdown, I really have to wonder how devoted these guys think women are to The Sex if they believe that MULTIPLE WOMEN THEY MEET being WELL INTO THE TRIPLE DIGITS is a strong possibility. It just feels like a kid grasping for a really big-sounding number. “Those sluts have had sex with like…eleven million billion men! At once!”
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“I have once try to pick up a woman who was working at a call center with this wonderfull opener : ‘Hey, can i ring your bell ?’ but she rejected me.
So she is a slut.
Hence, all women working at call centers are sluts !
I am… I am… ?”
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Well, well.
I have worked at a call center. Incoming calls only (know-wut-I -mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge*). It was pretty miserable. Cock count: ZERO.
I’ve worked lots of other places, too. Including traveling on the road with a male colleague and lots of overnight stays. Fellow-employee cock count: ZERO.
I have never – yes, never – had sex with a colleague. I learned my lesson when I was a student and one of two female undergrads in a niche STEM subject. Temptations were many and I succumbed. The fallout wasn’t horrible, but it did have implications.
However, by their estimate, I’m a slut. And I have used the opportunity of split custody and my ex moving out to have sex in my house on my ‘living-alone-with-my-cats’ days. I’m degreed and a bit crafty, have been known to paint. And I’m divorcee with needs. It’s fair to say that I’ve not yet ponied up for the last time on the cock carousel, so my notch count is likely to grow. At least I hope so. And maybe soon – date tonight.
*actually, we just received incoming calls for hotel reservations. Oh – hotel reservations – saucy!
I only knew one man who had that many previous partners. He was a genuinely lovely guy and he was charismatic and stunningly attractive. He had no interest in a relationship and had sex with a different woman most weekends. I had sex with him a couple of times and he was really respectful and not selfish at all. So yeah it does happen but it’s rare. And these PUAs could learn a thing or 2 – just be interested in a woman for who she is, be open and honest with your intentions, enjoy actually spending time with a woman, don’t think it’s a terrible thing that women enjoy sex. No negging required.
And I will never understand why “slut” is an insult. It’s basically, “you enjoy sex and have spent time having fun by participating in consensual sex many people.” That’s not insulting to me (not implying that it’s ok to call anyone a slut because it *is* considered to be insulting) because it’s true of me and I haven’t hurt anyone. Actual insults to me would be more things like: selfish, inconsiderate, bigoted – and would have to include actual examples of this behaviour in me. “You enjoy sex” – oh noez, I also enjoy pizza and dancing and whiskey and volunteer work, I’m a terrible person who *enjoys* things!!
@calmdown
Personally, I find a higher AHT increases customer satisfaction and improves my First Call Resolution scores.
(Oh dear, I could do this all night – Soo many single entendres can be made from call centre jargon!)
@DrNicolaLuna:
I think they think “slut” is an insult because they’re terrified of women’s sexuality not being under tight control at all times. It’s pathetic.
I worry about their partners, I really do. There’s evidently very little understanding there about how consent actually works.
When he says he’s managed a few call centres, I think what he means is he got fired from a few call centres.