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“Girls who work at call centers are usually epic sluts,” Return of Kings writer warns

Why don't you call me sometime?
Why don’t you call me sometime?

Fellas! I don’t know if you know this, but we men here in the western world are surrounded by secret sluts, undercover dirty girls with “PhDs in “hide my notch count-ology” so if men don’t take a good hard look beneath the surface, they’ll be taken for [a] ride to be sure.”

That, in any case, is the message of a new post by self-proclaimed slut expert Donovan Sharpe at internet garbage site Return of Kings. A few years back, another RoK writer warned men of several dozen “slut tells,” including tattoos, large breasts, divorced parents, past sorority membership, and of course “slut face.”

Sharpe now adds several more “covert slut tells” to the list, advising men to watch out for divorced women with “thousand cock stares” who live alone, work out at “meathead gyms,” make bad art and … work at call centers.

How are any of these things evidence of sluthood? Let’s go through them in turn.

Divorce:

Divorce? More like Div-WHORE-ce amirite fellas high five, you do see what I did there right?

Nothing elicits euphoria in today’s woman like separation and subsequent divorce papers. It is quite literally her golden ticket aboard the Cock Carousel Express and it takes them very little time to hop aboard and enjoy the ride. …

While this is awesome for slut slayers, it’s terrible for men looking to settle down. Any woman who has at least one ex-husband has no doubt been slammed by hordes of men. And as we all know, the more men a woman has been f**ked by, the less faithful she’ll be.

The Thousand Cock Stare:

The mysterious “Thousand Cock Stare,” as I noted in a previous post, is what Red Pillers think women develop after exposure to more than the lifetime recommended allotment of penises. As Sharpe explains, it’s

the look on a woman’s face that reveals spite, apathy, fatigue, and hopelessness all at the same time. This look is a direct result of being drilled and dropped by a shitload of men.

The spite is because she’s pissed off at the world for not having locked down a man because of her slutty ways. The apathy is from being desensitized to sex, an inevitable ramification of taking different cocks for an extended period of time.

Remember, fellas, if a woman has lots of sex with one man, she only suffers one penis-worth of penis-induced sex-desensitivity. The same amount of sex with a variety of penises will turn her into an empty shell of a woman.

The fatigue is her being tired of the constant battle to get and keep male attention and having to resort to sexual favors earlier and earlier as she gets older.

Yeah, that couldn’t possibly be because she enjoys sex and is tired of playing games.

And the hopelessness comes from her knowing deep down she’ll never have a relationship of consequence with a man she loves and respects, who finds her tolerable outside of sex.

No projection here, nope!

Living alone:

Aw, she’s got her own place, like, you know, lots and lots of single people. BEWARE!

[W]omen are heavily influenced by people who shame them …

Living by herself gives her carte blanche to sleep with as many dudes as her little heart desires without the judgmental gaze of her roommates or relatives. …

With male thirst at an all time high, it’s a pretty good bet that a woman who doesn’t share a residence with another human being is likely pushing triple digits in the notch count category, and it seldom takes long to get there.

Bad artist:

If she’s a painter, there’s a good chance she’ll let you STIR HER PAINT, nudge nudge. Maybe she’ll even let you STRETCH HER CANVAS, if you know what I mean, or USE MASKING TAPE TO COVER PART OF THE CANVAS IN ORDER TO GET A CLEAR EDGE BETWEEN PATCHES OF DIFFERENT COLORS wait none of these makes any sense as sexual innuendo never mind.

Just remember: ART means SEX.

I’m not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination, but my guess is that expressing themselves artistically is a way to escape the fact that they can’t keep their legs closed around men. …

So the next time a chick wants to show you her collection of deformed bowls and vases she makes in her pottery classes, keep in mind that you’ve probably got a whore on your hands.

Meathead gym attendance:

Buff women hanging out around buff dudes apparently results in lots of buff sex, though apparently this only makes the women sluts, not the men,

Call centers:

Yep. If she works at a call center, you can be sure she’ll PUT YOU ON HOLD, if you know what I mean, or maybe even INTERRUPT YOUR DINNER WITH A SALES CALL EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE ON THE DO NOT CALL REGISTRY. If you’re really lucky, maybe she’ll let you SPEAK TO HER SUPERVISOR.

Crap, none of those make sense either. Just remember: call centers are slut centers!

Anyone who’s ever worked in a call center knows that commingling between employees is at least twice as rampant as any other workplace out there. Having managed a few myself I can personally attest to the fact that regardless of position, no one is exempt from the temptation of f**king their coworkers in this environment…or at least trying.

Girls who either are or have been employed at a call center are usually epic sluts in and outside of the office. Something about this particular work habitat is like an aphrodisiac for both males and females.

One ringy dingy indeed!

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gqbrielle
5 years ago

“I’m not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination”

No kiddin’?

And my experience at a call-center mostly ended in most of the workers hating the job and thus everything that reminded us of the job (such as our coworkers).

Jamesworkshop
Jamesworkshop
5 years ago

she makes in her pottery classes, keep in mind that you’ve probably got a whore on your hands.

I don’t have sex for free, you gotta ‘clay to play’

Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin briefly known as Nady
Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin briefly known as Nady
5 years ago

Guess what Roosh?! I’m a slut! (I’m using the 1950’s version here meaning messy.) I admit it! I find order in Chaos! Seriously?! Management?! Me thinks thou protests too much! Just because others get paired up instead of you, doesn’t mean women are whores. It means that they find the other men less abhorrent!

(Sorry typo! In my brain RoK equals Roosh! Donovan, I mean!)

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

My hobby is fiber arts – knitting, spinning, and now weaving. How big a slut am I?

bluecat
bluecat
5 years ago

Of course he “managed” “a few” call centres. He wouldn’t want us to think he was merely employed at one.

No-one is exempt from f*cking their coworkers in this environment… or at least trying

I can believe he “tried” though. Getting his face slapped and sacked for harassment I can believe, too.

littleknown
littleknown
5 years ago

Victorious Parasol:

If you like knitting, then you’re either a cat lady whom no man wants, or an ultra-liberal, free-love promoting, super mega slut hipster. /s

Tulse
Tulse
5 years ago

Remind me again why these guys who complain about women turning them down also complain about women who they believe are not selective with their sex partners? I mean, wouldn’t those kind of women be more likely to have sex with them?

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

@ littleknown

Oh, gosh, is THAT what these cats are doing here…. /s is for silly and also sarcastic, ‘cos MRAs can’t grasp my life is fantastic

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
5 years ago

The blindness is strong in that one. I guess he have the same proverbial Wall as the antihero of the Pink Floyd, but I doubt he will ever be able to escape it.

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
5 years ago

I’m not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination…

You can say that again, jerkwad.

You know, a man who takes these supposed signals seriously and avoids women exhibiting them is missing out on a lot of wonderful women. I find that delightful.

PS: Jamesworkshop: “clay to play” wins. I crochet, so I guess that means I’m a hooker.

Number Sequence
Number Sequence
5 years ago

Oh, shit! My dad’s girlfriend works in a call center! I gotta warm him!

I’m also surprised you didn’t decide to include this gem:

The ex-Mrs. Sharpe was into painting when we lived in Florida but she was terrible at it. Of course I told her she was the greatest painter since Leonardo da Vinci (which never got me laid)

“I see women and things they do only in terms of getting my dick wet.”

I crochet, so I guess that means I’m a hooker.

Please find someone to high five you for that on my behalf. That was excellent.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

Shorter TRP/PUA:

Sex is all there is to life!

And I’m so scared of it. 🙁

bluecat
bluecat
5 years ago

the look on a woman’s face that reveals spite, apathy, fatigue, and hopelessness all at the same time. This look is a direct result of …

…meeting Sharpe?

My face made all those things just reading his stuff. Imagine what he’d be like in person.

ej
ej
5 years ago

I’m not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination, but my guess is

Did he really just admit that he pulled this “fact” directly from his ass?

drst
drst
5 years ago

I’ve lived alone for about 17 years and have not had sex with a single person in that time. I guess I’m doing this wrong.

(What’s the betting this dude worked at a single call center once, hit on a female coworker who turned him down, and is still not over it?)

Flight of the Wombat
Flight of the Wombat
5 years ago

Victorious Parasol
April 5, 2016 at 5:45 pm
My hobby is fiber arts – knitting, spinning, and now weaving. How big a slut am I?

The biggest. Fiber arts don’t even require any real artistic talent* so clearly you’re compensating for something. [/s]

Seriously though, as an artist with artist friends ( some of whom are actually good enough to make a living from their art) I have to say that it’s true that making art can be helpful in dealing with negative emotions and experiences, but why this guy assumes that any such feelings that a woman would want to deal with necessarily have to do with sex or romantic relationships is a mystery to me… Oh wait, I think I figured it out, it’s projection isn’t it?

I’m not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination

You can say that again buddy!

*actually I think fiber arts are really cool but I don’t have the greatest coordination or fine motor control so they end up being more frustrating than fun for me. I’m always in awe of people who can do them well.

One more thing:

the look on a woman’s face that reveals spite, apathy, fatigue, and hopelessness all at the same time.

That actually does sound like the look I often see on the face of someone who is known for having a lot of sex:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/02/02/05/30CB20AD00000578-0-image-m-33_1454392278973.jpg

What website did you say this article was on again?
Huh.

Mathieu Tremblay
Mathieu Tremblay
5 years ago

I’ve worked in a call centre long enough to know Donovan here never made one single shift. There is nothing aphrodisiac about call centres.

OT: If my phone’s autocomplete assumes that by “call”, I necessarily mean “… of Cthulhu”, do I win something?

Scaly Llama
Scaly Llama
5 years ago

Wait a moment… *I* work in a call centre! Does that mean I’m a (gulp) “slut”? I’m clearly not keeping up with my call centre cock count since I haven’t fucked any of my colleagues – better get on it right away. Brb!

The Thousand Cock Stare
The Thousand Cock Stare
5 years ago

Hi, everybody! I’ve been lurking here for a while, but never got around to posting til now.

On a related note, I’m surprised to learn what a slut I apparently am. I’ve worked in a call center and occasionally make art. (Allthough, I’m not sure if I’d consider it bad art. More like average.)

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

These guys can’t decide what they want. Plates? Sluts? Whores? Wives? Criticize it all!

It almost sounds like a Mother Goose rhyme:

Plates, sluts, whores, and wives,
How many are ruining these guys’ lives?

W]omen are heavily influenced by people who shame them …

Yes.

I have a sudden urge to make pottery depicting divorced call center workers flirting with meatheads at the gym.

Flight of the Wombat
Flight of the Wombat
5 years ago

Looking at my post again I kind of feel like that picture of Roosh needs a content warning, but I guess I missed the edit window, that or my phone browser isn’t showing the option to edit. He is super creepy-looking. Sorry if I disturbed anybody.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ vikki p

Apropos of nothing, around Lancashire “Get weaving!” is a popular expression. It means to get on with something or to hurry up (eg. “If we’re going to get there in time we’d better get weaving“)

I wonder if it’s because of that area’s history in the textile trade?

throwaway
throwaway
5 years ago

I also work in a call-center. I have also worked in a not-a-call-center. According to what I’ve seen, the rampancy of hanky-panky is about the same in both.

You put human beings with biological desires in close proximity to each other and a few will feel some sparks. That’s just common fucking sense. It has nothing to do with some mysterious environmental factor available only when you’re being yelled at for something you had no control over.

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

the look on a woman’s face that reveals spite, apathy, fatigue, and hopelessness all at the same time. This look is a direct result of being drilled and dropped by a shitload of men in the presence of a TRPer.

Fixed that for you.

Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin briefly known as Nady
Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin briefly known as Nady
5 years ago

@Littleknown
Does that mean my Grandad was a slut. He taught my mum how to knit. He also made my mum and my aunt sanitary pads during the strikes in England. Rationing equalised a lot of things.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ throwaway

I also work in a call-center. I have also worked in a not-a-call-center

Was your boss a Mr Shroedinger perchance?

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Flight of the Wombat
That photo! Of Roosh! You’ve got him all wrong.

That is by no means the thousand-cock stare.

You’re doing your thinking all wrong!

That is the photo of a serious man. A man who’s had many, many delightful (and dull) experiences with women who may–or may not!–have consented to those experiences. He is a leader of men. A raconteur. A philosopher. A spiritual leader. A wit. An entrepreneur. A man cruelly oppressed for his beliefs. The general of an army currently in formation, one that will Bring Down Women.

And a Handsome Man with an Impressive Beard.

He is also, if the Daily Mail can be believed, a man who lives with his mommy.

Kindly rethink your thinking about Roosh!

throwaway
throwaway
5 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw

Was your boss a Mr Shroedinger perchance?

He was simultaneously standing behind me and in the break room slacking off until I turned around and collapsed the waveform function.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Slutty Miss Havisham

He also made my mum and my aunt sanitary pads during the strikes in England.

I can state with confidence that that is the first time I’ve seen or heard that sentence.

Did your grandfather knit the sanitary pads?

Inquiring minds need to know. . . . (If you want to tell us.)

LindsayIrene
5 years ago

SLUTS! SLUTS!!! SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://33.media.tumblr.com/008bf6040ba5e6ab5b0c4a895c5c069a/tumblr_inline_nf1q7taZG21qg9l3p.gif

And a Handsome Man with an Impressive Beard.

Beer conditioner.

Karalora
5 years ago

I enjoy quite a few different crafts at various times, including but not limited to:

* Sewing
* Cross-stitch
* Making SCENTED FUCKING CANDLES
* Embellishing foamcore satin ornaments for Christmas and other holidays/seasons (click my nym for my Etsy shop!)

Not pottery, however. Am I still a slut? I also live alone and have, in the distant past, worked in a call center (for a mercifully brief time).

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

@Kat
I’m guessing they were sewn, like these: http://partypantspads.com

Grant
Grant
5 years ago

Having managed a few myself I can personally attest to the fact that regardless of position, no one is exempt from the temptation of f**king their coworkers in this environment…or at least trying.

As a current manager in a call centre, I can categorically say you’re doing it wrong.

Also, you’re the reason why HR departments exist.

Iseult The Idle
Iseult The Idle
5 years ago

My hobby is fiber arts – knitting, spinning, and now weaving. How big a slut am I?

Oh, the biggest. You follow in the footsteps of ALL the Fates, if you know what I mean.

…Yeah, neither do I.

Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin briefly known as Nady
Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin briefly known as Nady
5 years ago

@ Kat

No. He sewed them. He knew his way around a sewing machine as well. My Nan didn’t use them in her life. Is that the dreaded word….. MISANDRY!!!

Leda Atomica
Leda Atomica
5 years ago

As someone who makes her living as an artist I had to spitlol @:

I’m not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination, but my guess is that expressing themselves artistically is a way to escape the fact that they can’t keep their legs closed around men. …

Also worked at a call center and live alone. And breathe and wear clothes. Slut alert.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

the look on a woman’s face that reveals spite, apathy, fatigue, and hopelessness all at the same time. This look is a direct result of being drilled and dropped by a shitload of men.

“She stared at me with contempt and like she didn’t want to hear what I had to say when I ran my game on her! Obviously this means that she’s been fucked by hundreds of men, and not a one of them was me!”

Also, as you can see, I’m very content with being an artist and a cheeseburger slut, who likes doing all kinds of arts and crafts, and who wants to get tattoos and rainbow dyed hair. Oh, and I’m a fat pansexual fluxgirl and 25.

And I’m still happier than these sad little pommes de terre envahies.

calmdown
calmdown
5 years ago

Yeah, I’ve also worked at a call center, and it’s hard for me to think of a less sexy environment. However, where I worked it definitely attracted more people who didn’t want to change their appearance for their job. So there probably was a higher number of feeemales that an MRA would catagorize as “sluts” because of tats, piercing, band t-shirts, being “fatties”, and having the ever-horrifying multi colored/short hair. I’m sure it would be a waking nightmare for an MRA, especially when said pierced fatties wouldn’t sleep with him! While I didn’t like the work much, I did have some very cool co-workers and one of my supervisors was this very old-school riot grrl type who loved Industrial music and made her own clothes(Oh noes! Artistic!!). She made one skirt that was made out of nothing but zippers. I still enjoy her FB posts about being a feminist and not giving a fuck to this day 🙂

What’s the betting this dude worked at a single call center once, hit on a female coworker who turned him down, and is still not over it?

I’d say about %1000, give or take.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Anyone who’s ever worked in a call center knows that commingling between employees is at least twice as rampant as any other workplace out there. Having managed a few myself …

How the fuck has he managed “a few” call centers? Even in his middle-management fantasies, he’s getting repeatedly fired for sexually harassing the employees.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

@ Flight of the Wombat

Hee. I don’t know how many of the fiber arts I do well, but I do all right, and it’s a hobby that lets me make presents for other people, so I’ll keep on keepin’ on.

@ Alan Robertshaw

Huh. I hadn’t heard of that before, but it sounds you’ve come up with a reasonable explanation for the expression.

@ Iseult The Idle

I could name my next skein Roosh, and cackle as I snip the yarn from the leader.

SCH
SCH
5 years ago

“The apathy is from being desensitized to sex…”

Wait… since when does apathy and being desensitized to something increase your interest in said something? How can one be slutty in that state.

And now a woman can’t simply be artistic or take up an artistic hobby? I’d be curious to hear his breakdown on what fan art indicates; be it of celebrities or fictional characters. That’s slutty for sure.

Flora
Flora
5 years ago

They should start making a list of traits of women that would be acceptable. It would be shorter. On hobbies alone I’m struggling to think of something these guys would approve of, other than “cleaning up after slobbish men.” We shouldn’t work out, we shouldn’t enjoy animals,, we shouldn’t be artistic, shouldn’t spend time at the bar, or with other women, or men. We can’t game or geek out. I can’t fathom they would be okay with a woman who reads and certainly don’t think we should STEM. We definitely should not waste time with pop culture like TV. Volunteering is right out because libertarianism. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF???

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
5 years ago

The things he argues for sounds like he wants people to be less interesting, He sounds like he wants a mom/servant bot to bang no consequences fresh off the presses, that way he doesn’t have to imagine penis when procreating with someone.

dreemr
dreemr
5 years ago

I crochet and sew. And I have an undergrad degree in Fine Art. Does that make me…a madam, maybe? Superslut? Wait, I have a cat, too, so maybe artsy-craftsy spinster? Wait, no, I’m divorced AND have a child out of wedlock, so it’s gotta be superslut? It’s so hard to follow these rules…

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

that way he doesn’t have to imagine penis when procreating with someone.

Maybe don’t imply that he’s secretly gay? Because “you’re gay” is kind of a shitty insult?

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
5 years ago

@dreemr
Obviously you attained slut enlightenment, slut nirvana, Bodhisluttva.

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

[…]the look on a woman’s face that reveals spite, apathy, fatigue, and hopelessness all at the same time. […]

Or it could be that the majority of women who have to be around our writer for more than a few minutes developed this look.

Spite.

Fatigue.

Hopelessness.

I mean, that’s my reaction if I’m around this caliber douche.

Bina
5 years ago

And as we all know, the more men a woman has been f**ked by, the less faithful she’ll be.

Oh, oh, “as we all know”! O RLY???

So amusing how they pretend to “know” women, when what they actually know wouldn’t even fit in a hummingbird’s eggshell.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Slutty Miss Havisham
Pretty cool! Thanks for sharing that story!

@kupo
Yeah, after I thought about it I wondered about the absorbency.

@Flora

They should start making a list of traits of women that would be acceptable.

No, no, no! Have you not been paying attention?! There are none!

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF???

Flora, Flora, Flora, you are supposed to cater to their every whim. Take all their abuse. And bring home lots & lots of money and give it to them! And these are not “acceptable traits”: these are the traits that might make them slightly less angry and demanding. For a very short time.

Mea
Mea
5 years ago

I live alone with my cat and do digital art…

Good grief, I should be running a brothel!

Instead I’m a happy asexual who hasn’t felt the need to date in over 10 years. Darn, I must be doing something wrong. 😛

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