Never underestimate the ability of Men’s Rights Activists to get worked up over the most ridiculous nonsense.
I found the meme above on the Men’s Rights Australia Facebook page, accompanied by this explanation:
Women are allowed to wear whatever they like to work, including sleeveless tops, short skirts, and even thongs. Yet if a man were to wear sleeveless tops, shorts, or thongs you can be sure he’d be sent home from work or even fired. In summer men have to suffer in the heat wearing trousers, long sleeve shirts, and tie. Feminists claim they also care about inequalities facing men so why aren’t they fighting against this? -ms
YEAH FEMINISTS WHY AREN’T YOU FIGHTING AGAINST THIS TERRIBLE INJUSTICE, WOMEN NEVER HAVE TO WEAR ANYTHING UNCOMFORTABLE OR AWKWARD AT WORK 0h wait
Note: I should point out that the “thongs” being referenced aren’t the ones that ride up your butt, but rather are the ones you wear on your feet and that are also called flip flops, at least here in the US.
BONUS MEME: This isn’t a Men’s Rights meme, obviously, but it literally made me laugh out loud.
Apparently the best way to fight communism is to do nothing while the oceans rise. I guess the Communists have their secret bases on the Marshall Islands?
I’m reminded of this legendary toilet paper ad.
A spectre is haunting the bathroom — the spectre of really really scratchy toilet paper.
@eloli:
You seriously don’t see how the fact that you’re objectifying/dehumanizing the women around you by reducing their presence to your “beautiful surroundings”? I think you need to do a good bit more self-interrogation there.
Honestly, the male dress code is so much nicer than the female dress code in most places I’ve worked. Khakis and a polo shirt versus a collared blouse and pantyhose? I know what I’d prefer.
Of course, I’m one of those cruel misandrists who denies innocent men something pretty to look at. Unlike those other cruel misandrists who manipulate innocent men by giving them something pretty to look at.
@eloli
No, Emmy Rae just pointed out what you were doing.
You were the one who “brought boners into the table.”
@eloli
I find it really hard to explain to people that I don’t like being appreciated for how I look; I’m a person not a Monet, I don’t exist to decorate the world. It is frustrating that most people react like I’m just being wantonly difficult in this regard, as if people appreciating how I look isn’t harmful so I’m ridiculous for feeling this way
Also, it is very hard to look at something without being noticeably looking at something; people tend to think side-long glances or glances made while people are turned away go unnoticed, they don’t. I will say, however, that noticing in a reflection that someone is staring at you thinking you won’t ‘catch them’ feels less ‘icky’ than people blatantly doing it.
Then you get people saying you shouldn’t make any effort to look nice if you don’t want people doing that kind of thing, yet you get treated as subhuman if you don’t meet certain standards.
I sit in a top floor corner office which gets bastardly hot in the summer months.
Fortunately we have no direct client contact (and I don’t even have indirect contact) and have no dress code. So in the summer I wear shorts and an aloha shirt. And I go barefoot all year. I haven’t been sent home so far.
The “thong” comment got me too for a moment.
Routers by Cisco
Lunches by Sysco
Dress code by Sisqo.
I just learned that a good friend of mine in high school contracted kidney cancer. He’s undergoing chemo and from what I know from my friends he’s probably going to be fine. But man I didn’t expect this to pop into my life out of the blue like this.
Shit it’s worse, it’s spreading, I don’t know much else, but I really hope it’s not what I immediately think of when I hear those words.
I should own Neutrogena stock with all the sunscreen I buy (and put on myself because I don’t need a sunburn.) 50SPF is the minimum, even without showing a lot of skin. My mom has had a lot of ‘suspicious spots’ removed over the years – some turned out to be nothing and others could have gotten a lot worse so it was good to remove them early on.
As for the dress code whiners…there are a couple of courtrooms presided over by the ‘old guard’, who expect women to wear a skirt. So I wear a skirt and get through my day. Is there nothing those dudes won’t whine about?!
Eloli,
Unless you know for sure that a woman would welcome a compliment about she looks in a dress, don’t do it. Especially at work. Especially if the woman is in a position of less power in the company because she may feel uncomfortable, but not want to risk speaking up about it.
Here’s a useful way to tell if a comment about a woman’s appearance is appropriate. Would you give the same compliment to a man? If not, the compliment is sexist and potentially harassing.
Notes from a Boner is, I assume I reference to this brilliant piece:
http://captainawkward.com/2014/06/06/notes-from-a-boner/
lol @women choosing short sleeves/thin fabrics.
oh sorry that wasn’t a laugh that was me crying as I sit here wearing a ‘sweater’ that is large-knit and so full of holes, and also only has 3/4 length sleeves.
True story. And I’m still kinda mad about my fake pockets.
At least I get away with not wearing makeup at work.
As others have mentioned as well, dress codes vary a lot based on where you are and what you’re doing. I actually feel kind of bad for Mr. Space Alpaca, he wants to wear dress shirts and ties to work, some of his coworkers in other departments do; But since he’s in the ‘less professional’ production department, people started laughing at him and asking him if he thought he was the boss the few times he tried.
The important part of ‘dress codes’ seems to be fitting in more than it is specific items of clothing (most of the time).
Because rigidly enforced, binary gender fashion, is totes feminism.
http://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2014/sep/22/little-space-given-to-menswear-too-few-men-care
Women can’t do it for us chaps, this one is on us men.
@OoglyBoggles
I’m so sorry to hear that your friend has cancer.
All best wishes to both of you.
@Jarred H:
Merely being appreciative of women’s beauty is far from objectifying/dehumanizing IMO.
I’m not reducing their presence to “mere decorations”, these beautiful women I’m talking about are capable and intelligent professionals, some of which I’ve been working for a decade and a half now, and with whom I have enough familiarity to have friendly exchanges such as:
-“Girl, you look so hot today, if I wasn’t married I’d be seriously consider asking you for a date”
-Well, that suit makes you look really sharp, I make start looking at you different.
Then we both laugh.
Don’t see the harm in that, but hey, it takes all sorts to make the world go round.
@Starfury:
I get what you’re saying and I can empathize with you, believe it or not, I find it a real chore having to look all sharp and business like every working day. If I could do it my way, I’d dress in the same ratty jeans and metal t-shirts I did at 19, but as a 43 year old director on a corporate environment, I’m not only obligated to be professional, I also have to look the part.
Your post reminds me a discussion one of my cousins had with my grandma about 20 years ago. Back then, she had one of those centerfold physiques, and she wore pretty tight clothing. My grandma always told her that dressing like that, she was bound to attract a lot of unwanted attention. She told my grandma that it was her right to dress that way and it was wrong that creepy guys judged her as trashy for dressing like that. They were both right.
It’s sad, but that’s how the world works. It can be changed, but it takes time, and in the meantime, people do the best they can.
@Starfury
You explain it just fine.
My guess? They’re gaslighting you.
@Kat
Thank you, I really needed that and I think he’ll appreciate it too.
Wait and that is why young girls are send home because of too short shorts or skirts or for wearing tops, or, god forbid, because her brastraps are showing and it could distract the boys? Yeah but they can wear whatever they want righttttt???
I’m going to be vain and say that I can rock a woman’s suit, but I’ve also worn a formal saree as part of a friend’s wedding and the latter wrecks the former in terms of comfort*.
* It was also the dead of summer and in the middle of a heat wave and it was a very long** Indian wedding.
**Very long for my white ass. It was scandalously short for an Indian wedding. My friend talked her Mom down from three days to one by threatening to elope.
@me and not you – that’s the one!
@eloli It sounds like you are sexually harassing your employees. You THINK it’s welcome. It is probably not welcome.
As Jared H points out, referring to women as “surroundings” or “the view” is literally dehumanizing. As in, you refer to them not as people, but objects.
A bunch of women just told you to stop. Which is what I bet the women in your workplace wish they could do without fearing repercussions for their career or their reputation.
It is when that’s all you’re seeing her as, even if it’s only for a few moments. Regardless, the problem Emmy mentioned isn’t so much that you’re viewing your female colleagues that way but that you thought it was an appropriate thing to mention here.
It’s possible that your relationships with those women ARE friendly enough for you to exchange such banter with. But it’s also possible that their responses to you and their laughing is actually their method of trying to deflect your comments in a way that a) stops you from continuing them and b) causes as little drama as possible. It’s possible that your “friendly exchanges” actually make them uncomfortable but they feel it would cost too much to actually call you out, so they roll with it just to get said “exchange” over with.
Just food for thought.
EDIT: Ninja’d by Emmy, thought she said it more boldly than I did.
@leftwingfox LOL
@sunnysombrera can’t be said enough!
HR must love you.
@Emmy
Yeah. I based my words on my own experience working in customer service based jobs (for far too long, I need to get out). Occasionally I get inappropriate comments headed my way and although I would never combat it with a similarly “flirty” comment, due to the fact that customers can go running to managers with bullshit to try and get me into trouble I have to pull the whole “make a polite comeback, giggle and then inwardly retch once the creeper is gone.” If I didn’t have such a problem with having to be nice to every customer all of the time, I’d voice my mind much more clearly.
Obviously that kind of context is different to eloli’s, but I have to wonder if the women he interacts with aren’t just tolerating his comments because they don’t want to be labelled the office “fun-allergic drama queen” for speaking up. Those kinds of work environments exist and maybe eloli’s place has one, but he doesn’t see it because he’s not the one that suffers with it.
@Jarred H I neglected one of your Rs! Sorry.
@sunnysombrera I am in a corporate office where just last week the Head Dude (not his real title) made a joke about wet tshirt contests. I don’t do the laugh-to-get-along thing anymore and as a result I am considered the Fun Allergic Feminist. Slightly better than the alternative of pretending it’s okay, but neither option is good.