Watching the abomination that is Davis Aurini’s version of The Sarkeesian Effect “Immersed in Subversion,” I kept reminding myself that this was a “film” that cost tens of thousands of dollars to make. Virtually none of this money, obviously, found its way onto the screen.
Yesterday, partway through watching the “film,” I tweeted that I’d “seen flat earth videos with better production values.”
As proof, here are 5 low or no budget YouTube videos with better production values than Aurini’s terrible “film.” Including, yes, a flat earth one.
1) Bowling Ball Nut Drop!
Crisp image. Good coverage. There’s inconsistent color between some of the cameras, but I’ll forgive Nasty the Horse and his crew for that, as he just got hit in the nuts with a bowling ball. Twice.
2) DESPICABLE ME 2 – FART BLASTER!!! Unboxing & Review
This video has more than 8 million views. I have no idea why people watch these, but, hey, it’s very well done, and the kid is arguably a better narrator than Davis Aurini.
3) What the cats really get up to when no one is home
A couple attached Go-Pro cameras to each of their cats to see what they did when no one was around. Despite being literally filmed by cats, this video looks better than Aurini’s. The images are generally pretty crisp, and the shots are in many cases better composed than Aurini’s.
While the camerawork is shaky when the cats are in motion, this in many ways works in the cats’ favor, capturing the excitement of such cat activities as running around for no reason, and running around for no reason with a twist-tie in your mouth.
4) A Goldmine of Blackhead & Whitehead Extractions
This video makes clear why Dr. Sandra Lee is the queen of the pimple-poppers. Good lighting, steady camerawork, simple, understated graphics, unobtrusive editing, and lots of solid pops.
5) Top Proof We NEVER Went To The Moon!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inq72hrDac0
No, I didn’t forget about the flat earthers. Jeranism, a flat-earther and moon “truther,” may be completely wrong about pretty much everything, but his videos are a good deal slicker than the work of either Owen or Aurini. He puts out roughly 8 videos a month while taking in less than $400 a month on Patreon.
Hello.
Out of Topic, sorry, but i read in the newspaper today that some NRA folks had rewritten some fairy tales with the adding of guns (the article speak about the Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel and Gretel, so far). The article also states that this appropriation of old tales had lead to some parodies of this kind of misappropriation, like one of the three bears gunning down Goldenlocks for trespassing their property without authorization, same thing with the giant shooting Jack on his magic bean.
I wonder if the three little pigs should build an antiatomic shelter and equip themselves with some shotguns, or if the dwarves could kill Snowwhite because she came in without asking, or if the sleeping beauty could arrest the prince because first he came in the castle uninvited and then kiss her without her consent. I also suggest to equip the seven kids (in the goat meaning) with mini-guns to tear down the big bad wolf.
No more fairy tales, but more steely tales, it seems…
Have a nice day.
CN for grossness
Also a popper here…my adventure partner for life had a pimple on his back and I had to pop it for him. It was simultaneously the greatest and grossest moment of our relationship. It was so deep, like almost buried in the the depths of his skin. It took so much pressure to get it but Lordy we where so satisfied when that baby burst. The pressure was crazy and it went everywhere. Luckily Mr Ddog had a tissue ready for cleanup haha
Jeranism is a spoof site, surely? I know that flat-earthers do exist, but on the Patreon page linked to, on the right-hand side, we are told that for a $50 p/m donation we get to join them in a Google Hangout once a month, watching the ISS live feed or looking through NASA images. If there is anything that will prove the earth to be an oblate spheroid it’s the images from a space craft whizzing around the planet about once every 40 minutes without once having to make a sharp U-turn in order to stay on a flat plane.
Please, please tell me it’s a spoof. Nobody outside of religion can be that credulous.
@occasional reader – it’s not completely off-topic, if you consider that the post is about Very Silly Things 🙂
I wonder who would shoot who in Cinderella? I must confess that despite being very very pro gun control, the one fairy tale I’d like to see a gun in would be Bluebeard. Although Angela Carter’s brilliant re-telling of that one had the bride’s mother riding in on a massive horse, wielding an axe, and saving the day in the very nick of time, so …
Fingie has fallen in love with my backpack.
http://i374.photobucket.com/albums/oo188/dhag85/Mobile%20Uploads/20160328_235245_zps6b6ryimw.jpg
http://i374.photobucket.com/albums/oo188/dhag85/Mobile%20Uploads/20160328_235302_zpsnacul3yo.jpg
He also uses pillows in the intended way. Good boy!
@Imaginary Petal – Fingie is SO GORGEOUS. What a smug little face (a smuggleton, as we say in my house). Of course, you can never use your backpack again. Unless he decides it’s ok.
@Nobody Special – they are, of course, studying the feed and the images for tell-tale signs of fakery, thereby bolstering their beliefs and demonstrating the gullibility of the normies.
As entertaining as it would be to hang around in a chat room watching self-proclaimed experts grasp at straws, $50 a month seems steep.
Hey, off topic, but did anyone hear about the Discworld Monthly Facebook group debacle?
I’m not a member of that group, so only found out about it through a friend, but apparently the admin has been harrassed for years and eventually decided to close the group:
(Hope the picture embeds alright, it’s via Facebook which I guess might be tricky.)
I have absolutely no knowledge about what’s behind it, but it sounds like the typical GG-ish assholery, entitled idiots who think that anyone that doesn’t do things their way deserves harrassment, lies etc. – if anyone heard more about it, I’d like to know if this hunch is correct.
Okay, I cannot figure out how to get the picture on here. Here’s the link anyway:
?oh=46bceea0534801046fc3d4cfe8af7622&oe=5789BC05&__gda__=1469231657_d7be03327c7172be6dbcf274087e3b39
Oh, bother. Second (third?) try.
@Mish
I’ve always thought of his face as “honestly clueless”. :p
As someone who is massively squicked out by bodily fluids, this thread is a minefield XD.
My favourite part about the cat video was how much time Kitty 1 spent suspiciously tracking Kitty 2’s movement.
@Rick: He already mentioned Jews and Marxists. “Hollywood” and “leftists” are dog whistles for those groups, respectively.
Remember, folks: Nobody could be anything but a conservative without the sinister brainwashing and mind control of Moscow!
@Penny Psmith — the picture has to end in .jpeg or .gif to embed. Where’s the picture hosted?
> Mish
In Cinderella, maybe the bad mother and sisters for domestic violence ?
What about the Puss in Boots ? If the ogre shoots down the cat, no more Marquis of Carabas.
Hop-o’-My-Thumb could defeat the ogre who want to eat him with some magnum or desert eagle.
Maybe Peter would have killed the Wolf to save the Duck with a sniper rifle.
Oh, i did not know this version of Blue Beard. With an axe, really ? Well, anything with an axe is awesome, so this mother must be awesome too ! Let give this killer a close shave with it !
OMG, I knew this list would be a goldmine when Doc Sandra Lee’s video showed up… and then a link to more. Yikes, that’s an epic-size skintag.
Another zero budget video, which is way more fun and professional: Bengal cats talking.
Also, Didi — my Bengal — being unbearably cute.
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/CdrNsL4WIAElsP-.jpg
Oh, I would love a Bengal!
Falconer: They are so sweet cats!
A close friend has me interested in Maine Coons. They’re like gigantic furry lovemuffins, from my experiences. I’d still kinda like another Ragdoll myself, since my kitty best friend when I was little was a Ragdoll.
Nobody Special, nah, he’s real As Prios pointed out, flat earthers don’t think space is real, and are obsessed with “proving” that NASA fakes everything.
They also regularly attack one another for allegedly being secret NASA disinfo warriors. If I’m remembering properly, Jeranism is one of the ones who regularly gets accused of this, though AFAIK he’s not saying anything any more ridiculous than the rest of them.
@Cerulean (Miss A)
My black girlcat Desmond is a ragdoll or at least part ragdoll. She’s awesome, but so incredibly needy it can get on our nerves sometimes. She constantly climbs on us and taps us with her paws for attention. She won’t let us go in any closed rooms without meowing and scratching the door. Whenever we get a phone call she’ll run over and scream into the phone, making any intelligent conversation impossible. When my wife tries to work, the cat is always blocking her computer screen, trampling her keyboard, trying to climb up on top of her head, etc etc etc. There’s just no way to satisfy her.
This probably has nothing to do with being a ragdoll! It’s just me rambling about my cats again. :p
Sadly I don’t know how to take good pictures of black cats, which is why Fingie is the internet celeb of the two. She’s super cute in real life, but in photos she just looks like a pile of goop.
Imaginary Petal:
But piles of goop with two shiny eyes (and occasionally mouth and teeth) are cute! They look like sootballs from Spirited Away!
Three of our cats have been Maine Coon mixes. Adorable fuzzbutts, and very attached to their people. Two of them are gone now; we miss them very much.
ETA: Here’s the guy I miss the most, looking all tired and brave after he’d been diagnosed with cancer.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v145/oracle_watching/Kitty/IMG_0245_zpsb3372c31.jpg
The video filmed by cats is fantastic. It has a narrative, action, pacing, and exciting and innovative filmwork. Comparing this video with Aurini’s hot mess is really unfair to Aurini.
PoM: Exactly, and people who have been generously treated by Dr. Sandra Lee are going to feel relieved after those blackheads, comedones (some of which are very sore and leaky), etc are removed. Again, “relief” is not a feeling I would attribute to Aurini’s blorp.
I can’t bring myself to watch the blackhead video. I respect all y’all who like it, but it gives me a literal gross shiver.
The cat video though? Those cats really portray that they are full autonomous creatures with inner lives that don’t depend at all on the humans or on one another. That’s well beyond Aurini’s skill level, and probably comprehension also.