Misogynistic men tend to have a rather possessive attitude towards women’s bodies. They often grow quite angry when women deviate from the standards of beauty that these men think they should conform to — by doing everything from gaining weight to getting tattoos and piercings.
It’s as though they believe that women’s bodies don’t really belong to women at all, but to the world’s (heterosexual) men. By “ruining” their looks, these women aren’t just making the straight men of the world sad in their pants; they’re damaging something that these men feel belongs to them.
You may recall the racist PUA Heartiste’s recent complaints that the world’s white women weren’t “exercising good stewardship of their Golden Gashes,” by allowing themselves to get fat and/or sleep with black men. “Stewardship,” is an interesting choice of words here, as the term usually applies to those who take care of a resource that belongs to someone else, or to society as a whole. In other words. all your vagina are belong to us.
Misogynistic men rarely put it quite so baldly, instead preferring to simply attack those women who don’t pay proper obeisance to their notions of what is and isn’t attractive. A lot of this animus is directed at fat women. But it’s also directed at women who break the rules of femininity in more deliberate ways.
Like not shaving their armpits. Some women don’t shave because they don’t really care; some because they’re sick of razor bun; and some because they see it as a small rebellion against conventional femininity — and a way to show themselves and/or the world at large that their bodies are theirs. Regardless of the reasons, misogynists see the unshaven female armpit as an assault on men.
Cue the wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Yes, that’s right, this mememaker thinks that the best way to stand up for all the men who are allegedly being shamed by feminists for not liking armpit hair … is by shaming women with armpit hair.
And no, dudes, you are not required to like armpit hair on women.
Here’s another meme that also tries to play up the phony “double standard” issue.
Shamed for being a neckbeard? I wonder what that’s like.
These guys also have something of an animus towards hair on any other part of a women besides her scalp and possibly that secret place:
Here’s a sentence that has never been uttered by a feminist ever except perhaps in befuddlement after seeing this meme: “Look at that asshole forcing his man beard on my eyes damn shitlord.”
There is no feminist campaign against beards or beardy dudes. Some feminist women like them; some don’t, because that’s how the world works. Different people find different things attractive, and people who aren’t assholes don’t go around attacking those who don’t appeal to them as if these unattractive-to-them people are being unattractive to them out of spite.
Several years ago, feminist YouTube sex educator Laci Green made a similar point, writing on her blog that
body hair is a matter of personal preference! it’s not a matter of “boys do this and girls do this”, and it’s supermega uncool for people to body police those who have a different preference than they do. pffff. fuzzy or hairless, you’re a friggin babe either way.
Alongside this mini-manifesto, she posted this picture, revealing a small puff of hair under one of her arms:
Naturally, the Great Internet Lady Hate Squad decided that they did need to police her body, or at least her body hair:
If women who don’t shave their legs or armpits are seen as poor stewards of their bodies, which really don’t belong to them, then men who don’t stand up against this terrible misandering are traitors to their gender.
That fellow looks awfully familiar, possibly because it’s me. The quote isn’t anything I actually ever said; up until this post I don’t think I’ve ever spoken out on this particular issue, largely because it’s really none of my damn business what women do with their armpits. (Though in the interest of full disclosure I will add that I don’t really care one way or the other.)
Here’s the most revealing armpit hair meme of them all:
Yep, she’s apparently being “selfish” by denying the men of the world a view of her armpit that’s not obstructed by hair.
Dudes, if you’re that interested in seeing shaved armpits, go shave your own, and take a day off from work so you can spend the day staring at it in the mirror.
You know who else doesn’t like women with hairy armpits (in general) and this feminist with hairy armpits (in particular)? White supremacists.
What a weird coincidence, huh?
I think the internet has made people who hold extreme views feel less isolated, and so has made them feel more accustomed to being able to share those views.
On the topic of body hair, I have seen my significant other with unshaven legs and I’ve seen her with shaven legs. I’d be lying if I said it really mattered to me either way. What matters is that she’s comfortable.
Leda Atomica:
I’m gonna be the big party pooper and note that American media consumption is very, very, very high over here (remember, “third native language” jokes), and this combined with the worst pits of the internet, with several native pits… yeah. I got a lot of memories from early 90s and LAN parties and computer communities, and fuck, while the attitude “hit on girls/women” was there, this sort of dumbfuckery did not really fly in Finnish scene.
Add to this mix that Finnish people have been and still are in solid state of denial about racism and sexism in this country and who wrongly assume that “racism” starts with desire to lynch people, and not from everyday tiny shittery they do.
Of course, as we’ve seen with Persut and Puutos, people are still denying racism even when the assholes are calling for actual lynchings or civil war or whatever.
@ Leda
Oh, I’m not saying the new wave of awful attitudes consists only of uneducated or disprivileged people, god no! Or even that their attitudes are worse than those of privileged people. I don’t believe that. I really can’t see much of a difference either way.
But I do think their inclusion has helped make the atmosphere such that people worry about what they sound like and how they will be perceived by others a whole lot less. For many people, those have been the major motives to pay lip service to feminism in the last decades. And now they’re losing their effect.
Preach. My family is stressful in this way. Saying the n-word is not racist – it’s just a joke because we are not killing anyone!
@dust bunny
Oh I understand you now! Yes I agree that it’s far more alright to just express all kinds of things out loud. I think this phenomenon is why all kinds of famous people slip up some incredibly arrogant comments, like the recent breast feeding tweet or that musician (I’m awful with celebrity names) who said women with tattoos are ugly. And if you say this shit isn’t ok, you get so much backlash for being a kukkahattutäti. Like THAT is the worst, most offencive thing you can do: criticise bigotry.
So glad that something as simple as my armpits obviously irritates assholes.
Suffer douches.
Leda Atomica:
I think you should make ’em read this site and note that even if it is US-focused, lots of those things shown are also things that happened elsewhere. And then ask if it is funny. I will note that reading Jim Crow Museum’s site slapped the shit out of my mind, and then I understood why that certain licorice wrapper was “Oh my god, we’re still doing this shit!?” and did 180 degree turn on everything about where racism actually starts.
If it is still funny, ask them if “finnjävla” is funny. Ask if 1950-1970s Swedish stereotypes of Finns (who, I will point out, moved to find a job, aka “looking for a better life and who probably took some Swedish jobs too”) are thigh-slappingly funny.
There’s so much wrong, and in my experience, Finns are too fucking proud and back-patting — it is like social Dunning-Kruger writ large — about their achievements. Not many are willing to acknowledge that the scars caused by Finnish Civil War in 1918 still linger on, and women’s scars are hushed away. After all, that might break the illusion of oh-so-pro-women state.
I can’t even see the “nationalist” woman’s armpits so for all we know they could be approaching overgrown jungle status and barely contained by the boundaries of her sleeves.
@skiriki
I’ve pointed out to them that in our family there were Finns who were not regarded well for coming to Sweden, that there were people who moved to US and the Klan really disapproved, and that in old Swedish text books Finns are classified as a lower race with whom you should never procreate. But for them it’s “real racism” when the shoe is in this foot, not when they do it. It’s frustrating. These are intelligent people but try to bring up a social issue like racism and they get very defensive. And if I say something is sexist it’s like I should be examined for drugs.
@Leda
I live in “feminist” Sweden since 12 years and I noticed a lot of Swedes got mad about woman’s armpit hair too, feminism in Sweden is still a display than a real mentality, imho.
On topic, I really wonder when that became an issue. As a 40-y old, I remember growing up in Italy and, as a child, nobody was giving a shit about woman’s armpit hair, girls rather regarded it as a sign of reached adulthood. Now it has become a kind of moral offense if a woman lets it grow.
I understand there are some people earning money from this, but the social pressure is getting far too annoying and disturbing.
@Leda Atomica and @skiriki
I too have noticed the rather worrying trend of misogynist and racist sentiment rearing its ugly head in Finnish society. Having grown up in the 1980s and 1990s (although some might say that I’m still not really grown up at age 34) I’d say that especially misogyny is a lot more noticeable now. That might also have to do with the fact that I’m more socially aware now, although I did know even as a small child that certain terms and ways of phrasing things were racist, so I dunno. In any case, I do feel that as a whole Finland is going towards a rather nasty future if things continue as they seem to be doing now.
On another note, I’d like to point out that back in the late 1990s, when I was in high school (or “lukio” for us Finns), it was quite normal for most of us guys to shave off our armpit hair as well. I think most of us did it every day or every other day as a matter of course. It was mainly due to the belief that the
(TMI Warning)
sweaty stank of a teenage boy
(TMI Warning over)
was due to uncontrolled armpit hair. So naturally we would shave it off. Indeed, in my late teenage years I was even commented on having very hairy legs, since I never shaved them, but that hasn’t happened since the early 2000s.
I would like to apologize for the formatting issues that my excessive spaces may cause.
@SFHC –
I’ve wondered the same. Another take could be that, on average, women / those with a higher estrogen to testosterone % have less body hair than men
–> less body hair = fertility signaling
—-> no visible body hair = OMGZZZ (in the same way that improbably large breasts = OMGZZZ).
This could “work” in that it’d be both a signifier of “femaleness” and a signifier of youth…or extreme youth, in the case of these asshats.
Aside: I know that the above’s delving into Evo-Psych territory. I write it knowing that, while it may have some explanatory power, it’s likely BS.
I don’t know if pointing out Swedish bigotry against Finns would help too much. At least it doesn’t help to point out to white Americans with Irish ancestry that there was a time they were hated for nothing but their ethnicity here. If anything they decide that they’re just as oppressed as non-white people, therefore it’s not really racism.
Cole Yote Trump pic: Ugh, Donald Trump. I cannot wait for the day when I shall be able to forget his existence. I realized that he is probably the king of all MRAs since women doing human things like going to the restroom, menstruating, and lactating cause him such great distress that he has to have a public hissy fit on national TV over them. So maturity, such dignified, much distinguished!
@WWTH
Eeeyup. Shortened version of a fight I had with my uncle yesterday:
Uncle: “Blah blah Islamophobia blah IMMIGRANTS blah.”
Me: “We’re Irish, you fucknut. And granddad was an immigrant.”
Uncle: “But those [racist slurs] bomb us! We’ve never bombed anyone!”
Me: “Do The Troubles ring a bell at all?”
Uncle: “That’s different.”
*HEADWALL*
” Some women don’t shave because they don’t really care; some because they’re sick of razor bun; and some because they see it as a small rebellion against conventional femininity — and a way to show themselves and/or the world at large that their bodies are theirs. ” – or, you know, maybe they actually *prefer* how it looks?
I do shave, but only because I have psoriasis and if I don’t it itches even more and I scratch until I bleed – so I shave most of my body hair off. If I didn’t have it, I wouldn’t – I like how it looks. Several friends of mine regularly colour their armpit and pubic hair to match their heads – bright green, deep red, purple etc. I wish I could do that!
Yeah it didn’t help much. And even though there was real oppression of Finns under Swedish rule, it’s still not the exact same as skin colour racism is today. I just thought to point out that anyone can be oppressed in a society that accepts oppressive language or behaviour. That even if you don’t object to oppression in general because you’re a decent human being, you should be concerned that not objecting to oppression might mean that some day YOU are the one oppressed.
In my experience though the response is ‘meh’.
@Monzach
I first went to school in the early 90’s, and it was at an area in Turku that had attracted a lot of refugees etc, we were considered the most multinational school in the city.
In my experience racism was still quite ok to express but in a much more inquisitive, innocent way. (Maybe it’s because I was a child I experienced it like this)
Like, you’d have a classmate from Iraq and you’d ask them about the different things their culture means to them or you’d ask why they do things in a different way. In many ways a multicultural class was SO brilliant, you’d have all these friends from Russia, Albania, Estonia, Somalia, Vietnam, Lebanon, Iraq, Iran etc. But I still remember people using racist terms, especially the adults. So racism was still kind of open and public but we didn’t think it was such a big deal because we didn’t see oppression.
Nowadays we are quite familiar with the concept of oppression and what it does to people. And I think it’s a lot more sinister that now with this new awareness there are still people who are willing to use racist language. Either they are completely ignorant or willfully spiteful against people. And that sort of conduct has increased, the deliberate offensiveness. The righteousness of being aggravated just because someone is not from here or dares to be feeeemale or LGBTQ. It’s more accepted now.
@mockingbird – To add to your ideas, I think conventional fashion also has a history of taking traits that are considered feminine and emphasizing/exaggerating them. Since women tend to be less hairy on average than men, I guess hairless legs and armpits are supposed to make women look “more feminine” (and to sell more razors, of course).
Another hair-related thing I noticed, from when I was a kid and interested in drawing cartoons, is that women and girls are often drawn with eyelashes, a feature that’s often left out in drawing men or boys. Again, women don’t have THAT much longer eyelashes than men do, but it gets exaggerated.
Finally, head hair. Even if some women have an easier time growing it long than men do, it’s not an extreme difference… but it got coded into a lot of cultures that long hair = feminine and short hair = masculine.
Re: dyeing armpit hair – @somebody, @Orion, @faerierhona – that sounds fun! In real life I’m kinda shy and my default look a lot of the time is “don’t notice me,” but it’s fun to play with conventions.
The best thing about it is, apparently, you can just get some piercings and tattoos and automatically repel some of these guys you definitely don’t want. You could advertise it almost like an MRA/PUA/Red Pill bug spray. 😀
Also, it’s definitely not a sign of “conventional femininity” to be completely hairless. The medieval princess type that guys idealize? Yeah she would have had armpit and leg hair. Apparently guys were totally cool with it and managed to still procreate and find women attractive up until the 1900s which is when women started shaving. Now men apparently lose their minds over some fuzz. Also, do they really think, in this modern age, that these “ugly feminist” propaganda memes will work? We’ve seen the likes of Emma Watson and Jennifer Lawrence. We know feminists are not inherently “ugly.” In fact, most modern women are feminists. I’ve never come across one who isn’t in real life. They may not be the biggest activists, but most will support women’s rights and improvement if you ask them their views. That’s feminism. Being a feminist doesn’t mean not shaving your armpits. I’m sure most people do. The point is having the choice and breaking stereotypical notions of feminine beauty *if you choose to*. These guys are so myopic.
weirwoodtreehugger:
It’s a bit different here, than Irish situation in America — Finland used to be… well, Sweden’s colony, bluntly put, and when Russians took over after Sweden lost yet another war, they kept the existing Swedes/Swedish-privileging systems in seat of power because hey, they already know how to rule Finns, why bother changing (too much) something that works. And that’s a “bit” sore spot which also lingers around. 100 and 200+ years later.
However, as Leda Atomica mentioned… yeah, not helpful, if people are really not understanding why it is brought up. A mix of pride and outright stubbornness, combined with incredible short-sightedness.
I weep for my nation and its people.
Last year, for a few months I grew my armpit hair. My sons (aged 6 and 8) were kind of freaked out by it at first. I think being at an age where social conventions are important to them due to kids at school made them feel uneasy about breaking conventions.
Anyway, I decided to dye it and let my boys choose what colour. Tom chose red for my right pit, Cody chose blue for my left armpit. After that they thought it was so cool that I had pit hair. We had a great conversation about how people can look however they want to and it’s not our business. Tom decided that when he grows pit hair he’ll dye it. Cody says he’ll shave his.
So not only did I commit misandry by growing my pit hair, I’m raising sons who understand that women can have hair and tattoos and whatever they want. Double misandry!!
@ Leda
Hahaha, kukkis pride! “Kukkahattutäti” used to be my nick on some Finnish language forums (or possibly irc channels) back in the paleolithic internet. I also made a friend an actual kukkahattu for her birthday, it was pretty rad.
I think we need a movement.
dust bunny, Leda & other like-minded Finns:
Here’s a little pro-tip a friend of mine gave when doing anti-racism, anti-homophobia, anti-whatever demonstrations, and when there’s a very realistic fear that violent/sufficiently annoying bigots may show up and cause trouble.
It seems that aforementioned bigots are allergic to following things:
Cute sundresses with large floral patterns.
Skirts with large floral patterns.
Large hats with flower patterns or fake flowers.
Clothes with lots of pink, cat patterns/pictures, flower patterns or various combinations of thereof.
Clothes with “girly” soft colors or “happy” bright colors, anything which isn’t edgelord black or similar.
Scarves, handbags, other femininely coded accoutrements.
Actual bouquets of flowers (especially if you want to hand out some to people).
She observed a pattern that whenever the anti-bigotry group was decked out like this, the bigot crew lingered around for a while and then skulked away, seemingly unable to deal with it — or possibly afraid of starting some shit, because reasons (whatever they may be).
My wife likes smooth armpits and makes me wince. She plucks. Good grief that must hurt ! I can also remember my grandad’s moustache as being green. Nobody mentioned it so I thought it was normal. I was only little when he died, but these days I suspect he’d had an accident trying to dye out the grey that’s even now spreading through my own whiskers.