Misogynistic men tend to have a rather possessive attitude towards women’s bodies. They often grow quite angry when women deviate from the standards of beauty that these men think they should conform to — by doing everything from gaining weight to getting tattoos and piercings.
It’s as though they believe that women’s bodies don’t really belong to women at all, but to the world’s (heterosexual) men. By “ruining” their looks, these women aren’t just making the straight men of the world sad in their pants; they’re damaging something that these men feel belongs to them.
You may recall the racist PUA Heartiste’s recent complaints that the world’s white women weren’t “exercising good stewardship of their Golden Gashes,” by allowing themselves to get fat and/or sleep with black men. “Stewardship,” is an interesting choice of words here, as the term usually applies to those who take care of a resource that belongs to someone else, or to society as a whole. In other words. all your vagina are belong to us.
Misogynistic men rarely put it quite so baldly, instead preferring to simply attack those women who don’t pay proper obeisance to their notions of what is and isn’t attractive. A lot of this animus is directed at fat women. But it’s also directed at women who break the rules of femininity in more deliberate ways.
Like not shaving their armpits. Some women don’t shave because they don’t really care; some because they’re sick of razor bun; and some because they see it as a small rebellion against conventional femininity — and a way to show themselves and/or the world at large that their bodies are theirs. Regardless of the reasons, misogynists see the unshaven female armpit as an assault on men.
Cue the wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Yes, that’s right, this mememaker thinks that the best way to stand up for all the men who are allegedly being shamed by feminists for not liking armpit hair … is by shaming women with armpit hair.
And no, dudes, you are not required to like armpit hair on women.
Here’s another meme that also tries to play up the phony “double standard” issue.
Shamed for being a neckbeard? I wonder what that’s like.
These guys also have something of an animus towards hair on any other part of a women besides her scalp and possibly that secret place:
Here’s a sentence that has never been uttered by a feminist ever except perhaps in befuddlement after seeing this meme: “Look at that asshole forcing his man beard on my eyes damn shitlord.”
There is no feminist campaign against beards or beardy dudes. Some feminist women like them; some don’t, because that’s how the world works. Different people find different things attractive, and people who aren’t assholes don’t go around attacking those who don’t appeal to them as if these unattractive-to-them people are being unattractive to them out of spite.
Several years ago, feminist YouTube sex educator Laci Green made a similar point, writing on her blog that
body hair is a matter of personal preference! it’s not a matter of “boys do this and girls do this”, and it’s supermega uncool for people to body police those who have a different preference than they do. pffff. fuzzy or hairless, you’re a friggin babe either way.
Alongside this mini-manifesto, she posted this picture, revealing a small puff of hair under one of her arms:
Naturally, the Great Internet Lady Hate Squad decided that they did need to police her body, or at least her body hair:
If women who don’t shave their legs or armpits are seen as poor stewards of their bodies, which really don’t belong to them, then men who don’t stand up against this terrible misandering are traitors to their gender.
That fellow looks awfully familiar, possibly because it’s me. The quote isn’t anything I actually ever said; up until this post I don’t think I’ve ever spoken out on this particular issue, largely because it’s really none of my damn business what women do with their armpits. (Though in the interest of full disclosure I will add that I don’t really care one way or the other.)
Here’s the most revealing armpit hair meme of them all:
Yep, she’s apparently being “selfish” by denying the men of the world a view of her armpit that’s not obstructed by hair.
Dudes, if you’re that interested in seeing shaved armpits, go shave your own, and take a day off from work so you can spend the day staring at it in the mirror.
You know who else doesn’t like women with hairy armpits (in general) and this feminist with hairy armpits (in particular)? White supremacists.
What a weird coincidence, huh?
I shave my head twice weekly. Trying to figure out if that makes me a misandrist or a misogynist, both, or neither?
So anyone who didn’t know about and/or isn’t automatically repulsed at the thought of women with armpit hair would probably be super confused by that Laci Green image since the photo, you know, kind of shows what she actually looks like: super adorkable.
Speaking of dorks. David you have a problem man.
On topic:
The sheer sense of entitlement some men have towards women’s bodies is just unfathomable. Like it’s not like these women are even their partners; they’re shaming complete strangers for not adhering to their standards of beauty, as well as men who don’t also feel the same way.
Not to mention it’s rather hypocritical to demand your partner perform a grooming habit that you don’t perform yourself.
Haven’t shaved my legs or armpits in 25 years, never had any complaints from my partners. Honestly I don’t think anyone outside of an intimate partner or maybe the people at the pool/beach notices.
I do shave my chin hairs though. Hey, I’m 51. Chin hairs happen and mine annoy me. I don’t care if anyone else keeps theirs.
The Patti Smith picture just made me think of the old SNL sketches with Gilda Radner as “Candy Slice”.
http://www.morethings.com/fan/saturday_night_live/gilda_radner/gilda-radner-candy-slice-snl-1978-242.jpg
As for hair– my husband doesn’t mind that I don’t shave any of my body hair (though my leg hair has a weird, uneven look because I had to have my left calf in a cast for a while. I’m toying with waxing both legs and seeing if that helps them even out). I do have a couple chin hairs I pluck, not because they’re visible but because sometimes if I’m resting my chin in my hands I feel them and they feel weird.
@Freemage
Oh yeah, I remember that scene. It’s a pretty common trope in media (unless horror like you said) to have women die in “pretty” ways while men can die in the most gruesome, twisted, ugly, bloody way you can imagine. Even while suffering in terrible pain and literally dying women still have to look perfect I guess.
And I will gladly take those i-hugs. Today wasn’t my best day.
@Bina
That is fucking sickening, and just…I don’t even have words. What in the fuck is wrong with MRAs, man? Are they even human? What the fuck. That is very upsetting, speaking as someone who has been through the absolute living hell on earth that is anorexia. I think I’m gonna sit the rest of this thread out. I can’t deal with horrible people being horrible anymore tonight. Think I’ve hit my threshold.
Goodnight everyone, continue discussion of armpit hair and various personal shaving habits. *quietly scuttles out of thread*
i haven’t shaved in, jeez, years now? when i first quit finding out how long the strands actually get was something of a surprise, since their ‘resting length’ is longer than it was when i started shaving.
there are probably a lot of women out there who don’t know how long their leg or armpit hairs naturally are. this isn’t exactly critical knowledge, but it’s weird, the way the performance of femininity can kind of cut you off from knowing certain things about your body.
I had a discussion with my 10-year-old daughter a couple of months ago about armpit hair. She has grown a noticeable amount of it (though luckily she is not growing breasts or getting her period — please not yet!). Anyway, she was feeling self-conscious, especially during her gymnastics class, what with the sleeveless leotards and having to repeatedly raise her arms above her head. So, trying to be as neutral as possible, I said that I could think of three ways to deal with the situation: 1) wear a leotard with sleeves that would cover her armpits; 2) remove her armpit hair; or 3) try not to worry about it. And, after some reflection she decided to try not to worry about it. She hasn’t said a word about it since. I am pleased.
Hm. I don’t think I’d ever say ““Look at that asshole forcing his man beard on my eyes damn shitlord” – even if I added the missing punctuation – but now I suddenly want to dye my armpit hair bright green. Not just pale or dark green. Bright green. BRIGHT HIGHLIGHTER GREEN TO HIGHLIGHT HOW FEMINIST I AM.
Leda Atomica:
I have a suggestion — if Mr. Atomica is bothered by leg hair, how about this deal: whenever you feel like the hair on your legs has to go, he has to shave it, since he’s the one bothered by it. 😀
Also, as a side note — yes, I’m afraid that Finnish feminism (especially on male side) has slid back a lot in last twenty-five years.
These guys seem like they’re constantly blaming feminists for something one terrible exgirlfriend said to them one time.
Like that one about “eww shave it off”. That feels exactly like when a little kid reenacts their parents arguing using like dolls or whatever.
Heck, only time one of my girlfriends criticized my beard, it was cause she thought I should have more of it. (She was right, my goatee looked terrible. Now I have like a full lumberjack beard and it’s awesome.)
Hmm. I don’t shave my armpits because it kind of bugs me that women are supposed to look like children. Or dolls.
Plus razor burn.
Not to mention, I like to be a natural woman as much as possible.
That said, if I ever wore anything sleeveless, I probably would shave.
Also, I’m gonna take exception to these guys’ claims that hairy armpits are a deal-breaker for them. Presumably, that’s because they get to choose from lots and lots of women. And their sensibilities are refined. These guys crack me up!
PS: I’ve been neglecting to shave my armpits for years. Not one partner has mentioned my irresponsible attitude, which no doubt contributes to White Genocide.
OT but awsome!
Caroline Casey, host of “The Visionary Activist” on the Pacifica Radio Network, said that “it’s all over the mythic news” about how a sparrow landed on Bernie’s podium while he was giving a speech in Oregon. The crowd went wild!
A message of encouragement from the animal world?
Read “This One Bird for Sanders”:
http://www.commondreams.org/news/2016/03/25/one-bird-sanders-world-peace-political-revolution-and-sparrow
@ ColeYote
The Chris Kluwe was much appreciated. Thank you.
I used to shave my pits, and then I got an ingrown armpit hair and it sucked. So I stopped, and now I have hairy armpits. The horror!
Why are they so upset about Laci Green’s armpits? That’s barely peach fuzz imo.
It’s a dickhead thing, dickheads have to tell everyone about who and what they find attractive completely unsolicited, even regarding total strangers.
The obsession with body hair is so very weird.
Even though I do shave my underarms (for personal comfort – it tickles like hell if I don’t), I can never shake the feeling that this whole “Women must be completely hairless below the scalp!” thing is based on paeophilia. They’re literally asking us to look like prepubescent children for the sake of their boners. Eugh.
I like it when people have hairs on their legs. It looks cute like a kitten. As for armpits when you get to sleep next to the woman you love every night it doesn’t really matter at all what hairs she has. But I suppose living with and loving women required the ability to see women as human beings which these MRA are incapable of.
@skiriki
It’s just that I can live without the bleeding. 😀
Maybe I’ll ask him to shave his legs every time I do. He lives in Belgium so at this time it’s not an issue, but there will come a time when it will raise its head.
RE: Finnish feminism, I feel like teenage boys and young men have become very openly misogynistic. I don’t know where this developement comes from but it’s something that bothers me.
@ Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Prepubescent, but with enormous breasts. One of the reasons Japanese anime is so popular with MRA-ers.
Keep young and beautiful, right enough.
Don’t these people realise how much more peaceful and relaxing their lives would be if they stopped trying to control the uncontrollable? i.e. anything and anyone outside of themselves. Even your own body you have a limited amount of control over…
It’s like raging at the wind for blowing or the water for being wet. How much grief they give themselves and others with this erroneous mindset.
A while ago I wondered to myself what it would be like if we lived in a world where we treated our pit/body hair like the hair on our heads. Something we could have fun with by styling and being creative, instead of something unpleasant that must be tolerated and managed.
Maybe it would be something like this… (this is an image I photo shopped).
My girlfriend did actually dye her armpit hair BRIGHT HIGHLIGHTER PINK TO SHOW HOW FEMINIST SHE IS once.
Honestly though, bright pastel armpit colors don’t really “pop” if you’re pale of skin so it wasn’t as ALLCAPS ALARMING as hoped.
@ Leda
I feel like being retrograde and horrible has become more acceptable and respectable in Finnish society in general. Think about Persut. We’re a lot like Americans in many of the worst ways. Both cultures have huge problems with polarisation and authoritarianism these days.
I’m sure it comes ultimately from fear, and try to have some sympathy for it. It’s also partly a consequence of some unequivocally good things, like how uneducated and low SES people are no longer successfully silenced in public discourse. It’s to be expected some of them won’t heed rules of propriety privileged and educated people came up with – specifically to set themselves apart from the “trash”. I’d probably reject that shit too if I wasn’t born to privilege. It’s not right that people should have to choose between their dignity on the one hand, and pragmatism, wisdom and humility on the other.
Growing body hair, cutting the hair on their head short, gaining weight, wearing certain clothes, getting tattoos or piercings, pretty much anything women do to their own bodies that signifies “disobedience” is what gets these possessive, entitled dudes so riled up. Control is what it’s really about.
As for the trope of women having to stay pretty even when maimed or killed, I have to also add that I tend to sense an extra level of sadism directed at female characters, especially in horror movies. The men’s deaths when the villain/monster gets them are usually shorter and with less “torture porn” vibes. They’re certainly less sexualized.
@dust bunny
I’m not sure I agree that this only comes from people who aren’t “educated” or privileged. But yes, attitudes have taken a very sharp turn towards the crude and harsh. I feel like it’s ok to present very hateful ideas out loud.