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Dudes! If you’re friends with a lady, “you’re a vagina,” explains Reddit lady expert

Dogzoned!
Dogzoned!

Fellas! Do you have any female friends? Do you hang out with them without having sex?

Well, apparently you’re doing it all wrong, at least according to the world-class relationship expert and Red Pill Redditor Throwaway244555. In a recent post on the Red Pill subreddit, he explained the fundamental rule of male-female friendships, which is that there should be no male-female friendships.

Woman are friends with woman, and they have sex with men. So if you’re her friend, you’re a vagina.

Remember, fellas, women are for sex, so if one of them wants to Netflix and chill without the chill part, tell her she’ll have to Netflix alone. By the way, “chill” in this context means sex. Like coffee, Netflix and chill means sex. And may not involve Netflix at all.

You ask this girl to be your gf, she rejects you but ask if we can still be friends. That’s a insult, she thinks less of you.

If a woman likes you, Mr. Throwaway244555 contends, she will let you put your penis in her. If she says she likes you yet is not interested in your penis she is insulting you to your very core. And if you actually do become friends with her, you are failing so utterly as a man that you might as well be a vagina.

A male and female aren’t suppose to be friends, they’re suppose to be love intrest. So basically you’re a vagina, because girls are suppose to be friends with girls, and fuck men. Also girls are horrible friends, all they do is leech off you, and cause drama.

So when a girl rejects you, and puts you in the friendzone, it’s a insult. Next time she says let’s just be friends, say no thank you.

DO NOT LET HER ROPE YOU IN WITH HER TALK OF “FRIENDSHIP.”

Or, I dunno, you could just go ahead and be friends with her, and look elsewhere for sex and/or romance?

I mean, sure, if you’re in love with a woman who isn’t in love with you, you’ll probably do the both of you a favor if you move on instead of taking her friendship as a “consolation prize,” which is really a shitty thing to consider a friendship to be.

Or if you decide to become “friends” with a woman because you hope to eventually manipulate her into having sex with you, well, that’s pretty shitty too. So stop it, and move on.

All this applies as well with the genders reversed, and in same-sex couples, and indeed in any gender variation possible.

But Jesus H. Christ, dudes, you can be friends with a woman if you want to. You can be friends with her if you don’t want to have sex with her. And you can be friends with her even if you sorta do.

I mean, seriously, dudes, you know that gay men are friends with other gay men that they never actually have sex with, right?

That said, if you’re a Red Pill dude, I would strongly suggest you not become friends with any women at all until you cease to be a Red Pill dude.

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weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

We don’t even have to feed this troll anymore. He’s bursting all on his own!

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 years ago

His sense of meter just got actively painful.

I hope to hell he’s doing that intentionally.

Chandler
Chandler
8 years ago

@Gaebolga

FUCK YOU I WILL BE A POET AND YOU WILL DEAL WITH IT. POETRY ISN’T FOR GIRLS, MOM. I WILL RUN AWAY WITH AN OLDER MAN LIKE RIMBAUD IF YOU DONT…

Sorry, force of habit.

calmdown
calmdown
8 years ago

Ok. I…have no idea what he’s going on about now. Not that I ever really did.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 years ago

What, failed attempts at wit?

That’s not a habit, dude, that’s just incompetence.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 years ago

Strum und drang herald
the sorrows of young Chandler
and Von Mises weeps

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 years ago

Okay, I’m bored now. See y’all in the morning.

Chandler
Chandler
8 years ago

@Gaebolga

Obviously, my attempt at wit was more successful than your mom’s abortion (how many holes do you have in your face from the coat-hanger?).

Starfury
Starfury
8 years ago

I usually operate a ‘never read the comments’ policy so I’m rarely exposed to the inanities of trolls.. but I don’t really understand Chandler’s motivation. I wonder if he thinks all this really daft bile is actually offensive or if he is just venting due to frustration in his real life.

Mr Chandler, life can be very unfair to everyone sometimes and I’m sure whatever you are going through hurts but raging here seems futile; your time would be better spent finding ways to improve your prospects instead of mindlessly trolling (which purely entertains those you profess to despise)

You won’t halt progress and it seems to upset you greatly, try to take a break from resenting it even if you can’t accept it. Try reading something that doesn’t contribute to your anger or dedicate your time to learning a new skill. Things can be better for you.

Starfury
Starfury
8 years ago

@kupo

Thank you for the word of welcome earlier in the thread =)

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@Starfury
Welcome! I hope you return–but only if you want to.

And thanks for those kind words to the troll. Although they weren’t addressed to me, I found them helpful.

Carr
Carr
8 years ago

Yes, I live with my mother. I would be gainfully employed by now, but I literally lost a job that should have been mine because someone else with darker skin applied and got it.

No, I’m sure every white person who was never hired for a certain job wasn’t hired because of people with a different skin colorapplied/a woman applied/a transperson applied/the boss was mean. It’s not because maybe you weren’t as good as the person who got the job. I mean, you MRA,PUA,etc. types always do think nothing is because of you, the fault is always with someone else.

And seriously ”I didn’t get the job because other people applied” is a teeeeerrible excuse.

mockingbird
mockingbird
8 years ago

Anyhoo, I really said it wrong when I said “Feminist just means single”, it was pointed out to me that this wit is from the 70s; hey, that’s when I invented the phrase, he he.

This is way late and he’s probably not even reading anymore, but, dude…Regford…if you’re old enough for this to be true and you’re still trolling in your free time, get a fucking a hobby.

Like, a productive one.

Gardening can be lovely – calming.
Maybe make some models.

If those aren’t your speed, Arduino, maybe?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
8 years ago

I don’t really understand Chandler’s motivation.

He tried to troll us with pseudo-intellectual bullshit, realized a page ago that it wasn’t going to work, and just started spouting whatever he thinks will get our attention. In my experience, people like this desperately need attention but aren’t willing to ask for it, so they act out to get it.

In the end, though, it doesn’t matter why he’s doing it. What matters is that he’s here dancing like a sad clown for our entertainment.

Welcome!

mockingbird
mockingbird
8 years ago

*reads Chandler’s vomit*

I almost feel bad for the guy.

I mean…he’s either the most deluded person on the planet or is desperately, agonizingly aching for absolutely any attention.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
8 years ago

@mockingbird

I know, right? It’s sad that he doesn’t think he can approach his friends and say, straightforwardly, “Guys, I didn’t get that job I really needed, and I’m really down right now. Can we hang for a while so I don’t feel so alone in the world?”

Of course, to have friends who will pick you up when life kicks you down, you have to be able and willing to do the same for those people, and Chandler has demonstrated the opposite of a fully-developed empathy system. Bonding over shared racism and hate isn’t the same as developing a real friendship, but he doesn’t seem to have learned that yet. Sad.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Regford stopped being amusing after only 2 posts (sad really) and Chandler’s much less fun now that he’s fully broken down into his component parts (racism, frustration, and a desperate need for attention.) Good banning choices imho.

I also find it super suspicious that Chandler called us Manb00bz.

Nick Gotts
Nick Gotts
8 years ago

Yes, I live with my mother. I would be gainfully employed by now, but I literally lost a job that should have been mine because someone else with darker skin applied and got it. – Chandler

Are you really too stupid to see how revealing this is – that it makes it quite obvious your “ideas” stem from a (fully justified) sense of personal inadequacy. Maybe the potential employer realised you’re a bladderheaded Nazi bigot likely to insult any customer not of the approved Master Race (*chuckle*). Because it’s really not hard to spot.

I see that (if you are telling the truth about her) your mother is as much of a loathsome racist scumbag as you are. Well, that explains a lot.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
8 years ago

You do realize that you basically admitted SFHC drank your milkshake, right?

Troll milkshakes bring all the mockery to the yard.

I’ll keep an eye peeled for job listings that Chandler is qualified for. Keywords:

1. Must be white
2. Must have genitalia matching that of the subset of humans who Literally Invented Everything Ever
3. Must possess “skills”
4. Must own large collection of Great Bigots of Western Civilization
5. Must be willing to slay wildebeest with Yeats. Swatting flies with Ezra Pound also acceptable.

Mrs. B
Mrs. B
8 years ago

The Chandler from Friends had other writers pen his lines.

I cannot help but feel the same about this one.

Unoriginal in every way.

sunnysombrera
8 years ago

Wow, it really didn’t take long for Chandler to go from pretentious monologues to nonsensical sniping. I like to think that we got to him.

TheDreadVampy
TheDreadVampy
8 years ago

Is it bad that I’m most confused by the fact that he rhymed “harm” with “warm”?

katz
8 years ago

Place your bets on whether Chandler socks.