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Dudes! If you’re friends with a lady, “you’re a vagina,” explains Reddit lady expert

Dogzoned!
Dogzoned!

Fellas! Do you have any female friends? Do you hang out with them without having sex?

Well, apparently you’re doing it all wrong, at least according to the world-class relationship expert and Red Pill Redditor Throwaway244555. In a recent post on the Red Pill subreddit, he explained the fundamental rule of male-female friendships, which is that there should be no male-female friendships.

Woman are friends with woman, and they have sex with men. So if you’re her friend, you’re a vagina.

Remember, fellas, women are for sex, so if one of them wants to Netflix and chill without the chill part, tell her she’ll have to Netflix alone. By the way, “chill” in this context means sex. Like coffee, Netflix and chill means sex. And may not involve Netflix at all.

You ask this girl to be your gf, she rejects you but ask if we can still be friends. That’s a insult, she thinks less of you.

If a woman likes you, Mr. Throwaway244555 contends, she will let you put your penis in her. If she says she likes you yet is not interested in your penis she is insulting you to your very core. And if you actually do become friends with her, you are failing so utterly as a man that you might as well be a vagina.

A male and female aren’t suppose to be friends, they’re suppose to be love intrest. So basically you’re a vagina, because girls are suppose to be friends with girls, and fuck men. Also girls are horrible friends, all they do is leech off you, and cause drama.

So when a girl rejects you, and puts you in the friendzone, it’s a insult. Next time she says let’s just be friends, say no thank you.

DO NOT LET HER ROPE YOU IN WITH HER TALK OF “FRIENDSHIP.”

Or, I dunno, you could just go ahead and be friends with her, and look elsewhere for sex and/or romance?

I mean, sure, if you’re in love with a woman who isn’t in love with you, you’ll probably do the both of you a favor if you move on instead of taking her friendship as a “consolation prize,” which is really a shitty thing to consider a friendship to be.

Or if you decide to become “friends” with a woman because you hope to eventually manipulate her into having sex with you, well, that’s pretty shitty too. So stop it, and move on.

All this applies as well with the genders reversed, and in same-sex couples, and indeed in any gender variation possible.

But Jesus H. Christ, dudes, you can be friends with a woman if you want to. You can be friends with her if you don’t want to have sex with her. And you can be friends with her even if you sorta do.

I mean, seriously, dudes, you know that gay men are friends with other gay men that they never actually have sex with, right?

That said, if you’re a Red Pill dude, I would strongly suggest you not become friends with any women at all until you cease to be a Red Pill dude.

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Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@Chandler

I know which side of history I’m on, and it’s definitely not the losing one. Make the White Race great again!

You are indeed on the losing side of history. The Nazis and the Fascists lost World War II. It was an ignominious total defeat.

And all those books you own? You did not write them. At best, you read them.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@Chandler

Feminism is a cancer.

Oooh, we’ve never heard that one before!

Actually, many feminists say that feminism allowed them to live their lives much more fully.

But you keep shoveling that shit.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@Chandler

I hope that you all get beheaded by the refugees that you keep trying to cuckold the men of your own race with.

Does your mom know you write this kind of stuff?

Also, does she know you’re up past your bedtime?

Chandler
Chandler
8 years ago

@Kat

After Charlie Hebdo happened, my mother and I were talking about it and she said “Well, they didn’t want to help us when we were in Iraq; that’s what they get.” Hell, my mom used to talk about dropping nukes all over the middle east when I was a kid, and when that Dylan Roof kid shot up that church in Charleston (my family is from SC, by the way), my mom expressed the opinion that that’s what blacks deserve for all the trouble they’ve been causing recently with all that “Black Lives Matter” crap. She’s pretty pro-capital punishment herself, and always rambles on about bringing the firing squad back. I don’t think something like “I hope that you all get beheaded by the refugees…” would bother her.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
8 years ago

Heh. Trolls always go full nuclear meltdown the moment I out-Yeats/Chaucer/Shakespeare them. Such a random thing to be so common…

Sorry, kid, you’ll have to do better than that. Hell, I heard worse from my uncle over Easter lunch today.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 years ago

Oh look! He’s not trying so damn hard to convince us he wears a monacle anymore!

Yay!

What happened to your yuuuuuuuge volumes of Yeats?

Don’t you want to ask us what rough beast, it’s hour come round at last, slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Chandler
Chandler
8 years ago

@SFHC

What, did your unkey disregard posting protocols and call you a ‘nut’ or something? Did he refer to you as the sex you were designated as at birth instead of remembering the incredibly esoteric pronouns that you pull out your ass? Did he fail to give you a trigger warning 5 minutes in advance before letting out a fart? Just asking questions.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 years ago

Aww, does izzums have a sad because he got pwned by the big bad feminists?

Poor widdle izzums!

Chandler
Chandler
8 years ago

Yes, I live with my mother. I would be gainfully employed by now, but I literally lost a job that should have been mine because someone else with darker skin applied and got it. I went by the business later and noticed everyone talking about the ‘new guy’ and there he was. Fucking hell, he was such a buffoon; there was no way he could have actually got that job through merit alone – I am firmly convinced that there was some kind of quota that needed to be filled, he was like the only nonwhite there. Well, when some angry customer doesn’t get the quality of service that they deserve because people like you support policies which allow people who are plainly inferior to get things based solely on their identities, I guess that’ll be tough shit. This can’t go on forever, though; like I said, it’ll all come crashing down, and people who actually HAVE skills, like me, will be in high demand.

@Gaebolga

My volumes of Yeats are yuuuuge, and nothing so far has happened to them. I’d rather read to you, though, from one of my favorite poets of the 20th century, who, though he was known by many names, might now be referred to as Fernando Pessoa. It goes:

I go inside and shut the window.
The lamp is brought and I’m told good night.
And my voice contentedly says good night.
May this be my life, now and always:
The day bright with sunshine, or gentle with rain,
Or stormy as if the world were ending,
The evening gentle and my eyes attentive
To the people passing by my window,
With my last friendly gaze going to the peaceful trees,
And then, window shut and the lamp lit,
Without reading or sleeping and thinking of nothing,
To feel life flowing through me like a river between its banks,
And outside a great silence like a god who is sleeping.

(trans. by Richard Zenith). I’m afraid Pessoa didn’t really title the poem.

brooked
brooked
8 years ago

@dreadvampy

I would super recommend pretty much all of Nobrow’s output, honestly, the quality of work and production is consistently fantastic.

I second this, their eye-popping printing style and exquisite paper transforms their books into art objects.

@Chandler

What, did your unkey disregard posting protocols and call you a ‘nut’ or something? Did he refer to you as the sex you were designated as at birth instead of remembering the incredibly esoteric pronouns that you pull out your ass? Did he fail to give you a trigger warning 5 minutes in advance before letting out a fart? Just asking questions.

No, you’re arguing with phantoms in your head and randomly blathering on.

weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

I bet Chandler pronounces it like “Yeets” instead of like “Yates.”

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 years ago

Someone’s touchy about his living arrangements.

Funny how no one else brought it up.

You know, you really shouldn’t highlight the fault lines of your psyche; unscrupulous people will use that against you.

Kind of like you thought you were doing with Scented Fucking Hard Chairs. You do realize that you basically admitted SFHC drank your milkshake, right?

You’re kind of terrible at this, dude.

GenJones
GenJones
8 years ago

Well Chandler, our ancestors weren’t too worried about racial purity when they were getting it on with the Neanderthals. You are literally the result of interspecies breeding, so I highly doubt that society is so fragile that it will topple if mixed-race babies are born, which has been happening as long as groups have been migrating. The less genetic diversity you have, the weaker and more prone to harmful recessives your gene pool is. White Europeans have more genetic diseases for the same reason we have such a high population with blonde hair, blue eyes, straight hair and other recessive traits. So actually, if white separatists like you had their way and disallowed all infusions of genetic diversity it would only do damage to your gene pool and eventually dry it up into a puddle like those sickly purebred dogs. Fortunately, progress stands still for no one. And that is why love will always win.
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katz
8 years ago

And anyway I’m in the wrong forum; I’m actually in action to Troll the transgendered. You despise them too but won’t admit it; feel free to recommend a good url where I can go and wreak mayhem among the gender fraudsters.

Okay, sure.

Another good option.

Skiriki
Skiriki
8 years ago

Okay, this Chandler has to be some sort of offshoot of that Tay AI bot which had to be taken offline because Microsoft’s people who made it were so convinced that nothing bad would happen and then it went Hitler-loving racist in 24 hours after exposure to the internet.

Chandler
Chandler
8 years ago

The Scented Fucking Hard Chair
Does not in its inanimate gloom
Distill so rank a rotten stench
As Futrelle farting in the drawing room.

And even unwashed leftist scum
Vacate the building for fear of harm
But Futrelle keeps the windows closed
And lights a match to keep his apartment warm.

Mrs. B
Mrs. B
8 years ago

Is Chandler cutting and pasting posts from other websites and posting them here as his own?

His shit sounds strangely familiar…or is there some sort of manual all trolls use?

I’m getting such a strange sense of deja vu, here.

ETA: A fart based poetry slam? Eyeroll.

Grow the fuck up.

katz
8 years ago

Alas, we have to ban him because he made death threats. Too bad. This was the first troll we’ve had that makes up doggerel about the locals.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 years ago

And even your doggerel is pathetic.

Have you no sense of meter, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of meter?

Damn, SFHC, you really messed him up. I’m betting he’ll be fuming over this for at least a week.

Chandler
Chandler
8 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger

I’ll bet you say NAH-bo-kov instead of Nah-BO-koff.

Chandler
Chandler
8 years ago

That person with the lion avatar will know what my doggerel was about. They’ll catch the reference. I like him/her/them. They really get me, you know?

You’ve all convinced me; I’m joining your coalition. What’s the plan, my fellow radical leftist feminist cohorts? How shall we proceed in our plan to destroy capitalism and make the men wear aprons? Would you all like some vegan frozen-yogurt? It’s fetus-flavored, and the workers that produced were paid the full value of their product.

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
8 years ago

@calmdown

The great thing about Felicia Day is that she herself has social anxiety issues and a tendency to awkwardness, so, y’know, she understands our kind because she’s one of us. (When offered the opportunity to Skype with the person I fanblog about, I almost barfed. For real.)

@ everyone else

Did anyone else notice Chandler calling Judith Butler ‘be-titted’?

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Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 years ago

It’s always interesting when authoritarians try their hand at satire. They’re both comically inept at it and aggressively blind to that fact.

Chandler
Chandler
8 years ago

Manb00bz, I’ve given you all, and now I’m nothing…
Manb00bz, 2 dollars and 27 cents, March 25, 2016.
I can’t stand my own mind.
Manb00bz, when will people stop ninja’ing our posts?
Go fuck yourself in a scented hard chair.
I don’t feel good, don’t bother me.
I don’t have to be in my right mind to write my poems, what the fuck are you, ableist?

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
8 years ago

You do realize that you basically admitted SFHC drank your milkshake, right?

And lo, the troll sheds bitter tears,
Yet they doth sweeten in the glass
‘Pon which I etch misandr’ic jeers:
“Impotent rage of brain-dead ass.”