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Dudes! If you’re friends with a lady, “you’re a vagina,” explains Reddit lady expert

Dogzoned!
Dogzoned!

Fellas! Do you have any female friends? Do you hang out with them without having sex?

Well, apparently you’re doing it all wrong, at least according to the world-class relationship expert and Red Pill Redditor Throwaway244555. In a recent post on the Red Pill subreddit, he explained the fundamental rule of male-female friendships, which is that there should be no male-female friendships.

Woman are friends with woman, and they have sex with men. So if you’re her friend, you’re a vagina.

Remember, fellas, women are for sex, so if one of them wants to Netflix and chill without the chill part, tell her she’ll have to Netflix alone. By the way, “chill” in this context means sex. Like coffee, Netflix and chill means sex. And may not involve Netflix at all.

You ask this girl to be your gf, she rejects you but ask if we can still be friends. That’s a insult, she thinks less of you.

If a woman likes you, Mr. Throwaway244555 contends, she will let you put your penis in her. If she says she likes you yet is not interested in your penis she is insulting you to your very core. And if you actually do become friends with her, you are failing so utterly as a man that you might as well be a vagina.

A male and female aren’t suppose to be friends, they’re suppose to be love intrest. So basically you’re a vagina, because girls are suppose to be friends with girls, and fuck men. Also girls are horrible friends, all they do is leech off you, and cause drama.

So when a girl rejects you, and puts you in the friendzone, it’s a insult. Next time she says let’s just be friends, say no thank you.

DO NOT LET HER ROPE YOU IN WITH HER TALK OF “FRIENDSHIP.”

Or, I dunno, you could just go ahead and be friends with her, and look elsewhere for sex and/or romance?

I mean, sure, if you’re in love with a woman who isn’t in love with you, you’ll probably do the both of you a favor if you move on instead of taking her friendship as a “consolation prize,” which is really a shitty thing to consider a friendship to be.

Or if you decide to become “friends” with a woman because you hope to eventually manipulate her into having sex with you, well, that’s pretty shitty too. So stop it, and move on.

All this applies as well with the genders reversed, and in same-sex couples, and indeed in any gender variation possible.

But Jesus H. Christ, dudes, you can be friends with a woman if you want to. You can be friends with her if you don’t want to have sex with her. And you can be friends with her even if you sorta do.

I mean, seriously, dudes, you know that gay men are friends with other gay men that they never actually have sex with, right?

That said, if you’re a Red Pill dude, I would strongly suggest you not become friends with any women at all until you cease to be a Red Pill dude.

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RosaDeLava
RosaDeLava
8 years ago

If vagina is an insult, why does this dude wants to stick his dick in them?

Lea
Lea
8 years ago

No woman ever wanted him for a friend. He’s talking out his ass.

Charles Miller
8 years ago

I’m more concerned about what’s going on in that photo at the top.

Is it the dog is saying that to the woman about the guy? Is the woman saying it to the dog about the guy? Or is one of the humans saying it to the other human about the dog? Is the last one more likely because it’s the best explanation why the dog looks so desperate to get away from both of them?

I’m confused.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
8 years ago

This sort of “reasoning” was more entertaining when delivered by Billy Crystal during When Harry Met Sally.

mcbender
8 years ago

Here’s an excerpt from an actual conversation my partner and I had after reading this:

“You know, most people tend not to befriend their genitalia.”

“Well, it’s the only friend most MRAs have.”

“True. I’m sure they give them names and try to have conversations. If they want to use it as a ventriloquist dummy, do you think they have to stick an arm up their own ass?”

Tyra Lith
Tyra Lith
8 years ago

Okay okay, but now I really need to know whose vagina I have been hanging out with all this time.
Because I really think I should tell this person about it, they might miss their body part.

Dizzy
Dizzy
8 years ago

This sort of nonsense always confuses me because it’s so clear that no one bothered to ask actual women what they think, they just manufactured an idea of what women might or might not be like then ascribed a bunch of theories to them.

Like, if I turn a man down but don’t intend to insult him, is it still a grave insult? If I don’t actually think less of men when I turn them down, am I responsible for what that man decides to imagine I said? Do I need to inform all my male friends that they’ve changed gender by magic, or am I supposed to assume that they’re waiting until I have a fight with my boyfriend so they can capitalize on my moment of weakness (sexfully)?

I can’t even argue with it because there isn’t a whole lot to argue about. I can’t even say “So, datum point of one, I actually like my male friends” because of course I’m a lady, so anything that comes out of my mouth is automatically lies.

I will say that one thing I love about MRA nonsense is this idea that it’s super easy to change gender. I know my trans friends would love that. No need for expensive surgeries or hormones, all ya need is to be rejected by a lady! Don’t worry, your vagina starter kit will be mailed to you in 7-10 business days.

brian
8 years ago

“she will let you put her penis in her.”
This sounds . . . difficult.

lkeke35
lkeke35
8 years ago

Silly David! Of course gay men can’t be friends with other gay men without sex! What a silly doodle you are to ask such a question.

If women can only be friends with women, and straight men can only be friends with straight men, then it stands to reason, that gay people don’t actually exist.

You see: the Hypotenuse of A + 12 = cookie.
Am I making sense now? (Certainly about as much sense as the above statements by Mr. Redpiller.)

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

A male and female aren’t suppose to be friends, they’re suppose to be love intrest.

This guy sounds like he’d be a real fun boyfriend. I love dating people who can’t imagine spending time with me unless I get naked on a regular basis.

Tessa
Tessa
8 years ago

So basically you’re a vagina, because girls are suppose to be friends with girls, and fuck men.

Why does he have to say girls instead of women, when he already says men? They either have to dehumanize women with “feeeemales” or infantilize with “girls.” Would it kill them to use words that put them on the same level? Hahaha I’m kidding. Of course it would.

Also, this is rather telling. I’m sure if you think of women… I’m sorry girls as only having one use and have no respect for them as people, of course they’re not going to want to be their friend.

But anyway, I have to agree with David. Guys! By all means, say “no thank you” and bail out right away! That’d be awesome! Save her the trouble of your creepy, disingenuous, seething, faux friendship! Win win!

lkeke35:

If women can only be friends with women, and straight men can only be friends with straight men, then it stands to reason, that gay people don’t actually exist.

He also said that women… Dangit girls are supposed to fuck men… So obviously lesbians don’t exist. Stands to reason men are supposed to fuck women… Dangit girls. (Of course, these guys often have different standards for men than women, so who knows?). I feel myself phasing out of existence as I type this.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

comment image

This is always relevant to “friendzone” conversations. Always.

But I’m seconding Tessa here: If y’all think my friendship is an “insult” then by all means do fuck off, because I wouldn’t fuck a RedPiller (or any one for that matter) who only sees me as a Penis Socket and nothing more.

Not every person with a vagina is going to swoon over your particular brand of “Alpha Male” and beg you to fuck them, doodz.

zesty
zesty
8 years ago

I’m surprised that he just accidentally acknowledged that women have friends at all. Don’t they usually think that most women hate other women and see them as rivals?

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
8 years ago

I love how he just so casually reduces both men and women to their genitalia.

I’m seconding the opinion that no woman
actually wants to be his friend.

lacerta viridis
lacerta viridis
8 years ago

What if I’m friends with a gay man, though? Is he a penis? Am I a penis? I’m so confused.

Number Sequence
Number Sequence
8 years ago

Well, Mr. Throwaway picked an appropriate name since his opinion clearly belongs in the trash.

Easy jokes aside, it must be hard having all your personality be between your legs because if you consider, “I don’t want to sleep with you,” is an insult, you clearly consider your dick to be all your worth.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
8 years ago

WWTH: I’m not certain that any man would want to be his friend either.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Seriously though, someone not wanting to date you is absolutely not insulting. It can be disappointing, it can make you sad, but it’s not an insult. Most of the people we meet in our lives are people we don’t date.

maghavan
maghavan
8 years ago

If she says she likes you yet is not interested in your penis she is insulting you to your very core.

Well, obviously.

Penises are like Icebergs. That part you see outside is actually only the tiny external part of the much larger Penis that lies below the surface and literally forms the core of men (and like 50% of their body mass).

Therefore, when you reject a man’s penis you are insulting his very core.

Bina
Bina
8 years ago

Also girls are horrible friends, all they do is leech off you, and cause drama.

Translation: Throwaway Boy here is a horrible friend; all he does is leech off women and cause drama with his poor sad widdle boner.

Bina
Bina
8 years ago

Okay okay, but now I really need to know whose vagina I have been hanging out with all this time.
Because I really think I should tell this person about it, they might miss their body part.

I think it might belong to Wanda Sykes:

Regford
Regford
8 years ago

I’m too old to perform and I always was a lousy lay, also massively unsuccessful with the ladies. Although, now, my “Lion in Winter” act does get modest attention.
My friend Brian has been very successful over the decades. He shared this wisdom with me: “Reg, it’s terrible out there, they all do; they all do. And if they’re not doing it with you then they’re probably doing it with me.” He also said that is astounding what women will do, but I proffer no specifics.
If she identifies as a feminist, that translates to ‘single’, welcome to modern times jargon.
Straight guys gotta do it like the gays do, suggest sex with almost anything that moves. Some want to, most don’t. Meet for a couple of coffee dates and make clear what you have in mind. It’s either yes, no, or you have someone new you can discuss the latest smartphone app with. Just remember that if you were aware in detail about the young lovely’s sexual history, you would not be so nervous in your approach.
I hope I haven’t violated too many community guidelines.

Bina
Bina
8 years ago

I always was a lousy lay, also massively unsuccessful with the ladies.

After hearing the rest of that, I’m not surprised.

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
8 years ago

Because all “the gays” are promiscuous. That’s exactly how life works. So many gay men were only thrilled to marry their partners when it became legal because um…uh… they wanted to destroy the sanctity of marriage? They live to force fundamentalists to bake cakes for gay weddings?

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Reg, it’s terrible out there, they all do; they all do.

That really does sound terrible, Reg. I had no idea. 2 quick questions though: 1) who are they 2) what do they do.

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