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Dudes! If you’re friends with a lady, “you’re a vagina,” explains Reddit lady expert

Dogzoned!
Dogzoned!

Fellas! Do you have any female friends? Do you hang out with them without having sex?

Well, apparently you’re doing it all wrong, at least according to the world-class relationship expert and Red Pill Redditor Throwaway244555. In a recent post on the Red Pill subreddit, he explained the fundamental rule of male-female friendships, which is that there should be no male-female friendships.

Woman are friends with woman, and they have sex with men. So if you’re her friend, you’re a vagina.

Remember, fellas, women are for sex, so if one of them wants to Netflix and chill without the chill part, tell her she’ll have to Netflix alone. By the way, “chill” in this context means sex. Like coffee, Netflix and chill means sex. And may not involve Netflix at all.

You ask this girl to be your gf, she rejects you but ask if we can still be friends. That’s a insult, she thinks less of you.

If a woman likes you, Mr. Throwaway244555 contends, she will let you put your penis in her. If she says she likes you yet is not interested in your penis she is insulting you to your very core. And if you actually do become friends with her, you are failing so utterly as a man that you might as well be a vagina.

A male and female aren’t suppose to be friends, they’re suppose to be love intrest. So basically you’re a vagina, because girls are suppose to be friends with girls, and fuck men. Also girls are horrible friends, all they do is leech off you, and cause drama.

So when a girl rejects you, and puts you in the friendzone, it’s a insult. Next time she says let’s just be friends, say no thank you.

DO NOT LET HER ROPE YOU IN WITH HER TALK OF “FRIENDSHIP.”

Or, I dunno, you could just go ahead and be friends with her, and look elsewhere for sex and/or romance?

I mean, sure, if you’re in love with a woman who isn’t in love with you, you’ll probably do the both of you a favor if you move on instead of taking her friendship as a “consolation prize,” which is really a shitty thing to consider a friendship to be.

Or if you decide to become “friends” with a woman because you hope to eventually manipulate her into having sex with you, well, that’s pretty shitty too. So stop it, and move on.

All this applies as well with the genders reversed, and in same-sex couples, and indeed in any gender variation possible.

But Jesus H. Christ, dudes, you can be friends with a woman if you want to. You can be friends with her if you don’t want to have sex with her. And you can be friends with her even if you sorta do.

I mean, seriously, dudes, you know that gay men are friends with other gay men that they never actually have sex with, right?

That said, if you’re a Red Pill dude, I would strongly suggest you not become friends with any women at all until you cease to be a Red Pill dude.

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weirwoodtreehugger
4 years ago

We don’t even have to feed this troll anymore. He’s bursting all on his own!

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
4 years ago

His sense of meter just got actively painful.

I hope to hell he’s doing that intentionally.

Chandler
Chandler
4 years ago

@Gaebolga

FUCK YOU I WILL BE A POET AND YOU WILL DEAL WITH IT. POETRY ISN’T FOR GIRLS, MOM. I WILL RUN AWAY WITH AN OLDER MAN LIKE RIMBAUD IF YOU DONT…

Sorry, force of habit.

calmdown
calmdown
4 years ago

Ok. I…have no idea what he’s going on about now. Not that I ever really did.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
4 years ago

What, failed attempts at wit?

That’s not a habit, dude, that’s just incompetence.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
4 years ago

Strum und drang herald
the sorrows of young Chandler
and Von Mises weeps

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
4 years ago

Okay, I’m bored now. See y’all in the morning.

Chandler
Chandler
4 years ago

@Gaebolga

Obviously, my attempt at wit was more successful than your mom’s abortion (how many holes do you have in your face from the coat-hanger?).

Starfury
Starfury
4 years ago

I usually operate a ‘never read the comments’ policy so I’m rarely exposed to the inanities of trolls.. but I don’t really understand Chandler’s motivation. I wonder if he thinks all this really daft bile is actually offensive or if he is just venting due to frustration in his real life.

Mr Chandler, life can be very unfair to everyone sometimes and I’m sure whatever you are going through hurts but raging here seems futile; your time would be better spent finding ways to improve your prospects instead of mindlessly trolling (which purely entertains those you profess to despise)

You won’t halt progress and it seems to upset you greatly, try to take a break from resenting it even if you can’t accept it. Try reading something that doesn’t contribute to your anger or dedicate your time to learning a new skill. Things can be better for you.

Starfury
Starfury
4 years ago

@kupo

Thank you for the word of welcome earlier in the thread =)

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Starfury
Welcome! I hope you return–but only if you want to.

And thanks for those kind words to the troll. Although they weren’t addressed to me, I found them helpful.

Carr
Carr
4 years ago

Yes, I live with my mother. I would be gainfully employed by now, but I literally lost a job that should have been mine because someone else with darker skin applied and got it.

No, I’m sure every white person who was never hired for a certain job wasn’t hired because of people with a different skin colorapplied/a woman applied/a transperson applied/the boss was mean. It’s not because maybe you weren’t as good as the person who got the job. I mean, you MRA,PUA,etc. types always do think nothing is because of you, the fault is always with someone else.

And seriously ”I didn’t get the job because other people applied” is a teeeeerrible excuse.

mockingbird
mockingbird
4 years ago

Anyhoo, I really said it wrong when I said “Feminist just means single”, it was pointed out to me that this wit is from the 70s; hey, that’s when I invented the phrase, he he.

This is way late and he’s probably not even reading anymore, but, dude…Regford…if you’re old enough for this to be true and you’re still trolling in your free time, get a fucking a hobby.

Like, a productive one.

Gardening can be lovely – calming.
Maybe make some models.

If those aren’t your speed, Arduino, maybe?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
4 years ago

I don’t really understand Chandler’s motivation.

He tried to troll us with pseudo-intellectual bullshit, realized a page ago that it wasn’t going to work, and just started spouting whatever he thinks will get our attention. In my experience, people like this desperately need attention but aren’t willing to ask for it, so they act out to get it.

In the end, though, it doesn’t matter why he’s doing it. What matters is that he’s here dancing like a sad clown for our entertainment.

Welcome!

mockingbird
mockingbird
4 years ago

*reads Chandler’s vomit*

I almost feel bad for the guy.

I mean…he’s either the most deluded person on the planet or is desperately, agonizingly aching for absolutely any attention.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
4 years ago

@mockingbird

I know, right? It’s sad that he doesn’t think he can approach his friends and say, straightforwardly, “Guys, I didn’t get that job I really needed, and I’m really down right now. Can we hang for a while so I don’t feel so alone in the world?”

Of course, to have friends who will pick you up when life kicks you down, you have to be able and willing to do the same for those people, and Chandler has demonstrated the opposite of a fully-developed empathy system. Bonding over shared racism and hate isn’t the same as developing a real friendship, but he doesn’t seem to have learned that yet. Sad.

Viscaria
Viscaria
4 years ago

Regford stopped being amusing after only 2 posts (sad really) and Chandler’s much less fun now that he’s fully broken down into his component parts (racism, frustration, and a desperate need for attention.) Good banning choices imho.

I also find it super suspicious that Chandler called us Manb00bz.

Nick Gotts
Nick Gotts
4 years ago

Yes, I live with my mother. I would be gainfully employed by now, but I literally lost a job that should have been mine because someone else with darker skin applied and got it. – Chandler

Are you really too stupid to see how revealing this is – that it makes it quite obvious your “ideas” stem from a (fully justified) sense of personal inadequacy. Maybe the potential employer realised you’re a bladderheaded Nazi bigot likely to insult any customer not of the approved Master Race (*chuckle*). Because it’s really not hard to spot.

I see that (if you are telling the truth about her) your mother is as much of a loathsome racist scumbag as you are. Well, that explains a lot.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

You do realize that you basically admitted SFHC drank your milkshake, right?

Troll milkshakes bring all the mockery to the yard.

I’ll keep an eye peeled for job listings that Chandler is qualified for. Keywords:

1. Must be white
2. Must have genitalia matching that of the subset of humans who Literally Invented Everything Ever
3. Must possess “skills”
4. Must own large collection of Great Bigots of Western Civilization
5. Must be willing to slay wildebeest with Yeats. Swatting flies with Ezra Pound also acceptable.

Mrs. B
Mrs. B
4 years ago

The Chandler from Friends had other writers pen his lines.

I cannot help but feel the same about this one.

Unoriginal in every way.

sunnysombrera
sunnysombrera
4 years ago

Wow, it really didn’t take long for Chandler to go from pretentious monologues to nonsensical sniping. I like to think that we got to him.

TheDreadVampy
TheDreadVampy
4 years ago

Is it bad that I’m most confused by the fact that he rhymed “harm” with “warm”?

katz
4 years ago

Place your bets on whether Chandler socks.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
4 years ago

katz wrote:

Place your bets on whether Chandler socks.

I’ll put 50 on “no.”

Deep down, he knows he got utterly demolished, and he knows it would happen again.

I don’t think an ego as fragile as his is capable of doing anything more than claiming an ash-flavored victory because he got banned.

…and I would just like to congratulate Scented Fucking Hard Chairs one more time for a truly awe-inspiring smackdown. I don’t have a slow clap gif handy, but if I did, you’d have earned it in spades.

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
4 years ago

I think he already is a sock. He called us manboobz. I doubt someone who’s been aware of the site for a couple of years would just finally get around to trolling now.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

The troll was showing off his knowledge when he referred to this website by its previous name, Manboobz.

Just like he was showing off his knowledge of Nietzsche, the Stoics, and so on. Of course, as I pointed out to him, he didn’t write those books. At best, he read them.

I have an intuitive sense that he was kidding us. He said that all we Mammotheers would have left after the patriarchs’ (much vaunted, oft touted, devoutly hoped for) Apocalypse was our sense of humor. The fact that he even mentioned our sense of humor was a misstep. I think that anyone as deeply embittered as this troll seemed to be would interpret it more as mockery by silly, deluded women.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
4 years ago

I think he was Pell. The pattern fits.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
4 years ago

Kat wrote:

Of course, as I pointed out to him, he didn’t write those books. At best, he read them.

Or googled them. Kind of like he was doing with Yeats.

When the only poem you can quote is one of his most famous, you’ve probably never read his work.

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
4 years ago

@Chandler, I have one question: why Caligula? Why not Marcus Aurelius?

Jaygee
Jaygee
4 years ago

As for fun reads, I just got Shepherd’s Crown from the library all ready to read over Spring Break. It’s slimmer than I expected.

Jaygee
Jaygee
4 years ago

Man, Chandler turned out to be way more pathetic than expected. He just went on exposing his own insecurities unprompted. No one ragged on him for living with his mom. (Most of the people of this community don’t see that as a personal fault, especially in the current economy.) No one even made reference to it. And then to have to claim the achievements of men collectively implies he has none of his own to boast about. I’m certain he did not build any civilization. There’s just so much bitterness, especially over that job he didn’t get. Is complaining about POC going to get him a job? No, do something productive. Perhaps by talking it over with a mixed group of friends.

NickNameNick
NickNameNick
4 years ago

@Carr

No, I’m sure every white person who was never hired for a certain job wasn’t hired because of people with a different skin colorapplied/a woman applied/a transperson applied/the boss was mean. It’s not because maybe you weren’t as good as the person who got the job. I mean, you MRA,PUA,etc. types always do think nothing is because of you, the fault is always with someone else.

And seriously ”I didn’t get the job because other people applied” is a teeeeerrible excuse.

The whole “they stole my job” mentality is always hilarious, especially when it comes from supposed free market absolutists who love the concept of competition to an almost religious degree.

Like, you do know that – with the hiring process – management is going to choose who they believe is most fitting for the work, right? Apparently these dumbasses don’t. They act as if they should be guaranteed the job and everyone else who applied is unworthy.

It also seems Chandler/Pell/whoever they are doesn’t seem to realize that someone new to the job is going to seem incompetent to anyone who, y’know, doesn’t realize they’re learning at the time.

Speaking as someone who spent years trying to find employment and felt rather hopeless about it at times – I never blamed anyone else for not getting hired. If anything, I was simply curious as to why I was not hired or just assumed it may’ve been my own fault.

WitchBitch
WitchBitch
4 years ago

Dear SFHC.

That bit of prose was beautiful. Enough so I had to delurk. Much thank. Brava.

Stories
Stories
4 years ago

I must also add praise for SFHC. I smiled soooo big.

Also I showed Chandler’s initial missives to my son, who is a grad student in philosophy and teaches it to undergrads. He said it didn’t even rise to sophistry. Hee!

If I'm Green, I Will Die
If I'm Green, I Will Die
4 years ago

@Stories

Personally, I wouldn’t put too much stock into your son’s being a grad student in philosophy and everything; you don’t really need to go to college to study philosophy, and universities are pretty much PC leftist recruiting grounds. It’s very likely that his ability to process and understand philosophy has been stunted by the kind of leftist ‘sophistry’ that passes for thought in these kinds of places.

Plaatsvervangende Schaamte

@SFHC

Belatedly seeing this thread, but absolutely marvelous ditty, and with throwback linguistics to boot.
– Lit grad

@If I’m Green

Belatedly seeing this thread, but sorry to hear your rage at leftists is so impotent. I hear they have a pill for that.
– A human being

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
4 years ago

PC Leftist Recruiting Ground?

Okay, if I start a new college a cappella group when I move back to conservativeville in conservativestate, that’s going to be our stage name.

SFHC, might I steal you as a lyricist? Because that was a wicked sweet chorus in addition to being a strong burn.

That I could work with.

Chandler’s? No rhyme, no rhythm: making something of it’d be like trying to dance to alternating measures of 5/4 and 3/8.

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
4 years ago

I grew up as a lefty and had Republican friends for the first time when I was in college.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

“PC Leftist Recruiting Grounds” = “Colleges are letting in people who aren’t cishet white dudes and that’s not faaaaiiiiirrrrrr because then kids will have to learn about other people’s world views and experiences instead of just mine!”

Seriously, I don’t see why people whine about “political correctness” when all their whinging translates to is “I want to be a bigot without consequences and no one is letting me!” It’s as transparent as a window without a pane.

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