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How to Get Upvoted on Kotaku in Action: A Simple Guide

giphy (8)
The nose boop of doom

So the lovely people on Kotaku in Action on Reddit have discovered my post yesterday about the reactions of various Gamergaters on Twitter to Hulk Hogan’s recent legal win over Gawker.

Naturally, gators being gators, they manage to get themselves pretty worked up over a number of points I didn’t actually make. Gators remaining gators, there’s really no point in trying to correct them, as this will only give them more opportunities to misrepresent me.

Instead, let’s take a moment to look at some of the most highly upvoted comments in this edifying discussion that are, well, a bit more personal.

Here, with 98 net upvotes, is the most-upvoted comment in the thread, the comment that KiA collectively feels is the most valuable of them all:

shillingintensify 98 points 17 hours ago  david futrelle is asshurt that his cry tabloid will be at the bottom without gawker around.

This next comment, which garnered dozens of net upvotes, spurred a somewhat surreal discussion:

[–]PR_WEL 56 points 16 hours ago  and to no one's surprise is a fat neckbeard. lol permalinkembedsavereportreply [–]BaconCatBug 25 points 13 hours ago  I am a fat neckbeard too but I am self aware enough to not try and pretend otherwise. :P permalinkembedsaveparentreportreply [–]Pakars[🍰] 3 points 11 hours ago  I'm not fat, but I'm lazy and sometimes have a neckbeard. Do I count? permalinkembedsaveparentreportreply [–]BaconCatBug 9 points 11 hours ago  It's not the fatness in your heart that counts, it's the fatness in your heart that counts!

I may have to put this one in the We Hunted the Mammoth press kit:

x_003 24 points 14 hours ago  David Futrelle, crying at his powerlessness as the real world repudiates everything he stands for? This is a rare occurrence, like a day that ends in 'y.'

This one only got a couple of upvotes, but it’s defintely going in the press kit. Hell, I’m tempted to make it the official WHTM slogan:

TriangleDimes 2 points 5 hours ago  The site is hilarious. It's just one sad fat dude with a couple of cats.

This one is a bit puzzling, but I do like the suggestion that telling someone to drink bleach is basically the same as saying they need to have their mouth washed out with soap. (Note: while neither of these procedures is recommended, only one will result in painful death.)

4theNords 15 points 14 hours ago*  Thank god that white male is there to tell that silly woman she doesn't know what she's on about. (though someone of the comments are maybe taking a little to much credit, but the vast majority of what is there isn't actually taking credit at all, it's just sharing the news through a hashtag, it's how they work). Maybe the bleach recommendation is just to clean thier mouths out after spouting so much shit? And it is laughable if this privileged fucks are "depressed" because they are losing their jobs after behaving in such a disgusting way (or at least abetting by silence), you don't pity the criminal feeling bad because they got caught, maybe the one with actual remorse and not just self interest like Gawker. And laughing at the kid who got caught his hand stuck in the cookie jar, is not the same as wishing death on them. Also Ghazi are super salty over this do, apparently this is evidence we don't understand causation...this massively illogical article that makes huge un intellectual leaps to reach conclusions that make no sense, to attack people not even mentioned in the article.

Given that to Gators will happily upvote insults and nonsense, you may wonder how exactly one might go about getting downvoted.

Here’s how:

rotterm -26 points 13 hours ago  This is why we shouldn't have been cheering over Gawker's financial troubles. Cheering at people losing their jobs only makes us look just as bad as the SJWs. It only tarnishes our own image.

It may be a little hard to see, because the text is small and light grey, but this comment has negative 26 points.

Gators will forever be gators, I guess.

 

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Ledasmom
Ledasmom
4 years ago

Never had very prominent leg hair. Now I have leg-pattern baldness. At most, I am a leg-chinstrap. Or calfstrap. Toes are still hairy. Don’t know why.

Viscaria
Viscaria
4 years ago

@Kupo, I find your link about terminal hair length really interesting! You know what I don’t get, though, is how hair that’s been cut in the past but is growing out can (as far as I’m aware) reach terminal length. Shouldn’t it stop growing much earlier, as it was still in growth phase when some of the length was removed? Bodies, peeps. Fascinating.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ ledasmom

Toes are still hairy. Don’t know why.

Do any of your relatives reminisce about the time they fought a dragon and got loads of gold?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ viscaria and kupo

In the interests of science I have now got some sticky tape and a pair of nail scissors. I’ll let you know the results.

ETA: Owww! How do you ladies wax!??? It’s bad enough on your arms!

Viscaria
Viscaria
4 years ago

Wax adheres much better than sticky tape does, so it would probably be more effective (and thus much less painful). The idea of waxing with tape makes me want to hurl. Your poor arms!

I applaud the lengths you will go to for science. Pun intended.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ viscaria

I actually used gaffa tape, so I’m lucky I still have skin left.

GardenGallivant
GardenGallivant
4 years ago

I belong to a cycling club where it has been noted that the men shave but the women to not. It is a matter of preference in riding timed events since the shaving is not for speed but for making it easier to clean up road rash following accidents. I do not shave but my husband does, he has ever since he had it done during a booth promo while working Interbike trade show about a decade back.

RCC is known for putting on ultramarathons so the club motto is “Hill is not a four letter word”. We get upvoted by providing rides with more climbing and greater distances, but lots of fun.
http://www.redmondcyclingclub.org/

NiOg
NiOg
4 years ago

I learned in grade school that the hair on your knuckles (both fingers AND toes!) is controlled by one gene, so either you have hairy knuckles or you don’t. The shape of your earlobes is another single-gene switch: if they’re attached at the root or free-swinging.

Almost all my body hair is colorless, so I don’t bother shaving my legs even though I’m frightfully fuzzy. No one can see it anyway! My dad wasn’t so fortunate: He had a pelt like a reddish bearskin rug, right up to eyebrow level, then bald on top.

I do shave my pits, but just for reasons of hygiene. Chin, too; I’ve gotten to Wizard Puberty, that age where strange bristly hairs sprout where none were before. I’d happily cultivate a majestic beard if I could just get it to come in evenly, though.

Most people’s head hair gets to a certain length and frays, which is why you can extend the length if you use oils and conditioners. It’s not timed shedding so much as the ends decay. The timed-shedding does make sense for body hair, though, and it’s probably true that some folks tend towards shorter head hair.

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
4 years ago

Okay, so it’s both that there is an amount of time a single follicle will grow before it sheds the shaft (the “timed shedding”) AND a maximum length of the actual hair based on how much strength it has and how well the ends are handled. Hair that gets mistreated starts to fray like a rope that gets cut but not re-sealed- however only hair on your head grows fast enough to ever reach that point before the follicle sheds and starts over. Cause like almost all cells in the body, you’ll actually outlive them by a wide margin.

So we’re actually all constantly losing hair, you only go bald when the rate at which it sheds starts to outstrip the rate at which it grows. Interestingly, something about the hormonal cycle in pregnancy stops the cellular shed. Which is why women in late-term pregnancy tend to have spectacular, thick hair. And why they tend to have a “oh my god I’m going bald” panic after they give birth, cause the cycle suddenly catches up all at once and you dump all the extra hair.

The only difference cutting it makes is that the tip of the hair shaft is now really blunt, so it feels rougher (like stubble) and tends to fray faster (like the aforementioned rope).

Why no, I didn’t study biology and marry a cosmetologist, why do you ask? 😀

GardenGallivant
GardenGallivant
4 years ago

Remember when you where told drinking strong coffee would put hair on your chest? Well they where right, caffeine has been shown to both increase growth and lengthen the growth phase.

What will get the MRAs goats is that female follicles are more sensitive to caffeine stimulation.

http://www.alpecin.de/en/research/studies/differential-effects-of-caffeine.html

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
4 years ago

Fred the Dog,

I was a diver. You’d think we shave our legs too, but nope! Before meets we always let stubble grow because if you try and hold a tuck with wet freshly shaved legs, you’ll slip out. Divers little secret.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
4 years ago

@Zatar

Why the animosity toward roller derby? Well, I think it’s pretty obvious:

1. There’s a lot of hate and animosity toward all female athletes – to wit recent comments from Raymond Moore -that female tennis players should be ‘on their knees’ thanking male tennis players for subbing them.
2.Roller derby is a violent sport and there seems to be even more animosity toward women in violent sports. Maybe because it’s seen as a ‘male’ thing. Don’t go and look at the YouTube comments for elite women’s rugby and soccer. It’s vile. “Gash rugby” for example. Although I kind of liked that one in a perverse sort of way.
3. Roller derby is also about image and spectacle and a lot of women who play seem to take the piss out of traditional notions of feminine behaviour and appearance. Others seem to not give a fuck. It’s part of the joy of the sport. That’s gotta be offensive to the type of people who think ‘women should be like X and look like Y”
4. Roller derby seems to me – from the outside – to be a very accepting community – as long as you can skate and elbow, etc. and are willing to play hard, then you’ll be accepted by the RD community for whoever you are, for your imperfect, but wonderful self. That’s also offensive to people who want to confine women to narrowly defined roles.

TheDreadVampy
TheDreadVampy
4 years ago

Re: legbeards: Is the misogynist definition of “lazy” /really/ “doesn’t shave”? Because I’d love to keep my legs shaved but razors are expensive and I prefer eating occasionally to being smooth (plus the one time I tried getting them waxed, it turned out my skin is so delicate because of my EDS that I had goosebumps for longer than it took for the hair to grow back. Not a great look.)

Pffffft. I’m just kidding. I know it’s a woman’s job to be constantly perfectly groomed to the tastes of random men. Not being conventionally attractive, like being poor or disabled, is sheer laziness. Disgraceful! It can’t be a choice, either. Why would people CHOOSE not to look exactly like random men on the internet want them to?

(In fairness, I’m also unsure about the use of the word neckbeard as a general rule – many lovely men I know are sadly incapable of growing hair on the front of their chins and are thus sentenced to neckbeardery whenever depression or business prevents shaving – but it’s not like men’s beards are policed like women’s body hair)

(Also hi. I’ve been reading WHTM for years and it kind of feels weird that my first post isn’t…really about MRA-type thought. But. Hi.)

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
4 years ago

Alan

I actually used gaffa tape

::winces::

Moocow
4 years ago

Classic gamergate, only able to respond with pathetical excuses after they realize that they made themselves look bad along with some childish insults and bizarre claims that you’re somehow ‘illogical’ without any explanation of what’s so ‘illogical’.

Although there seems to be a strange lack of sexualized insults and accusations that David isn’t a ‘real’ gamer, I wonder why that is.

bluecat
bluecat
4 years ago

When I was richer I and lived in hotter climes I used to get professionally waxed. It is surprising how much the pain varies in different spots – and not in the places one might have expected. Armpit hair was much worse than anything sub-navel. I’ve never tried it on my arms but… ouchie!

Since I finished chemotherapy 18 months ago it’s all been regrowing: leg hair appeared first but nothing like what it used to be; head hair is entirely back and the same colour as before, though a bit thinner than it was – but curly!

Eyelashes are up to strength, which is good as my eyes look like those in potatoes without them. Armpit hair seems to have given up for good (yay!) and my eyebrows are feeble ghosts of themselves.

The single wire-hard whisker which popped up on my chin every few months since I turned 40 and used to irritate me until I got annoyed enough to pluck it has not returned. I hope it’s gone for good.

ETA: Hallo DreadVampy!

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
4 years ago

I think they hate roller derby because you have to be aggressive, tough, and confident. It scares the crap out of them when women have those qualities.

Alpine, RN
Alpine, RN
4 years ago

Great. Now I have this earworm: “and the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate and the ‘Gaters gonna gate gate gate gate gate”!

Dalillama
Dalillama
4 years ago

@Zatar

I….Don’t get what there grudge against Roller Derby is?

They hate women’s sports and athletic women generally, and roller derby is stereotypically associated with lesbians. Also what rugbyyogi said.

@Alan

But only head hair keeps on growing for ever. As far as I’m aware, all the rest reaches a certain length, then stops.

Ninja’d a bit, but since I typed all this out, I’m posting it anyway.
Head hair does too, it’s just that the length in question is considerably longer (how much varies by individual). The reason is pretty straightforward: each hair has a growth (anagen) phase, a pause (catagen phase) and a dead phase (telogen phase), after which it falls out an a new one (usually) grows in its place. How long the anagen phase lasts determines how long the hair in question will get. The length of the anagen phase varies with individual body parts, usually being longest on the head (although not always; some people never grow more than a couple inches on their heads), and is genetically determined in each individual. As to why the anagen phase is so much longer for hair on the head, the answer appears to be basically ‘because it is’. (People often forget that genetic drift is a thing that affects evolution too. A trait doesn’t have to be adaptive to spread, it just has to not be maladaptive; a classic example being why pandas are that colour: because they don’t need to hide from anything or sneak up on anything, so natural selection doesn’t care what colour they are. The ancestral population were black bears with white markings, and eventually genetic drift gave us giant pandas.

Well, there’s that old myth that it keeps on growing after you’re dead

As with the similar myth re: fingernails, this has to do with the flesh receding rather than anything growing.

On their explanation your body hair should grow for a bit, fall out, then start growing again.

It does. It’s just that at any given time, only a small percentage of the hairs on your body are at the ‘falling out’ stage, so you don’t notice them go missing amidst all the other hairs.

@Viscaria

Shouldn’t it stop growing much earlier, as it was still in growth phase when some of the length was removed?

No, because there are new hairs coming out all the time, some of which weren’t long enough to be cut off during the haircut. So, the actual follicles that are cut off don’t reach full length, but the ones that were a centimeter too short to be cut do, and as with the body hair, it’s hard to distinguish which are which.

@DreadVampy
I’ve been having good luck with chemical depilatories (nair specifically, veet smells godawful); I sometimes get a minor itching/reddening but it fades in a few hours. (While I do not at this time have a formal diagnosis, I am 99% certain that I also have EDS, FWIW). It winds up cheaper than razors too.

Hambeast, Social Justice Legbeard
Hambeast, Social Justice Legbeard
4 years ago

wwth

Urban dictionary says that a legbeard is in fact the female equivalent of a neckbeard. A lazy and/or fat woman with hairy legs.

I only shave my legs every few weeks. But I only get stubble on the fronts of my ankles and lower shins. I’m not a very hairy person. So, am I legbeard, or not?

I think this is awesome! A new nitpick to annoy the goobers? Yes!

Also, I hereby grant that all who want to be legbeards can be such, regardless of their actual hair situation. Katie has granted me this power, so long as I change my handle.

And so it is done.

LindsayIrene
4 years ago

I have toe hair and one pointy ear. Vistigial hobbit traits.

Dr. NicolaLuna
Dr. NicolaLuna
4 years ago

Great. Now I have this earworm: “and the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate and the ‘Gaters gonna gate gate gate gate gate”!

Totally stuck in my head now, too. I quite like it at the moment but it may get old.

Tragedy of the Commas
Tragedy of the Commas
4 years ago

Why do these guys believe that Gawker is the SJW HQ? Or that they own this site? It’s a strange conspiracy.

So, about the frequent use of “these people are so childish”, seen here and in other blog entries by Futrelle. It reminds me of how they use “you’re the real racist” style arguments against critics. This kind of counter argument to being called entitled and immature can be stripped down to: nyeh, nyeh, I know you are, but what am I!? Which doesn’t actually deny the original claims. And while there are immature people who self-label as feminists, no one is as consistently, unambiguously immature as the misogynists covered on this site. Yet, in their minds, they’re the “real” adults and so everything they do is an example of being a “real” adult. If these men are what “real” adulthood looks like, I’d rather be fake.

@ WWTH and LindsayIrene

So, clearly, if a woman has no piercings, no tattoos, no dyed hair, no body hair (except for head hair), and were slender, they’d have zero problems with them, right? That’s exactly what Futrelle’s research proves, right? …Right?

And, again, it doesn’t refute any feminist arguments. It just says, sure, you could listen, but they’re so ugly, bro! Which, ironically, proves the existence of the double-standard of a woman’s worth being entirely appearance based.

Besides, feminists are all about grillaxin’ and then feeling sorry about grillaxin’. That’s what fighting toxic masculinity means, right? Feeling emasculated for liking cars, sports, and BBQ?

@ SFHC

Who wants to bet that this guy has at least one comment elsewhere wailing that “Neckbeard” is a “Misandristic slur”?

I wouldn’t bet against that. They treat it like actual slurs: they can use it because they’re “reclaiming” it. But if anyone else uses it? Misandry!

To be fair, one also sees “neckbeard” used by some nerds to show their superiority to other nerds. That’s not usually considered problematic among nerds. Katherine Cross made the point that the neckbeard insult originated within gaming/geek culture, not feminism.

Interestingly enough, it’s not just misogynists who argue that “neckbeard” is a hurtful insult. Take this Everyday Feminism blog. In it, the dude argues that it’s hurtful because it’s body shaming. I don’t know about that. One can wear a metaphorical neckbeard or literal one. It’s not the same as saying a woman has nothing to offer because she has tats, piercings, and dyed hair. But I also agree that misogynists are not just dudes with poor hygiene in basements. Fair point.

It reminds me of this other critique of the word “neckbeard”, which also feels inadequate. Feminist men seem to get hypersensitive about this word, when they think it means critiquing their nerdiness rather than, you know, misogynistic nerds. It’s no longer solely used by “cool” nerds to mock “inferior” ones.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ dallillama

genetic drift gave us giant pandas

I genuinely did wonder if there was some selection pressure at play on the grounds that pandas are so damned cute just looking like that meant people wouldn’t hunt them.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

Welcome, TheDreadVampy!

Regarding why goobers hate gawker, I think it’s because of the “Gamers are dead” thing? I assume so, anyway, because they referenced taking away advertisers from gawker, and that’s the only incident I can recall where goobers went after advertisers and succeeded.

Tragedy of the Commas
Tragedy of the Commas
4 years ago

Regarding why goobers hate gawker, I think it’s because of the “Gamers are dead” thing? I assume so, anyway, because they referenced taking away advertisers from gawker, and that’s the only incident I can recall where goobers went after advertisers and succeeded.

Huh. Did they run that? I thought the “gamers are dead” meme originated with an (often misunderstood) editorial by Leigh Alexander at GamaSutra. But looking at RationalWiki, it appears the phrase is a reference to several blogs and articles, including ones by Kotaku and Ars Technica. The former is part of Gawker Media, which also owns Jezebel and…OK, I see the “why” of it now. You’re right about the advertising thing, too. Thanks, kupo!

Ironically, Alexander didn’t even use the phrase in her op-ed. She spoke of a specific gamer culture and mindset. Her piece is snarky as all hell, but she was right that “gamer” is no longer a fixed identity describing a bubble of faithful consumers who prefer games to people.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@TheDreadVampy
Hello! Welcome.

@Viscaria
I hope that things start looking up soon.

Jaygee
Jaygee
4 years ago

I shaved my legs once 16 years ago for a dance and never again! I have eczema, so I do not want to have to deal with unnecessary irritation. My leg hair is not very thick though, so it can go unnoticed. Legs do not have beards though. Why must MRAs abuse words?! Words mean things damnit.

Lady Mondegreen
Lady Mondegreen
4 years ago

What is a cry tabloid? Does David have a cry tabloid? Where does he keep it?

Hyatt
Hyatt
4 years ago

@Jaygee

Eczema/sensitive skin sufferers unite! I don’t even wear long sleeves, they make my skin feel too weird. Forget shaving anything.

EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

@Tragedy of the Commas:
Alexander committed two unforgivable sins when writing that piece, which meat that the Gators hate her forever:

1) She addressed it over their heads to game publishers, speaking about players in the third person rather than pandering to them. This made the Gators realise just how inconsequential they are and how little it matters what they think, because the actual decisions are made by cold-blooded money people. She blew away the polite fiction that’s been built up by years of intense marketing and talked purely about the realities of the business, and that showed the Gators just how small they truly were and how little they actually had to offer game publishers.

2) She was a woman.

I really liked “Gamers are Dead”, and it’s the piece which made me stop thinking of myself as a gamer; but a lot of other people had been saying the same thing for a while and it’s odd that her piece drew so much flak compared to the others.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
4 years ago

The terminal length of head hair differs with each individual – my hair gets to waist length when the overall condition is good, but only to where the bra band happens to be when my hair is in poor shape. I couldn’t even begin to assess the growth cycle for hair on the rest of me given that most of it is very light in color and none of it has ever been particularly uh…lush…in quantity. Based on a quick visual inspection, the only hair long enough for me to braid is on my head.

I did feel a slight twinge of disappointment over not being able to braid any of the hairs not on my head, just so everyone knows. 😛

Elspeth
Elspeth
4 years ago

I just wanted delurk to say that the meme with the straw feminist talking points that weirwoodtreehugger posted actually made me upset. The fabulous lady who has unfairly had her photo made into that meme used to run an awesome fatshion/fat acceptance blog that I really loved reading, but she deleted her blog because she had to deal with a lot of online bullying and had people (like the fuck knuckle who made that meme) constantly stealing her photos to make horrible things like that.

I’m really sad to see that she is still copping it.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
4 years ago

@EJ

Honestly, the first point’s irrelevant in the face of the second. Take the article as-is, slap “Lesley Alexander” on the top and none of them would’ve even noticed it exists.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

@M:
It’s 9am and I’m unlikely to read anything as true as what you just wrote.

otrame
otrame
4 years ago

@bluecat

I have a friend whose hair grew back very curly after chemo. It gradually lost that to some extent but has remained somewhat more curly than it was.

I started plucking that one hair on my chin when I was about 45. At 55 I realized that I was spending 20-30 minutes a day plucking. I shave now. I could grow a nice goatee if I so chose. But even though I have always hated shaving ANYWHERE, I don’t want a beard.

I quit bothering about shaving anywhere else years ago. I don’t like sleeveless on me anyway, and I found that af
ter a couple of years the hair on legs and underarms became very fine and hardly noticeable.

Tom
Tom
4 years ago

Roller derby is great to watch. Those ladies are tough. I have a feeling these boys are intimidated. I can’t imagine MGTOW and MRAs feel very confident with all their internalized misogyny. I like a woman who is my equal, not a doormat….not that women have to care what I like.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Tom

I like a woman who is my equal, not a doormat….not that women have to care what I like.

But the woman you’re with should care what you like when it comes to such an important issue. And even unimportant issues. Of course, it doesn’t mean that she’ll always do what you like.

Pava
Pava
4 years ago

For all the celebration for Gawker taking hits… I wonder how Gamergaters are reacting to the shitstorm over at Breitbart

http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-trump-breitbart-idUSKCN0WG20E