When feminist author Jessica Valenti posted a picture of herself wearing an “I bathe in male tears” sweatshirt, Men’s Rights activists reacted as though she had literally called for the violent murder of every man on planet earth.
Though Valenti made clear the sentiment on the shirt was aimed at the obnoxious Men’s Rights types who routinely flood the comments on her articles, MRAs chose to believe that she was mocking homeless men, battered men, male suicide victims, and other men suffering very real pain.
A Voice for Men led the charge, with AVFM’s “social media director” Andrea “JudgyBitch” Hardie, one of Valenti’s most persistent and dishonest harassers, proclaiming that Valenti “hates all men and thinks their pain is funny, no matter what the source of it,” an assertion that is as demonstrably false as a flat earther’s contention that gravity doesn’t exist.
Valenti wasn’t the only “ironic misandrist” vilified by MRAs at AVFM and elsewhere; some were so upset by the trope they launched a campaign to try to convince the world that “male tears” was slang for semen.
I bring all this up because, as I perused the meme repository on A Voice for Men’s Facebook page recently, in preparation for the Memeday celebrations here on WHTM today, I noticed a couple newly posted memes that centered on female tears.
And it struck me how many of the very same Men’s Rights Activists who’ve thrown the biggest tantrums over the ironic misandry of the “male tears” trope love to joke about female and/or feminist tears.
I decided to scroll back through the AVFM archives to see how many more I could find. The short answer: a lot, many of them not only reveling in (imaginary) female tears but taking a certain pleasure in the notion that their own antifeminist activism was causing them. I had originally planned to go through the archives of several other antifeminist Facebook pages, but I found so many on AVFM’s Facebook page I didn’t bother. All but one of the memes below come from AVFM’s Facebook page or from Hardie’s JudgyBitch site.
Let’s start with AVFM’s favorite stock image of a crying woman:
These are all lovely, each in their unique way, but the last one may be my favorite, as it reveals the almost proud ignorance of feminism that underlies so many MRA attacks on feminism. What “radical feminist” magazines is this crying feminist supposed to be subscribing to? Beyond Ms magazine, hardly a bastion of radical feminism these days, I doubt the meme-maker or any of those who’ve passed along this meme could name any feminist magazines at all.
But this crying woman isn’t the only one to make it into MRA memes. There’s this theatrically crying gal — the same one who’s in the meme at the top of the page.
There’s this artfully photographed black and white lady:
This cartoon stereotype:
This crying girl:
And her friends:
There are crying celebrities:
And ordinary women who’ve been turned into memes against their will:
Not all of the sad women in MRA memes have literal tears running down their cheeks. Some just look like they’re about to burst into tears.
And let’s not forget the image that AVFM’s Andrea Hardie used to append to so many of her Tweets.
What’s striking to me about all these memes, beyond all the tears, is how little any of these memes have to do with any aspect of real-world feminism. Or real-world women, for that matter.
Many of the memes are, of course, little more than meanspirited “nyah-nyahs” aimed at feminists: “I don’t wike it/I’m a feminist” is not what you’d call a sophisticated rebuttal to feminist arguments.
But then again, none of the other memes offer real rebuttals either, largely because the feminism they attack is made almost entirely of straw. Neither feminists, nor women in general, have ever demanded “total control over men.” Women aren’t buying pearl necklaces with child support money. Virtually all of the “privileges” or “special treatment” that MRAs accuse feminists of demanding aren’t either, and in many cases apply equally to men. Virtually the only obligation that men have and women don’t is that men have to sign a largely meaningless registration card for a non-existent and politically impossible draft.
And of course there is no such thing as french-fry rape.
Cry harder, MRAs.
EDIT: Added the link to Hardie’s comment on Valenti.
MRA memes are BAD and they should feel BAD
@Tessa:
I think that’s what they meant it to be, yes. But I tend to see it as a tiny pair of toddler legs with a big, droopy diaper sagging soggily in between. Much more fitting, I’d say.
Oh! And you know what else is more popular than AVFMorons? This:
Popular for a reason. And part of that is how it helps us forget this manurosphere shit.
Boo. My browser crashed while I was writing a reply, so I lost some, but some pages with more than 14,000 likes:
Espionage cosmetics (a nerd makeup site)
Women’s Running Club
Bark Magazine
Women Without Religion
Tommy Wiseau
The Room
Greg Sestero ( Mark from The Room )
Fart jokes
Poopy cat
Poopourri
If we’re using Facebook stats as a sign of rightness, the page I admin has a little over 16,000 likes, so I am righter than AVFM. But Atchoum the werewolf cat has nearly 50,000 likes, so he is righterer. Not to mention adorable-er.
1. What the fuck does that fourth one with First World Problems lady have to do with a movie about women’s suffrage in the UK?
2. Oh no, AVFM has 14,000 Facebook likes! That’s, like, 1/20th of the number of likes Dan Savage has! Or, like, 28% of the number of likes the furry fandom has! Christ, if they get another 9,000 they’ll be at Folsom Street Events levels!
AVFM: still less important than furries.
@lkeke35 –
http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-xtLhtNBM3h8/VVL4cfPXTJI/AAAAAAABB9A/nt70tdrLrNk/goats-argan-trees-7%25255B6%25255D.jpg
OT (except that I’m sure that MRAs are going to frame this as “something something something Female Entitlement”, “blardeblar Special Treatment”, “hurr durr False Accusations”):
Out Here, No One Can Hear You Scream
The dangerous culture of male entitlement and sexual hostility hiding within America’s national parks and forests.
But there’s no such thing as “rape culture” in the US. /s
That’s the sort of quote which should go on the flaghead.
The headline picture is so bizarre to me. I’ve never felt like feminism is trying to control me. Perhaps because when I am told that I am capable of understanding and valuing sexual consent, or treating women as equals in any number of ways, I feel respected?
Did anyone else feel uneasy about the use of a shirtless little girl in two of those images? Maybe I’m being overly sensitive, but there’s so much defense of child abuse in these circles…it just gave me a really bad vibe.
@mockingbird: Oof. I got halfway through that story before I had to take a break and take some deep breaths outside.
How anyone can be that oblivious to the power differential in those situations, and the abject fear that they are subjecting their victims to, is beyond my understanding. (And that’s giving them the undeserved benefit of the doubt that they didn’t just get off on it.)
I’m no good with graphics, so just imagine a stock picture of a crying MRA for each of these:
“I spent 17 bucks on dinner and pretended to be interested in her stupid life, and she still wouldn’t have sex with me!”
“A woman criticized my favorite video game!”
“All I want is for women never to compete with men for jobs, while also not receiving any financial support from men for them or their children!”
“They remade Ghostbusters! With WOMEN!”
And the one that pretty much covers it all:
“It’s not fair! Women are allowed a choice about whether to have sex with me or not!”
well, Jezebel has 708,726. bet that pisses them off
I keep thinking of more. Again, picture a fedora-clad MRA, weeping theatrically:
“Why didn’t Roosh’s book warn me about child support?”
“Mom says that if I don’t clean my room, she’ll make me move out of the basement. Misandry!”
“I harassed and threatened a woman into leaving Twitter, and I’m still as miserable, bitter and unloved as I was before!”
Cats and donkeys have been mentioned in this thread.
Kitty’s all like “This rail is here to put me at convenient donkey face level.”
@Pony’s Labia
Please. You know that YOU HAVE NO TIME TO FEEL BAD. You’re TOO BUSY MAKING CHEESY GRAPHICS!!!!!
And explaining to your mom why you can’t find a job.
@Social Justice Atheist(s)
Because, to paraphrase Walt Whitman, you are large. You contain multitudes.
@Kat
You might be onto something…
I think I finally nailed what they want.
They don’t want a woman to work outside the home, because she may have her own money and she won’t be totally dependent on them.
They want her to accept the role of The Man as provider and never work, just make The Man food, clean up after him, take care of his pets. Let’s face it, a lot of these guys seem to want children the same way a 5-year-old wants a puppy. Sure, a puppy seems like a great idea, cause they’re great. But they only want to be around for the fun parts, not disciplining it, feeding it, cleaning up after it. Pretty much the same with kids – they’ll be around for playing with the kid, but all the making sure the kid doesn’t kick it stuff is up to the woman.
Also, they’re angry because a woman can divorce them. They lose their maid and chef and they have to pay so they can play with the kid/puppy. Their child won’t be around to amuse them whenever they want and they’re pissed off the their wives because of that.
I’m sure some fathers were screwed in a divorce and they wanted to take care of their kids. But the guys quoted above don’t seem to care so much about the children, they seem to care that something was taken from them.
So they want someone who can love them no matter what they do, clean, cook for them, take care of their pets/kids and never take away their stuff. They pretty much want a mother who they can sleep with. She also has to be really hot all the time, even right after giving birth. And during the pregnancy. And that’s a fantasy.
In short, they’re like a spoiled 5-year-old who is angry at the world, because they want Santa to be real.
Double post (sorry, my laptop restarted itself) : But they’d like it the most if women didn’t have their own income and were dependent on them, but they didn’t have to pay for anything. So yeah, still a 5-year-old who wants Santa to be real.
Hello.
Can someone explains me the cartoon with the French fries ? Are there anti-feminist stuff linked to potatoes or fried potatoes ?
And it is well known that men never cry, are we not ? So why bother whinning about a Tshirt mentionning men tears ?
Have a nice day.
This is the sort of nonsense one expects from a troll trying to satirise a position they disagree with, whether you are one or not. Commonsense concepts of gender, male and female are certainly over-simplified, but most people do fit relatively easily into either “male” or “female”. This is just as true as the fact that some people don’t. Meanwhile, take my advice and don’t go into medicine, biology or farming – you’ll find them just too upsetting because in all of them, you will have to take account of biological realities.
I did go into biology and farming, and it doesn’t really bother me even when it involves culling and butchering. But if you want to model our society after the natural world rather than civilized ethics, be careful what you ask for. Male disposability and the fact that a male youth bulge in proximity is the most reliable indicator for outbreaks of violent conflict is also based in cold, hard biology (as anyone with chickens has to come to terms with) but I don’t see MRA’s humbly accepting this as the wisdom of nature’s plan. But when you’re getting the short end of the stick, accepting your role like a drone suddenly doesn’t sound so great, does it?
I guess any place will do for this. I’ve spent quite a bit of time in fairly masculine settings like the military, geology field camps, etc., where some guys have (spoiler alert) less than enlightened views on interpersonal relationships.
And I NEVER encountered anything like MRA, AVFM or ROK. What dank crevices are these guys hiding in? That stereotype about Mom’s basement sure looks plausible.
Gen Jones nailed it:
“Here’s the thing about redpillers and MRA’s that really grinds my gears, they seem to be mostly right wingers. I used to be a fan of the Amazing Atheist (back when he was mostly about atheism) and I was fucking FLOORED when he revealed he votes for the party of ignorant religious “moral majority” crap. This is what gets me:
They rage against the draft and men dying in war, yet they vote for the party of militarism and Chickenhawks.
They rage about men dying in dangerous jobs, and they vote for the party of anti-unions and deregulations.
They rage about lack of social resources for homeless men, and they vote for the party that hates handouts and tells them to pull themselves up by the bootstraps.
They rage against supporting children when they don’t want to, yet they vote for the party of abstinence-only education and attacking birth control and abortion.
They rage against supporting women, yet they vote for the party of “family values” and traditionalism that outright tells women their place is in the home.
The way I see it, they support everything they claim to hate and will vote for policies that hurt men as long as it’s a vote against the liberal feminist agenda.”
It bears repeating. The entire MRA schtick is political theatre aimed at propping up teabagging religious fundies intent on legislating away women’s rights. It’s an act. Stop arguing with them. Start voting.