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a voice for men antifeminism antifeminist women empathy deficit entitled babies evil ex-wives men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA post contains sarcasm

The MRAs who scream the loudest about “male tears” t-shirts revel in “crying woman” memes

Wait, what? From AVFM's Facebook page.
Wait, what? From AVFM’s Facebook page.

When feminist author Jessica Valenti posted a picture of herself wearing an “I bathe in male tears” sweatshirt, Men’s Rights activists reacted as though she had literally called for the violent murder of every man on planet earth.

Though Valenti made clear the sentiment on the shirt was aimed at the obnoxious Men’s Rights types who routinely flood the comments on her articles, MRAs chose to believe that she was mocking homeless men, battered men, male suicide victims, and other men suffering very real pain.

A Voice for Men led the charge, with AVFM’s “social media director” Andrea “JudgyBitch” Hardie, one of Valenti’s most persistent and dishonest harassers, proclaiming that Valenti “hates all men and thinks their pain is funny, no matter what the source of it,” an assertion that is as demonstrably false as a flat earther’s contention that gravity doesn’t exist.

Valenti wasn’t the only “ironic misandrist” vilified by MRAs at AVFM and elsewhere; some were so upset by the trope they launched a campaign to try to convince the world that “male tears” was slang for semen.

I bring all this up because, as I perused the meme repository on A Voice for Men’s Facebook page recently, in preparation for the Memeday celebrations here on WHTM today, I noticed a couple newly posted memes that centered on female tears.

And it struck me how many of the very same Men’s Rights Activists who’ve thrown the biggest tantrums over the ironic misandry of the “male tears” trope love to joke about female and/or feminist tears.  

I decided to scroll back through the AVFM archives to see how many more I could find. The short answer: a lot, many of them not only reveling in (imaginary) female tears but taking a certain pleasure in the notion that their own antifeminist activism was causing them. I had originally planned to go through the archives of several other antifeminist Facebook pages, but I found so many on AVFM’s Facebook page I didn’t bother. All but one of the memes below come from AVFM’s Facebook page or from Hardie’s JudgyBitch site.

Let’s start with AVFM’s favorite stock image of a crying woman:

avfmcrystupid

avfmcrydictionary

avfmcryface

avfmcrysuff

I censored this one a teensy bit.
I censored this one a teensy bit.

avfmcryradfem

These are all lovely, each in their unique way, but the last one may be my favorite, as it reveals the almost proud ignorance of feminism that underlies so many MRA attacks on feminism. What “radical feminist” magazines is this crying feminist supposed to be subscribing to? Beyond Ms magazine, hardly a bastion of radical feminism these days, I doubt the meme-maker or any of those who’ve passed along this meme could name any feminist magazines at all.

But this crying woman isn’t the only one to make it into MRA memes. There’s this theatrically crying gal — the same one who’s in the meme at the top of the page.

avfmcrypriv

There’s this artfully photographed black and white lady:

avfmcrybw

This cartoon stereotype:

avfmcrycomic

This crying girl:

cryinggirl

crybaby6

And her friends:

feministscy

There are crying celebrities:

crykim

And ordinary women who’ve been turned into memes against their will:

crygreen

Not all of the sad women in MRA memes have literal tears running down their cheeks. Some just look like they’re about to burst into tears.

crazycry

crynothinggood

cryblackman

crystrong

And let’s not forget the image that AVFM’s Andrea Hardie used to append to so many of her Tweets.

tears

What’s striking to me about all these memes, beyond all the tears, is how little any of these memes have to do with any aspect of real-world feminism. Or real-world women, for that matter.

Many of the memes are, of course, little more than meanspirited “nyah-nyahs” aimed at feminists: “I don’t wike it/I’m a feminist” is not what you’d call a sophisticated rebuttal to feminist arguments.

But then again, none of the other memes offer real rebuttals either, largely because the feminism they attack is made almost entirely of straw. Neither feminists, nor women in general, have ever demanded “total control over men.” Women aren’t buying pearl necklaces with child support money. Virtually all of the “privileges” or “special treatment” that MRAs accuse feminists of demanding aren’t either, and in many cases apply equally to men. Virtually the only obligation that men have and women don’t is that men have to sign a largely meaningless registration card for a non-existent and politically impossible draft.

And of course there is no such thing as french-fry rape.

Cry harder, MRAs.

EDIT: Added the link to Hardie’s comment on Valenti.

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GenJones
GenJones
5 years ago

Here’s the thing about redpillers and MRA’s that really grinds my gears, they seem to be mostly right wingers. I used to be a fan of the Amazing Atheist (back when he was mostly about atheism) and I was fucking FLOORED when he revealed he votes for the party of ignorant religious “moral majority” crap. This is what gets me:

They rage against the draft and men dying in war, yet they vote for the party of militarism and Chickenhawks.

They rage about men dying in dangerous jobs, and they vote for the party of anti-unions and deregulations.

They rage about lack of social resources for homeless men, and they vote for the party that hates handouts and tells them to pull themselves up by the bootstraps.

They rage against supporting children when they don’t want to, yet they vote for the party of abstinence-only education and attacking birth control and abortion.

They rage against supporting women, yet they vote for the party of “family values” and traditionalism that outright tells women their place is in the home.

The way I see it, they support everything they claim to hate and will vote for policies that hurt men as long as it’s a vote against the liberal feminist agenda.

Number Sequence
Number Sequence
5 years ago

Man, I remember playing VVVVVV and getting to that trinket with the twelve room long flip sequence and one of the rooms was called “Your tears: Delicious” or something like that. I was so offended that I cried into a bottle and sent it to Terry Cavanagh’s P.O. box just to teach him a lesson.

Oh, wait, no, I didn’t because I can take a joke.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

What banananana dakry said:

Donkey manure, however, makes excellent fertilizer. Manosphere shit, OTOH, does nothing except lie there, get more toxic, and stink up the place.

Also, the world is the manosphere’s sanctuary. Donkeys don’t have too many sanctuaries within that larger sanctuary.

And yet they remain the gentle, helpful, pettable creatures that they are.

Can’t say that about the privileged manospherians!

Saphira
Saphira
5 years ago

My favourite donkey sanctuary has (as of just now) 260,156 Facebook likes; and the donkeys don’t even do podcasts.

No, but asses do.

Ba doom boom. I’ll be here all week, folks.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

Even 14 000 likes, despite not being much by FB standards, doesn’t mesh with their falling visitor count or endless failed fundraisers. I wonder if they bought them like they bought their Twitter followers.

katz
5 years ago

Likes and follows can endure even when meaningful viewership disappears, since it takes active effort to unfollow something. We have no idea how many people muted it and forgot it existed, or just keep scrolling past it.

But yeah, even if those are all bona fide fans, it’s a hearteningly small number.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

Yeah, yeah, manospherians, women are evil. These stock photos prove it.

But I guarantee you that if Kim Kardashian–yeah, she’s one of the crying models–were to give Paul Elam a wink (or even if she had something in her eye and he happened to be standing somewhere near her while she blinked a few times), he would be BRAGGING SO MUCH. We would never hear the end of how Kim Kardashian says he’s the most alpha male ever, yada, yada, yada.

And it’s not just Kim Kardashian. If any of those crying women ever hinted that any of you guys were slightly more attractive than a rabid squirrel, you too would be BRAGGING SO MUCH. A stock model said I was a 3 on a scale of 1 to 100! Take that, feminazis!

In no way am I implying that these women can turn you into good guys. Hey, they’re models–and one world-famous reality TV star–not miracle workers!

Inkswitch
Inkswitch
5 years ago

@Kit Fowley

The answer is they make up conspiracy theories about radical feminism or cultural Marxism or the liberal media or some other bullshit. Wait, were they talking about women?!

[loud applause]

As for the MRAs, Heavy Weapons Guy has something to say to you
https://youtu.be/CZkIbKxFec8
I don’t know how to just paste vids here :s

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
5 years ago

… they support everything they claim to hate and will vote for policies that hurt men as long as it’s a vote against the liberal feminist agenda.

GenJones, I think you put a great deal of valid observation in a nutshell.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

Strong and independent… …Just found out that men no longer want to fulfull their traditional roles either.

Hooray! You mean MRAs want to be more emotionally open, respect women as people, do their share of housework and child rearing, stop treating human interaction as a zero-sum competition, stop using women’s genitalia and homosexuality as deadly put-downs, and base their self-worth on something other than bench presses, income, and number of 18 year olds coerced into bed? After all, that’s what they mean when they say “traditional roles”: women get back in the kitchen and keep quiet, men do whatever the hell they want with no consequences. It’s high time we kicked rigidly prescriptive “traditional roles” to the curb, for all genders.

That lady in the meme ought to be popping champagne.

Pol
Pol
5 years ago

That’s right Skullpants. It is “high time we kicked rigidly prescriptive “traditional roles” to the curb, for all genders.”

And I would even go further to say that the concept of gender itself is illusory. There is no such thing in reality as “male” and “female”. These are just misconceptions that have been held in a commonsense way but do not stand up to scrutiny.

Social Justice Atheists
Social Justice Atheists
5 years ago

The one about the “black man talked to me” thing is ironic as fuck considering how racist/associated with white supremacists a lot of MRAs are.

Also, the lack of self-awareness is painful since most of these memes could be changed to be talking about MRAs and describe them perfectly.

Social Justice Atheist
Social Justice Atheist
5 years ago

Why did I put my name as “Social Justice Atheists?” Just why? Ugh, too early…

Pol
Pol
5 years ago

It doesn’t matter Atheist. Just re-register (is that even a real word?) under a new name and post to your heart’s content. We will be none the wiser and nobody will mourn the demise of your old handle.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

Who else guessed that /pol/ Pol was going to be a troll before even reading his posts?

Pol
Pol
5 years ago

OK. Now for some reason SJA, the post about your name troubles appeared well before your previous one with the typo “Atheists” as a part of your name instead of “Atheist”. So, yeah….

Pol
Pol
5 years ago

Hi Hard Chairs. I am not a troll. Why do you think that? I like this site and visit it often. Is it something about my name?

EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

@SJA:
I think the “a black man talked to me” thing is desperate wish-fulfillment on the part of the MRAs. They want to be the protectors of the virtue of white women. They feel very threatened by the thought that women might not want their protection.

@Pol:
SJA is an awesome person and if she disappeared then we would miss her.

Pol
Pol
5 years ago

OK, thanks EJ. I don’t want SJA to go away either. It was just one of those things where a previous post was delayed for some reason and so I offered some of my er, helpful advice in error. Nothing more than that.

Heh heh. I actually thought that she regreted the phrase SJA! I am quite amused by this. Anyway, as we were.

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

@Pol
You share a name with a hate-filled subreddit.

@EJ
I think Pol was saying that no one would mind if SJA changed her handle, not if she left.

Social Justice Atheist
Social Justice Atheist
5 years ago

@Pol

I always use the handle Social Justice Atheist, but I accidentally typed Atheists instead. I wasn’t trying to change my handle, it was just a mistake.

@EJ

Aww, thank you very much. 🙂 *kitty hugz if wanted*

And I agree about the protectors of white women thing. They always find a lovely way to combine their misogyny and racism in a nice, neat little package.

Pol
Pol
5 years ago

Oh dear…. Well thanks for the heads-up kupo. I don’t really pay attention to reddit and I certainly wasn’t going for “hate filled” when I chose my my name. I was thinking more like “power of love” amoungst other more arcane things. Ha ha!

Anyhoo, I have entered the wee hours of the morning here and my bed beckons. Goodnight all.

Leftwingfox
Leftwingfox
5 years ago

@GenJones: I noticed that too. My take is that so-called MRAs don’t actually want to improve the lives of men by fighting against those issues, they just want compensation for the potential to be in those positions.

They want to claim that because men in general have problems, women in general should shut up and fuck them specifically.

KafkaNoMore
KafkaNoMore
5 years ago

14 000 followers on fb? LOL

Somebody should inform them that Feminist Frequency (that devil Anita) has 4 times more likes than they do.

I bet that somewhere there on facebook is a site about farts that has more likes than Avfm.

Suck it up MRA losers!

Pony's Labia
Pony's Labia
5 years ago

MRA memes are BAD and they should feel BAD

Bina
5 years ago

@Tessa:

OK, I was looking at the A Voice For Men logo in the title picture, and is it just me, or does it seem like the two red parts that make the V into an “M” supposed to be legs, and the “V” is supposed to be a penis? I can’t really unsee it now.

I think that’s what they meant it to be, yes. But I tend to see it as a tiny pair of toddler legs with a big, droopy diaper sagging soggily in between. Much more fitting, I’d say.

Oh! And you know what else is more popular than AVFMorons? This:

Wine
Food
1,315,794 like this

Popular for a reason. And part of that is how it helps us forget this manurosphere shit.

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

Boo. My browser crashed while I was writing a reply, so I lost some, but some pages with more than 14,000 likes:

Espionage cosmetics (a nerd makeup site)
Women’s Running Club
Bark Magazine
Women Without Religion
Tommy Wiseau
The Room
Greg Sestero ( Mark from The Room )
Fart jokes
Poopy cat
Poopourri

LindsayIrene
5 years ago

If we’re using Facebook stats as a sign of rightness, the page I admin has a little over 16,000 likes, so I am righter than AVFM. But Atchoum the werewolf cat has nearly 50,000 likes, so he is righterer. Not to mention adorable-er.

comment image

ColeYote
ColeYote
5 years ago

1. What the fuck does that fourth one with First World Problems lady have to do with a movie about women’s suffrage in the UK?
2. Oh no, AVFM has 14,000 Facebook likes! That’s, like, 1/20th of the number of likes Dan Savage has! Or, like, 28% of the number of likes the furry fandom has! Christ, if they get another 9,000 they’ll be at Folsom Street Events levels!

AVFM: still less important than furries.

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

OT (except that I’m sure that MRAs are going to frame this as “something something something Female Entitlement”, “blardeblar Special Treatment”, “hurr durr False Accusations”):

Out Here, No One Can Hear You Scream
The dangerous culture of male entitlement and sexual hostility hiding within America’s national parks and forests.

But there’s no such thing as “rape culture” in the US. /s

EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

AVFM: still less important than furries.

That’s the sort of quote which should go on the flaghead.

littleknown
littleknown
5 years ago

The headline picture is so bizarre to me. I’ve never felt like feminism is trying to control me. Perhaps because when I am told that I am capable of understanding and valuing sexual consent, or treating women as equals in any number of ways, I feel respected?

Did anyone else feel uneasy about the use of a shirtless little girl in two of those images? Maybe I’m being overly sensitive, but there’s so much defense of child abuse in these circles…it just gave me a really bad vibe.

littleknown
littleknown
5 years ago

@mockingbird: Oof. I got halfway through that story before I had to take a break and take some deep breaths outside.

How anyone can be that oblivious to the power differential in those situations, and the abject fear that they are subjecting their victims to, is beyond my understanding. (And that’s giving them the undeserved benefit of the doubt that they didn’t just get off on it.)

Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
5 years ago

I’m no good with graphics, so just imagine a stock picture of a crying MRA for each of these:

“I spent 17 bucks on dinner and pretended to be interested in her stupid life, and she still wouldn’t have sex with me!”

“A woman criticized my favorite video game!”

“All I want is for women never to compete with men for jobs, while also not receiving any financial support from men for them or their children!”

“They remade Ghostbusters! With WOMEN!”

And the one that pretty much covers it all:

“It’s not fair! Women are allowed a choice about whether to have sex with me or not!”

Venice
Venice
5 years ago

AVFM has 14,000 facebook likes

well, Jezebel has 708,726. bet that pisses them off

Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
5 years ago

I keep thinking of more. Again, picture a fedora-clad MRA, weeping theatrically:

“Why didn’t Roosh’s book warn me about child support?”

“Mom says that if I don’t clean my room, she’ll make me move out of the basement. Misandry!”

“I harassed and threatened a woman into leaving Twitter, and I’m still as miserable, bitter and unloved as I was before!”

BritterSweet
5 years ago

Cats and donkeys have been mentioned in this thread.

katz
5 years ago

Kitty’s all like “This rail is here to put me at convenient donkey face level.”

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Pony’s Labia

MRA memes are BAD and they should feel BAD.

Please. You know that YOU HAVE NO TIME TO FEEL BAD. You’re TOO BUSY MAKING CHEESY GRAPHICS!!!!!

And explaining to your mom why you can’t find a job.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Social Justice Atheist(s)

Why did I put my name as “Social Justice Atheists?”

Because, to paraphrase Walt Whitman, you are large. You contain multitudes.

Social Justice Atheist
Social Justice Atheist
5 years ago

@Kat

You might be onto something…

Carr
Carr
5 years ago

I think I finally nailed what they want.

They don’t want a woman to work outside the home, because she may have her own money and she won’t be totally dependent on them.

They want her to accept the role of The Man as provider and never work, just make The Man food, clean up after him, take care of his pets. Let’s face it, a lot of these guys seem to want children the same way a 5-year-old wants a puppy. Sure, a puppy seems like a great idea, cause they’re great. But they only want to be around for the fun parts, not disciplining it, feeding it, cleaning up after it. Pretty much the same with kids – they’ll be around for playing with the kid, but all the making sure the kid doesn’t kick it stuff is up to the woman.

Also, they’re angry because a woman can divorce them. They lose their maid and chef and they have to pay so they can play with the kid/puppy. Their child won’t be around to amuse them whenever they want and they’re pissed off the their wives because of that.

I’m sure some fathers were screwed in a divorce and they wanted to take care of their kids. But the guys quoted above don’t seem to care so much about the children, they seem to care that something was taken from them.

So they want someone who can love them no matter what they do, clean, cook for them, take care of their pets/kids and never take away their stuff. They pretty much want a mother who they can sleep with. She also has to be really hot all the time, even right after giving birth. And during the pregnancy. And that’s a fantasy.

In short, they’re like a spoiled 5-year-old who is angry at the world, because they want Santa to be real.

Carr
Carr
5 years ago

Double post (sorry, my laptop restarted itself) : But they’d like it the most if women didn’t have their own income and were dependent on them, but they didn’t have to pay for anything. So yeah, still a 5-year-old who wants Santa to be real.

occasional reader
occasional reader
5 years ago

Hello.

Can someone explains me the cartoon with the French fries ? Are there anti-feminist stuff linked to potatoes or fried potatoes ?

And it is well known that men never cry, are we not ? So why bother whinning about a Tshirt mentionning men tears ?

Have a nice day.

Nick Gotts
Nick Gotts
5 years ago

And I would even go further to say that the concept of gender itself is illusory. There is no such thing in reality as “male” and “female”. These are just misconceptions that have been held in a commonsense way but do not stand up to scrutiny. – Pol

This is the sort of nonsense one expects from a troll trying to satirise a position they disagree with, whether you are one or not. Commonsense concepts of gender, male and female are certainly over-simplified, but most people do fit relatively easily into either “male” or “female”. This is just as true as the fact that some people don’t. Meanwhile, take my advice and don’t go into medicine, biology or farming – you’ll find them just too upsetting because in all of them, you will have to take account of biological realities.

GenJones
GenJones
5 years ago

I did go into biology and farming, and it doesn’t really bother me even when it involves culling and butchering. But if you want to model our society after the natural world rather than civilized ethics, be careful what you ask for. Male disposability and the fact that a male youth bulge in proximity is the most reliable indicator for outbreaks of violent conflict is also based in cold, hard biology (as anyone with chickens has to come to terms with) but I don’t see MRA’s humbly accepting this as the wisdom of nature’s plan. But when you’re getting the short end of the stick, accepting your role like a drone suddenly doesn’t sound so great, does it?

Steve D
Steve D
5 years ago

I guess any place will do for this. I’ve spent quite a bit of time in fairly masculine settings like the military, geology field camps, etc., where some guys have (spoiler alert) less than enlightened views on interpersonal relationships.

And I NEVER encountered anything like MRA, AVFM or ROK. What dank crevices are these guys hiding in? That stereotype about Mom’s basement sure looks plausible.

kfreed
kfreed
5 years ago

Gen Jones nailed it:

“Here’s the thing about redpillers and MRA’s that really grinds my gears, they seem to be mostly right wingers. I used to be a fan of the Amazing Atheist (back when he was mostly about atheism) and I was fucking FLOORED when he revealed he votes for the party of ignorant religious “moral majority” crap. This is what gets me:

They rage against the draft and men dying in war, yet they vote for the party of militarism and Chickenhawks.

They rage about men dying in dangerous jobs, and they vote for the party of anti-unions and deregulations.

They rage about lack of social resources for homeless men, and they vote for the party that hates handouts and tells them to pull themselves up by the bootstraps.

They rage against supporting children when they don’t want to, yet they vote for the party of abstinence-only education and attacking birth control and abortion.

They rage against supporting women, yet they vote for the party of “family values” and traditionalism that outright tells women their place is in the home.

The way I see it, they support everything they claim to hate and will vote for policies that hurt men as long as it’s a vote against the liberal feminist agenda.”

It bears repeating. The entire MRA schtick is political theatre aimed at propping up teabagging religious fundies intent on legislating away women’s rights. It’s an act. Stop arguing with them. Start voting.