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The MRAs who scream the loudest about “male tears” t-shirts revel in “crying woman” memes

Wait, what? From AVFM's Facebook page.
Wait, what? From AVFM’s Facebook page.

When feminist author Jessica Valenti posted a picture of herself wearing an “I bathe in male tears” sweatshirt, Men’s Rights activists reacted as though she had literally called for the violent murder of every man on planet earth.

Though Valenti made clear the sentiment on the shirt was aimed at the obnoxious Men’s Rights types who routinely flood the comments on her articles, MRAs chose to believe that she was mocking homeless men, battered men, male suicide victims, and other men suffering very real pain.

A Voice for Men led the charge, with AVFM’s “social media director” Andrea “JudgyBitch” Hardie, one of Valenti’s most persistent and dishonest harassers, proclaiming that Valenti “hates all men and thinks their pain is funny, no matter what the source of it,” an assertion that is as demonstrably false as a flat earther’s contention that gravity doesn’t exist.

Valenti wasn’t the only “ironic misandrist” vilified by MRAs at AVFM and elsewhere; some were so upset by the trope they launched a campaign to try to convince the world that “male tears” was slang for semen.

I bring all this up because, as I perused the meme repository on A Voice for Men’s Facebook page recently, in preparation for the Memeday celebrations here on WHTM today, I noticed a couple newly posted memes that centered on female tears.

And it struck me how many of the very same Men’s Rights Activists who’ve thrown the biggest tantrums over the ironic misandry of the “male tears” trope love to joke about female and/or feminist tears.  

I decided to scroll back through the AVFM archives to see how many more I could find. The short answer: a lot, many of them not only reveling in (imaginary) female tears but taking a certain pleasure in the notion that their own antifeminist activism was causing them. I had originally planned to go through the archives of several other antifeminist Facebook pages, but I found so many on AVFM’s Facebook page I didn’t bother. All but one of the memes below come from AVFM’s Facebook page or from Hardie’s JudgyBitch site.

Let’s start with AVFM’s favorite stock image of a crying woman:

avfmcrystupid

avfmcrydictionary

avfmcryface

avfmcrysuff

I censored this one a teensy bit.
I censored this one a teensy bit.

avfmcryradfem

These are all lovely, each in their unique way, but the last one may be my favorite, as it reveals the almost proud ignorance of feminism that underlies so many MRA attacks on feminism. What “radical feminist” magazines is this crying feminist supposed to be subscribing to? Beyond Ms magazine, hardly a bastion of radical feminism these days, I doubt the meme-maker or any of those who’ve passed along this meme could name any feminist magazines at all.

But this crying woman isn’t the only one to make it into MRA memes. There’s this theatrically crying gal — the same one who’s in the meme at the top of the page.

avfmcrypriv

There’s this artfully photographed black and white lady:

avfmcrybw

This cartoon stereotype:

avfmcrycomic

This crying girl:

cryinggirl

crybaby6

And her friends:

feministscy

There are crying celebrities:

crykim

And ordinary women who’ve been turned into memes against their will:

crygreen

Not all of the sad women in MRA memes have literal tears running down their cheeks. Some just look like they’re about to burst into tears.

crazycry

crynothinggood

cryblackman

crystrong

And let’s not forget the image that AVFM’s Andrea Hardie used to append to so many of her Tweets.

tears

What’s striking to me about all these memes, beyond all the tears, is how little any of these memes have to do with any aspect of real-world feminism. Or real-world women, for that matter.

Many of the memes are, of course, little more than meanspirited “nyah-nyahs” aimed at feminists: “I don’t wike it/I’m a feminist” is not what you’d call a sophisticated rebuttal to feminist arguments.

But then again, none of the other memes offer real rebuttals either, largely because the feminism they attack is made almost entirely of straw. Neither feminists, nor women in general, have ever demanded “total control over men.” Women aren’t buying pearl necklaces with child support money. Virtually all of the “privileges” or “special treatment” that MRAs accuse feminists of demanding aren’t either, and in many cases apply equally to men. Virtually the only obligation that men have and women don’t is that men have to sign a largely meaningless registration card for a non-existent and politically impossible draft.

And of course there is no such thing as french-fry rape.

Cry harder, MRAs.

EDIT: Added the link to Hardie’s comment on Valenti.

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Shane
Shane
4 years ago

I was abandoned by my mother, Its ok, I don’t blame women for that.. Government women raised me, they were real mean to the boys, “Your not going to grow up to be another monster of a man” None of them ever said I love you or anything. My grandmother rescue me from that at age 11, and raised me until I was 15, she was a kind woman, but hated her daughter my mother, and she was very stoic with me. My mate’s mother’s educated me in the way’s of women; It was child abuse I realize now, But I am thankful for the education. But then I realized that I was completely alone and I had no blood relatives. I have had every kind of short relationship you can imagine. It always ends up being the same, either they lack a violent role in the relationship and so they take on that role themselves because I can’t and things end badly; Or after a few months I make them happy enough to forget that “HE” nearly killed her and they go back to him because his last message said “He’s Changed” in a way unlike the last six times. So, women fucked me up basically, either they want to get hit, or they are seriously deficient. Women are, in my opinion, the cruelest and most hostile creatures on the earth;

No man I ever met would ever do some of the cruel things that women do – raise a puppy to be sweet, just so you can kick it hard in the head each time you leave the room – because you know it will never bite you no matter how much you kick it!

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

@Alan, feminists are aware of the troubles men face – and while some of the positions in your link are statistical misinterpretations, some are absolutely problems which need to be addressed for the good of men, and women, everywhere.

Turns out that feminist thought has a branch or two devoted to these specific problems. Has done so since the 70’s. You should go read up on them! Instead of posting, y’know, the same old “women are hypergamous sloots” line that we see everywhere.

Thank you for the link!

Alan
Alan
3 years ago

“Feminists are aware of the troubles men face” – no, they arent (or maybe in wehuntedthemammoth.com? slate? Huf. post? or usponkenly, just in their minds?), but I know that is one of their oldest lies (intended, among other things, for acquisition of subventions). But during five or ten years I am intersted in the topic, I was surely blind, wasnt I?
“Statistical misinterpretations” amused me, inasmuch as the “statistical misinterpretations” are the base of feminism.
And thanks for womansplanning about what I have to do “instead of posting”; do
you have links to these feminist branches devoted to mens issues ?
Thanks!

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ Alan (this is going to get confusing)

do you have links to these feminist branches devoted to mens issues ?

I’m not an expert on this by any means, but I think the point of feminism is to address problems that affect women. It’s like there’s a clue in the title. Demanding feminists address issues affecting men is like saying “What are the Black Panthers doing for the white folks?”.

Now as it happens there can be a bit of a periphery demographic effect. Take male mental health and suicide for example (which is one of the things mentioned in your link). A lot of that is down to pressure on guys to act tough and not open up about their feelings for fear of being judged (mainly by other guys) as ‘wusses’

Feminists seem to be one group who feel it’s ok for men to open up about stuff like that and that it shouldn’t be seen as a sign of weakness.

Personally I don’t feel there’s any obligation on feminists to address men’s issues, even by ‘accident’, but you asked for links so here’s a feminist group some friends are involved with that actually does do stuff for guys.

http://shipleyfeministzealots.org.uk/about-2/

Now can you link to any so called MRA group that’s actually raised funds like this?

Alan
Alan
3 years ago

So previsible and typical : Feminist declares that feminists care also about mens issues and when you asked for examples, the answer is there is no reason why they should.
Personaly I dont care if feminists are intersted in or no, because I know they arent. I just asked for links to branches Scildfreja told about.
And I do not understand what the link you posted have in common with is : maybe it had to show that MRAs receive more state funds than feminists or…?
Anyway, thank you for another unsurpraising discussion with feminists and good evening from Central Europe

Makroth - wild west firecracker window-smashing soap-averse unionized cowboy Jacobin from Hell
Makroth - wild west firecracker window-smashing soap-averse unionized cowboy Jacobin from Hell
3 years ago

@Alan

You didn’t really read it, did you?

”We run cake stalls raising money for Bradford Women’s Aid and CALM (a charity working to prevent male suicide) and we organised the Shipley Sister March on 21st January.”

When was the last time Paul Elam raised money to prevent male suicide? When was the last time any MRA organization did anything besides complain about how mean those nasty feminists are?

Can YOU offer any links to organizations that help with that? Or did you just here for the whataboutthemenzing?

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

Necros an old thread, asks for a link, receives a link, is dissatisfied with the link, flounces.

All righty, then.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

Anyway, thank you for another unsurpraising discussion with feminists and good evening from Central Europe

You’re welcome. Go trot back to where you came from and claim victory.

eta: I’m trying to imagine what kind of reception I might get if I went to an MRA site and asked what about the women. It isn’t pretty. Not sure why MRAs feel like feminists should be working for men when MRAs don’t work for women.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Alan (not our Alan),

Feminism is made up of individual people, not a hive mind.

Some feminists are interested in men’s issues too and don’t mind the what about the menzing so much.

Some feminists, like me, roll our eyes when men ask us what we do for them. One of the ways in which misogyny manifests is that men expect women to center them and do (usually uncredited) labor for them.

I guarantee you that no one here was any kind of issue with say, programs that encourage young boys to read, work to destigmatize seeking treatment for mental illness or advocate for ending the war on drugs, which would result in far fewer men of color being imprisoned. Some individual feminists will even be involved in issues like this. However, it is not feminism’s job to center men and even asking it to is inherently misogynistic.

Not centering men’s issues doesn’t mean feminists hate men anymore than clean water advocates or animal rights advocates hate men because they haven’t centered men’s issues. I think you know that. I don’t assume good faith from you at all and I think you only bring up men’s issues because it gives you an excuse to be an anti-feminist.

Jesalin
Jesalin
3 years ago

Not sure why MRAs feel like feminists should be working for men when MRAs don’t work for women.

Well, I suppose you could say they’re at least nondiscriminatory(in a sense). After all, they don’t work for men either.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

Well, I suppose you could say they’re at least nondiscriminatory(in a sense). After all, they don’t work for men either.

True. I was focusing more on the hypocrisy of it, but it really is a case of MRAs wanting feminists to do their work for them.

Jesalin
Jesalin
3 years ago

@PoM

Oh definitely! I was just going for the backhanded compliment to be a brat ^^