I just discovered this amazing example of clickbaitery from Metro.co.uk.
The crappily photoshopped picture is a nice touch as well, by which I mean creepy as all get out. Where is this woman supposed to be, anyway, and why is she (apparently) fully clothed?
The article itself, just a few short paragraphs, raises the specter of “hackers taking over our dildoes and wreaking havoc on our genitals” — I’m not quite sure how — before dismissing the danger as trivial.
No, the real danger, according to the Trend Micro spokesman they talked to, is that the dildo-hackers could get access to your credit card number and other personal details.
Trend Micro spokesman Raimund Genes said, ‘If I hack a vibrator it’s just fun. But if I can get to the back-end, I can blackmail the manufacturer.’
Access to the back-end, huh?
Trend Micro spokesman Raimund Genes might want to rephrase that the next time he talks to the press about dildo hackery.
Metro.co.uk also has a poll:
I voted “no.” So far, each of the three options has gotten about a third of the votes. I’m just glad they didn’t include “Donald Trump” as one of the answers.
Or maybe that was quite deliberate!
Wait. Dildos are just fake penises. So that’s wrong. And as far as I know vibrators are not internet connected. So now I have an excuse to go into Ann Summers for… Erm ….. More research…. That’s it! Purely for research purposes to debunk this article *Shifty eyes*
Night of the Living Dildos!
http://media.aintitcool.com/media/uploads/2013/horrorella/barbara1_big.jpg
Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin, yep, internet-connected vibrators are a thing. The singularity is near!
http://www.nerve.com/science/i-did-it-for-science-a-stranger-remotely-controlled-my-vibrator
“Coming up next on CSI: Cyber…”
@Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin
These things have become very advanced for some reason that completely eludes me: http://www.vibease.com/
Oh man and I was scared about hacking pacemakers.
http://motherboard.vice.com/read/hackers-killed-a-simulated-human-by-turning-off-its-pacemaker
*Throws money at weirwoodtreehugger* Make this movie! Just make it and don’t ask any questions! Lol 😀
The Fappening 2: Electric Boogaloo?
I think I’ll settle for the old-fashioned kind of vibrator, thanks. Maybe a nice steam-powered one.
David Futrelle, when you think you’ve gotten a hold of technology, it moves to the next step. I feel like such a luddite now. Too the Internet!!! *Whoosh*
This is TMI, but that’s actually kinda kinky.
How about a steampunk one?
Oh. I’m so relieved. I’m too ace for dildos. Safe from both front end and back end “hacking” 😛
The Internet of Things never ceases to amaze me with the types of things people connect to the web. And here I thought tweeting from your fridge was weird.
BTW, in my…*ahem*…research on this I actually almost considered a smart dildo I saw that does not appear to connect online but is designed to respond to your body. Sounds kind of neat but I don’t really have a need for it.
I was wondering why my dildo had so many pop-up ads lately.
Speaking of “hacking”, isn’t that basically what RedPillers do when they encounter a vagina?
Steampunk vibes? Will wonders never cease…
Also, the Brooklyn Bridge is up for auction!
@MisterShoebox
They’ve gone there. And that’s when I turned off the TV never to watch CSI: Cyber again.
http://gizmodo.com/csi-cyber-achieves-new-heights-of-overwrought-handwring-1742755094
I didn’t know that you use a dildo, David.
Hackers ‘could take over your dildo and make it go berserk’
That’s Champagne comedy.
“Night of the Living Dildos”: They’re coming for you, Barbara!
Ha! Joke’s on you. I get all my dildos by whittling them out of old wooden spoons. Take that, internet!
Did April Fool’s Day come early this year?
#LifeHack
This is why you shouldn’t keep your sensative information like passwords and pin numbers in your dildos, peeps. They aren’t very secure.