“So what’s the deal with the ladies, I mean, what the hell,” Sigmund Freud once famously asked. (I’m paraphrasing.)
Well, let’s say 97 years after he asked that question we men have finally been provided an answer, in the form of a comment in the Ask The Red Pill subreddit.
The topic at hand is “branch swinging,” which is Red Pill lingo for the notion that women generally prefer better boyfriends or husbands to worse boyfriends or husbands, causing them to sometimes swing to a higher branch, as it were, like the evil sexy monkeys they are.
Let’s watch Red Pill veteran oldredder lay down the Truth About Ladies:
Boom goes the dynamite. All your questions about women are now answered.
But to make sure you’ve got it, let me translate what Mr. oldredder is saying from Red Pillian into normal English:
Women are sometimes attracted to more than one dude at once, and so they’ll make sure to look all cute and stuff in the presence of these dudes so they can, you know, prepare these dudes to like them too. And if it turns out the coolest or best looking dude thinks she’s totally cute, SCORE! She grabs hold of his branch, as it were, and SWINGS herself up.
Oh, I forgot to mention the resources. Ladies are totally into guys with resources. Like coal. Ladies love coal. Seriously, guys, you can’t go wrong with coal.
You should probably start carrying a big bag of coal with you wherever you go, preferably with the word “COAL” written on the outside to make sure the ladies know that your bag is full of coal and not something that ladies hate like, you know, worms, or the complete discography of the band Rush, or guys that get advice from Red Pill Redditors?
Here I was, gathering all the wood, sheep and stone that I could, and all this time I should have been stockpiling on COAL? 🙁 “Settlers of Catan”, how could you lie to me about resource management?!? Oh well, at least I’ll be able to build several towns and those victory points will surely count for something…
Why yes, yes I am a boardgame geek, why do you ask? 😀
Boy, the MRAs really love their made-up vocabulary, don’t they? I guess it’s part of how they tell who is in their club.
I’m staring at the illustration wondering if it’s a normal-sized woman being held captive by a giant, or a miniature woman being held captive by a normal-sized man.
So when a lady leaves one of these asswipes for a partner who treats her like something other than shit, she isn’t acting like a rational human being who, like every other human being, would rather be in a good situation than a bad one.
Nope, she is just acting like a tree-swinging monkey.
Those grapes were super-sour, dudes. Take it from me.
Rare earth prices have skyrocketed over the last few months, better try those too.
Holmium, Ladies love holmium.
Women just want resources so they can open up trade with other civilizations. At least, that’s what Sid Meier taught me.
I love that phrase “Boom goes the dynamite,” and had forgotten about it 😀
AS the husband to a wife and the father of a daughter, I just want to dick-punch these losers so hard that I make sure they never get to influence a child. Day-Yum, is all I can say.
Well, now I know what to do if ever I find myself being Red Pillocked by a man. I’ll just swing to another branch, namely one occupied by a better man — alias a Blue Pill guy. Problem solved! Thanks again, Pillocks!
These guys have to describe the most normal and simple things in such a big, dramatic, jargon filled way, don’t they?
Sometimes you date someone and it doesn’t work out. So the relationship ends. Both parties typically move on and eventually find someone else to date.
It’s really not that big of a deal. It doesn’t need a special term. Nor is it something only women do. If women date multiple men over the course of a lifetime, obviously men must be dating multiple women over the course of their lifetimes.
Well, I’d gladly swing on as many branches as needed to get away from them. Hell, I would climb an 100-foot-tall tree with the ricketiest branches in the world if it meant I could avoid even a 20-second interaction with a Pillock.
Dude. Please. Iridium or GTFO.
The title of the post alone reminds me of conversations I’ve gotten into online where someone tries to “prove” me wrong by…showing a tweet by some rando.
It’s, like, why don’t you make your own argument instead of just pointing at someone else’s? Oh, right, I forgot – they’re incapable of having original thoughts…
Guys should have their paycheck printed on their T-shirts. Or a pic of their house in Monaco. Or their car. Then the ladies would know that they have bought the redpillar BS, and we would be able to run as far away from them as we could….
It’s almost like some weird version of a fairy tale romance. You’re supposed to know the one person that you’ll be with, without dating around to see who you’re more compatible with; you can’t take money into account, no matter how much of a deadbeat he is; and once you’re in a relationship, you should never leave the guy, no matter how bad things get.
If you based your view of relationships entirely on fairy tale tropes, you might come up with something like this. If you have even a little bit of experience with the real world, you know it doesn’t work like that.
@Lukas Xavier,
I think it’s more that these guys don’t think women should have any criteria for mate selection, because the choice of who pairs up with whom should be entirely in the hands of men. Ideally misogynistic men such as them, because nothing pisses off MRAs more than seeing women happy. They think a man should be able to point at a single woman and say “You. You’re mine” and she should have no choice but to go along with it.
Idk, some deranged billionaire named John told me that it was all about Beryllium. Maybe all those intrepid redditors should try it!
Off topic, but I just went out to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and CNN was playing in the living room. I heard a Trump supporter compare liberals pointing out that his violent rhetoric has encouraged his supporters to behave violently at rallies to people blaming rape victims for wearing a short skirt.
Oh look, more hypocrisy from the Red Pill. Women are horrible for “branch swinging”, but men are totally alpha for “spinning plates.”
In other news, I upped my manosphere repellent last night. I inadvertently rainbowed my hair. I was going for a blue dip dye, but my hair (even after being bleached) would not take up the blue. I still have a little bit of the red from the last time I dyed it, so in now goes from brown to red to blonde to slightly green at the ends. It was a happy accident and I love it!
I get the sense that neither the paychecks, houses, or cars of most redpillars would be all that impressive…
And I never fail to be impressed with the generativity of language, as I am certain that sentence had never been written before.
Women “prepare multiple men to have interest in them”? So in order not to be guilty of this, women should strive to look ugly and act horrible toward all men except one? That seems like an awful lot of work, switching back and forth like that, and what if no one’s informed us which one is The One?
No. Women who aren’t young, skinny but with large yet perky breasts, long haired, tattoo free, and femininely dressed are bad too because they make their boners sad.
There is no way for women to do womaning correctly.
New rule: breakups are not allowed, as this is a sign of degenerate “looking for something better” behavior also known as “branch swinging”.
If every woman you’ve ever been in a relationship with seems to want to leave you for someone else I don’t think it’s women who are the problem.
Personally, I look for unobtanium. That, and the longest road or the largest army.
I really dislike that term, “branch swinging”. It’s another bullshit variation on Briffault’s law. It piles heavy moral disapproval on women – and only women – for engaging in trivial behavior that men also do. Who doesn’t want the best deal from a relationship? Who wants to associate with a person who makes them feel bad?
But no, “branch swinging” is a unique and profound insight into the True Nature of Women. Feeemales! They’ll betray you! You objectify them, treat them with contempt, compare them to children, whinge non-stop about having to buy them dinner and Valentine’s Day flowers…then they reward you by running off with another guy who treats them better. Obviously they have no loyalty, the fickle creatures.
You can make any natural behavior sound bad. Cats? Always licking their hindquarters, the selfish, vain things. Birds? Attention whores. Fish? You make a tiny little splash, and they swim off someplace better. Jerks.