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This is a bit off-topic, I know, but I can’t help myself. Like everyone else who pays even the slightest attention to American politics, or at least that last Republican debate, I am both mystified and disgusted by that … thing … that appeared on Ted Cruz’s upper lip, then transferred itself to his lower lip, and ultimately into his mouth.
I grossed myself out a little just writing that sentence.
I have no great insight into what exactly was going on there, but we can take heart in the fact that the media is on the case:
Oh, and there’s plenty more where those come from.
I eagerly await the conspiracy theories that will inevitably arise to explain this incident. Hell, for all I know a whole new movement could arise from it — the Ted Cruz Booger Truther movement.
And I’m not even going to get into the whole teeth issue. I mean, I think we can all agree that the teeth in that screenshot above are not human teeth.
I’ll leave it to the Ted Cruz Booger Tooth Truther movement to figure out the details.
I’d just like to say Ew.
I’ll take “tonsil stone” for $800, Alex. He must have terrible breath.
Judging by those teeth, Cruz is either a plesiosaur or a Regenerator.
Ugh…I…ewww…why, Dave?
http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/puking_brian.gif
This seriously needed a trigger warning. Seriously. I’m squeamish as it is and will never be able to look at that man again.?
That was … horrible.
But – yeah, those teeth!
I realise it’s entirely out of order for a Brit to be critical of a (wealthy) American’s dental endowments, but he seriously looks as if the head is about to split in half, starting at the lips, and the mutant komodo dragon within to step outside.
I always thought his skin looked too tight and shiny to be real.
So that’s what that thing on his lips was – komodo dragon poisonous slaver.
Ugh. I’m so tired of this discussion. Why can’t we ever just talk about politics during these debates? It’s always about stupid shit like this. I don’t give a damn.
It’s not a booger. It’s freedom phlegm.
@kupo
I would normally agree, but the GOP primaries are literally only about this sort of thing. There’s nothing else to discuss.
I literally, actually, got the dry heaves even glancing at the news story headlines. I am still recovering.
And in other news, Ted Cruz committed autocannibalism.
Literally.
Definitive proof that he’s not only a lizard man, but also the zodiac killer.
Probably his soul trying to escape. Would explain why it looks so disgusting.
That booger was the least disgusting part of Ted Cruz. And now it’s gone.
Gross.
David Icke was right! Conspiracy!!11!!! REPTILOIDS!!!!11!1! Eleventy11!!1!
@Kupo: I’m with you – trivial. Plus every story like this is another excuse for horrible misogynistic comments to be made about Clinton’s appearance, because ‘people did it about Ted Cruz too, so it’s not sexist’.
(Note – this is nothing to do with liking Clinton, it’s about judging women politicians on their words.)
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants
I beg your acceptance of this elegant internet.
@Leftwingfox
*giggle snort*
And tiny.
@Moggie
Ya’ll are on a roll today. 😀
When will the candidates finally be settled upon? I don’t remember it being this much of a saga last time.
I probably shouldn’t have posted this. Or at least the Ted Cruz pic. I was just struck by how much news coverage there was of it. Yet also fascinated by it.
Sarah, I think you’re probably right about it being a tonsil stone.
I can watch fairly grisly medical videos, but tonsil stones gross me the hell out. As did watching that Cruz clip.
Ok, I censored the pic, for the sake of all those who haven’t seen this horror yet.
Oh god, Dave, I can still see the rest of his face though! 😀
@David
To clarify, I’m not frustrated with your coverage, as this is a site for mocking things. I’m frustrated with the US media and how every damn election they find some really stupid thing to focus on like the candidate who got all excited and yelled (Kerry?) or what Palin’s kids are up to or Michelle Obama planting an organic garden.
@Kupo you actually mean Howard Dean, MD 😉 even his wife agreed that, in retrospect, the scream was REALLY silly 🙂
There must be some part of human nature that’s drawn to gross, silly things. I was looking at that list of eleven (eleven!) news stories about Ted Cruz’s Great and Exciting Booger and feeling conteptuous… and then I realized that a couple of weeks ago I spent an hour reading the Amazon review page of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummy Bears* which someone had linked to here. So… yeah. Not so above it all.
*These have a sugar substitute that give many people explosive gas and diarrhea, and there’s a bunch of gross and oddly epic stories in the Amazon reviews – I guess it became somewhat of a meme.