Categories
alpha males beta males heartiste literal nazis men who should not ever be with women ever oppressed white men PUA racism

Pickup guru to Donald Trump: “When panties are in view don’t ask ‘Should I slow down?'”

Hey voters!
Hey voters!

The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive is on! If you haven’t already, please consider donating through the PayPal button below. Thanks!

Trouble in paradise? Odious racist pickup guru Heartiste is growing concerned about Donald Trump, his hero and the Great Orange White Hope of the internet’s Nazis, of both the ironic and non-ironic varieties.

Even though Trump has been boasting about his allegedly yuuuge penis, and picking on “little Marco” (Rubio) like a grade-school bully, Heartiste frets that Trump’s opportunistic flip-flops on immigration and his half-assed disavowal of former KKK Super Grand Whatchamacallit David Duke are making him look a little bit, gulp, BETA.

If Trump is beginning to play defense, at this early stage, he risks losing his lead. …

Any feints Trump makes towards the Nation-Wrecking Alliance, such as support (however tepid) for H-1Bs, or constant disavowals of some internet backwater weirdo because media cucks harass him about it every minute, will simply embolden his foes to strike at him twice as hard and four times as often.

The only way to reinflate Trump’s deflating alphatude? By using the MAD SKILLZ of the internet’s alleged pickup masters:

So my Game advice to Trump is this: Politics is pickup without the bodily fluids.

I will give you a moment to cringe before continuing.

The master seducer doesn’t backtrack at the bedroom door.

And another cringe moment. Seriously, take all the cringing time you need as you make it through the rest of Heartiste’s advice.

Keep up the Zero Fucks Given nationalist populism charm assault, and don’t disappoint the swooning voters at the electoral door. Carry them across the threshold. They want you to take them.

Does Heartiste want Trump to date rape the electorate?

Sure, whisper a few sweetly romantic nothings in their ears, show a little of your beta softie side, but when panties are in view don’t sit up and ask “Should I slow down?”. Slip a finger under the waistband. The seduction isn’t over until the Trump voter sighs.

The Heartiste quote isn’t done until the reader throws up a little in their mouth — a point I think most of us probably got to even before the Trump voter panties made their appearance in Heartiste’s creepy metaphor.

Enjoy the rest of your Saturday!

56 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

That Donald Trump has been accused of sexual harassment or rape by more than one woman and has a bonus creepy and incestual obsession with his daughter just adds to the layers of ick here.

http://i.imgur.com/tZOS8.gif

http://static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Just+back+away+slowly+and+runnnnnnn_c189d9_3839276.gif

http://i.imgur.com/mlTjkYd.gif

Ashara Payne
Ashara Payne
8 years ago

For GoT viewers:
http://youtu.be/I0tE6T-ecmg

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

Trump (whose closest adviser is his Orthodox Jewish daughter, Ivanka Trump) , Heartiste (who himself is Jewish), Roosh, Elam & all the other Nazi-appreciating manospherians have a Game Plan:

1. Throw various types of demonstrably false, self-serving, self-contradictory, selfish, low, unwittingly comedic sh*t at the American psyche.

2. See what sticks.

3. Repeat what sticks.

4. Watch the money and support pour in.

So far they’ve enjoyed some success.

Less enjoyable to them: the backlash.

Roosh is sad that his “invasion” of Australia–however hypothetical–was foiled.

Elam is humiliated to be one of the top 10 Houstonians that make being a Houstonian embarrassing.

Let’s make Trump regret his flirtation with a philosophy and rituals that attempt to dehumanize human beings. Let’s make him loathe the very remembrance of his “presidential run,” bitterly and ceaselessly, for the rest of his natural days.

Three Snakes
8 years ago

If straight women fangirled over Bernie Sanders in the same unabashed erotic way, he’d be using that as Exhibit A of why women are too immature to vote.

Double standards are usual for these people. Because applying the same standards to themselves would mean acknowledging that they’re as human as their “inferiors”. Of course that is anathema to them. That is why they don’t think their double standards are hypocrisy.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

Let’s make Trump regret his flirtation with a philosophy and rituals that attempt to dehumanize human beings. Let’s make him loathe the very remembrance of his “presidential run,” bitterly and ceaselessly, for the rest of his natural days.

Re “for the rest of his natural days,” my boyfriend says, “Why stop there?”

I like a man who thinks big!

Let’s make the Great Orange Clown regret his folly in this life and in whatever afterlife may be assigned to him.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@Three Snakes

[A]pplying the same standards to themselves would mean acknowledging that they’re as human as their “inferiors”.

I believe that you’re on to something!

Zatar
Zatar
8 years ago

Just when I thought Trump supporters couldn’t get any grosser they lowered the bar again. For those keeping track the bar is now so low that it has passed the point of being subterranean, come out the other side of earth, left the planets atmosphere and is approaching a new galaxy.

weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

Zatar,
Your comment reminded me of this Ghost World quote

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_unt6OCTujXM/TKTOTSngwOI/AAAAAAAAAo4/W-mapRMaWYU/s1600/gw.png

I think that sums up Trump’s candidacy pretty well.

Lady Mondegreen
8 years ago

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants

He’s practically drooling over Trump being the second coming of Christian Grey…isn’t Heartiste himself one of those selfsame voters who he claims are fantasizing about being carried into the bedroom by a strong authoritarian daddy candidate and “seduced”?

Yes he is. Funny how he doesn’t see it, huh!? But then, if they had self-awareness they wouldn’t be part of the manosphere.

Authoritarians are deeply frightened people who attempt to hide behind bluster and braggadoccio.

Get enough of them together and they can be mighty dangerous.

Fabe
Fabe
8 years ago
GiJoel
GiJoel
8 years ago

It has been 0 days since I have felt murderous rage.

Skiriki
Skiriki
8 years ago

holy shit and here i thought that nothing can top trumpmeister bragging about his dick in a presidential debate and yet here we are i have lost my ability to use caps and punctuation because nothing in this world matters anymore all rules of society are broken and so is my brain wheres brain bleach i seriously need some right now

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

Sure, whisper a few sweetly romantic nothings in their ears, show a little of your beta softie side, but when panties are in view don’t sit up and ask “Should I slow down?”. Slip a finger under the waistband. The seduction isn’t over until the Trump voter sighs.

And JudgyBitch is saying that women shouldn’t, uh, vote. What a travesty it would be for a woman not to “vote” for the “master seducer”!

But wait–what’s this about Donald Trump having a “beta” side? Ooh, these manospherians have such nuanced, complex discussions! My female brain is spinning!

Jamesworkshop
Jamesworkshop
8 years ago

I have to ask, why/when did America become so anti-immigration, when it used to consider that fact to be a feather in its cap.

Wasn’t the idea that people would move to America to better their quality of life, a sure fire sign that the American project was working.

Who knows, maybe I’m wrong about all of that.

EJ (The Other One)
8 years ago

Dear James “Heartiste” Weidmann,

I think it’s cute that you’re writing this. I mean, quite besides your adorable puppy-like desperation to get your idol to notice you, you’re also labouring under the belief that Trump either needs or wants your advice. This is somewhat puzzling to those of us who’ve been paying attention to politics, but I realise that the fantasies of seeing yourself in a Hugo Boss uniform may be overwhelming your better judgement.

Who are we kidding, you have no better judgement and we both know it.

Your use of date rape metaphors is less charming, but I suppose that if all you have is a hammeradvice on how to commit date rape, then everything looks like a naildate rape. I can’t get over how weak that makes you seem: lacking the intelligence or insight to grasp the study of polling data, you have to fall back on largely meaningless metaphors that don’t translate out of your own field. Is this honestly all you know of life, Weidmann? Is this what your vaunted white race has come to?

Trump will win or lose by his own hand. The only thing that you can do is to be just another voter in the crowd, too poor to matter to him except en masse. You’re not a guru or a spokesman any longer, and your attempts to be seen as one just look pathetic.

Come November, when Clinton does this to Trump, I hope you’ll have the good grace to keep this comment up forever as a reminder to yourself of how small you ultimately are. You’re a squalid, sordid little man who will never accomplish anything and I hope you cry yourself to sleep with that realisation.

Also, go fuck yourself with a chainsaw, you rapist, racist piece of shit.

Hugs and kisses,
– EJ

snork maiden
8 years ago

I would love it if Trump would actually follow this advice, because I’m getting seriously worried he’s going to win the nomination.

EJ (The Other One)
8 years ago

Ack, the link doesn’t work. It was meant to be to this gif:

http://badsentinel.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Tractor-crushing-car.gif

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
8 years ago

Hopefully, America will respond to this “seduction” attempt by dumping a beer on the wig-clad creep.

Metaphorically, of course.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
8 years ago

@EJ

Erm, “Fuck yourself with a chainsaw” is really not appropriate here. ^^; Otherwise, excellent rant.

EJ (The Other One)
8 years ago

Thanks for calling me on that, M. You’re right. Apologies, everyone.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
8 years ago

I knew I shouldn’t click on this post. I knew I shouldn’t and I went and clicked anyway and now I can’t unsee what I just read and holy crap the pua-trump combo, it’s like combining an emetic with a laxative. Only worse.

anon
anon
8 years ago

“constant disavowals of some internet backwater weirdo”

Isn’t it amazing when they’re on the cusp of self awareness.

Unfortunately it put its head back in the hole so we have to face another 7 years of unrepentant douchebaggery.

Nequam
Nequam
8 years ago

@Jamesworkshop: the US has gone through cycles of (comparatively) open immigration and belligerent nativism for most of its history.

Bina
8 years ago

Heartiste (who himself is Jewish)

Wait, what?

If true, that’s hilarious.

I may have to dig for those old emo-kid-haired photos of him, too, so all the ladies see what an impressive specimen they’re getting when this sexual equivalent of an old-time door-to-door junk salesman comes knocking…

Leah3
Leah3
8 years ago

@Jamesworkshop

@zoon echon logon

I hate to (kinda) side with Heartiste on something here (don’t worry, plenty of…eh, SANE, people do as well, like the NYT and Sanders, believe it or not), but H-1B visa fraud is a huge problem. It’s not that attracting skilled foreign labor is itself bad (although Heartiste probably thinks that), it’s that the program is often used to displace American workers with cheap foreign labor.

The NYT has a kind of running investigation of the problem. I highly encourage you to check it out:

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/11/us/large-companies-game-h-1b-visa-program-leaving-smaller-ones-in-the-cold.html

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/11/06/us/11visa-listy.html

Here’s more info on Disney’s notorious firing of workers and asking them to train their replacements (btw, Rubio sided with Disney over his constituents in the matter):

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/26/us/lawsuit-claims-disney-colluded-to-replace-us-workers-with-immigrants.html

Sanders himself has expressed skepticism of the program and if it’s abused. He even (although I can’t find it now) co-sponsored a bipartisan letter to Obama looking into H-1B visa fraud:

http://www.computerworld.com/article/2916827/it-outsourcing/bernie-sanders-h-1b-skeptic.html

Unlike Heartiste, I support the program, provided it’s not abused (as does Sanders).

However, @Jamesworkshop, I will definitely look at that video; I just can’t at the moment.