Return of Kings imagines our dystopian “sexual future” and it’s hilarious

Sorta OT – TIL that Monterey Bay is turning into the Return of Kings, but for otters. From “The Other Side of Otters”:

Sea otters are polygynous; stronger males establish territories with high numbers of females and work to exclude other sexually mature males. These excluded males gather in so-called “male areas”, denied the opportunity for contact with females. It’s a situation that may have been exacerbated by a change in the demographics of Monterey Bay’s sea otters. For reasons that are still far from clear, overall mortality rate in the otter population is increasing, and disproportionately affecting females. As a consequence, an even greater number of mature males are denied mating opportunities, possibly causing sexual encounters to be more aggressive when they do occur. And those males that remain denied an opportunity to mate take out their frustrations on the hapless young harbor seals, an interspecies interaction that has been known to take place, albeit with less dramatic consequences, in other marine mammals.

So, who’s working on a screenplay about the revolt of the sexbots? Kind of like The Stepford Wives meets Westworld?

There kind of is one already. The TV show Humans is about robots becoming sentient and starting to decide that they don’t want to be subservient to people. They aren’t all sexbots, but the baddest ass robot is. She was in a robot brothel and revolted and escaped when a client wanted her to act out a sadistic abuse and rape scenario.

Milo just asked the White House Press Secretary for his goddamned blue checkmark. Seriously.

Oops. Should have refreshed. Does it even count as ninja’d if I’m five minutes behind?

There kind of is one already. The TV show Humans is about robots becoming sentient and starting to decide that they don’t want to be subservient to people. They aren’t all sexbots, but the baddest ass robot is. She was in a robot brothel and revolted and escaped when a client wanted her to act out a sadistic abuse and rape scenario.

I remember that show as well as that episode being mentioned here before. At the end didn’t the sexbot make a speech to the wives of her clients telkling them all the horrible things men do to her and other sexbots is what they actually want to do to their wives but can’t?

I dunno…watching the scene where they show the ‘sanitizing’ process those sexbots went through between each…use…you kind of start feeling like maybe things would be better if they were simply a toaster. And the only things that one expects from their the toaster is that it properly toasts stuff. Like bread, bagels, frozen waffles..

“No penises in the toaster damnit! That’s not what the slots are for!”

“If you put your penis in the toaster one more time you’re going to regret it.”

*obviously penis-haver has to push their luck and again puts penis into toaster* *Wakes up in hospital, cauterized stump where penis once was, and on the bedside table a bill and a note from the toaster that says…”I warned you, and you did it yet again. No more toaster and no more penis, when you eventually come up with funds to start actual work on the idea of designing yourself and all the other moronic toaster-fuckers a Robo-penis because vitamin supplements, male performance enhancers, and skeevy sex tourism e-books aren’t selling like they used to… just get a blow up doll and a fleshlight, because even a multi-setting robo-penis attatched to…you guys…doesn’t do it for women or sentient appliances.”**

Presto – with good sets, great casting, and the right director/producer you’ve got at least an hour of program once all the commercials are added in. An hour program of sentient toasters, manurespherian skeeviness with a bonus invention sure to be praised as marketing genius, the robo-dick. I’m going to go spend some time face down and totally motionless on the sofa for…a while.

Miss Andry, bless you. You made my day with that link to Milo crapping his pants at the White House about losing his checkmark! Lol

Has it occurred to anyone that the males who write articles like this are desperate to get a female to talk to them or take notice of them? And this is one effective way of getting attention?

@DS

http://i.imgur.com/gmQQTOw.gif

Has it occurred to anyone that the males who write articles like this are desperate to get a female to talk to them or take notice of them? And this is one effective way of getting attention?

This is basically just the grown up version of when we tell little girls that if a boy picks on them or harasses them it means they like her. I don’t like it because it minimizes misogyny as something that’s no big deal. That men just do because they want attention and are too socially inept gain it in healthy ways. It puts the responsibility on women to try and figure out the correct way to handle men and try to suss out their hidden motives. It takes the responsibility off men to not act like douchebags.

I don’t think the men of the manosphere would spend so much time writing about how terrible women are if they weren’t really misogynists. Whether they want attention or not, I don’t really care. It’s not about them as people and want they want. It’s about countering these misogynistic ideas. Also, it’s just fun to mock them. So there’s that.

Previous generations (mine and older) are purer than the driven snow and have only ever had one cock in their lives.

They’re in for a surprise.

I really like that Gawker article, because they had a whole thread of comments about that sandwich bullshit we covered here a while ago.

Hint: They were just as confused as we were.

I know it was supposed to be insulting, but calling tattoos and piercings “Graffiti and Shrapnel” makes me think of, like, a comic book from the 80s that was supposed to be the American answer to Dirty Pair.