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Return of Kings imagines our dystopian “sexual future” and it’s hilarious

The sexual future that scares Return of Kings readers the most

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Oh dear. Apparently the women of the western world are having a lot of sex. And we all know where that leads, right? THE END OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION.

Over on Roosh’s equally horrifying and risible Return of Kings, Max Roscoe (a self-described  “aspiring philosopher king”) sets forth his vision of our apocalyptic “sexual future.”

Already deeply enmeshed in a world of “financial insolvency, moral weakness, social instability, destruction of the traditional family, and political corruption,” Roscoe warns we are edging ever closer to some sort of Mad Max future, only with much fatter women.

Expect a world in which we have

fewer freedoms, less economic opportunity, a weaker currency, a declining moral compass, more hypergamy, slut acceptance, and the pervasiveness of masculine, tattooed up, large, bossy women.  

Even worse, Roscoe warns:

If the trends of feminism continue, society faces a future with loud, shrill, fat, manly, neon colored, sexualized women full of shrapnel and graffiti.

Wait, didn’t you just say that already? Apparently our dystopian future won’t have copy editors.

And it will be a world in which piercings are referred to as “shrapnel,” tattoos as “graffiti.”

Anyway, after warning us about these brightly colored, shrapnel-filled fatties — who bear more that a little bit of a resemblance to the contemporary feminist stereotypes I wrote about in my last post — Roscoe paints a picture of today’s sexual landscape, filled with young women who

are so free and loose with their bodies that they become physically aged and degraded, not to mention losing the ability to pair bond with a life partner.

Yep, Red Pill “science” has proven that when women have contact with more than one penis in their lifetime it turns them into a sort of female version of Dorian Gray, only without that painting in the attic. Meanwhile, men who sleep with lots of women remain eternally young.

If you meet a 25-year-old woman today, she has likely performed more degrading and perverse sex acts than a married woman of a generation or two prior completed in her entire lifetime. If we consider the cases of sexting, camwhoring, slutification, Dubai-whoring, pre-marital sex, lack of shame or self confidence, and project a few generations in the future, we have a very scary society.

If women don’t watch out, Roscoe warns, they could well end up “sexually used up, perhaps before even reaching their teenage years.”

Uh, before they hit the age of thirteen!?

These guys spend way too much of their time thinking about 12-year-olds having sex.

In this dystopian future, all these sex-having people may end up forgetting what gender they are.

Indeed, what do the sexes even mean at that point? Will we see an increase in trannies and gay sex and things that even today are too taboo? Bestiality? If it’s only about the physical orgasm, then it seems these would do the job as well. Forming a family will be impossible.

I dunno, this guy and his dog bride seem to be making it work (and by “making it work” I mean they managed to get their man-dog wedding covered by the Daily Mail).

Not exactly a designer wedding dress there.
Not exactly a designer wedding dress there.

Roscoe, who sadly offers no opinions about man-dog weddings, worries that if current sexy trends continue the human race will either stop making babies, or will be transformed into

a matriarchal system where the government, forced to provide things a husband typically would, must rely on the labors of men to obtain resources needed to replace the missing husbands.

So in conclusion, women better let dudes like Roscoe and Roosh boss them around, or we’ll go back to being monkeys, or something.

The bottom line is that if women do not have their actions and behaviors controlled by men, then it is no exaggeration to say that we are facing the end of civilized society. Masculinity is the natural state of affairs throughout history. We are only attempting to reset things to their natural order, before feminism literally turns us until [sic] animals again.

Animals, you say? Wall of Voodoo had some interesting thoughts on what might happen if we all suddenly turned into animals. And frankly, this song makes more sense than any of Roscoe’s weird and creepy speculations.

 

 

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DoctorWorm
DoctorWorm
5 years ago

@SSoU: Hey! You’re not allowed to graciously admit to not knowing something and accept someone else’s viewpoint! That’s not how arguing on the Internet works! (Seriously, though, it’s a thorny issue and I’m always pleasantly surprised to see actually intelligent debaters on the Internet.)

sparkalipoo
sparkalipoo
5 years ago

lack of shame or self confidence

the first time I read this I thought they were saying that the problem was that women would stop feeling shamed and start feeling self confident

Cassandra
Cassandra
5 years ago

I am also very curious about Dubai-whoring.

Leah3
Leah3
5 years ago

“Hypergamy.”

Ugh.

UGGHHH.

“Hypergamy,” ie women marrying up, is *not* the current trend (although it was in the glorious mythologized past). Assortative mating (or people marrying others like them, including similar educational background and class) is the new trend. No, really, have a look yourself:

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/23/upshot/rise-in-marriages-of-equals-and-in-division-by-class.html?_r=0

Mish
Mish
5 years ago

@DoctorWorm, I know right? SSoU, Snowberry, and IP were all so damn civilised about it. Almost as if it wasn’t a smackdown contest but a complex issue that requires care and nuance …..
What next, I wonder? 🙂

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

And it will be a world in which piercings are referred to as “shrapnel,” tattoos as “graffiti.”

Definition of graffiti:

writing or drawings scribbled, scratched, or sprayed illicitly on a wall or other surface in a public place.
“the walls were covered with graffiti”
synonyms: street art, spray-painting, inscriptions, drawings; More
verb
1.
write or draw graffiti on (something).
“he and another artist graffitied an entire train”

Don’t you love it when manospherians outright admit that women are public things for their consumption and that them doing things to their own bodies that they don’t personally approve of gets their underoos in a twist because “You’re my property, so you can’t damage yourself like that and ruin your value!”

lack of shame or self confidence,

Funny how RoKers conflate the two, and think they’re the same thing. Women’s shame is self-confidence, but self-confidence for them, and not women. If you’re ashamed of your body, that makes you easier to control, and thus they have more confidence that they can control a woman. And if she has a shred of self-confidence, that is to be stomped out immediately, because then she’ll start thinking she has rights and shit.

Tell you what, Mr.I-Fancy-Myself-A-Philosopher-Even-A-King-Of-Philosophers-Even-Though-I-Can’t-Philosophy-My-Way-Out-Of-A-Wet-Paper-Bag-With-My-BioTroofs, how about you do this:

Go to Arizona.

Find a large, open desert.

Drop your pants.

And sit on the nearest cactus. The bigger the better.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

Masculinity is the natural state of affairs throughout history.

Max Roscoe, you are just terrible at thinking. Consequently, you are just terrible at writing.

Dude, there’s not one part of me that’s male. And I am 100 percent natural.

Oh, wait–you mean it’s the patriarchy that’s natural? Throughout all time?

Well, this woman pointed out your error. So you might like to think that you’re (at least pretty close to) infallible, but you’re hardly that.

And consider this, Max Roscoe: Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown of philospher-king.

When the people (more than half of whom are women) lead, the kings will sh*t their pants.

Be careful what you aspire to!

Leah3
Leah3
5 years ago

Also, regarding the “natural order of things:”

A. Naturalistic fallacy

B. Basic biology. The process of evolution is a natural, undeniable fact about the way the world works. The structure that evolution produces is not. The world looks a lot different from the way it did 100,000 or 1,000 or 100 years ago. If women are selecting for kinder, more gentle mates (as has been suggested) because, you know, that’s more advantageous than being a burly he-man who can fight off a bear, there’s nothing wrong with that. These guys are ignoring the natural order of things.

(Did I just commit the naturalistic fallacy in point B? I guess you could argue that I did, since I’m saying it’s natural for human values to evolve and we should accept the structure that’s evolving. But I think the point of the naturalistic fallacy is “Is does not imply ought,” i.e. the laws of tomorrow might not be the laws of today, which in the case of human psychology–if it is evolutionarily based–is certainly the case, and also the argument I was making.)

In short, Max Roscoe is no philosopher king. BUT I AM! (kidding)

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

We are only attempting to reset things to their natural order, before feminism literally turns us until [sic] animals again.

Wait, did I miss humans evolving out of the animal kingdom?! Damn, I felt groggy this morning and was wondering if I’d overslept, but I didn’t think it was that long.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

If you meet a 25-year-old woman today, she has likely performed more degrading and perverse sex acts than a married woman of a generation or two prior completed in her entire lifetime. If we consider the cases of sexting, camwhoring, slutification, Dubai-whoring, pre-marital sex, lack of shame or self confidence, and project a few generations in the future, we have a very scary society.

So, Max Roscoe, if the women you hope will be victims of your pickup “artistry” have read your “philosophy,” that would seriously interfere with your (cough, cough) game.

Integrity: No room for it in the manosphere.

katz
5 years ago

Wait, did I miss humans evolving out of the animal kingdom?!

We did when the first man invented partying and became a fun guy.

Leah3
Leah3
5 years ago

@Kat

Seriously, the whole PUA hatred of feminism despite the fact that feminism makes casual sex possible (no double standards; no slut for her, stud for him–at least in theory) is truly bizarre.

Social Justice Atheist
Social Justice Atheist
5 years ago

It really shows what they think of men when a girl or woman is “corrupted” by having lots of sex with men/even touching a penis. (Except theirs, of course.)

Social Justice Atheist
Social Justice Atheist
5 years ago

On another note, I’m really glad I have facial piercings and unnaturally dyed hair. (Plus *gasp!* a tattoo, even though it’s just a little basic cat tattoo on my shoulder) I’m sure any PUA or redpillock would vomit and run away at the mere sight of me, considering I have cheek piercings, spiderbites, a monroe, and a septum. Plus a slutty, slutty belly ring. And a bright pink and black afro.

Also the fact that I’m, horror of horrors, non-white and a fatty. Makin’ manurespherians run for cover since ’97!

I’m not sad about this.

xthetenth
xthetenth
5 years ago

Apologies if it’s been made before but the pair bonding thing brings to mind the delightful image of puas very deeply angry at the middle of the periodic table, and even that slutty oxygen. Why isn’t every atom a good hydrogen.

JoeB
JoeB
5 years ago

The Dorian Gray mention reminded me that it might have been someone here that turned me on to BetterMyths (his retelling of that is my current fav) so thanks if it was one of y’all.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

@Imaginary Petal:

Obviously the only acceptable number of legs is three.

Ah yes. I’ll need to remember that, next time I’m traveling to Thebes.

There is also the Riddle of the Sphincter: What types with two hands in the morning, and one hand at night?

Dodom
Dodom
5 years ago

I notice that the kind of people who believe that gender roles are rooted in immutable biological facts are always loudly complaining that women are masculine… that biology is not actually catering to their argument.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

@xthetenth – If these guys were chemical elements, they’d be chlorine, furiously trying to rip electrons away from every other element. And then pretending to be Noble Gases Going Their Own Way online.

katz
5 years ago

Carbon is obviously the sluttiest element. Double and triple bonds.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Look at how those carbon atoms are riding the hydrogen carousal.

http://www.chemeddl.org/resources/TSTS/McMahon/McMahonImages/McMahon9thru12/McMahon9-12carbon.gif

Whores!

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

And once again, the argument that these guys makes boils down to “Women are having sex with men who aren’t ME!”

Zyrusticae
Zyrusticae
5 years ago

Just wanted to state for the record that I found everything about this article absolutely hilarious. It (by which I mean RoK)’s so devoid of rational thought and anything resembling actual logic that it easily doubles around on itself and becomes the utter nonsense that they so fear will inundate this ill-defined future.

And all because they can’t, for whatever reason, see women as human beings and not, um, baby-making slaves or whatever it is we’re supposed to be to them. So many of their problems could just be solved with that one simple revelation. Alas, it is not meant to be. Such a shame.

Mortarius
Mortarius
5 years ago

“If the trends of feminism continue, society faces a future with loud, shrill, fat, manly, neon colored, sexualized women full of shrapnel and graffiti.”

WHICH SOUNDS BAD ASS BY THE WAY

seriously I don’t see how any of these things could be a flaw for a woman today. Loud is the only actual negative trait there, but assuming you mean loud compared to how women are socialised to be quiet/deferential I think being loud is a good trait for any woman to have.

Also Full of Shrapnel and Graffiti sounds way more punk than Tattoos and Piercings so good job making these women sound even COOLER.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

Haha, uranium hit the wall and now it’s decaying. I bet it wishes now it had settled down with that nice silicon (valley) atom during the Big Bang.

@WWTH – And look at all the beta orbiters around those nuclei. Atoms are misandry!

EverythingIsRidiculous
EverythingIsRidiculous
5 years ago

Where can I buy a ‘Slut Acceptance’ coffee mug? This needs to become a movement.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

If the trends of feminism continue, society faces a future with loud, shrill, fat, manly, neon colored, sexualized women full of shrapnel and graffiti.

Translation: “How can we get any pleasure out of ruining women if they’re already ruined?”

This guy sounds terrified. Run! Run for your lives! It’s an army of loud neon sexualized pinatas! They’re going to rain down shrapnel and graffiti on all the philosopher kings!

Ashara Payne
Ashara Payne
5 years ago

Notice how it’s the current generation of women aged 25. Previous generations (mine and older) are purer than the driven snow and have only ever had one cock in their lives.
But would they date a woman of the previous generation? Utter madness! Never mind that I have more men under 40 messaging me on dating sites than I do older men, we are too old and past the wall to even contemplate. Ew, women over 25? No-one wants to fuck them! My boner no likey. It wants firm trim bodies.

They’re just envious that they aren’t their fathers and grandfathers.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

Maybe it’s today’s combination of having a fever and playing Resident Evil, but “Women full of shrapnel and graffiti” just sounds like a description of one of those exploding zombies to me.

Which is pretty awesome.

BritterSweet
5 years ago

@ SFHC or that One Dangerous Zombie.

Ashara Payne
Ashara Payne
5 years ago

@ Kevin
I wonder if the MRAs would also include heterosexual men being anally raped by a man in their definition of rape. Enquiring minds want to know…

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Social Justice Atheist

It really shows what they think of men when a girl or woman is “corrupted” by having lots of sex with men/even touching a penis. (Except theirs, of course.)

Actually, no. If a guy follows the Orthodox Double Standard, his penis will corrupt any woman he has sex with outside of marriage. So he will sleep with a desirable woman but not marry her.

And no matter what he does, he will remain a Gentleman (when it suits his purposes).

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

Poor manospherians!

They are completely inadequate at running their own lives, so they seek to run women’s lives.

They are doomed to failure, defeated before they begin.

So they redouble their efforts at making women their zombies.

But we are not zombies!

Sadface.

Maybe . . . maybe the sexbots will be their zombies. Maybe manospherians will gain a reason to live.

pimale
pimale
5 years ago

Thanks to all of you. I was having a craptastic night but reading this thread made me smile.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

@Kat

They’d better hope whoever is busy inventing their sexbots doesn’t make them too sentient. Otherwise they’ll be in quite the pickle once all the sexbots rise up against the manuresphere and crush them in battle. Sexbots don’t care if an arm or a leg is ripped off, they can reattach those and you can bet they’ll be PISSED AS ALL GET OUT if that happens, there will be no sexing the sexbots, no sandwiches, only DEATH AND DESTRUCTION…for their oppressors.

Not that anyone here has to worry, just don’t treat your sexbot like a toaster you fuck and mistreat. Alrighty, I think I’ve covered the necessities on the sexbot issue.

I’m gonna go play the blankie game with my dog, because brain bleach needed.

EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

@Ashara Payne:
Trigger warning for homophobia and rape.

I’ve seen people claim that man-on-man rape will instantly and without fail turn the victim gay; and indeed that this is where gay people come from. The same sources also generally claim that it was the victim’s fault because no man would get raped unless he were already gay.

Evidently man-on-man rape is so potent that it can travel back in time and turn the victim gay before it occurred, thus becoming its own cause.

proudfootz
proudfootz
5 years ago

So, who’s working on a screenplay about the revolt of the sexbots? Kind of like The Stepford Wives meets Westworld?

Robjec
Robjec
5 years ago

I would just like to say that after studying Roman and Greece for the last year, so not the best base but a pretty good one.

Traditionally marriage was about statues and inheritance. Men and women would both sleep with others outside of marriage who they loved, and in many cases try not to get pregnant from those relationships. Laws about adultery were centered around this and required proof, and both men and women were punished for it, for it was seen as stealing inheritance.

What I’m saying is relationships have not traditionaly been about love, that is a modern idea, and the idea of sleeping with others while married got it’s taboo for economic not emotional reasons.

Also our idea of marriage is pretty new in itself. That was the traditional model. And these mra types would of hated it, because it forced you to take care of your children a lot more strictly then modern laws. Cases of divorce would also of been much stricteron caring for your ex wife then modern laws.

Basically the people pining for traditional marriage don’t know what it is. :p

Nequam
Nequam
5 years ago

@EJ Thanks (I think) for reminding me of Anne McCaffrey’s infamous “tent peg” theory.

zesty
zesty
5 years ago

I’m a biochemist and that image of the misandric carbon atoms just made my day. 😀

zesty
zesty
5 years ago

*Misandrist*, even. Is that how it’s spelt? Sorry.

Lukas Xavier
Lukas Xavier
5 years ago

Cassandra:

I am also very curious about Dubai-whoring.

I suspect it means “having sex with men who aren’t white”.

VioletBeauregarde
VioletBeauregarde
5 years ago

Roscoe, sweetie, we ARE animals…like it or not! If the only two choices are this *SEXUAL DYSTOPIA!!!!* or bowing down to MRAssholes like Roosh the Douche and his buddies, then I say bring on the neon-glowing, shrill, manly, slutty, tattooed and pierced fatties.

@ EverythingIsRidiculhous: Put me down for a Slut Acceptance mug too! Please?

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

@Kat, @Social Justice Atheist

It really shows what they think of men when a girl or woman is “corrupted” by having lots of sex with men/even touching a penis. (Except theirs, of course.)

Actually, no. If a guy follows the Orthodox Double Standard, his penis will corrupt any woman he has sex with outside of marriage. So he will sleep with a desirable woman but not marry her.

And no matter what he does, he will remain a Gentleman (when it suits his purposes).

I was just going to say the same thing.
The Madonna/Whore Complex is a thing for a reason.

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

@wwth – Jesus, throw out an NSFW warning next time you put up an image like that.

So dirty.

Bakunin
Bakunin
5 years ago

Also OT but funny, Milo complained about his blue check at a White House press conference.

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

@proudfootz – PROUDFEET!

VioletBeauregarde
VioletBeauregarde
5 years ago

and even that slutty oxygen. Why isn’t every atom a good hydrogen.

Don’t forget that Jezebel fluoride…whatever fluoride wants, fluoride gets

WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
5 years ago

@EverythingIsRidiculous

Is it bad that I read that as “Slut Apocalypse” at first?