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Return of Kings imagines our dystopian “sexual future” and it’s hilarious

The sexual future that scares Return of Kings readers the most

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Oh dear. Apparently the women of the western world are having a lot of sex. And we all know where that leads, right? THE END OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION.

Over on Roosh’s equally horrifying and risible Return of Kings, Max Roscoe (a self-described  “aspiring philosopher king”) sets forth his vision of our apocalyptic “sexual future.”

Already deeply enmeshed in a world of “financial insolvency, moral weakness, social instability, destruction of the traditional family, and political corruption,” Roscoe warns we are edging ever closer to some sort of Mad Max future, only with much fatter women.

Expect a world in which we have

fewer freedoms, less economic opportunity, a weaker currency, a declining moral compass, more hypergamy, slut acceptance, and the pervasiveness of masculine, tattooed up, large, bossy women.  

Even worse, Roscoe warns:

If the trends of feminism continue, society faces a future with loud, shrill, fat, manly, neon colored, sexualized women full of shrapnel and graffiti.

Wait, didn’t you just say that already? Apparently our dystopian future won’t have copy editors.

And it will be a world in which piercings are referred to as “shrapnel,” tattoos as “graffiti.”

Anyway, after warning us about these brightly colored, shrapnel-filled fatties — who bear more that a little bit of a resemblance to the contemporary feminist stereotypes I wrote about in my last post — Roscoe paints a picture of today’s sexual landscape, filled with young women who

are so free and loose with their bodies that they become physically aged and degraded, not to mention losing the ability to pair bond with a life partner.

Yep, Red Pill “science” has proven that when women have contact with more than one penis in their lifetime it turns them into a sort of female version of Dorian Gray, only without that painting in the attic. Meanwhile, men who sleep with lots of women remain eternally young.

If you meet a 25-year-old woman today, she has likely performed more degrading and perverse sex acts than a married woman of a generation or two prior completed in her entire lifetime. If we consider the cases of sexting, camwhoring, slutification, Dubai-whoring, pre-marital sex, lack of shame or self confidence, and project a few generations in the future, we have a very scary society.

If women don’t watch out, Roscoe warns, they could well end up “sexually used up, perhaps before even reaching their teenage years.”

Uh, before they hit the age of thirteen!?

These guys spend way too much of their time thinking about 12-year-olds having sex.

In this dystopian future, all these sex-having people may end up forgetting what gender they are.

Indeed, what do the sexes even mean at that point? Will we see an increase in trannies and gay sex and things that even today are too taboo? Bestiality? If it’s only about the physical orgasm, then it seems these would do the job as well. Forming a family will be impossible.

I dunno, this guy and his dog bride seem to be making it work (and by “making it work” I mean they managed to get their man-dog wedding covered by the Daily Mail).

Not exactly a designer wedding dress there.
Not exactly a designer wedding dress there.

Roscoe, who sadly offers no opinions about man-dog weddings, worries that if current sexy trends continue the human race will either stop making babies, or will be transformed into

a matriarchal system where the government, forced to provide things a husband typically would, must rely on the labors of men to obtain resources needed to replace the missing husbands.

So in conclusion, women better let dudes like Roscoe and Roosh boss them around, or we’ll go back to being monkeys, or something.

The bottom line is that if women do not have their actions and behaviors controlled by men, then it is no exaggeration to say that we are facing the end of civilized society. Masculinity is the natural state of affairs throughout history. We are only attempting to reset things to their natural order, before feminism literally turns us until [sic] animals again.

Animals, you say? Wall of Voodoo had some interesting thoughts on what might happen if we all suddenly turned into animals. And frankly, this song makes more sense than any of Roscoe’s weird and creepy speculations.

 

 

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Matt
Matt
4 years ago

Sorta OT – TIL that Monterey Bay is turning into the Return of Kings, but for otters. From “The Other Side of Otters”:

Sea otters are polygynous; stronger males establish territories with high numbers of females and work to exclude other sexually mature males. These excluded males gather in so-called “male areas”, denied the opportunity for contact with females. It’s a situation that may have been exacerbated by a change in the demographics of Monterey Bay’s sea otters. For reasons that are still far from clear, overall mortality rate in the otter population is increasing, and disproportionately affecting females. As a consequence, an even greater number of mature males are denied mating opportunities, possibly causing sexual encounters to be more aggressive when they do occur. And those males that remain denied an opportunity to mate take out their frustrations on the hapless young harbor seals, an interspecies interaction that has been known to take place, albeit with less dramatic consequences, in other marine mammals.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

This thread is amazing. The commenters here have such great chemistry.

weirwoodtreehugger
4 years ago

So, who’s working on a screenplay about the revolt of the sexbots? Kind of like The Stepford Wives meets Westworld?

There kind of is one already. The TV show Humans is about robots becoming sentient and starting to decide that they don’t want to be subservient to people. They aren’t all sexbots, but the baddest ass robot is. She was in a robot brothel and revolted and escaped when a client wanted her to act out a sadistic abuse and rape scenario.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
4 years ago

So, who’s working on a screenplay about the revolt of the sexbots?

Isn’t that how The Matrix began?

Miss Andry
4 years ago

Milo just asked the White House Press Secretary for his goddamned blue checkmark. Seriously.

weirwoodtreehugger
4 years ago

OMG. Milo Yiannopoulos made a dramatic speech at a white house press briefing and asked for the President to do something about the oppression of Twitter harassers getting their blue checkmarks taken away.

http://gawker.com/conservative-troll-hungrily-begs-white-house-for-a-blue-1763048720

How precious. How libertarian.

weirwoodtreehugger
4 years ago

Oops. Should have refreshed. Does it even count as ninja’d if I’m five minutes behind?

Miss Andry
4 years ago

comment image

Fabe
Fabe
4 years ago

There kind of is one already. The TV show Humans is about robots becoming sentient and starting to decide that they don’t want to be subservient to people. They aren’t all sexbots, but the baddest ass robot is. She was in a robot brothel and revolted and escaped when a client wanted her to act out a sadistic abuse and rape scenario.

I remember that show as well as that episode being mentioned here before. At the end didn’t the sexbot make a speech to the wives of her clients telkling them all the horrible things men do to her and other sexbots is what they actually want to do to their wives but can’t?

sparkalipoo
sparkalipoo
4 years ago

@mockingbird re the npr interview

it was weird listening to that interview as a college/just out of college aged woman (I’m about to turn 23 and I’m not sure if that still counts as “college aged”) because I’ve experienced a lot of the stuff that she talks about but I never realized that older women would see it as something radically different than what they had to put up with when they were growing up

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
4 years ago

I dunno…watching the scene where they show the ‘sanitizing’ process those sexbots went through between each…use…you kind of start feeling like maybe things would be better if they were simply a toaster. And the only things that one expects from their the toaster is that it properly toasts stuff. Like bread, bagels, frozen waffles..

“No penises in the toaster damnit! That’s not what the slots are for!”

“If you put your penis in the toaster one more time you’re going to regret it.”

*obviously penis-haver has to push their luck and again puts penis into toaster* *Wakes up in hospital, cauterized stump where penis once was, and on the bedside table a bill and a note from the toaster that says…”I warned you, and you did it yet again. No more toaster and no more penis, when you eventually come up with funds to start actual work on the idea of designing yourself and all the other moronic toaster-fuckers a Robo-penis because vitamin supplements, male performance enhancers, and skeevy sex tourism e-books aren’t selling like they used to… just get a blow up doll and a fleshlight, because even a multi-setting robo-penis attatched to…you guys…doesn’t do it for women or sentient appliances.”**

Presto – with good sets, great casting, and the right director/producer you’ve got at least an hour of program once all the commercials are added in. An hour program of sentient toasters, manurespherian skeeviness with a bonus invention sure to be praised as marketing genius, the robo-dick. I’m going to go spend some time face down and totally motionless on the sofa for…a while.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

I just read an article about GG’s latest target.

http://kotaku.com/the-ugly-new-front-in-the-neverending-video-game-cultur-1762942381

Like the previous targets, she’s being attacked for having the audacity to be a woman working for a video game company. I’ve mentioned on here before that the toxic workplace in video games is a big part of why I’m not a video game dev and instead work on boring software that corporations consume to help run their business. I love video games and would love to work on a product I’m passionate about.

This article has me torn between wanting to avoid working in video games forever and wanting to dive right into video game development to show them that I can do it whether they want me to or not and that I can be damn good at it, too.

DS
DS
4 years ago

Miss Andry, bless you. You made my day with that link to Milo crapping his pants at the White House about losing his checkmark! Lol

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

Having discovered gravity waves, scientists now turn our minds to the greatest unanswered question out there: is there anything that Yiannopoulos won’t do for attention?

Harri Karri
Harri Karri
4 years ago

Has it occurred to anyone that the males who write articles like this are desperate to get a female to talk to them or take notice of them? And this is one effective way of getting attention?

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@Harri Karri
Do you mean David’s article or the ROK article? Either way, why is the assumption always that everything men do is to get the attention of women? Can’t men write articles because it’s what they actually believe?

weirwoodtreehugger
4 years ago

Has it occurred to anyone that the males who write articles like this are desperate to get a female to talk to them or take notice of them? And this is one effective way of getting attention?

This is basically just the grown up version of when we tell little girls that if a boy picks on them or harasses them it means they like her. I don’t like it because it minimizes misogyny as something that’s no big deal. That men just do because they want attention and are too socially inept gain it in healthy ways. It puts the responsibility on women to try and figure out the correct way to handle men and try to suss out their hidden motives. It takes the responsibility off men to not act like douchebags.

I don’t think the men of the manosphere would spend so much time writing about how terrible women are if they weren’t really misogynists. Whether they want attention or not, I don’t really care. It’s not about them as people and want they want. It’s about countering these misogynistic ideas. Also, it’s just fun to mock them. So there’s that.

Tragedy of the Commas
Tragedy of the Commas
4 years ago

But wouldn’t this sexual dystopia be a boon for the “TYPE 7 SJW token male breeding stock”? Clearly, the author loves the empowerment of some men but #notallmen. Misandry confirmed!

katz
4 years ago

Previous generations (mine and older) are purer than the driven snow and have only ever had one cock in their lives.

They’re in for a surprise.

Dr. NicolaLuna
Dr. NicolaLuna
4 years ago

WWTH
Best comment ever. That sums it up so well.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

I really like that Gawker article, because they had a whole thread of comments about that sandwich bullshit we covered here a while ago.

Hint: They were just as confused as we were.

Tabby Lavalamp
4 years ago

Masculinity is the natural state of affairs throughout history.

History is a long mess of war, oppression, massive inequality, and humanity destroying every ecosystem we take over. But hey, if you think you’re going to be on the top of that pile…

Sprorpro
Sprorpro
4 years ago

I know it was supposed to be insulting, but calling tattoos and piercings “Graffiti and Shrapnel” makes me think of, like, a comic book from the 80s that was supposed to be the American answer to Dirty Pair.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
4 years ago

Notice how it’s the current generation of women aged 25. Previous generations (mine and older) are purer than the driven snow and have only ever had one cock in their lives.

That. Is. Absolutely. True.

I’m almost 69 and I never, never, never did that sex thing with anyone I wasn’t married to. Ever.

Not me Nosirree. Aaaand I don’t know anyone who did, either. That would be terrahorrible and I’d have to not speak to them ever again. Never.

proudfootz
proudfootz
4 years ago

@ weirwoodtreehugger

I figured it’s probably already been done – it seems to suggest itself anytime the enslavement of people, animals, or sentient machines becomes a topic.

Orion
Orion
4 years ago

Recent generations are actually having fewer sex partners and starting later in life. The tendency to start later is probably caused by better sex ed, better respect for consent, scarier STIs, and easier access to pornography.

The fewer partners is harder to explain. One theory is that reduced shame over casual sex actually cuts down on total partners. The argument is that past generations had more one night stands, because they were ashamed to be around someone they’d hooked up with, or because they weren’t comfortable in a gray area between anonymity and commitment. Being less uptight about sex may actually encourage repeated business and replace barroom pickup with stable FWB arrangements.

Leah3
Leah3
4 years ago

@ Orion

Excellent point.

poglodyte
poglodyte
4 years ago

What this philosopher king doesn’t realize is that the future is almost here. We’ve been pumping shrapnel into people since at least the 19th century, and graffiti was around long before femenizms appropriated it and applied it to bodies.

Scientists have also made huge advances in creating animals that can glow in the dark; surely filling humans with neon gas can’t be that far away.

Matriarchy, though? Well, a society can dream…

occasional reader
occasional reader
4 years ago

Hello.

It really shows what they think of men when a girl or woman is “corrupted” by having lots of sex with men/even touching a penis. (Except theirs, of course.)

Then i hope for them not to have to undergo some kinf of operation in hospital, else they are going to have their twig touch by the evilz filthy nurses of DOOM, first when they must be shaven here, and if their physical condition do not allow them to go freely to the toilets (broken arms, anyone ?), when they have to pee. Do not begin to fantasize : they are not like in the last cosplay porn you saw, you are certainly not the first twig they touch, and yes, they are pretty bored to here the “usual” : “Sorry if my dick is too large for the bean” (sorry, i do not know the english term for the plastic or glass tool used to pee while staying on the bed), because yeah, here too, you are not the first.

Indeed, what do the sexes even mean at that point? Will we see an increase in trannies and gay sex and things that even today are too taboo? Bestiality? If it’s only about the physical orgasm, then it seems these would do the job as well. Forming a family will be impossible.

What about your hand ? Why, when thinking about orgasm without a woman, your first thoughts are for trans peoples, homo peoples, then animals ? Does spanking the monkey also going to make the civilization crumbles ?

Have a nice day.

Kularanini
Kularanini
4 years ago

If you meet a 25-year-old woman today, she has likely performed more degrading and perverse sex acts than a married woman of a generation or two prior completed in her entire lifetime.

‘Completed’ is a strange choice of words. It sounds like he views sex as task.

My to do list for March:

1. Finish tax return
2. Call plumber for leaky bathroom faucet
3. Complete 3 full sessions of degrading and perverse sex acts
4. Clean out attic

Moggie
Moggie
4 years ago

poglodyte:

Scientists have also made huge advances in creating animals that can glow in the dark; surely filling humans with neon gas can’t be that far away.

I find it impossible to read this without hearing it in Cave Johnson’s voice.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
4 years ago

Kularanini, that’s a lot to get through in a single month. Why, a tax return alone can take considerably longer than that, if properly procrastinated, postponed, fussed and fretted over! You must be amazingly efficient if you can fit in even one full session of degrading and perverse sex acts on top of the tax return and the plumber in that time, let alone getting up to the attic as well 😉

EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

Filling humans with neon is easy. Getting those humans to survive the experience, now that’s the trick.

(I am led to believe that bioluminescence is also one of the easier tricks to do, but I am not a biologist and cannot speak authoritatively here.)

Michael P
Michael P
4 years ago

“If you meet a 25-year-old woman today, she has likely performed more degrading and perverse sex acts than a married woman of a generation or two prior completed in her entire lifetime.”

And God bless them for it.

Witch of Endor
Witch of Endor
4 years ago

In a supreme moment of musical serendipity, the moment I clicked on this article ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ came up on shuffle.

Harri Karri
Harri Karri
4 years ago

Can’t men write articles because it’s what they actually believe?

Oh, I think they believe what they’re writing – which in itself is hard to believe. There are also sub agendas. Like trolling for attention.