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Return of Kings: Fight SJWs by giving feminists dirty looks, writing letters in seekrit code

Ebiil, qefp fp ald
Ebiil. Vbp qefp fp ald

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Fat feminist ladies! If you’re walking down the street one day, and some bitter douchebag gives you a dirty look, he may be more than just a bitter douchebag giving you a dirty look while you walk down the street.

He may be a brave cultural warrior engaging in a guerilla struggle against the Social Justice Warriors and their evil “cultural narrative.”

Over on Roosh V’s Return of Kings, alleged martial artist and regular RoK contributor Jean-Batave Poqueliche is offering wannabe reactionary culture warriors concrete suggestions on how to “hit the cultural narrative where it hurts.”

One of his recommended strategies: be kind of a dick.

“Launch counterattacks, even small, every day,” he urges.

Don’t call back the empowered slut after the bang and don’t tell her why. Give the disgusted look at that feminist tub of lard when she walks down the street. Ask a girl with a nose ring if you can hang your keys on it while you go get yourself a beer.

Take THAT cultural narrative!

Destroy their arguments, make the hamster wheel explode, and go chase some real skirt with as much patriarchy as possible.

Did someone say exploding hamster?

Poqueliche has a number of other equally brilliant suggestions for reactionary dolts hoping to win the culture war. Among them: stop using Facebook, stop using Google, record all your conversations, and go to Lithuania, where hot blonde twenty-year-olds are apparently lining up to tell bitter western dudes how much they hate feminism. No, really:

Nothing can describe what it is like to hear a Lithuanian 20 year-old girl with long, blond hair, high heels, and a dress telling you “I hate feminists.”

But my favorite suggestion seems to have come directly from The Hardy Boys Book of Super-Seekrit Spying for Little Douchebags: Send letters to your friends in super-seekrit code!

[W]ritten mail is the safest way to communicate in our day and age. …

The internet is (relatively) easy to monitor via keywords, but Barack has only two hands and cannot open or read all the letters that the United States Postal Service receives every day. Still not convinced? Use a code that you create, keep it within your community, and update it regularly.

Here’s one code he suggests you could use:

Caesar_cipher_left_shift_of_3.svg_

Yeah, that looks totally uncrackable, dude!

Alas, The Hardy Boys Book of Super-Seekrit Spying for Little Douchebags is not a real book. (There is a Hardy Boys Detective Handbook, which I was a proud owner of as a kid.)

But if you’re a culture warrior who truly wants to learn how to be a super-seekrit spy, here are some more suggestions you might find useful:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdA_j-oaHEs

You’re welcome, Roosh boys!

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katz
8 years ago

Anyone else like ciphers? I like ciphers.

Uif kbehdt nfo zcnjsf, J’wf idzse,
Vnvme rgvecds bu z vjdlfe vnse.
Sgfjs dbockf hjwft b tjofkf mjhis;
Sidx’e qzugds tuzx bu gnnf bu mhhis.
Sidx en mpu jdfq bxblf uhkm ugqff,
Onq sfbe dqpuhb qpfuqx.
Ugdz odudq tbmduhno sgf jnqvsf,
Onq sfdphohyf bo nudqutqf.
Ugdz tiqhoj eqnn qpxedqt boc eqnn qbjosr…
Tn gbs, J’wf izc on bpnqmbjosr.

Mortarius
Mortarius
8 years ago

I think they heard about some everyday suggestions to fight sexism and racism and such and went “Hey! I want to be a frontline culture warrior too!”, but being total amateurs and idjits they just came up with a bunch of douchey stuff they already do and called that fighting for their cause.

This list of stuff reads as a group too afraid to actually wear the burden of publicly and unashamedly defending what they believe, it’s all passive aggressive and ambiguous enough that they can always back down when called out and say they didn’t mean it.

Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ Katz

Re: your cipher

I’m never going to accomplish anything; that’s perfectly clear to me.

David N-T
David N-T
8 years ago

Well, being kind of a dick is still better than being the outright dicks that they are right now. Baby steps, I suppose.

katz
8 years ago

I’m never going to accomplish anything; that’s perfectly clear to me.

I’m actually worthless at solving them, I just really like making them up.

Shaenon
8 years ago

I will never cease to be amazed that these guys think they invented being dicks to women. Like a fat lady has never had some douchebag glare at her on the street, or a punk girl will be amazed by a random jerk telling her girls shouldn’t get tattoos.

It’s not an original idea, guys! We get this all the time!

GiJoel
GiJoel
8 years ago

Use ROT 26. It’s twice as secure as ROT13!!

brian
brian
8 years ago

are they for fucking serious with that cipher and sending paper mail? just get a free encrypted texting app for fuck’s sake.

I strongly recommend this to non-douchebags as well. I’ve been using Signal for awhile and, at least on Android, it’s such a smooth, painless replacement for the normal texting app there’s literally no reason not to use it. according to my iphone-using friend it’s not as nice on iOS, which is a shame.

Ashara Payne
Ashara Payne
8 years ago

Has any feminist academic ever written a book about these douchebags? I read Warren Farrell’s book twenty years ago and it’s so awful I’m sure I could write a better book than that. I expect anyone here could write a better book than Doosh’s books, but I’m not paying to read his tripe to check.
I could start by writing “PUAs/MRAs are stupid/smelly-throw rocks at them” with a matching T-shirt and it would make more sense than the stuff these guys come up with.

Number Sequence
Number Sequence
8 years ago

Hey, Return of Kings dickhead! Don’t make my refusal to use Facebook accidentally part of your shitty pretend activism for whiny babies! Thanks.

Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ Katz

That’s a quote from someone 😉

kupo
kupo
8 years ago

@GiJoel
*High five*

kupo
kupo
8 years ago

@katz
Got it! would you like me to share or leave it so others can solve? Good choice of poem, btw. 🙂

katz
8 years ago

Got it! would you like me to share or leave it so others can solve? Good choice of poem, btw. 🙂

Leave it, if anyone else is interested in having a go.

Shall I put up a more difficult one?

JoeB
JoeB
8 years ago

Well, now I’ve got some serious reading to do. I had thought Enigma was mostly cracked off a captured German sub where someone screwed up and didn’t properly break all the classified equipment and jettison/burn all the classified documents.

Scaly Llama
Scaly Llama
8 years ago

@JoeB

You may have been watching too many Hollywood movies. Enigma was cracked through the blood, sweat and tears of Polish and British cryptanalysts. Some code books had to be captured, but it’s a really complex story as to why. But, simply put, cracking Enigma involved clever humans, machines, and lax cryptographic habits by the German operators.

A really good outline of the whole complex story is in Simon Singh’s “The Code Book” – I’ve included a link below, but maybe David could post an affiliate link in case anyone wants to buy it AND support WHTM? 😉

It’s a cracking read (no pun intended) – you won’t regret it!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/social/swf/B003VWDOK2/o=WriteEmail/ref=cm_sw_em_v_awd_f5t1wb08DS8TM?placementID=awd_f5t1wb08DS8TM&vs=1&vs=1

Snowberry
Snowberry
8 years ago

Um, yeah. I haven’t done it in forever, but I could solve substitution ciphers easily enough when I was about 10, assuming the text was in English. I will say though that such things are fairly secure if you’re not important enough to bother with – nobody’s going to try to crack a jumble of letters that they happen to find unless they’re really bored.

Back then I was inspired to invent something more secure for fun. The “code” was a made-up, 28 letter alphabet: V and W shared the same letter, as did S and Z. There was no direct equivalent for C, Q or X, and there were 7 additional characters. Everything was spelled phonetically rather than using the proper spelling. There were a few other quirks that made decrypting it even harder, such as replacing extremely common words with something which sounded sort of similar (like replacing “the” with “da”).

It ended up being pointless, because I had no secrets worth keeping and no one to send messages to. So I just used it for decorative purposes.

Dalillama
Dalillama
8 years ago

@joeb, Scaly Llama
Neal Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon has a good fictionalized treatment of itñ and lots of juicy, well researched cryptography stuff, including detailed instructions for creating an encryption with a deck of cards.

Dr. NicolaLuna
Dr. NicolaLuna
8 years ago

I live walking distance from Bletchley Park which played a massive part in cracking the enigma code. It’s so interesting

Silver
Silver
8 years ago

I read this article. You struggle to believe that this can possibly be for real. I imagine them all running round accompanied by the Mission Impossible Theme Tune – ah haaaa – I just stared at a woman with cropped short hair. . . . Whilst we are looking on with bemusement – I wonder what is wrong with that guy – must be mentally ill poor dear.

He also suggests that they “go and chase some real skirt with as much patriarchy as possible” – Ha ha – no change there then!!!

It went on to say – “We attack what we hate, but we must reward what we respect. Lightly compliment your girl’s feminine outfit or the meal your wife cooked you” Wow – they have wives? Why on earth are they on the ROK site if they have??? That must be why they all use fake ID’s. They would be getting their writst slapped if their wives knew what they were up to on the internet. Finding he was into Porn would be more acceptable.

“Encourage the girl that tries to (really) lose weight. Teach something you deem valuable to your children.” Well that is a scary thought. . . How to get sex . . . but don’t tell your mum I told you this? Do people who have actually managed to find a partner and have a family have anything to do with this nonsense. You might hope that having reached the dizzy heights of progression past pick up artistry, they might have matured a little.

Other points were to “Keep exposing the lies” – that would be our lies and also “Destroy their arguments” I would suggest that they try and focus on these. However, given that it is themselves not “Feminists” that are lying and that they just haven’t got any arguments, just more of the moronic nonsense as above, that might involve a little more self scrutiny than they anticipate.

Surely the authors of this stuff MUST realise just how ridiculous this is and how crazy they all look. On Roosh Facebook site, no one ever seems to question any of it, but you just hold on to the hope that no grown man can possibly risk the humiliation of going up to a work colleague and suggesting that they start writing to each other in code? I cannot imagine any of the men I know doing so, but that being the case, how is it that the authors of this codswallop get soooo detached from reality? Despair.

occasional reader
occasional reader
8 years ago

> Alan Robertshaw

It’s bad enough that they hate women but why are they picking on poor hamsters! They’re so cute; what have they ever done to MRAs?

It is because we all live in a Cricetinaecracy. Hail to the Cricetinaecracy !

Ashara Payne
Ashara Payne
8 years ago

I’ve read a few times recently the theory that some men become misogynistic when they are in a situation where status amongst men is important. Because women tend to prefer higher-status men, the lower-status men are ignored in preference for the higher-status men. I’m not sure how much, if at all, I agree with that, but it is one possible explanation, even if it just all in their heads and not actually real. I guess the problem arises from how you define ‘status’. And it doesn’t explain high-status men being sexist jerks, although their sexism tends to be more of the ‘women are inferior’ kind, rather than genuine hatred and anger.

My ex was a bit like that but, despite knowing him for 31 years, I’m still not sure if he said sexist things purely to wind me up, as he claims. He didn’t show it for at least 5-10 years, though. Then again, he rarely expressed opinions on anything, as he was of the opinion that he was always right, and anyone who disagreed was simply wrong or lying. Lacking theory of mind somewhat I suspect. Or else a consummate narcissist.

What’s scary is how many men are out there who genuinely believe all this crap and keep it to themselves? I can only hope that they are on the Internet instead of out there in the real world because they lack the social skills or whatever to have a real social life. The Internet has enormous benefits but I guess side effects such as this are inevitable. I hope they all stay on it and become recluses.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Silver | March 1, 2016 at 2:59 am
I wonder what is wrong with that guy – must be mentally ill poor dear.

Please refer to the comments policy regarding ableism. Misogynistic Asshole is not a mental illness, many of us here are mentally ill and manage to not be a Misogynistic Asshole just fine.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@Ashara Payne

Has any feminist academic ever written a book about these douchebags?

Ha! I was just wondering that today. A quick Google search of “men’s rights movement scholarly writing” did yield some results.

I also think that MRAs would be great characters in a novel. They’d be scary—which is what they’re going for. They’d also be tragic—not a look they’ll admit to having. And unintentionally hilarious—a look that makes them weep into their beer. Sorry, MRAs!

@scaly llama

You may have been watching too many Hollywood movies. Enigma was cracked through the blood, sweat and tears of Polish and British cryptanalysts. Some code books had to be captured, but it’s a really complex story as to why.

Interesting! It really did seem to me that The Imitation Game simplified that whole process quite a bit.

@Silver

Lightly compliment your girl’s feminine outfit or the meal your wife cooked you.

Ha, ha! You wouldn’t want to do more than lightly compliment a woman.

If you get carried away and give her a real compliment, she’ll start to think that she can do better than an MRA, which she definitely, definitely can, ’cause even being alone would be far preferable.

So yeah, MRAs, you’d better stick to those light compliments.

Jimbtho
Jimbtho
8 years ago

I love how he suggests giving a ‘disgusted look’ to a ‘feminist tub of lard’ (how the hell would he know she’s a feminist? Let me guess – he thinks you can tell feminists by their haircuts?). Because doing or saying anything more than that might provoke some kind of reaction, and that would never do. How Alpha.