The latest hot take on women in the military, courtesy of the Men’s Rights subreddit:
They’re “inferior soldiers for obvious reasons?” What “obvious reasons?”
Because they’ll sneak away in the middle of a firefight to have a tea party with their dollies? No, that’s little girls (and some boys), not adult women.
Because they can only live for a limited amount of time out of water? Oh, wait, that’s goldfish.
Because they’ll poke too many holes in their uniforms and possibly in other soldiers as well? No, that’s porcupines.
Because they’re 1,300,000 times the size of earth? No, that’s the sun.
Oh, wait, it has something to do with shoes, right? Women love shoes!
And if the whole shoe thing isn’t enough, we should definitely kick women out because when they engage in prohibited sexual activity, that’s totally their fault and not at all the fault of the guys having sex with them, and also because when a really cute women has sex with some dude it might make some other dude feel sad because that ungrateful slut should really be breaking military rules with me and not that dickhead Tony who thinks he’s so cool, but somehow Tony himself isn’t at fault, because I dunno, he’s basically all right, a real solid dude, when you think about it, he can’t help it that women are always throwing themselves at him, man I wish I were more like Tony.
Huh. So if we’re going to start tossing people out of the army for making other people upset, should we toss all people of color out of the military because some white solders are racist?
If there’s some soldier who really hates standing in line at the mess hall, should we kick everyone standing in front of him out of the army?
And if we’re preemptively tossing whole groups of people out for hypothetical things they might possibly do, why not toss gay men out of the military (again) because they might get some of those tiny yappy dogs — I mean, gay guys love those tiny yappy dogs, right? — and these tiny yappy dogs might chew through the wires of some really important piece of equipment? (Wouldn’t that make a great comedy? Email me if you want to buy the movie rights to this paragraph.)
Hell, I’m pretty sure everyone on planet Earth has the capacity to make some other person on Earth feel bad or suffer inconvenience, so let’s just toss everyone out of the military just in case.
I should point out that not everyone in the Men’s Rights subreddit agrees with ABunchofTards here. Indeed, the top response to his comment comes from a subreddit regular, blueoak9, who declares that the assumption that women are naturally terrible soldiers
is insulting. It insults the women I served with which means it insults me. There were women who were shit soldiers, and men too, but it had nothing to do with their gender or how people interacted with them.
And as for all that “love triangle” nonsense, blueoak9 informs Mr. Tards that women in the armed forces are actually very stinky.
I have news for you – human females smell about as intensely as human males; it’s just a feature of the species – and after a few days in the field they get pretty unappetizing, so all this rumpy-humpy you are imagining is pure fantasy. I never observed any of it. I’m sure it happened, but it was rare and surreptitious.
And besides, when this, er, rumpy=humpy does happen, you’ll get some too because these gals will have sex with pretty much anyone.
[A]s for not having your buddy’s back because you are somehow jealous of him – that’s a rather civilian perspective. Much more likely is telling him it’s your turn next. A lot of women get a lot of dick in the Army; it’s a perk of service.
So there you have it. Women are terrible soldiers except when they aren’t, and they will have lots of sex except when they don’t but even when they don’t they do.
I’m glad the fellows on the Men’s Rights subreddit were able to resolve this issue peacefully.
UPDATE: In case you’re wondering about the illustration I used for this post, you can read about the artist here. It was used as the cover of a men’s adventure magazine in 1971.
H/T — r/AgainstMensRights
@ Alan and EJ (The Other One)
And WHY are members of the veterinary service out there? I think I know why.
They’re tending the pigs. But these are no ordinary pigs. These pigs were being exploited for their similarities to Homo sapiens. These pigs are being used to develop a terrifying bioweapon. As Alec Hardison of Leverage, Inc. will tell you, if you’re looking to wage a little biowarfare, you don’t need a lab. You need pigs.
That’s why the windmill was set on fire. The notes, samples, and strains needed to be destroyed before a devastating plague swept across Europe.
EJ: Sounds about right.
Of course! And the plane must have been there to sprinkle the germs across all of Europe! It all makes sense.
@ vikki p & EJ
It’s a little known fact that the Germans did attempt an abortive landing at Camberwick Green. I think that’s what’s being depicted here.
(Luckily they were driven off by reinforcements from Trumpton Fort)
Yes, exactly! That’s no ordinary plane. And therefore, those are no ordinary hairdressers. That’s just their cover. They were attempting to infiltrate the facility and neutralize the threat before it could be unleashed on an unsuspecting world … only the guy in the hi viz floatie got in their way. Because they are merciful (and wanted to interrogate him further once they’d finished taking care of business), they only wounded him. These so-called hairdressers were drawing attention away from the windmill so that their brunette ally could destroy the lab. They know this could be their last mission, but the fate of the world is in their manicured hands, and they have no intention of letting any Nazis slip through their fingers.
@ Alan
So that was no music box? It was an ENIGMA prototype?
Just as I expected. I’m getting my two remaining wisdom teeth out. And just like last time it’s a miserable rainy day I’ll get to take three buses in. Whoo hoo!
That would fit with my experience as well (though submarines not ground forces).
I realized pretty quickly that any time someone worries about “unit cohesion” it should be read as “some people are complete assholes so won’t deal with this well”, which is true but the right response isn’t “so don’t do it” it’s “Fuck them then”.
@ vikki p
That’s what the Germans were trying to capture!
@Alan
Well, hats off to the troops of Trumpton Fort!
Were the troops of Trumpton fort also veterinarian-quashing hairdressers, or are we getting the stories confused?
Obviously the Trumpton troops came in to help tidy up after the veterinarian-quashing hairdressers (and one Amazon) had succeeded in saving the world.
I’m now listening to the “Trumpton Riots” EP.
@snork maiden,
I see that Doosh’s fellow rapists / wannabes / apologists have descended on Jane Gari’s blog. She may need our support. How awful for her, a survivor of sexual abuse, to be subjected to this vile, leering gaggle of rape apologists (and likely rapists, too).
Probably obvious but in addition to being hateful towards women, these MRA’s fellows hate other men as well. “letting a fellow solider die because I’m acting like being in the army is like being in high school with guns is a perfectly rational action.”
Well to be honest the first MRA is correct. Women *are* inferior soldiers. For example, everyone knows the most important part of a woman is her hair. Can you hold a rifle with just hair?
No, you can’t. That is a simple Red Pill Truth.
Soldiers are required to do heavy lifting, but can a woman carry 250 lbs 200 miles in High Heels? No. No one can. Now why would a woman in combat insist on wearing high heels?
HYPERGAMY! Of course. It is a well known Red Pill Truth that at all times, even under artillery fire, women want Alphas.
Good grief, just good grief. In Canada women serve in the front lines and we still have a competent army. And that nonsense about “unit cohesion” blech.
@snork maiden
You beat me to it. I saw it on RoK, where he posted his attorney’s letter demanding she preserve all communication with “Susan” and admit she fabricated the story (if she did so) within seven days.
ABunchofTurds should be advised that the men who kvetch the most about women being soooooo disruptive to “unit cohesion”…are usually the weakest links in the chain themselves. Because they’re the ones who are trying to have sex with all the women, who of course don’t want them, and then when they fail, they blame their “buddies” (who are actually no friends of theirs, because these guys aren’t fools either) whom the women would rather associate with instead.
Aaaaand I think I’ll be re-watching Private Benjamin tonight. It’s a pure, goofy lark, but it’s probably a lot closer to the reality of women in the military than this shithead will ever get.
EJ, chapeau – your analysis of the image is brilliant. I would never have realised there were vets and hairdressers involved here but for your tour de force.
ETA omg Victorious Parasol et al – it got even better on page 2. I am in awe.
I’m guessing everything this guy knows about women in the military came from repeated viewings of “Saving Ryan’s Privates.”
That’s not a typo, btw.
Witness: the greatest sentence ever composed.
Having spoken to a few men who’ve served in the military with women…when push comes to shove, you just want a competant person serving next to you and it doesn’t matter if they are male or female.
And yes…women are extremely well suited to endurance. I compete in ultra events, I gain, pass and get faster past the 18 mile mark…
Here’s an interesting article…most of it I’d say is pretty acurate, except for the female competition part. At least it doesn’t ring true in my experience because I don’t hang out with anyone who gives a hoot about designer crap.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/tucker-max/2015/10/guys-heres-what-its-actually-like-to-be-a-woman/
For anyone wanting to know more about the image I used for this post, check out this profile of the artist.
http://www.menspulpmags.com/2011/07/basil-gogos-paintings-from-rich-oberg.html
MRA’s motto could be women are bad at everything, even when they’re not.
Oh man, the cropped version doesn’t show that they’re knee-deep in water while wearing no pants! How does this fit into the story?