MRA: Women make bad soldiers because they’ll sleep with guys who aren’t you

The latest hot take on women in the military, courtesy of the Men’s Rights subreddit:

They’re “inferior soldiers for obvious reasons?” What “obvious reasons?”

Because they’ll sneak away in the middle of a firefight to have a tea party with their dollies? No, that’s little girls (and some boys), not adult women.

Because they can only live for a limited amount of time out of water? Oh, wait, that’s goldfish.

Because they’ll poke too many holes in their uniforms and possibly in other soldiers as well? No, that’s porcupines.

Because they’re 1,300,000 times the size of earth? No, that’s the sun.

Oh, wait, it has something to do with shoes, right? Women love shoes!

And if the whole shoe thing isn’t enough, we should definitely kick women out because when they engage in prohibited sexual activity, that’s totally their fault and not at all the fault of the guys having sex with them, and also because when a really cute women has sex with some dude it might make some other dude feel sad because that ungrateful slut should really be breaking military rules with me and not that dickhead Tony who thinks he’s so cool, but somehow Tony himself isn’t at fault, because I dunno, he’s basically all right, a real solid dude, when you think about it, he can’t help it that women are always throwing themselves at him, man I wish I were more like Tony.

Huh. So if we’re going to start tossing people out of the army for making other people upset, should we toss all people of color out of the military because some white solders are racist?

If there’s some soldier who really hates standing in line at the mess hall, should we kick everyone standing in front of him out of the army?

And if we’re preemptively tossing whole groups of people out for hypothetical things they might possibly do, why not toss gay men out of the military (again) because they might get some of those tiny yappy dogs — I mean, gay guys love those tiny yappy dogs, right? — and these tiny yappy dogs might chew through the wires of some really important piece of equipment? (Wouldn’t that make a great comedy? Email me if you want to buy the movie rights to this paragraph.)

Hell, I’m pretty sure everyone on planet Earth has the capacity to make some other person on Earth feel bad or suffer inconvenience, so let’s just toss everyone out of the military just in case.

I should point out that not everyone in the Men’s Rights subreddit agrees with ABunchofTards here. Indeed, the top response to his comment comes from a subreddit regular, blueoak9, who declares that the assumption that women are naturally terrible soldiers

is insulting. It insults the women I served with which means it insults me. There were women who were shit soldiers, and men too, but it had nothing to do with their gender or how people interacted with them.

And as for all that “love triangle” nonsense, blueoak9 informs Mr. Tards that women in the armed forces are actually very stinky.

I have news for you – human females smell about as intensely as human males; it’s just a feature of the species – and after a few days in the field they get pretty unappetizing, so all this rumpy-humpy you are imagining is pure fantasy. I never observed any of it. I’m sure it happened, but it was rare and surreptitious.

And besides, when this, er, rumpy=humpy does happen, you’ll get some too because these gals will have sex with pretty much anyone.

[A]s for not having your buddy’s back because you are somehow jealous of him – that’s a rather civilian perspective. Much more likely is telling him it’s your turn next. A lot of women get a lot of dick in the Army; it’s a perk of service.

So there you have it. Women are terrible soldiers except when they aren’t, and they will have lots of sex except when they don’t but even when they don’t they do.

I’m glad the fellows on the Men’s Rights subreddit were able to resolve this issue peacefully.

UPDATE: In case you’re wondering about the illustration I used for this post, you can read about the artist here. It was used as the cover of a men’s adventure magazine in 1971.

H/T — r/AgainstMensRights