Over on the Red Pill subreddit — where alpha dogs discuss their alphahood and trade fake stories about their alleged sexual conquests with other alpha dogs — one of the subreddit’s top “endorsed” commenters is worried that some of his comrades in lady-manipulation think too highly of the slutty sluts they say they’re banging.
In a post with 267 upvotes, at last count, CisWhiteMaelstrom warns fellow Red Pillers to be careful lest their Red Pill knowledge inadvertently “sexually empower women.” Indeed, he reports with a certain horror, these Red Pill dudes
project fantasies onto these women of having endless amounts of only the best sex and of having endless amounts of servants and power. … he’s elevated [sluts] to such a status that he could never attain it himself, even if he doesn’t actually want the chick because she’s just too slutty.
And then Mr. Maelstrom puts forward the most, well, delicious Red Pill metaphor I’ve seen for some time.
The truth is that slutty women are like bad cheeseburgers. Nobody actually wants a Big Mac, but it’s right there, it’s ready now, and it doesn’t cost much.
I beg to differ. Sometimes I really want a Big Mac.
Nobody finds Amy Scheumer [sic] attractive, but the reproductive cost for men is just low enough that he’ll get it up when she’s broadcasting her immediate availability.
How exactly does one go about determining the “reproductive cost” of having sex with Amy Schumer, or any other woman that these guys like to pretend they “wouldn’t bang” in the unlikely event that they were given the chance? What exactly is “the reproductive cost” for men,” anyway? Their sperm?
Is all that just that a fancy way of saying that dudes don’t worry about using up their sperm on some lady who isn’t a 10 because they know they can always just make more sperm? And why are we talking about sperm in a discussion about cheeseburgers anyway?
Nobody respects the Cheeseburger Sluts and no woman wants to be a Cheeseburger Slut. They don’t sit there planning how to use Cheeseburger appeal to leverage the best genes, they just make desperate impulsive decisions.
What sort of “desperate impulsive” cheeseburger decisions are these Cheeseburger Sluts making? Putting two slices of cheese on their heads instead of one? Slathering themselves in mayo in addition to the standard ketchup and mustard? Adding bacon to themselves for an additional 85 cents?
Crap, I’m making myself hungry.
From what I see, the cheeseburger life isn’t even much of a party. They fuck one or two guys per year and feel bad about it.
Those Cheeseburger Sluts are definitely sour!
What’s even worse is that these Cheeseburger Sluts aren’t even thinking rationally about who they’re having sex with.
Part of the reason women give such bad dating advice is because they genuinely do not know what they like or how to judge a man’s attractiveness. They aren’t rational enough to think logically about who’s a good choice to fuck or even what they like to look at.
Damn, ladies, don’t you even STEM?
They go for men who other women go for because they need to be told who they’re attracted to. They go for men who treat them like shit because they assume he’s earned the right by being so excellent, even if she can’t figure out how.
Luckily, the Red Pillers understand the ladies even better than the ladies understand themselves.
The system’s got an internal logic to it and TRP basically figured it out. If you play the game right then it’s pretty easy to exploit, but a lot of guys don’t do it.
That’s right. Instead, some of these dudes forget the Red Pill basics and actually try to win over women with … resources!
I call these guys “The Red Blue Pillers”. They think to themselves: “I’m worth X and she might theoretically get more than that, so I’ll close the gap by throwing some time or resources in.” He’s screwing himself by thinking that she’s more rational than she actually is… .
Wouldn’t this depend on what resources the guy uses to get the girls? I mean, say, coal is a classic old school resource, but most women don’t have coal-burning stoves these days. Uranium is super powerful, but it might turn her babies into mutants if she doesn’t have the proper containment system set up. It’s pretty complicated!
When he spends those resources, he’s not sweetening the deal like he thinks he is. He’s making her second guess him. She’s not thinking that he’s now worth “X plus time and resources”. She’s wondering what he’s compensating for and his effort actually lowers his value.
So in conclusion, go Red Pill! Boo Red Blue Pill!
Mr. Maelstrom’s post has gotten nearly 90 comments so far. I would read through them all but frankly all I can think about right now is cheeseburgers.
I just baked some homemade soybean burgers with Korean flavouring (doenjang, gochujang paste, red pepper flakes and some anchovy stock powder) . They were ugly as sin, but the taste was excellent and I’ve frozen several of them to have next week with vegetables or even (gasp) on a burger.
So what does that make me? A tofu burger slut, I suppose?
In a cheeseburger slut world, what would sliders be classified as? If you have 2 cheeseburgers per year you’re gonna need like 6 sliders, but they’re small and not very satisfying alone so you need multiples.
…I shouldn’t try to understand pillock food metaphors when hungry.
VP: We made hoisin burgers a few days ago! They were really good. We also made bacon and blue cheese burgers. There are a lot of tasty ways to make a burger.
I’ve been reading this blog for a few years, and sometimes I think to myself that the manuresphere has finally hit rock bottom. Then, one of them comes along, tips his trilby, and whips out a shovel from under his trench coat. I mean, this one here isn’t as violently repulsive as what, say, Dean Esmay or Heartiste have said, but in terms of sheer silliness, this whole Cheeseburger Slut thing is pretty hard to beat.
Also, damn you all, I’m hungry too and it’s all your fault. Swiss cheese, bacon, lettuce, hot peppers, tomatoes, red onions, Dijon mustard, please.
I swear, the more I see of Red Pill “thought” the more it looks like the inane ramblings of very small children, but with a gross film of sex and misogyny on top.
Cheeseburger Slut? I mean seriously, that sounds like something a very sexist 5 year old would come up with as the name for a supervillain.
Kupo, sliders are first or second base!
katz: Haven’t done it in a long while, but I sometimes make “Triple Blue” burgers.
Add 1/4 cup dried, unsweetened (if you can find them!) blueberries, macerated by hand or in a mini food processor, for each pound of burger meat. Then prepare as a normal burger.
I serve ’em with blue cheese and a blueberry vinagrette (hence Triple Blue; you could always omit the cheese for a “Double Blue”) and any vegetables you like (usually just spinach or romaine for me).
@ katz There are indeed! I’ve made some delicious turkey burgers with crumbled feta cheese, garlic, thyme, and oregano.
@Steampunked
Of course! It all makes sense now.
ETA: @Nequam
Ooh, I bet a blueberry vinegar reduction would be good with that.
Why do douchebros like this always assume us women are the ones who don’t know what we want when their (very very narrow) requirements of what they want in a woman often strongly contradict each other?
Hmm…
Could it be that they are actually taking advice from other men about what women want instead of just, you know, actually asking women they are interested in dating themselves?
I like to make bean burgers with rice and oatmeal. The edges get crispy and they stay moist and yummy inside. Throw jalapenos and cheese on it and it’s fabulous.
I have to disagree about Big Macs not costing very much. They’re like four bucks now, and that’s not even with fries & a drink. And they’re mostly bread.
Also, someone needs to tell the Red Pill that attempting to quantify the unquantifiable (eg, ‘attractiveness’) is bad science, bad math, and will produce nothing but garbage results. Other than the misogyny, this is the biggest headache these guys give me. There is nothing logical, rational, practical, or useful about these “systems” they come up with. Their calculated “worth,” both for themselves and those around them, doesn’t mean anything, at all, anywhere, ever. It’s subjective. Always. Randomly assigning numbers to things is not how science works.
I’m reminded of that EvoPsych shitlord professor who tweeted something about how if you cant give up carbs, you don’t have the sheer ubermenschen WILL to complete your PhD. Just… has he ever met another professor? They are not known for their physiques.
I’m lousy at burger formation from raw hamburger meat. I also like all meat extremely extra well-done but if I’m cooking for others too I’ll scorch theirs a lot less as I know not everyone has a thing for torched-beyond-belief meat. Tonight was home-made spicy orange chicken, not burnt as my obsession with that oddly leaves out any kind of poultry – the only cooking issues with that is “must not be pink inside, easier to chew and has more flavor if not over-cooked”. I learned to cook when I got tired of being hungry, and am self-taught in creative adaptations of recipes.
The OP RP short-take: Meeeeeeeeeee nobody wants meeeeeeeeeeeee why does nobody have sex with meeeeeeeeeeeeee whyyyyyyyyyyyy!?
Bloody heck I am reading the post trying to focus but all I want is a darn cheeseburger 😛
The constant nonsense about how a guy who gets around is a King while women who do the same are, well, cheeseburgers, the cognitive dissonance of it all, astounding.
Anyway here is something funny
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=3546
Well, I have been told I have a pretty nice singing voice. I can’t hit high notes for shit though. o͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡╮(｡❛ᴗ❛｡)╭o͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡
It’s like crawling out of a slimy, wet hole to a beautiful, glorious sunrise peeking out over the tops of a dense forest full of singing birds, with large, snow-capped mountains behind it.
Aw yeah.
http://www.chowhound.com/assets/2009/07/snickerdoodle_cookies_600.jpg
No, but you can have some snickerdoodle cookies, because I definitely snickered at that.
What I find is easiest:
Roll a ball (size dependent on how big/thick you want your burgers to be), then throw it back and forth between your hands quickly. Continue until the meat is the desired thickness. This also works for Hamburger Steaks.
Another thing you could do is start with a ball, place it between two sheets of wax paper or plastic wrap, and then press it down with a spatula, or some other flat object until it’s the right size. It won’t be “round”, but it’ll still be a good thickness all the way around, depending on the size of your flat object (A skillet would work great for this).
“When I ask women what they’re attracted to, they never say ’emotional abuse and gaslighting,’ even though both of those are good ways of controlling women. Therefore, women are stupid. And slutty. And cheeseburgers. QED.”
So, I had a homemade version of McDonald’s applewood sandwich and according to TeRPs I’m a prude workaholic*. That must mean I’m a Bacon Bitch?
*Because I’m working and want to further my career, which should only be a “man’s duty”, when women should instead Stay in The Kitchen.
Msexceptiontotherule: I’m pretty good at making burgers from ground meat.
I like to wet my hands with water or olive oil first, just in case things get sticky.
Make a ball I think would make a nice size patty and lightly toss back and forth between my hands until I have the desired shape.
Depending on how thick the patty is, I like to press two fingers into its middle, making sure it’s edges are slightly rounded upwards.
My mom is horrible at making patties. Hers always shrink into small round discs, no matter what size she tries to make them. I once talked her through the entire process, as I did it with her, and she still got the same result, while mine came out round, thick, with little shrinkage, so it may have something to do with the handwork, I’m guessing.
Well, now I’m hungry and it’s nearly midnight and I can’t have red meat before bed.
It seems like time after time part of the Red Pill’s (and other manosphere types) complaint is that “women don’t act the way I think they should act, therefore they don’t know how to act rationally or logically.”
I really find “[they don’t] how to judge a man’s attractiveness” to be exceptionally interesting. They’re establishing a universal man’s attractiveness, as if attraction isn’t subjective. Of course this isn’t really surprising since they’re pushing a cultural idea of woman’s attractiveness in a 1 to 10 scale that men in the red pill are expected to follow. Which makes “They go for men who other women go for because they need to be told who they’re attracted to” all shades of hilarious.
It’s kinda sad. By making the 1 to 10 scale, and making sex a “status” thing. It looks like it takes the joy out of sex. Then guys don’t get to develop and realize what they’re attracted to. It’s all about the status of getting a predefined high score.
You know what this makes me think of?
There’s this meme that’s been floating around tumblr for a while, and it’s usually someone asking “Hey, do you want _____?” and it gets a response of “I’m always a slut for ________.” (It started in a post about Doritos.)
For instance:
“Hey, do you want a cheeseburger?”
“I’m always a slut for cheeseburgers.”
@PI
Now now, you know perfectly well that if you laugh whenever you miss a high note, all will be forgiven.
@Pony’s Labia
About your name. I honestly can’t decide whether to applaud or back away slowly. Well done! As well done as Msexceptiontotherule’s meat when cooked for herself!
Amy Schumer is an actress who portrays a fictional comedian named “Amy Schumer” whenever she’s in public. She’s like the old Steven Colbert.
“Amy Schumer” is desperate and unattractive. The actress who plays her is an HB 10 by conventional standards. These men probably do want to bang Amy Schumer, but they don’t want to bang “Amy Schumer.”
I wanna live
with a cheeseburger slut
I could be happy
the rest of my life
With a cheeseburger slut.
A dreamer of pictures
I run in the night
You see us together,
chasing the moonlight,
My cheeseburger slut.
[guitar solo]
I’d say that most people actually would give bad advice as to what they really want in a partner unless they’ve had enough relationships and hookups to know what has and hasn’t got them going in practice.
Even then people can do a pretty poor job of identifying exactly what it was about someone that worked so well for them, people can be blinded by biases and prejudices, draw trendlines through relationships that are not actually the causative ones and simply be self-deluding about what they like because sometimes what attracts us to other people we feel reflects badly upon us.
Almost anything I’ve ever described as “wanting” in a partner, either physically or personality wise has turned out wrong in practice, with every partner proving to be an exception to one of my foolish rules.
Moral of the story? Don’t limit your horizons with an itemised list of what you want, even things that normally turn you away can work with certain combinations of other traits.
So how does one determine what amount of ground beef they should use – golf ball sized, something slightly less than a tennis ball? Half a cd? (that’s compact disk, similar to a Blu-ray. This info was provided for the young’ns.) The finished burger doesn’t need to be small enough to fit on those tiny hamburger buns that many grocery stores should be forced to label with “for sliders” but don’t…and if it’s as big as a salad plate that’s too big.
And damnit I almost made it through here without developing an intense craving for hamburgers, damn you! Damn those delicious evil hamburgers.
BTW: Thanks for the tips already provided by PI & Ikeke