Over on the Red Pill subreddit — where alpha dogs discuss their alphahood and trade fake stories about their alleged sexual conquests with other alpha dogs — one of the subreddit’s top “endorsed” commenters is worried that some of his comrades in lady-manipulation think too highly of the slutty sluts they say they’re banging.
In a post with 267 upvotes, at last count, CisWhiteMaelstrom warns fellow Red Pillers to be careful lest their Red Pill knowledge inadvertently “sexually empower women.” Indeed, he reports with a certain horror, these Red Pill dudes
project fantasies onto these women of having endless amounts of only the best sex and of having endless amounts of servants and power. … he’s elevated [sluts] to such a status that he could never attain it himself, even if he doesn’t actually want the chick because she’s just too slutty.
And then Mr. Maelstrom puts forward the most, well, delicious Red Pill metaphor I’ve seen for some time.
The truth is that slutty women are like bad cheeseburgers. Nobody actually wants a Big Mac, but it’s right there, it’s ready now, and it doesn’t cost much.
I beg to differ. Sometimes I really want a Big Mac.
Nobody finds Amy Scheumer [sic] attractive, but the reproductive cost for men is just low enough that he’ll get it up when she’s broadcasting her immediate availability.
How exactly does one go about determining the “reproductive cost” of having sex with Amy Schumer, or any other woman that these guys like to pretend they “wouldn’t bang” in the unlikely event that they were given the chance? What exactly is “the reproductive cost” for men,” anyway? Their sperm?
Is all that just that a fancy way of saying that dudes don’t worry about using up their sperm on some lady who isn’t a 10 because they know they can always just make more sperm? And why are we talking about sperm in a discussion about cheeseburgers anyway?
Nobody respects the Cheeseburger Sluts and no woman wants to be a Cheeseburger Slut. They don’t sit there planning how to use Cheeseburger appeal to leverage the best genes, they just make desperate impulsive decisions.
What sort of “desperate impulsive” cheeseburger decisions are these Cheeseburger Sluts making? Putting two slices of cheese on their heads instead of one? Slathering themselves in mayo in addition to the standard ketchup and mustard? Adding bacon to themselves for an additional 85 cents?
Crap, I’m making myself hungry.
From what I see, the cheeseburger life isn’t even much of a party. They fuck one or two guys per year and feel bad about it.
Those Cheeseburger Sluts are definitely sour!
What’s even worse is that these Cheeseburger Sluts aren’t even thinking rationally about who they’re having sex with.
Part of the reason women give such bad dating advice is because they genuinely do not know what they like or how to judge a man’s attractiveness. They aren’t rational enough to think logically about who’s a good choice to fuck or even what they like to look at.
Damn, ladies, don’t you even STEM?
They go for men who other women go for because they need to be told who they’re attracted to. They go for men who treat them like shit because they assume he’s earned the right by being so excellent, even if she can’t figure out how.
Luckily, the Red Pillers understand the ladies even better than the ladies understand themselves.
The system’s got an internal logic to it and TRP basically figured it out. If you play the game right then it’s pretty easy to exploit, but a lot of guys don’t do it.
That’s right. Instead, some of these dudes forget the Red Pill basics and actually try to win over women with … resources!
I call these guys “The Red Blue Pillers”. They think to themselves: “I’m worth X and she might theoretically get more than that, so I’ll close the gap by throwing some time or resources in.” He’s screwing himself by thinking that she’s more rational than she actually is… .
Wouldn’t this depend on what resources the guy uses to get the girls? I mean, say, coal is a classic old school resource, but most women don’t have coal-burning stoves these days. Uranium is super powerful, but it might turn her babies into mutants if she doesn’t have the proper containment system set up. It’s pretty complicated!
When he spends those resources, he’s not sweetening the deal like he thinks he is. He’s making her second guess him. She’s not thinking that he’s now worth “X plus time and resources”. She’s wondering what he’s compensating for and his effort actually lowers his value.
So in conclusion, go Red Pill! Boo Red Blue Pill!
Mr. Maelstrom’s post has gotten nearly 90 comments so far. I would read through them all but frankly all I can think about right now is cheeseburgers.
What the hell is wrong with a Big Mac? Also, who is “Amy Scheumer?” I’ve never heard of this “Amy Scheumer.”
This just in, putting any effort whatsoever into a relationship with a woman, acting as though she isn’t simply supposed to swoon and surrender the moment you enter her life, means you’re just as illogical as the lay-deez!
Gosh, and here I was thinking that logic meant that all parties in a healthy relationship put a certain amount of time and effort into said relationship.
They have a lot of time to theorize about this stuff.
Because they can’t attract any women at all.
One or two guys a year is enough to qualify as a slut now?
I suppose I’m forgetting that non-sluts save themselves for marriage but also have the Good at Sex gene.
I love how these guys have endless theories and explanations on how women act and think – like women are all the same mindless hoard (and not individual PEOPLE who think and feel and act all differently).
I wonder if some of these Red Pill’rs have never actually talked to female human?
I find Amy Schumer highly attractive but I’m a vegetarian. Now what?
Nothing is wrong with Big Mac’s but I guess they are just too much to swallow for those poor red pillers :’D And Amy Scheumer is a comedian, one who treats man in the same fashion all those macho guys treat woman. She makes lot’s of sex jokes and more. I think she is funny and red pillers hate her because she isn’t a woman who behaves like she is from the 50’s…
Oh! OH!! I wanna be a bacon cheeseburger!! And I’d be one of those with the extra patty because I’m awesome that way 😀
… you’re telling me I need to have sex in order to be a cheeseburger? Say what now? I can’t just dress up like one, like some sort of food fetished furry?
I don’t know how to play an instrument, nor am I a good singer but I really, really want to start a girl band and call it The Cheeseburger Sluts.
I don’t follow celebrity gossip super closely so I don’t know for sure, but I believe I’ve read that Amy Schumer has dated some pro athletes. You know, the types of guys that have high “SMV” and could probably date 21 year models if they wanted to. So I don’t think it’s true that no one is actually attracted to Amy Schumer.
Isn’t it so hard to be a man? There’s actually a woman slightly larger than a size 2 on TV. And she talks about her sex life. Oh the horror! Oh, the Big Mac feeemales!
I’m no geneticist, but I understand that the female “good at sex gene” is activated by an alpha male’s dingus. I read that in a Richard Dawkins book, or I might have dreamt it.
I love the part where he complains that women don’t even know what they like to look at. Sounds like he was turned down by someone, like 2 minutes before he ragetyped this. :p
I found a sexy cheeseburger costume.
Because of course
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbjmuwOJxC1qavtp2.jpg
Man… The second I hear these people yapping it’s like
http://i.giphy.com/xT0BKCmm4MU6InoccU.gif
In my footloose and fancy free days, the very last thing I wanted was to “leverage” any kind of genes from my partners, thank you all the same.Those things can get you pregnant if you get them mixed up with your own.
@ Razwick – yes, I thought that too – one or two guys a year = slutty? Oops, call me Messalina.
I think, deep down, it’s ANY other guy, ever, before the guy that’s thinking this. Or the appearance of any other guy, or maybe just thinking about another guy once before she knew him, or having some guy’s poster on the wall.
@ WWTH – I’m really amazed there isn’t already a girl band called the Cheeseburger Sluts. There definitely should be. Hey, no probs if you can’t play – punk aesthetic! Learn while doing it.
These grapes, they are definitely sour.
I will never get that 2 man in one year is slutty now?
And not doing them is being a bitch?
And having sex with them is being a whore?
I kinda get confused by their logic. Must be the reason why I don’t work in STEM.
I find it so telling for Red Pillers that they apparently don’t even need to find women sexually attractive to get aroused by them. For all their talk of women failing to meet their high standards, they don’t actually seem to care about any other quality beyond sexual availability.
weirdwoodtreehugger:
That’s actually an adorable outfit, but I don’t think it really succeeds as a cheeseburger.
Huh. So all the posts I’ve seen on Tumblr drooling over men ranging from Benedict Cumberbatch to K-pop stars weren’t posted by women, I guess, since women are incapable of knowing what they’re attracted to.
About this bit:
I think I’d paraphrase this as: “There’s no well-defined universal standard that all people use to choose sexual partners. There are a few minimum basic standards that most people share, but a lot of it comes down to individual taste. Parts of it aren’t even rational; they’re completely emotional. If you’re sure that you’re meeting all the basic standards, then you shouldn’t waste a lot of additional time and energy pretending to be something you’re not; it just makes you less desirable.”
That actually makes sense! Do you suppose that someone told him this once, and he wrote it down without understanding it?
@Zero Oh I knew who Amy Schumer was. I was just poking fun at the typos. Hence the air quotes! 🙂
@Kylo Ronin Oh ok sorry :’D
And if we do, we are shallow whores who only want to have man with good looks who is an asshole and not such Nice Guys™ like them.
Hey, I can count enough guys to make 3 cheeseburgers so far this year.
Or would that be a triple cheeseburger?
Also, two of the guys were women, does that count as a vegan soyburguer?
I’m so tired of all this thinking, can’t some dude come over to throw time and resources at me?
I’m guessing women not knowing who we should fuck or who like to look at roughly translates to “I’m a good choice to fuck and women should be attracted to me, but they’re not, therefore they must be irrational!”
It might also be mind bending to him that some people find a variety of things attractive. To use celebrity examples, I like Barack Obama. Alexander Skarsgaard, Lee Byung-hun, Adam Scott, Hal Sparks and Idris Elba. Also the dreaded Brad Pitt. Different body types and different races. How could that be!?