It’s tough to be a Red Piller, apparently. I mean, once a man has mastered the fine art of Red Pillery, he quickly becomes so irresistable to the HB7’s through HB9’s of the world that he needs advice on which of these lovely ladies deserve to be treated to Long Term Relationships (LTR’s) and which deserve only to be plated.
Happily, the good fellows on the Ask The Red Pill subreddit have made this tedious sorting procedure much easier and more scientific, providing numerous examples of “red flags” that men should watch out for in the ladies they’re dating.
Some of their advice is fairly standard relationship advice: avoid manipulative or abusive women, as manipulation and abuse are only ok when Red Pill dudes do them. Other “red flags” are standard Red Pill bugbears like tattoos (never ok for women); dyed hair (it’s only ok to dye hair if you’re, say, a well-known Red Piller with scary grey hairs sprouting in your beard); antidepressants (getting treatment for depression is apparently a terrible thing); and of course getting fat.
But. as a public service, I thought I would share some of the more, well, unique “red flags” that should instantly disqualify women as LTR material. If nothing else, this should be a useful list for any woman who would like to know some simple things they can do to repel Red Pill dudes.
So here, in the words of assorted Red Pillers, are the Top 18 Often Overlooked Red Pill Red Flags for men seeking long-term relationships. If any of the following are true, your potential special lady is actually a filthy whore only good for sex.
1) She uses birth control
2) She has a “squeaky 5 year old voice”
3) She went to law school
4) She has “many bins of chopped carrots in fridge”
5) She doesn’t wear dresses “without being commanded to”
6) She owns a dog
10) She’s two years older than you
11) She “wants to wear [a] slutty bikini to music festival”
15) She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse
17) She previously worked at a flight attendant
18) She “frequently [goes] to the hospital and has family with a history of health issues”
So there you are!
There is, of course. a much shorter Red Pill Red Flag list for women considering a long-term relationship with a guy. There is only one item on this list.
- He gets dating advice from the Red Pill subreddit (or any other Red Pill site)
In a future post I will look in more detail at several of these Red Pill Red Flags.
Sources: The first six in the list come from Red Piller abdada, a frequent maker of red flag lists, in comments here , here, and here, The rest are linked directly to their sources on the Ask The Red Pill subreddit.
Also, there’s the video that did the rounds a couple years ago of the cat who saved her four-year-old owner from an attacking dog.
@ skiriki
That’s an interesting hypothesis. Can you take anything from a guy’s attitude to cats and extrapolate to women? You should call it the “cat whistle” theory.
Personally I’m wary of anyone who claims not to like animals generally. If they say that, I assume they’re also bed wetting arsonists and put them on my personal watch list.
SFHC:
I saw that video at the time, but for some reason I didn’t spot until now that she actually turns sideways and body-slams the dog. I’m even more impressed now.
RE: Medication for depression.
@Ohlmann
I genuinely believe you had a bad experience with medication. This is not uncommon, as finding the right kind for any individual is a matter of trial and sometimes error. You should always talk to your doctor about a bad reaction and if they won’t listen, find a doctor who will. That is of course if you have the mental strenght to do so in the middle of battling issues. It’s not always possible if a person has become paralysed with depression or other mental health issues – in fact it can become downright impossible.
That said, you shouldn’t warn people off medication based on your own bad reaction to them. This is all very, very individual. I’ll elaborate in my following paragraph.
@PI
I strongly encourage you to seek help. While what I said above is true about the error with meds, I myself know people who have gotten help from them. One of my best friends was at a point where she was unable to go to school, but luckily her dad is a psychiatrist and recognised something was going wrong with her. She found the right kind of medication and she is still doing great with its help. She’s got two uni degrees, a job abroad and a great relationship and she said to me she knows she couldn’t have felt normal enough to achieve these if she didn’t have her medication (and occasional therapy). Her diagnosis is BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).
And now my own story with medication.
In my teens my therapist diagnosed me with severe depression. I was very scared of meds (my mother was an abuser of medication) and I didn’t feel like back then there was enough information available for me to take them. I also had severe lack of trust towards doctors, something I found out was common for people with my later diagnosis Bi-polar disorder.
For years I let things just go on like that, I quit therapy and decided I can go forward even if every day felt like walking against a blizzard. Only replace snow with excrement. Getting out of bed I had the mental image of a baby trying to bench 100kg. Eventually it was so bad that I had a full-blown panic attack at a supermarket. I thought it was a heart attack or stroke or my organs giving up or something. Diagnosis unsure but death imminent.
Instead of asking for help or calling an ambulance I stumbled out of the shop and managed not to faint on my walk home.
A week (and SO MUCH GOOGLING) later I realised I might have to get out of the house at some point so I phoned a doctor. Panic disorder was my diagnosis and I was prescribed two meds: one long term one and one sedative for the attacks. Both were a SAVING GRACE. The long-term medication eventually helped me feel better and the recent upping of the dosage has actually made me feel almost normal. I can’t even believe it. I haven’t felt like myself my whole adult life and I’m starting to be *me* again.
Medication is not always a long-term solution and my doctor agrees with me that one day, when my life is in balance, we can see how my own wings fly and cut the dosage gradually until I’m free from chemical help.
(ETA: I have been on medication for a year and a half, it may take some time until you feel better.)
I am not saying things will absolutely be magically better, but there is always the chance and help IS available. I really hope you have the opportunity and strenght to find whatever’s best for you.
Hugs if you want them!
(Spelled that as ‘jugs’. Twice. I’ve never felt Wednsedays.)
I’ve had a very good experience with antidepressents, so I’m not happy with people generically warning against using them. If they aren’t necessary, great, but sometimes they are.
That said, they can have severe and unpredictable side effects, and people need to be monitored closely when starting them. There’s a lot of different ones and they have different effects, so having problems with one doesn’t mean you’ll have any trouble with another, but the only way to find out is trial and error.
I maintain that they’re literally worse than pedophiles. It has nothing to do with a hardwired sexual attraction (the strict definition of pedophile–a broken sexuality that targets prepubescent children); it has everything to do with their obsessive desire for control.
What these guys want is physical maturity but emotional and psychological naivete. They want someone they believe will be more vulnerability to manipulation and domination. They are nothing but social predators.
(Of course, it doesn’t hurt that a woman that much younger than they could also be more easily placed into a situation of financial dependence. Any lever is considered acceptable to this mindset.)
I finally see another reason for there being fewer men coming into equitation as a sport than women. Riding and working at several different stables it became obvious to me there were few men riding in hunt seat, dressage, three day eventing or even open jumping despite all the young datable women. We talked about it and thought it likely men didn’t like that horses required a great deal of empathy and time to learn compared to motorized equipment, despite the thrill riding offered.
Then there was the factor that muscle counts for less. It is not possible to use simple strength to get an animal 10x your size to cooperate willingly. This is why, in this sport, men & women compete together with the horse as the equalizer. It is very likely a man would regularly lose to a woman in competition.
Horses, like dogs & cats, can read expressions and body language so an angry man will trigger a fear reaction or aggressive opposition. This type of person will never do well or even learn how to ride since a cooperative horse is the best instructor. Reading what these men say their negative emotions would be a huge handicap.
Research has shown horses can determine mood, not just across species, but from a photograph of an unknown persons face smiling with bared teeth or frowning with bared teeth. like dogs they use their left eye, right brain, to read this information.
This makes me wonder if this influenced trainers to make the horses left the side , or near side, the side we mount and handle horses from more than how humans and horses tend to be right handed. I used to think we handled them from our dominant side to their less dominant side but now I think we handle them from the side that reassures them we are friendly. Something one of these terpenes couldn’t do.
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/feb/10/horses-can-recognise-human-emotion-new-study-shows
I have mentally dubbed the red pillers terpenes 1) for their interest in their penes and 2) because they emit hate like an offensive odor.
Plants emit compounds as olfactory signals to chemosensing organisms. Some of these volatile compounds are terpenes that signal herbivory damage to other plants & to predatory insects. I like to think these terpene men emitting their writing as warning signals of potential damage.
“Ugh, women are so shallow, wanting tall guys and them to have big d***s.”
Later
“Hey everyone! Check out my very long and very specific list to look for in a woman!”
Tiffany
May Goddess Katie bless you.
And love to all who had to deal with abusive a-holes like these.
GardenGallivant:
The lack of men is puzzlesome, since for a long time horses were the manliest dudebro thing around, and still are in many non-western countries.
Alan Robertshaw:
The surrounding western culture around us seems to link cats and women together, just as much as it does dogs and men (hence why these douchebros would be intimidated by a woman owning a dog); someone I knew told me that as a kid (and she’s not a young one, this goes back to 1960s) she thought that cats and dogs were females and males of the same species, because of the way cats were associated with girls and dogs with boys. I don’t think she’s the only one doing this association — just think of the word “pussy”!
Or that for male cats the word is “tom” and for female dogs “bitch”. Quick — what’s the casual-everyday-use word for female cat or male dog?
Answer: cat and dog.
Why do we differentiate them like that? (“Queen” for a female cat is absolutely not that casual, not like “tomcat” is for a male cat.)
Why women get told not to be “like a (female, default) cat in heat”, whereas it is okay for men to go “tomcatting around”?
So if you meet an absolute-cat-hater-absolute-dog-praiser in western culture, and you’re presenting as female, there’s always a chance that the person doing hating/praising has absorbed all kinds of bad crap about women and men as well.
I’m sticking “western” to this, because that’s what it is — attitudes elsewhere may vary. (Consider ritually pure cats vs ritually impure dogs in Islamic countries; I think it would be interesting to find out animal-based insults — especially gendered versions — all around the world and make some comparisons.)
Me? Cats > dogs. I don’t hate dogs, but I don’t speak their dog-language too well, which is a problem when it comes to getting along. I get along with kitties better, even if I’ve been exposed to both animal types since childhood.
Yes, this is the biggest warning sign of them all.
If someone says “I don’t like Animal X, because I’m allergic to it”, okay, I get it. If someone says “Animal X gives me creeps” or “I’m phobic of Animal X”, well, okay, at least they are saying the problem is theirs. But if someone starts assigning all kinds of malignant attributes to an animal on universal basis as if it is a truth written in stone with spear-depth fiery letters, it is time to back away a notch. And outright hatred of anything that moves? Teleport away, immediately. If that’s not an option, disengage in as safe manner as possible… just don’t run right away.
Skiriki: one of my cats tried to warn me off of the new girlfriend by occasionally sitting next to me on the couch, meowing, then walking off leaving behind a shiny new turd.
Eventually she got over it. Now in the morning the same cat is the one who can’t decide whether to be in my lap or my girlfriend’s.
numerobis:
Well, there is that, and then there’s “puff up the fur, raise the back, and hiss” sort of warning. 😀
Everything depends on how well you know your cat; there’s “I’m displeased that the attention is not on me and you’re lavishing it on another person” dislike, and then there’s “Oh shit, oh SHIT, OH SHIT GET AWAY FROM THIS” dislike.
Crap on a couch is pretty much the former.
I definitely side-eye guys who hate cats. Preferring and identifying with dogs more is no problem, but loathing cats is an issue. These guys are usually sexist. And they’re quite often control freaks. A lot of why they hate cats is because they control them.
“animal-based insults — especially gendered versions” — French allows for “chien” (dog) to be negative, though it usually isn’t (much the same as English). “Chienne” is not as common as its counterpart bitch but means the same, with the same connotations. Its rarity makes it perhaps more insulting.
There’s also “canaille” which has lost its original meaning of a pack of dogs and is now just a slur: a dirty commoner in olden days, now by extension, anybody you don’t like.
No such for cats (“chat”). The dirty-minded will use any furry thing to wink-wink-nudge-nudge mean vagina (via pubic hair) but I’m not coming up with a tight association anywhere.
“Poule mouillée” is a wet chicken — a coward.
“Oh la vache” (oh the cow) is not exactly an insult but an exasperation.
weirwoodtreehugger: Exactly, control is the issue. Especially when they see control in terms of physical power or power use over them. Douchebros are terrified of independence.
And the funny thing is? You can totally “control” and train your cat. You just gotta respect and bond with the cat first. Both things that douchebros don’t seem to get: they’re not entitled to immediate, unconditional love-love-love they (mistakenly) attribute to dogs.
I abso-fuckin-lutely guarantee that if you raise your kitties by hand, treat them as individuals they are, work with their strengths and weaknesses, you will have a loyal cat for life, who expresses their love for you in a cat-way.
The bonding process is somewhat different between dogs and cats, because hell, they are different species with different needs and socialization and hunting modes.
Cats will respect you and bond with you and even have loyalty, but you have to earn it. They love you because they choose to. Unlike with dogs, you can’t train them to respect you. Misogynists hate that because they think they should be entitled to loyalty from a pet. They don’t see it as a two way relationship. Which is of course the same way they see relationships with women.
Skiriki: “puff up the fur, raise the back, and hiss”
True. Mine have never done that to people (or dogs), just to other cats.
Many moons ago the girlfriend of a friend was promptly removed from my residence not for her general pissy attitude but for thinking nobody would notice or care if she tried to kick my cat away when said cat wandered over by her. My cat had a habit of sensing when someone wasn’t a ‘cat person’ and going instantly to begin the work of convincing them otherwise – even the highly allergic found themselves incapable of resisting her (though they weren’t so appreciative of the explosion of cat fur that looked like she’d done a whole body shedding onto them at once) – but not that girl. So she had to go.
The dog I have now is the first dog for me, growing up I had mostly small rodents and one rabbit until around 11 when I got my first cat. After that one had to be put to sleep because of an illness she caught because she was indoor-outdoor and fought with other neighborhood kitties over territory, I vowed to never let a cat of mine to go outdoors no matter what. When I still lived with my parents this was a source of friction but my resolve (and willingness to go as far as to have the cat box in my bedroom if that’s what had to be done to keep my cat indoors only) stayed firm.
Though I only have the experience of 1 dog to go on, I have to say that while it may be possible to train a dog to obey a command and do the thing they’re being commanded to do, it shouldn’t automatically be assumed that the dog is doing this out of respect or that the dog’s loyalty lies with the particular person. People tend to expect more from the animal when they have a dog as a pet, in comparison to when they have a cat. Given that these morons fail to grasp that human interactions are often as unique as they are complex, they probably don’t notice the details involved in human-pet/animal interactions and bonds.
Hello.
I am a bit late on this one, but anyway, let give it a try.
? Ah, yes, the crumbling civilization stuff.
Hmm, ok, i am sorry to say i can not really go against this one as i do not like high pitched voices. But what is a personal taste can not really be a general red flag, can it ?
?? Ah, you fear she can sue you for your abuses with even more efficiency than a non law school woman, ok
??? Are you not transfering to much of your winny on poor carrots ?
??? Are we in the army now ?
Not irrealist, if you are allergic. But, as in your langage, she is a “bitch”, you can expect to have two bitches at home. Woohoo, threesome…
Same thing, even if i never heard of horse hair allergy. Mind you, your good friends PUA may remember you that women doing equitation have some kind of a knack when you-know-what.
…
Ah, i have forgotten that you also have your rule of never ever let a woman be above yourself (literal and figurative, it seems…)
Idem, if you are allergic to Tiffany hair (dyed, obviously).
Oh, you remember your middle school “your mom is so…” jokes ?
? I do not understand the problem here, really
Yeah, it may be a bit out of context at the music festival of an amish ren fair, i give you that
?? Big Brother complex has shattered your trust ? Or maybe there was not trust even at the beginning of the relation ? You also should offer her a electronic bracelet to track her position, with a mic in it in order to monitor what and who she speaks with
Oh, Big Brother and trust issues again, coupled with civilization crumble stuff. I guess you love doing combos in figthing games
??? I do not get the point of this one
Yeah, and as a survivor, she is surely tougher than you, not malleable enough for your seduction tricks, that is understandable
Yeah, she definitively would better live in her parents basement almost all the time, allowing you to have at least a common point. You want your own Natascha Kampusch, it seems…
Yeah, especially if she makes regular flights to Africa, i guess…
Yeah, because it is obvious that nobody in your own family had never had some kind of health issues. Let face it, you would better date a superheroine rather than a human woman, that may simplify the things in term of health issues
So you do not want to be Lord of The Rings with this kind of women ? Do not worry, i think they do not want an Eye of Sauron monitoring everything they do (and have done, and are going to do), thus they do not want your ring. This seems to be a good compromise.
Have a nice day.
This is actually an issue in my house. One of our cats is so protective of me that if I make any sound that she interprets as “pain ” she comes flying into the room and immediately assaults the living thing closest to me that isn’t my spouse. I now have to be very careful because if I so much as stub my toe while near the other cat he becomes the immediate target of a beating.
@maistrechat
Oh dear, that is unfortunate!!
I went through a phase of stubbing my toe a lot. I’m not sure why, I think I just was too careless and didn’t realise how big my feet were, but I did it so often that when I eventually ended up breaking a bone and my whole foot swelled up black and blue, the pain was no worse than usual. It’s truly pain beyond its purpose. The lower legs have the fewest pain receptors, I guess for walking through thorny bushes, spiky grass, etc. A sore toe/foot makes walking very challenging. I guess it makes sense, or we’d all walk until our feet were irreparably damaged.