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#gamergate antifeminism block that metaphor citation needed davis aurini drama kings dude you've got no fucking idea what you're talking about entitled babies evil SJWs grandiosity irony alert men who should not ever be with women ever none dare call it conspiracy post contains sarcasm PUA reactionary bullshit red pill return of kings rhymes with roosh

Davis Aurini takes aim at lizard people, media plotters, and other enemies of Roosh

What is love? Lizard don't hurt me.
What is love? Lizard don’t hurt me.

I realize that most of you are probably feeling as Rooshed-out as I am, and would like to move on to posts with a very low percentage of Roosh content, if any at all.

But I feel I would be remiss not to bring to your attention a post by our old friend, the urban cowboy/white nationalist (on paper) Davis M.J. Aurini, published on Roosh’s Return of Kings site on Friday. Entitled “Why International Meetup Day Was Cancelled,” it is perhaps the dumbest thing anyone has yet or will ever write on the subject.

Mr. Aurini starts off by positing the existence of a vast, Australia-wide media conspiracy against his buddy Roosh, a conspiracy showing the “extreme cunning” of the enemies of all that is good and true:

During Gamgergate [sic] it was revealed that the gaming press were coordinating behind the scenes, deciding which topics would be discussed and promoted, and which ones would be censored and dropped into the memory hole. Given that on February 2nd six nearly identical articles were published throughout the Australian press within hours of one another, all describing Return of Kings as a “Rape Group,” it is a near certainty that the Australian press is similarly controlled by collusion between the reporters on secret message boards.

Emphasis mine.

His proof of this conspiracy is a blurry image showing that a number of Australian papers RAN ARTICLES ABOUT ROOSH WITH IDENTICAL TITLES on the same day.

Which might be evidence of a vast conspiracy amongst Australian journalists except for the fact that all of the newspapers in question are owned by the same media conglomerate and regularly run the exact same articles as one another, much in the way that newspapers across the US regularly run identical stories by the Associated Press.

A conspiracy so immense that proof of it is blurry!
A conspiracy so immense that proof of it is blurry!

Indeed, if you look carefully at the blurry proof Aurini offers as proof of conspiracy, you’ll see that some of the papers in question also ran identical articles on what Myers and David Jones — apparently big Australian department store chains? — are planning to do to usher in a new fashion season.

I’m pretty sure that even the most cunning SJWs could not dream up a conspiracy so deliciously eeeevil that it would require not only media manipulation of news about Roosh but also unanimity of coverage on Australian department store fashion as well.

Don’t anyone mention this to Aurini, but I have proof that NEARLY IDENTICAL “WIZARD OF ID” COMICS are running today in newspapers around the world! COLLUSION AT ITS MOST NEFARIOUS!!!

Aurini then offers this, well, unique explanation of the behavior of Roosh’s enemies, which for some reason involves flocks of lizard people.

The behaviour we’ve witnessed over the past week is perfectly explained by flocks of narcissists, organized online, exercising vicious cunning with a human’s capacity for abstract thought. They are the metaphorical lizard people, dressed in skin suits, unreasonable and unrepentant.

Lizard people, you say?

Their goal is pandemonium. So long as it is chaotic, degraded, cheap, infectious, and ugly, they will endorse it, and they will use any tactic to achieve it: violence, lies, false philosophies, and pretend victimhood. They will be crying and vulnerable one moment, and coldly murderous the next. They are vicious, they are legion, and they’re organized as only animals who have known sin could possibly be.

We see you.

So apparently Aurini has discovered peyote?

Aurini continues bumbling his way through more failed metaphors, at one point declaring that

Through introspection we will hear the voice of our conductor, and learn what song it is that we are meant to sing.

After saying a whole lot of nothing, he winds up the piece with a warning for all of us lizard people who’ve been so darn mean to poor old Roosh.

A final word for all of those who attacked us, slandered us, and threatened us; we, the men who would defend you against those who would enslave and exploit you; we who fight, not for ourselves, but for the future.

Alas, Aurini’s “final word” is actually several hundred.

We will remember who you are, and we are a larger chorus than you know.

That ex-boyfriend who stole your heart? One of us. That charming married man at your office, with the beautiful wife? One of us. That wise mentor who helped you more than you’ll than you’ll ever know? One of us.

Huh. I rather doubt that the lesbian cultural history professor I had as an advisor in grad school — if anyone was ever my mentor, it was probably her — reads Return of Kings.

The battle for civilization will be neither quick nor easy. We will win, but not without great struggle and many casualties amongst those who refused to pick a side. So remember something: when you or your womenfolk are being viciously assaulted and raped by third world savages whom you defended while decrying us—or by some gestapo thug, whom you empowered to oppress us, their breath rancid with garlic and rotting teeth—

That is the future you chose by standing against men of virtue.

Yep, another far-right fantasy of a righteous apocalypse that will put all of us SJWs in their place. I’m just a little surprised to see Aurini — a white nationalist Holocaust denier who has more than a few kind things to say about Hitler — depicting the Gestapo as the bad guys.

 

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Ktoryx
Ktoryx
4 years ago

Oh good, Davis Aurini is weighing in! What a relief, I really wanted Davis Aurini’s sound opinions on this issue. Why, only this morning I said to myself, “Self,” I said, “I really don’t know how I will form an opinion on this complex and nuanced discussion without Davis Aurini’s rational-minded guidance. His analyses are always intellectual and relevant, as is he himself, an intellectual and relevant public figure. Yes, I do hope he takes a break from skull massaging and excellent, award-winning documentary filmmaking to give us his take on this most pressing issue.”

And Davis Aurini did not disappoint, providing us with an article that is as reasonable as it is well-written. He cut through the panic and exaggeration to provide us with an angle that is cool, collected, and level-headed, as only the great Davis Aurini can provide. Yes, when I’m looking for a white guy to tell me what to think, I am always, always grateful that Davis Aurini is there with his comforting and trustworthy presence and his excellent taste in fashion, scotch, and skulls.

Perhaps Aurini will provide us with some more opinions in the near future? I do hope so. What clothes should I wear, Mr. Aurini? Which of my behaviours makes me a reprehensible slut, Mr. Aurini? Please, I know you have so much to bring to the world of documentary filmmaking, but I really need you opinions on things, so if you could take a break from all that painstaking editing and visionary directing, I would really love all of your opinions on all the things.

Thanks Davis, I’m your #1 fan.

Scaly Llama
Scaly Llama
4 years ago

@Hu’s On First

You know who else believes in lizard people?

How do you know my cousin??

😜

Mish Singh
Mish Singh
4 years ago

Shit, Aurini has found us out. I must run and warn all the other Australians. We thought we’d gotten away with it. Dammit.
But first I must hide my lizard suit.
Thanks for the heads-up!
Mish

Paradoxical Intention
4 years ago

@Ktoryx:

comment image

Damn. That’s some fucking venomous sarcasm right there.

Wetcasements
4 years ago

He’ s just jealous that Roosh lives in a luxurious suburban mom’s basement while he lives in the dumpster next to Oscar the Grouch’s.

the quai
the quai
4 years ago

He’ s just jealous that Roosh lives in a luxurious suburban mom’s basement while he lives in the dumpster next to Oscar the Grouch’s.

Dude, I think Oscar’s even more uspet because there goes his neighborhood.

*singsongs* Can you tell me how to get rid of Davis Auriniiii?

Dreadnought
Dreadnought
4 years ago

Can you tell me how to get rid of Davis Auriniiii?

Oh! I know! You tell Aurini that Roosh skinned his knee, then while he’s running to save Roosh you push his dumpter into a ravine!

Inkswitch
4 years ago

“Which might be evidence of a vast conspiracy amongst Australian journalists except for the fact that all of the newspapers in question are owned by the same media conglomerate and regularly run the exact same articles as one another, much in the way that newspapers across the US regularly run identical stories by the Associated Press.”

Okay, so this isn’t the massive conspiracy that this MRA dingbat thinks it is, but the idea of the so-called ‘free press’ getting their orders from some massive corporation whose only concern is profit is a pretty worrying thought.

abars01
abars01
4 years ago

The way I see it, moments of brain-stabbing, inexplicable, ‘da-fuck-is-dis-shit’ weirdness like this are what make American right-wingers worthwhile these days. I don’t think I could stomach the anger, hatred, narcissism, bloodlust, racism and sexism that emanates from them these days unless I could occasionally chortle over them saying that the “transgender community” was going to suck God from people’s brains with magnets, or that Obama was going to commit white Genocide because the Mayans prophesized it, or that evolution can’t be true because otherwise we’d be able to talk to monkeys, or so on. (These are all things they’ve actually said, by the way. Look em’ up.)

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his, she/her pronouns)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his, she/her pronouns)
4 years ago

I’ve never before seen so many tears of joy shed over pronouns.

Take a bow, pronouns!

I legitimately teared up IRL. I just get happy when people decide to explore their gender identity.

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/ido.gif

I’m just so proud. I’m proud of you, Petal, I’m proud.

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/crying-man.gif

So proud.

marinerachel
marinerachel
4 years ago

This is making me think of the Rachel Ingalls book, Mrs. Caliban. Though Larry is amphibious, not reptilian.

Either way, women and creatures with bad reputation oppressing men. Brings a tear to my eye it’s so beautiful.

http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1328055351l/285591.jpg

Imaginary Petal (formerly dhag85, trying out pronouns - they/their)
Imaginary Petal (formerly dhag85, trying out pronouns - they/their)
4 years ago

Aww Panda. Thank you for inspiring me and all. 🙂

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
4 years ago

Someone should create a civilisation that’s run by Elam and one that’s run by Roosh; and Roosh can have Aurini as his special unit.

Well, Elam was actually an ancient kingdom* in Middle East, and Daryush is apparently an ancient Persian royal name.

*Located, IIRC, near Akkad. King Sargon of Akkad – King Paul of Elam?

Moggie
Moggie
4 years ago

Inkswitch:

Okay, so this isn’t the massive conspiracy that this MRA dingbat thinks it is, but the idea of the so-called ‘free press’ getting their orders from some massive corporation whose only concern is profit is a pretty worrying thought.

But it’s not a new thought, is it? To read Aurini, you’d think that he’d just uncovered this problem, but in fact people have been concerned about this since the 19th century, and possibly before. I’m thinking of William Randolph Hearst in particular.

On this subject, Aurini ought to watch Citizen Kane. As a fellow film-maker, he could learn a lot from the master. Orson Welles knew all the keyboard shortcuts.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

@Ktoryx:

comment image

That is some magnificent sarcasm right there. I hope I never piss you off.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

We will remember who you are, and we are a larger chorus than you know.

. . . That wise mentor who helped you more than you’ll than you’ll ever know? One of us.That wise mentor who helped you more than you’ll than you’ll ever know? One of us.

Ha, ha, Aurini!

When has a member of the manosphere ever, ever helped anyone without expecting something in return? When has a manospherian ever been wise? Or helped someone anonymously? Don’t make me laugh.

Also, this wise, anonymous helper? He’s now threatening the person he once helped, not to mention anyone else who holds that person’s views.

Yeah, he’s truly wise and modest and wants only the best for others–so we’d better not make him mad, or unspecified awful things will happen. You’ve been reading the Bible, haven’t you? And you’re pretty sure that the manosphere is God.

You’d better cut back on the iced tea.

Newt
Newt
4 years ago

OK, I’m done laughing at the first batch of excerpts and am going back for more.

We accept the responsibilities of masculinity; we accept the necessity of
law and order; and we accept the bracing cold wind of working without a net.

That and $2 will buy you a cup of coffee.

Did he miss a sentence there? Or is he acknowledging that his masculine ideals, especially the “bracing cold wind”, are nothing but hot air?

Moggie
Moggie
4 years ago

and we accept the bracing cold wind of working without a net

He’s not very good at metaphors, is he? A net isn’t very effective at protecting you from a cold wind, on account of being full of holes. This is kind of inherent in its nettitude.

Ghost Robot
Ghost Robot
4 years ago

So much Dunning-Kruger in this rant, I don’t know where to begin. You’d think Aurini would have heard of media conglomerates before, surely. Then again, if he believes in Lizard People (actual/metaphorical), I guess he is likely to perceive an invisible hand behind everything.

You’ve gotta laugh at the right’s obsession with a non-existent “clash of civilizations.” I’ve managed to enrage more than a few right-wingers by pointing out that their politics aren’t that far removed from the (currently) ISIS thugs that they claim to despise. Point out that it’s – at most – a clash of conservatisms (probably not a word, but whatever) and they lose their shit. It’s amazing how many white, western conservatives actually think that extremist groups like ISIS are left wing. Nuance, eh?

Carayak
Carayak
4 years ago

Davis Aurini makes the rest of us folks with fake skulls on our bookshelves look bad. Also, every other group he’s a part of.

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
4 years ago

I work at a media conglomerate. The process is this:

1. At one location, the news team meets and decides what stories they need to fill up the space in their paper. Generally this is whatever will be most interesting to the readers, though importance and urgency also play a role. Some regard is also given to video and online stories.

2. They make a list.

3. The list is combined and sent to all the sister papers.

4. The sister papers decide what stories they need to fill up the *rest* of the space in their paper. Some regard is also given to video and online stories.

5. Everybody prints and puts their website up.

That’s it. Apart from the list the properties don’t usually even talk to each other, because each property knows its own audience best. It’s not a conspiracy, it’s a blank page that needs stuff on it.

Robjec
Robjec
4 years ago

I don’t get the garlic breath line. Can someone explain it to me?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ jarnsaxa

I used to do the legal stuff for a particular newsgroup. It was fascinating to see how a paper is put together. (The most interesting thing I found, was how they had a guy who literally *drew* a mock up of the entire paper complete with photos).

But your comments about how editorial decisions are made really resonates. As a sub editor once explained to me “lucky that there’s always exactly 88 pages worth of news every day”

(I loved the little bits you’d get in the unfinished paper saying things like “put some stuff about Beyonce here”)

Ghost Robot
Ghost Robot
4 years ago

@Inkswitch The Fairfax imprint is actually pretty limited. Of those five mastheads Aurini screencapped, only two (Melbourne’s The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald) are actual newspapers. The others are web-only as Perth, Adelaide and Canberra are considered too small to support more than one exisiting daily newspaper. Their news sites are almost identical in content (state-based news aside) and stories generally trend evenly between each city, unless a state politician does something particularly foolish on a given day. This story even gained major traction in the right-wing Murdoch papers in Australia, which is pretty remarkable given their track record. Fairfax is comparatively progressive (though they’ve given plenty of column inches to woman hating relationship columnist Bettina Ardnt in the past) but I think this story spread because it really hit a nerve, not because of corporate agendas.

Newt
Newt
4 years ago

I don’t get the garlic breath line. Can someone explain it to me?

I think it’s a mixture of European stereotypes (Gestapo – German, garlic – French, rotting teeth – British). Because “European” is one of the many groups of people that scare Aurini.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ newt

rotting teeth – British

It is an odd stereotype that one because we apparently, as a population, have some of the best teeth in the world. We do have socialised dentistry (albeit getting harder to access) and fluoridated water after all.

I wonder if it’s because there’s a bit of piss taking against people who bleach their teeth to unnatural whiteness?

Newt
Newt
4 years ago

I wonder if it’s because there’s a bit of piss taking against people who bleach their teeth to unnatural whiteness?

My own theory, backed up by no studies whatsoever, is that the stereotype came about among people who were used to seeing bleached teeth, and only ever noticed unbleached teeth in old British films. Media from many other countries didn’t get the same attention because it’s in another language (so they’d be looking at the subtitles, if watching at all), and anything recent (since we got an NHS/stopped rationing) went unremarked.

Valentine
Valentine
4 years ago

Odd how he’s talking about a big conspiracy in thw Australian press when Rupert Merdoch is just over in the other corner chilling out with his media empire -_-

Moggie
Moggie
4 years ago

Alan:

I used to do the legal stuff for a particular newsgroup. It was fascinating to see how a paper is put together. (The most interesting thing I found, was how they had a guy who literally *drew* a mock up of the entire paper complete with photos).

Did you ever get to see the inside of a printing plant? A guy from the Guardian gave me a tour of their plant, many years ago. Quite impressive – though perhaps I’m too easily impressed by big loud machines and huuuge rolls of newsprint.

Monzach
Monzach
4 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw

I find the jokes on the expense of people who have had their teeth whitened, so very beloved of British comedians, to be pretty hit-and-miss at the best of times. I mean, the joke used to be pretty funny way back in 2010 when I first saw the joke made on Top Gear (Richard “The Hamster” Hammond being the butt of the joke), but it stopped being funny quite quickly. And of course now it’s fairly difficult to find a comedy program hosted by Jimmy Carr (ie. nearly all of them) where someone doesn’t point out the host’s gleaming teeth… ô.Ô

Moggie
Moggie
4 years ago

Ah well, Monzach, the mistake you’ve made there is watching Top Gear or Jimmy Carr.

Also, he isn’t even a real hamster!

Kale
Kale
4 years ago

know what I love about the lizard people conspiracy? even if its totally trie that lizard people exist, its still pretty bigoted to assume that they are therefore evil. Its like, we discovered gay people secretly exist and turned out, not evil. Its just racism masquerading as species-ism. imagine if a (I dont know how to put it besides “more evolved”, which is totally incorrect, but)species like humans (drastically environment altering?) existed that happened to be reptillian, whether from this planet or another – there would certainly be bigots spreading hate propaganda against them. Yet those assumptions would almost assuredly be (at least) mosty untrue. If lizard people existed they would probably be just as good as humans. Hopefully better.

Kale
Kale
4 years ago

augh *trUe

Dreadnought
Dreadnought
4 years ago

@Arctic

Well, Elam was actually an ancient kingdom

The kingdom of Elam was decisive in ending the third and final Sumerian empire after Elamites sacked the ancient capital of Ur.

Daryush is apparently an ancient Persian royal name

Daryush is an alternate form of the modern Persian name for Darius – yes, that Darius.

Moggie
Moggie
4 years ago

#notalllizards

Monzach
Monzach
4 years ago

@Moggie

Yeah, all I can say is that I was young and foolish back then…and now I’m getting middle-aged and still foolish. 😀 I’m trying to cut back on watching second-tier comedy stuff these days, the problem is that even bad British comedy is head and shoulders above anything locally produced…

Valentine
Valentine
4 years ago

@dreadnaught
Which darius?

The Conductor
The Conductor
4 years ago

THIS IS THE VOICE OF THE CONDUCTOR

http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/captainscarlet/images/7/72/Mysterons.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20090328220257

Hi there!

Here to clear up a little embarrassing thing that’s going on at the moment.

Well, you see, there was something of a mess up in our secret base on the Moon, and we’ve been beaming down messages of love and respect and good will (totally not secret plans to weaken you and then take over the world) when we realized that there was some kind of error in the communication.

It appears that if us Lizard People totally fluffy Tribbles broadcast hilariously OTT ironic thoughts that a section of your population takes them seriously.

This has lead to a bit of a quandary for us:

One section of the Lizard People totally fluffy Tribbles view this as annoying and somewhat precluding our totally benign plans of world domination from coming to fruition.

Sadly, the larger section of the Lizard People totally fluffy Tribbles have taken this to be a form of entertainment and there are now nightly contests on how far we can push this.

In actuality, this is fairly spooky.

Barring the obvious admittance of total irrelevancy:

Cancelling the happy hour was nothing more than a tactical retreat in the face of overwhelming odds

Yes, those crowds of under 100 people are overwhelming odds, and that should probably make you think (this is in no way derogatory to the people willing to get out in the cold and show faces).

There’s something much worse going on.

I’ve never heard of this person before (although I’ve cursorily touched articles here on occasions just to get a head’s up of who or what Name X is), but he does appear to be channeling a rhetorical stance.

One that’s used entirely ironically / sarcastically elsewhere.

But, yes: I’m afraid our author has a strong case of the plagiarism, and he’s channeling someone (or something… dum dum durr) who really doesn’t share his world-view. In fact, who is almost in total opposition to it.

p.s.

“#WeSeeYou”. You’ve a choice between Police/Military support, an (alleged – who knows with Twitter?) rabid TERF using a gerbil / hamster as an avatar or basketball.

I’m guessing he’s attempting to riff off the back of the Police use, given his military pretensions.

Um. Isn’t that “stolen honor” or something?

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
4 years ago

@pandapool, @petal,

Seconded :3 It is so nice to see.

occasional reader
occasional reader
4 years ago

Hello.

Oh, the Reptilian conspiracy theory… But why stopping to the media only ? Other conspirationists give a broader range to it, including government and all as disguised reptilian. Such a small player, Aurini…

And for those who like Reptilians, there is one at the end of the “Foil” clip from Weird Al Yankovic.

Have a nice day.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Kale

If lizard people existed they would probably be just as good as humans. Hopefully better.

Yes! They talk that way because right-wingers always, always need an enemy, even if that enemy is fictional. It’s what they do. It’s who they are.

Kale
Kale
4 years ago

@Kat
exactly.
that and its a metaphor for antisemtism generally

Unlucky Blackjack
Unlucky Blackjack
4 years ago

Oh for fuck’s sake! Why do they always write like that? Every one of these guys. They write like a teenager writing a paper that he has to do in one night because he procrastinated: with so much pseudo-style and dramatics that you can’t see what little substance is underneath. It’s like they hear dramatic music that no one else does. They fumble more metaphors than Brett Favre fumbled footballs. Plus, these type of writers can’t ever just get to the point. They go on and on like they are being paid by the word count. They could turn a flyer for a missing cat into a door-stopping trilogy. Ayn Rand gets to the point faster than these guys. AYN FUCKING RAND. Also, I learned whenever some says that they have a final word, it’s okay to assume that they have not yet begun to speak.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Unlucky Blackjack
Yes, yes, yes! And so well stated.

And I don’t mind repeating myself here–I apologize to those who’ve read it already–they do it because otherwise they’d have nothing to say. A blank page. ‘Cause the truth would make them look really bad. It’s the lizard people or nothing.

@Kale
I didn’t know that “lizard people” was a stand-in for anti-Semitism. Thanks for pointing that out.