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Weirdo billionaire: Trump is like the drunk gal you pick to go home with at closing time

Ernie
Ernie Bloch: Wants to buy Trump a drink

Raw Story’s David Edwards has a great little post up highlighting one Trump supporter’s unique explanation of why he supports that terrible, terrible man.

Ernie Boch Jr., billionaire CEO of Subaru New England, offered his take on Trump in an appearance on CNN earlier today. Taking a look at him, you might assume that he’s supporting Trump out of a feeling of solidarity for a fellow billionaire with bad hair.

Nah. He has a somewhat different, if no less silly, explanation.

You’ve got to think of it like this, it’s 2 o’clock in the morning and there’s a few girls at the bar, you have to go home with one of them. So, you have to pick who you are with. And I think that Mr. Trump is the best qualified.

That’s right. Trump is the political equivalent of the drunk gal you approach at a bar two minutes before closing time. Trump is Ms. Right Now.

When CNN’s Chris Cuomo asked him to explain this rather unique take on Trump, Boch insisted that

If you’re single you understand this. You know, it’s the end of the night, you want to go home with somebody. You know, the bar is about to close. You have to pick somebody! You have to pick somebody!

Here’s the whole interview:

Huh. I guess Trump gets the supporters he deserves.

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katz
8 years ago

Voting for Donald Trump is like when you go with a guy you met in a bar to play cards at his house and when you get there, there is a giant, and I do mean giant swastika flag on the wall and he and his roommates start playing hate rock and you wonder if you’re going to be murdered for having Barrack Obama and Keith Ellison campaign buttons on your purse.

Yes. This actually happened to me.

O.O

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his, she/her pronouns)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his, she/her pronouns)
8 years ago

Voting for Donald “I think I am a nice person” Trump is like when you go with a guy you met in a bar to play cards at his house and when you get there, there is a giant, and I do mean giant swastika flag on the wall and he and his roommates start playing hate rock and you wonder if you’re going to be murdered for having Barrack Obama and Keith Ellison campaign buttons on your purse.

Yes. This actually happened to me.

You live quite the exciting life sometimes, don’t you?

Nequam
Nequam
8 years ago
Moggie
Moggie
8 years ago

Dude looks kinda like The Dude. You know, Hid Dudeness, Duder, or El Duderino, if you’re not into the whole brevity thing?

Lordcrowstaff
Lordcrowstaff
8 years ago

The only question is: who’s the one getting screwed here?

Bernardo Soares
Bernardo Soares
8 years ago

@ Moggie:

Leave the Dude out of this. This guy might look like him, but he seems more the type who pisses on your rug.

Which might be a good metaphor about how the people who vote for Trump feel after he’s elected President. “He peed on my rug!”

And it really tied the room together.

Moggie
Moggie
8 years ago

Say what you want about the tenets of National Trumpism, at least it’s an ethos.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
8 years ago

Well, this analogy is at best unflattering to the whole current batch of candidates.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
8 years ago

Moggie and Bernardo, you two have made my day.

Newt
Newt
8 years ago

Trump is like that guy that you’re standing next to while waiting for the band to start because the room’s really crowded and you don’t want to move, and you’re trying to keep the conversation light and harmless, and in the middle of a discussion about trigonometry he finds a way to drop a racist slur.

No, wait, that guy at least managed to look apologetic and backpedal a bit when I gave him a “rly?” stare.

Olive O'Sudden
Olive O'Sudden
8 years ago

You’d think that a billionaire wouldn’t have to settle for the last ‘girls’ in the bar, and could afford to hire a sex worker whom he finds attractive. Or, you know, a politician who would blow him.

RosaDeLava
RosaDeLava
8 years ago

Voting for Trump is like when a drunk person at the bar starts dancing at you, and you start dancing back because you’re sacared that otherwise they are going to hurt you with their dancing, but they end up hitting you in your face multiple times anyway.

Valentine
Valentine
8 years ago

@wwth
I liked your story when I thought it was about meeting a giant…then the Nazis happen X(

Bernardo Soares
Bernardo Soares
8 years ago

Big Lebowski as Political Metaphor, part 2:

starring Rand Paul as “The Nihilist” and Ted Cruz as “The Ferret”

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llvip5Yath1qijfqzo1_400.gif

Bernardo Soares
Bernardo Soares
8 years ago

@wwth:

o.O

I can’t even imagine. My one question is: who won the card game?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

“Mark Roosh as a zero!!!!”

ETA: moggie & Bernardo – yours were much better.

Chaos-Engineer
Chaos-Engineer
8 years ago

OK. Suppose I’m a billionaire, and I want to vote for the candidate who will be the most beneficial for me and maybe my friends and family, and I don’t care about anyone else.

I wouldn’t vote for Trump, because he’s a loose cannon and God only knows what he’ll do if he gets elected. And I wouldn’t vote for Cruz, because he’s made it clear that he wants to wreck the economy out of spite.

But I still have a lot of candidates to choose from! My top tier would be Rubio, Christie, and Kasich. And maybe Bush if I owned some businesses that would benefit from starting a war with Iran. I’d probably go with Rubio since he’s the only one polling above 10%, but they’ve all four got proven histories of being billionaire-friendly.

I don’t see why this guy needs to be a reluctant Trump supporter when he has so many better options to choose from. Is it just that he hates immigrants more than he likes making money? That’s a violation of the Billionaire’s Code!

Bina
Bina
8 years ago

Voting for Donald Trump is like that bad case of hepatitis A you caught while drinking in a Mexican dive bar. You thought you’d be smart by avoiding the water, but you forgot all about the ice cubes. Oops! Turns out that virus doesn’t get killed by being frozen, and now you have the poops on top of your hangover. And a risk of getting cirrhosis down the line. Was it worth it?

And more to the point: How does someone stupid enough to vote for a Donald Fucking Trump get to be a billionaire? Just more proof that capitalism doesn’t favor intelligence, nor does it foster it.

AJ Milne
AJ Milne
8 years ago

Best. Comments. Thread. Ever.

snork maiden
8 years ago

‘Best of a Bad Bunch’

Well that’s a campaign slogan we can all get behind.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

It’s interesting to view the US election for this side of the pond. From a Brit perspective it seems the only real choice is between Hillary or Bernie. I’m not saying that only Democrats can ever be electable. It’s just that the *entire* (and that’s what’s weird, it’s not just an outlier or two) of the Republican candidates are so out there. It’s bewildering that they can even be a plausible option. Anyone standing on their platform over here would be one of those slightly weird chaps who you see standing at the back of the real candidates on election night and polling like 27 votes.

Idealists (and I don’t mean that in a pejorative way, I think The US would be fine under Bernie) can vote Bernie and pragmatists (again, don’t mean anything by that, just people who think that a small c conservative approach to things like the economy and foreign policy are priorities) can vote Hillary. She’s not going to hand over the keys of the country to the Soviets or anything but she’s not evil on social issues.

From this side of the pond it seems you’ve really got a centre left candidate and a centre right candidate, and then a bunch of joke candidates.

Falconer
8 years ago

Pic: A hand, fingers spread, held parallel to the ground and rocked slightly back and forth.

Text: Donald Trump: Enh

Falconer
8 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw: At the risk of Yankeesplaining, it’s because the Overton Window has been pushed so far to the right that Trump can court fascism and a guy who wants us to have the same health care as every other developed nation is practically Lenin. Part of it is the politicians, part of it is party leaders, and part of it is radio talkers like Limbaugh and Hannity.

They all have said, for the past thirty years, whenever a Republican has lost an election, that it was because the candidate wasn’t Republican enough. The Republican Party cannot fail; it can only be failed. The guy who lost was so wishy-washy that the base just didn’t turn out for him. So, every election cycle, the candidates try to be the right-most.

(The Base has no problem with paying for the largest fucking military the Earth has ever seen, bar none, but they really hate the idea of sharing out medical costs even though we’d be healthier as a whole if everybody could get the treatments they need. They say it’s Personal Responsibility. I’d ask them why they’re relying on the Armed Forces to keep themselves safe, but they’re probably packing heat.)

Amused
8 years ago

You’ve got to think of it like this, it’s 2 o’clock in the morning and there’s a few girls at the bar, you have to go home with one of them.

What kind of an ubermensch says something like this? How pitiful. Every self-respecting big-time thick-walleted swinging **** knows, if it’s 2 o’clock in the morning and there’s a few girls at the bar, you go home with ALL OF THEM.

Second — I know there are people who have a really hard time getting partners, but by and large, most people get laid from time to time. It’s not really that big a deal. So it truly puzzles me that so many men boast of their — frankly, squalid — encounters, as if they were major achievements and we should all be jealous. It’s like boasting that you took an elephant-sized dump and expecting people to envy you.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ falconer

Splain away! I love learning about stuff.

I was thinking Overton Window. It’s funny, I think both Hillary or Bernie could stand over here as either Conservatives or Blairite Labour. Bernie could probably just about squeeze in as Corbyn Labour (it’s funny that in the US he’s seen as practically Leninist whereas here he could be a Tory.)