UPDATE: Roosh has announced that he is cancelling all the meetups. For more see my post here.
Numerous We Hunted the Mammoth operatives have informed me that Roosh Valizadeh, the pickup artist and rape legalization proponent who is apparently trying to start a second career as a “neomasculine” cult leader of sorts, is planning dozens of meetups around the world, from Birmingham, Alabama to Taiwan, all scheduled for next Saturday.
While the meetups aren’t literally secret, Roosh is organizing them like a CIA operative planning covert ops. Or at least like a ten-year-old boy playing secret agent.
On his blog, he tells his fans that in each city where a meetup is planned,
Hosts have been instructed to wait at the meeting point from 8:00-8:20pm before moving on to the final location. If you arrive at the meeting point at 8:21pm, you will miss the meetup. Arriving on time within the window is absolutely paramount.
Ok, Secret Roosh Spy Army: Write “be on time” on a post-it note. Memorize it. Then eat the post-it note.
If you find you cannot memorize these instructions the first time, prepare and eat as many post-it notes are necessary until you can recite the instructions out loud without referring to your notes. NOTE: Do not actually recite the instructions out loud, as feminist spies may be lurking nearby.
To identify your fellow tribesmen, ask the following question to a man you suspect is there for the meetup: “Do you know where I can find a pet shop?” If you are asked this question, answer in the affirmative: “Yes, it’s right here.”
Ah, the old “where’s the pet shop” ploy, one of the all time spy classics!
You can then introduce yourself and get details about where to proceed at 8:20. If you ask someone for the pet shop and they appear confused or actually try to direct you to a real pet shop, they’re not there for the meetup.
If the person you have spoken to looks like they might be a secret feminist, and giggles at you, YOUR MISSION HAS BEEN COMPROMISED! Shout “abort, abort! The pet shop has a sale on canaries!’
This will alert any other Roosh agents in the area that your cover has been blown. Flee the scene immediately, preferably with your hands waving in the air above your head, shrieking.
In another post, Roosh answers some questions that have come up about his super seekrit meetups.
First off: There will be no girls allowed!
Q: Can I bring a female friend, girlfriend, lover, or wife?
A: Absolutely not. This meeting is for heterosexual men only.Q: Can I come if I’m a homosexual or transsexual?
A: No. This is a meeting for heterosexual men only.Q: What should we do if a pretty girl shows up and begs to be a fly on the wall?
A: Get her number and then tell her to buzz off. Do not allow women to attend the meeting.
Do you see what he did there in the last answer? The bit about buzzing off? BECAUSE FLIES BUZZ.
Q: What if crazy feminists show up?
A: Record them with your camera, upload the footage to Dropbox, and then send it to me at [email protected] afterwards so we can tear them up. If accosted during the meetup, travel to the final venue in pairs or triplets using an indirect route so the final location is not compromised (make sure you are not followed).
I’m sorry, I have to post this:
Secret Roosh Agents need to be constantly alert!
Q: Have the hosts been vetted? What if they are a secret feminist agent?
A: Again, this has never happened before, so the risk is minuscule. If you remain anxious or fearful of green-haired female activists or male feminists, simply don’t give out your last name or company name during the meetup.
Alternately, and I’m not sure why Roosh didn’t suggest this, give a fake name. Some suggestions, mostly borrowed from here:
- Bo Nerr
- Cole Onnick
- Dick C. Normus
- Dougie Style
- Homer Sexual (Note: May get you kicked out of the meetup. See above.)
- Lou Stools
- Max E. Pad
- Frank Lee Underwhelmedbythesefakenames
And then there’s the question that every new organization faces:
Q: Is this a white nationalist meetup?
A: No. This is a meetup for men of all races and backgrounds who read ROK and my blog. The Tribal Meeting is not a white nationalist organization.
And one more little clarification:
Q: Do permanent tribes have a consistent message that ensures purity of neomasculine thought during the meetings?
A: There is no universal program. Each tribe is encouraged to interpret neomasculinity to suit their local and immediate needs.
ALL HAIL ROOSH PROPHET OF NEOMASCULINITY
Oops, almost forgot this one!
Q: Are you concerned that agents within the various Alphabet Soup groups (CIA, FBI, NSA, CID, NCIS, ETC) may try to infiltrate the tribal meetup?
A: The tribe is apolitical and does not attempt to challenge governmental authority, so I don’t believe we’ll be targeted for infiltration. That said, keep an eye on possible agent provocateurs who advocate for illegal activities out of the blue.
For example, this man, who has been known to advocate making rape legal on private property.
Oh, and bring your cameras!
Up to now, the enemy has been able to exert their power by isolating us and attacking with shrieking mobs, but we’ll be able to neutralize that tactic by amassing in high numbers come February 6. I will exact furious retribution upon anyone who challenges you in public on that date (remember to record them).
As it turns out, there’s a meetup in Chicago that I could make it to without too much trouble. I plan to attend disguised as a pet store.
How exactly would I pull this off? Well, this woman accidentally cosplayed a hotel, so I think I could manage.
Stay safe everyone! And stock up on fake mustaches.
Okay, I’m not exactly cheering for Cruz’s victory here, but this is damn funny. Hooray for Trump supporter tears!
https://youtu.be/29r0ACgZgQA
Okay, I’ll stop with the election stuff now.
Ashara Payne,
I’ve considered looking for an ASOIAF/GoT meetup in my area. I do know a lot of people who are in to one or both, but not really to the extent that I am. It might be fun to go have some full on geekery about it without the expense of a con. Not to mention the sort of implicit pressure to cosplay. I’m way too lazy and untalented to bother with that!
A lot of the surnames belong to people of the aristocratic persuasion. Place names I ain’t got a bloody clue.
WightKarsi
Totally agree. I’m way too lazy to cosplay. I make do with online chat.
@ dreadnought
We seem to have pitched up in England sometime in the Fifteenth Century (or at least we could afford headstones by then) and pretty much stayed in the West Riding of Yorkshire since. Presumably we’re not good travellers. When I meet other Robertshaws in different parts they usually don’t have to go back further than their grandparents before they’re Yorkshire again.
Family history is interesting, but it doesn’t define you (I’m reminded of the Heinlein quote about meeting a lizard who was “brontosaurus on his mother’s side”. We can stand on the shoulders of others perhaps but ultimately it’s what we do personally that makes us what we are.
@ WWTH
Interactive graphs if you like that sort of thing…
http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/live/2016/feb/01/iowa-caucus-vote-live-donald-trump-ted-cruz-bernie-sanders-hillary-clinton-2016
@ ashara
Yeah, ‘Menzies’ is another one (Mingies; but not the newsagents apparently)
@ ashara & WWTH
If you don’t want to make your own stuff my mate makes things to order (plug, plug)
She’s always trying to get me to watch Games of Thrones. Here she is as that dragon lass (one of her own builds)
http://www.deviantart.com/art/Daenerys-Targaryen-368339934
It’s a shame I already have plans that day. I would totally go, under the pseudonym “Chad McBiscuits”. FYI if you do meet an actual Chad McBiscuits, it’s not me.
…Or is it?
….It’s not.
Thanks Alan. Do watch it, it is fab! Books are even better, but it’s best to watch first, as if you read the books first you’ll be increasingly disappointed (season 5 differs the most, season 2 also varies a fair bit).
WWTH sorry for addressing you incorrectly, I had thirty seconds to edit, and didn’t think I had time to type your full name. Didn’t think of initials. Here is an entertaining discussion thread on a forum I’d previously (!) overlooked. It follows a totally unsullied über fan show watcher who became so disillusioned with the show after the misery-fest that was Season 5 that she vowed to quit watching. As she is so entertaining to read, fellow commenters persuaded her to read the books. She’s almost at the end of Book 5.
http://forums.previously.tv/topic/27813-climbing-the-spitball-wall-an-unsullieds-take-on-a-song-of-ice-and-fire-now-reading-a-dance-with-dragons/?fromsearch=1
@Kat I’ve lived in Arkansas nearly my entire life and it never occurred to me to look that up. Neat!
I did, however, know that law about pronunciation is still on the books. It’s a fightin’ offense.
@ ashara
This is going to sound terribly cynical, but after Frank Herbert left the ‘Dune’ series on a cliff-hanger I always wait unto an author has wrapped up a story before I start reading it! (Is that *too*’awful?)
I could watch the TV show though I suppose. If it’s changed that much from the books that probably means the writers have a good take on it.
I’m very with you about seeing an adaptation before reading a book. There are some adaptations that are better (‘Soylent Green’, ‘Planet of the Apes’) but that is usual. Must confess I’m not much of a TV fan but Aerynn says it’s just the Sopranos with swords, and I did enjoy that series.
@Alan
Was the lizard a chicken on its father’s side?
As for the series discussion, all I’ll say is that the biggest mistake the Harry Potter films made was not waiting for all seven books to be published before they started filming.
Back to topic…check out Roosh’s douchey tweets here:
http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/feminists-to-confront-antiwoman-group-return-of-kings-20160201-gmj30m.html
Yeah, Doosh, I’m sure they’ll allow you into the country with banned weapons in your baggage. Especially since you’re already up for visa denial on character grounds.
Pretty sure that no women between the ages of 18 and 22 will want to meet you for drinks, either. Unless it’s to pour one over your latest ugly wig.
PS: Petition to sign, also.
Roosh is demanding blowjobs from female journalists for interviews in Australia. https://twitter.com/mlle_elle/status/694388454168211457/photo/1
One of these meet ups is on my campus (Chicago Rogers park). A colleague (I’m a grad student) who saw this emailed me tonight about it, I knew about the meet up but not that there was one on campus. I emailed a few student orgs that I thought my want to know, but I’m concerned about the safety of my female students and honesty not sure what to do. I don’t want to be filmed and harassed and I don’t want that for my students, but I also don’t want this to go unchallenged. Any suggestions?
(Longtime lurker, hello).
@Alan
You are completely correct that heritage doesn’t define an individual.It can cause some individuals to worship heritage without morality or thought. I think the benefit of knowledge in ones past is to provide a sense of belonging and perhaps inspiration.
Presumably you are able to track your ancestors back to the 15th century? My family tree only stretches back to my great-grand parents.
@Bina
Maybe he’s referring to a whistle or a personal alarm. I can see the irony in that.
Apologies if this has already been addressed, but they’re probably going to change their SUPER SEKRET codes now that they know you’re on to them. The Pet Shop code was probably meant to mislead us all in the first place. I hope someone is actually infiltrating their ranks in the way they fear, and that someone knows the REAL codes and is passing it around among the troo mammotheers (those who have exchanged email addresses) so that you can get that beautiful mockery and/or understanding of the beliefs these people base their worldviews on.
Alan, I totally sympathise. There are fans who are fearful of the books never being completed or not ending satisfactorily. With good reason, as Martin himself has stated that he struggles with finishing stories. It’s not his strong point. But he does know ‘in broad strokes’ how it will end, and if he never finishes we at least have the show’s version.
I’ve not read ‘Dune’, but people who have say it’s similar.
I didn’t get into Harry Potter until summer 2011. I love it now, and I’m so glad I didn’t endure years of waiting like my son and all the other fans did. The delay is what produces endless speculation and debate, though, which is fun.
Sorry to continue derailing, but I’m starting to think ignoring Roosh the Dooch and his ‘c’overt scheming are best given less attention beyond having a few laughs about it. He thrives on the publicity and it feeds his ego as well as his wallet. That’s my excuse anyway. Why is he even flashing his money if he won’t spend it on women? Isn’t that why men stereotypically are driven to succeed? High social status=alpha=easy/more/hotter pussy?
@ dreadnought
Apparently it’s very easy to trace the Robertshaw bit back. Prior to the mid nineteenth century we’re all pretty much buried in a small village called Heptonstall. Of course families come from lots of sources. I’ve not done it myself but years ago some genealogist contacted us. According to him Robertshaw was the rarest indigenous surname in England so he was doing some sort of project. I don’t want to look too closely as I harbour a secret desire that I’m part Cherokee or at least something vaguely interesting, and I don’t want to spoil that with facts.
One of my dearest friends has both African and Inuit heritage (she’s my main ally in the “Stop calling them Orcas!” thing). That’s far more interesting. There must have been a hell of a wedding once!
@ ashara
The derailing is one of the best things about this place; it’s a regular Salon! I learn all sorts.
Also, I was just trying to formulate something exactly on your point about Roosh actually not deserving the attention, but it was hard to do so without seeming to dismiss people’s understandable and justifiable concerns about the real danger his views present. But you’ve put it beautifully.
ETA: he’s not a worthy opponent for these women if that makes sense. Like getting Ripley from Alien to deal with a particularly annoying mosquito.
The hilarious thing about the one in Perth is that it takes place on the beach in Cottesloe. Like, you cross the road and you’re on the beach. Shops directly around that area are all hotels, cafes, swim shops and the like. There are no pet stores or shopping districts for miles. It is the WORST place to go in my city to find a pet store. Going to Cottesloe and asking about pet stores is like going to London and asking about sunbathing beaches. It’s just SO wrongheaded and hilarious I can’t even begin to describe it accurately. There are going to be a few weedy fedora wearers asking about pet shops in a district FULL of flashy beer drinkers and sporty beach-going types who have no trouble AT ALL meeting women or feeling secure in their masculinity. All these cruisy surfer types are going to be so confused about this nonsense. And families going to the beach for the day. And people exercising. It’s going to be hilarious.
Aw, thanks Alan. I was having the same reservations, it’s just my own personal excuse. And that first sentence doesn’t even parse! I must have had two different turns of phrase in my head at the same time and decided to mix it up so as to be as nonsensical as some of the MRAs. Or something.
Ok, totally incorrect use of ‘parse’ there. Sorry. Been awake for nearly 24 hours. Must. Sleep.
The sentence does not stand up to parsing. It is unparseable. Heck, it’s bad. Wrong. Gibberish.
God this is so disgusting. Roosh wrote the book on how to be a vile scumbag and he keeps topping himself.