UPDATE: Roosh has announced that he is cancelling all the meetups. For more see my post here.
Numerous We Hunted the Mammoth operatives have informed me that Roosh Valizadeh, the pickup artist and rape legalization proponent who is apparently trying to start a second career as a “neomasculine” cult leader of sorts, is planning dozens of meetups around the world, from Birmingham, Alabama to Taiwan, all scheduled for next Saturday.
While the meetups aren’t literally secret, Roosh is organizing them like a CIA operative planning covert ops. Or at least like a ten-year-old boy playing secret agent.
On his blog, he tells his fans that in each city where a meetup is planned,
Hosts have been instructed to wait at the meeting point from 8:00-8:20pm before moving on to the final location. If you arrive at the meeting point at 8:21pm, you will miss the meetup. Arriving on time within the window is absolutely paramount.
Ok, Secret Roosh Spy Army: Write “be on time” on a post-it note. Memorize it. Then eat the post-it note.
If you find you cannot memorize these instructions the first time, prepare and eat as many post-it notes are necessary until you can recite the instructions out loud without referring to your notes. NOTE: Do not actually recite the instructions out loud, as feminist spies may be lurking nearby.
To identify your fellow tribesmen, ask the following question to a man you suspect is there for the meetup: “Do you know where I can find a pet shop?” If you are asked this question, answer in the affirmative: “Yes, it’s right here.”
Ah, the old “where’s the pet shop” ploy, one of the all time spy classics!
You can then introduce yourself and get details about where to proceed at 8:20. If you ask someone for the pet shop and they appear confused or actually try to direct you to a real pet shop, they’re not there for the meetup.
If the person you have spoken to looks like they might be a secret feminist, and giggles at you, YOUR MISSION HAS BEEN COMPROMISED! Shout “abort, abort! The pet shop has a sale on canaries!’
This will alert any other Roosh agents in the area that your cover has been blown. Flee the scene immediately, preferably with your hands waving in the air above your head, shrieking.
In another post, Roosh answers some questions that have come up about his super seekrit meetups.
First off: There will be no girls allowed!
Q: Can I bring a female friend, girlfriend, lover, or wife?
A: Absolutely not. This meeting is for heterosexual men only.Q: Can I come if I’m a homosexual or transsexual?
A: No. This is a meeting for heterosexual men only.Q: What should we do if a pretty girl shows up and begs to be a fly on the wall?
A: Get her number and then tell her to buzz off. Do not allow women to attend the meeting.
Do you see what he did there in the last answer? The bit about buzzing off? BECAUSE FLIES BUZZ.
Q: What if crazy feminists show up?
A: Record them with your camera, upload the footage to Dropbox, and then send it to me at [email protected] afterwards so we can tear them up. If accosted during the meetup, travel to the final venue in pairs or triplets using an indirect route so the final location is not compromised (make sure you are not followed).
I’m sorry, I have to post this:
Secret Roosh Agents need to be constantly alert!
Q: Have the hosts been vetted? What if they are a secret feminist agent?
A: Again, this has never happened before, so the risk is minuscule. If you remain anxious or fearful of green-haired female activists or male feminists, simply don’t give out your last name or company name during the meetup.
Alternately, and I’m not sure why Roosh didn’t suggest this, give a fake name. Some suggestions, mostly borrowed from here:
- Bo Nerr
- Cole Onnick
- Dick C. Normus
- Dougie Style
- Homer Sexual (Note: May get you kicked out of the meetup. See above.)
- Lou Stools
- Max E. Pad
- Frank Lee Underwhelmedbythesefakenames
And then there’s the question that every new organization faces:
Q: Is this a white nationalist meetup?
A: No. This is a meetup for men of all races and backgrounds who read ROK and my blog. The Tribal Meeting is not a white nationalist organization.
And one more little clarification:
Q: Do permanent tribes have a consistent message that ensures purity of neomasculine thought during the meetings?
A: There is no universal program. Each tribe is encouraged to interpret neomasculinity to suit their local and immediate needs.
ALL HAIL ROOSH PROPHET OF NEOMASCULINITY
Oops, almost forgot this one!
Q: Are you concerned that agents within the various Alphabet Soup groups (CIA, FBI, NSA, CID, NCIS, ETC) may try to infiltrate the tribal meetup?
A: The tribe is apolitical and does not attempt to challenge governmental authority, so I don’t believe we’ll be targeted for infiltration. That said, keep an eye on possible agent provocateurs who advocate for illegal activities out of the blue.
For example, this man, who has been known to advocate making rape legal on private property.
Oh, and bring your cameras!
Up to now, the enemy has been able to exert their power by isolating us and attacking with shrieking mobs, but we’ll be able to neutralize that tactic by amassing in high numbers come February 6. I will exact furious retribution upon anyone who challenges you in public on that date (remember to record them).
As it turns out, there’s a meetup in Chicago that I could make it to without too much trouble. I plan to attend disguised as a pet store.
How exactly would I pull this off? Well, this woman accidentally cosplayed a hotel, so I think I could manage.
Stay safe everyone! And stock up on fake mustaches.
I’m wishing I could be male for a day now after seeing the MST3K comments. I’d dearly love to dress in a trench coat and fedora, go to a meetup, introduce myself as Big McLargehuge and wander around saying to random guys, “It’s a cold day for pontooning.”
So the Boston meetup is at a location along the Freedom Trail on a Saturday in what is turning out to be an unseasonably-warm winter?
I’d go along and watch the confusion if it weren’t for my bone-idle tendencies.
Ooooooo, that would be fun. I hope someone does that!
Best idea evar! This would be a fantastic video even if the Pet Shop Boys don’t notice it!!
Also, this
made me think that the ETC must be the most seekrit and badass group of all since I’ve never heard of them!
Also also, Alphabet Soup Group sounds like a kid’s TV show.
I’m legitimately surprised CSI isn’t on that list.
I’m actually a little surprised there’s one in Arkansas. At the same time…not all that surprised at all. Southern culture lends itself to this kind of bullshit, unfortunately.
Though they do realize that gathering near a completely empty Riverfest stage is going to look like a drug deal, right?
Tempted to go stand around nearby with a “DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING” placard, but A) I doubt there’ll be more than five people there and B) they’ll probably be packing. I’d really rather not risk getting shot at for laughing at them.
What, no meetup in Michigan’s UP? Er, I mean…does the fat man walk alone?
@ tyro
Careful Now.
AsAboveSoBelow
Maybe Da Yoopers are too smart for that nonsense? Or else the UP confuses Rooshie and he thinks it’s part of Canada.
BTW, for those in Scotland, here’s an anti-Roosh petition to sign and share, which popped up on my Facebook feed:
https://you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/no-to-rooshv-in-scotland
I tried to sign, but it doesn’t accept non-UK postal codes. 🙁
In effect, that’s what it is…only the drug being dealt won’t be OxyContin (or whatever else the locals are now snorting), it’s “neomasculinity”, the dopiest dope EVER.
Can’t say I blame you. But at the same time, I’m snickering, because PENIS COMPENSATORS, much alpha, so wow.
In short, “neomasculinity” = same old male insecurity about their manly bits. Hell, they’re even afraid of gay and trans men tagging along. As though any such guys would want a piece of Roosh or his ilk.
And now, time for some Pet Shop Boys I’d actually pay to see:
I’m amused that NCIS is on there. What does the Navy have to do with anything? I guess they just know there’s a TV show called that and went with it? The closest thing I could think of to ETC was EOTC. Employment Opportunity & Training Center. What either agency would be doing tracking PUAs, I’ve no clue.
I just figured out that “ETC” is supposed to be etc.
ej:
That’s pretty much the manosphere in a nutshell.
Semi o/t but why is Arkansas pronounced one way and Kansas differently? (Not the ‘Ar’ bit, the end syllable)
Loving that the ad I got with this was a pic of a sad puppy asking ‘why do I eat my own poop and (other disgusting behavior I’ve since forgotten since the ad changed after refreshing the page)?’. It actually looked like part of the post at first.
I hope some of the meeting points are actually at pet shops. These guys might even be dumb enough to actually arrange that. Are they even open at 8:30pm? Wouldn’t most people laugh at such an odd question?
Did anyone suggest the pseudonym Mike Hunt ?
In Kenosha, Wisconsin, the Pet Shop Boys’ meeting is at the Brat Stop. Either they wanted an easy-to-find venue, or chose the most phallic name they could find. Talk about a sausage fest.
PFFFT STOP IT I AM TRYING TO EAT DINNER
Katz:
yes, I was just being mean about the way they write.
Alan: When I was stationed in Omaha, Nebraska while serving in the USAF, I noticed that pronunciations in the midwest can get pretty wonky. I don’t know the reasons for this, but there are loads of places with European names that you’d never recognize only hearing them spoken. I lived down the road from a burg called Papillion which was pronounced pap-PILL-yun. There is a New Madrid in Missouri which is pronounced New MA-drid, and more than a few places called Lima which they pronounce LYE-ma. There’s also Des Moines, Iowa which is pronounced Demoine (kinda close to the French), but also Des Plaines which is pronounced Dez Plainz.
I did not figure that out about ETC. Why was it in all caps?
So far Cruz is leading Trump by a few percentage points. Who the fuck am I supposed to be rooting for here?
@Alan Robertshaw, @Hambeast
Then there’s North Versailles (Ver-sales) Township in Pennsylvania.
@Hambeast
I hope that Husbeast’s interview goes well. A potential discount? Sweet.
@Alan Robertshaw
http://www.businessinsider.com/why-we-pronounce-kansas-and-arkansas-differently-2014-2
I couldn’t read the whole thing myself, as my computer is Acting Funny.
Cheers for that Kat; that was really interesting.
It’s funny how names from the same root can diverge. Over here ‘Leicester’ and ‘Carlisle’ started off the same.
We also have some non intuitive pronunciations. Magdalen and Caius (as in the colleges) are respectively ‘Mawdlin’ and ‘Keys’.
Surnames can be equally as confusing. Featherstonehough is Fanshaw and Cholmondley is Chumley.
ETA: Robertshaw started off as Roubichaux. You can see the name evolve in our local cemetery.
Thanks, Kat. Me too! I must also admit not having husbeast constantly underfoot is sounding pretty good, too. (It’s been a fair few months)
@ Alan
Sorry to butt in, but I just have to say that as someone who doesn’t know anything about their past, that is extremely fascinating!
Has your family been living in the same general area for generations?
I would love a meetup for ASOIAF/GoT fans as none of my friends watch/read it. But I guess we have the comiccons. There is actually gonna be one this summer in my provincial town!!! With Syrio Forel and Darth Vader. Maybe I’ll go.
Name pronunciations are interesting! St. John is another example. Many others I can think of. Too many to list. Belvoir as beaver.