Categories
alpha males antifeminism entitled babies evil sexy ladies evil SJWs homophobia imaginary oppression masculinity men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny no girls allowed post contains jokes post contains sarcasm PUA rape culture reactionary bullshit red pill rhymes with roosh transphobia

Where is the pet shop? Roosh V Plans Secret Meetups, Announces Locations on Internet

If you attend one of Roosh's meetups, come prepared!
If you attend one of Roosh’s meetups, come prepared!

UPDATE: Roosh has announced that he is cancelling all the meetups. For more see my post here.

Numerous We Hunted the Mammoth operatives have informed me that Roosh Valizadeh, the pickup artist and rape legalization proponent who is apparently trying to start a second career as a “neomasculine” cult leader of sorts, is planning dozens of meetups around the world, from Birmingham, Alabama to Taiwan, all scheduled for next Saturday.

While the meetups aren’t literally secret, Roosh is organizing them like a CIA operative planning covert ops. Or at least like a ten-year-old boy playing secret agent.

On his blog, he tells his fans that in each city where a meetup is planned,

Hosts have been instructed to wait at the meeting point from 8:00-8:20pm before moving on to the final location. If you arrive at the meeting point at 8:21pm, you will miss the meetup. Arriving on time within the window is absolutely paramount.

Ok, Secret Roosh Spy Army: Write “be on time” on a post-it note. Memorize it. Then eat the post-it note.

If you find you cannot memorize these instructions the first time, prepare and eat as many post-it notes are necessary until you can recite the instructions out loud without referring to your notes. NOTE: Do not actually recite the instructions out loud, as feminist spies may be lurking nearby.

To identify your fellow tribesmen, ask the following question to a man you suspect is there for the meetup: “Do you know where I can find a pet shop?” If you are asked this question, answer in the affirmative: “Yes, it’s right here.”

Ah, the old “where’s the pet shop” ploy, one of the all time spy classics!

You can then introduce yourself and get details about where to proceed at 8:20. If you ask someone for the pet shop and they appear confused or actually try to direct you to a real pet shop, they’re not there for the meetup.

If the person you have spoken to looks like they might be a secret feminist, and giggles at you, YOUR MISSION HAS BEEN COMPROMISED! Shout “abort, abort! The pet shop has a sale on canaries!’

This will alert any other Roosh agents in the area that your cover has been blown. Flee the scene immediately, preferably with your hands waving in the air above your head, shrieking.

In another post, Roosh answers some questions that have come up about his super seekrit meetups.

First off: There will be no girls allowed! 

Q: Can I bring a female friend, girlfriend, lover, or wife?
A: Absolutely not. This meeting is for heterosexual men only.

Q: Can I come if I’m a homosexual or transsexual?
A: No. This is a meeting for heterosexual men only.

Q: What should we do if a pretty girl shows up and begs to be a fly on the wall?
A: Get her number and then tell her to buzz off. Do not allow women to attend the meeting.

Do you see what he did there in the last answer? The bit about buzzing off? BECAUSE FLIES BUZZ.

Q: What if crazy feminists show up?
A: Record them with your camera, upload the footage to Dropbox, and then send it to me at [email protected] afterwards so we can tear them up. If accosted during the meetup, travel to the final venue in pairs or triplets using an indirect route so the final location is not compromised (make sure you are not followed).

I’m sorry, I have to post this:

Secret Roosh Agents need to be constantly alert!

Q: Have the hosts been vetted? What if they are a secret feminist agent?
A: Again, this has never happened before, so the risk is minuscule. If you remain anxious or fearful of green-haired female activists or male feminists, simply don’t give out your last name or company name during the meetup.

Alternately, and I’m not sure why Roosh didn’t suggest this, give a fake name. Some suggestions, mostly borrowed from here:

  • Bo Nerr
  • Cole Onnick
  • Dick C. Normus
  • Dougie Style
  • Homer Sexual (Note: May get you kicked out of the meetup. See above.)
  • Lou Stools
  • Max E. Pad
  • Frank Lee Underwhelmedbythesefakenames

And then there’s the question that every new organization faces:

Q: Is this a white nationalist meetup?
A: No. This is a meetup for men of all races and backgrounds who read ROK and my blog. The Tribal Meeting is not a white nationalist organization.

And one more little clarification:

Q: Do permanent tribes have a consistent message that ensures purity of neomasculine thought during the meetings?
A: There is no universal program. Each tribe is encouraged to interpret neomasculinity to suit their local and immediate needs.

ALL HAIL ROOSH PROPHET OF NEOMASCULINITY

Oops, almost forgot this one!

Q: Are you concerned that agents within the various Alphabet Soup groups (CIA, FBI, NSA, CID, NCIS, ETC) may try to infiltrate the tribal meetup?
A: The tribe is apolitical and does not attempt to challenge governmental authority, so I don’t believe we’ll be targeted for infiltration. That said, keep an eye on possible agent provocateurs who advocate for illegal activities out of the blue.

For example, this man, who has been known to advocate making rape legal on private property.

Hey Ladies!
Hey Ladies!

Oh, and bring your cameras!

Up to now, the enemy has been able to exert their power by isolating us and attacking with shrieking mobs, but we’ll be able to neutralize that tactic by amassing in high numbers come February 6. I will exact furious retribution upon anyone who challenges you in public on that date (remember to record them).

As it turns out, there’s a meetup in Chicago that I could make it to without too much trouble. I plan to attend disguised as a pet store.

How exactly would I pull this off? Well, this woman accidentally cosplayed a hotel, so I think I could manage.

Oh, that's embarrassing!
Oh, that’s embarrassing!

Stay safe everyone! And stock up on fake mustaches.

256 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Lea
Lea
8 years ago

Coleyote,
He thinks he is bluffing. He thinks we will believe he is a big deal instead of on the frindge of the frindge.

Tessa
Tessa
8 years ago

ej:

I find it interesting that he needed to specify that this is, in fact, not a White Nationalist meeting. He’s concerned that his followers may actually think that.

If you are worried that your followers are going to confuse your men’s meetup with a White Nationalist meetup, maybe you’re posting the wrong kind of content on your site.

Naah, he’s planning a white nationalist meet up next month, and just doesn’t want the two confused.

weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

It looks like Roosh and Donald Trump are kindred spirits. Trump just incited violence against protesters.
http://gawker.com/trump-encouragers-ralliers-to-knock-the-crap-out-of-p-1756448417

Clinton or Sanders, whoever wins the Democratic nomination would be a fool not to use this in an attack ad if Trump wins the Republican nomination. Only the fascist right wing base of the GOP is going to want to vote for a candidate who has clearly demonstrated he will have little to no regard for 1st amendment rights.

At this point, I’m wondering if the Republican establishment is just going to roll over and let Trump win and then undermine his candidacy as much as they can without being blatant about it. If he loses the general – and he will – he’s not going to have a chance at getting the nomination again. This is now the only to get rid of him. I’m betting the RNC has given up the white house for the next 4-8 years and will solely focus on midterms and local/state elections.

It’s one mighty interesting political season that’s kicking off tonight.

Sorry for the USian politics derail. The open threads aren’t terribly active so I’m just posting my thoughts here. Hope no one minds!

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
8 years ago

Alternately, and I’m not sure why Roosh didn’t suggest this, give a fake name.

Disappointment: One of the American ones is literally around the corner from where I used to live. And now I’m on the opposite side of the planet, hours away from the nearest Aussie one. Bugger, where’s that feminist time machine when I need it!

Lightcastle
Lightcastle
8 years ago

I could make the Montreal one. I don’t have RPG that night. I do have a birthday party and an album launch, though.

Tessa
Tessa
8 years ago

Oh wow, I walked right by the meetup place in my city today.

Hu's On First
Hu's On First
8 years ago

So I guess Roosh’s neomasculine buddies will be known as the Pet Shop Boys from now on.

I’m imagining Roosh’s fanboys, after wandering around asking for pet shops long enough, will realize that 8:20 has come and gone. And then they will start muttering dejectedly, “what have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?”

Snork Maiden
8 years ago

What’s frustrating me is how news outlets are blowing this out of all proportion, that’s why I’m glad to see David giving this the ridicule it deserves.

I’ve seen various mainstream articles making out that Roosh is about to stage an invasion. All of which will delight that mangy attention seeker.

Terrabeau
Terrabeau
8 years ago

@WWTH

To be truthful, I’ve long since given up trying to predict what event would finally do in Trump’s chances. I mean, he already has the neo-Nazi and KKK endorsements, he’s supported his hate-criming supporters, made ridiculously racist comments about almost every racial or ethnic group imaginable, and said out loud that he wanted to shtup his own daughter.

Any one of those things would kill the chances of any other political candidate. By now, I’m just hoping he gets bored of running for office and tries to become a sculptor instead so he can make giant Greek god statues with his face on them.

sunnysombrera
sunnysombrera
8 years ago

I’ve seen various mainstream articles making out that Roosh is about to stage an invasion. All of which will delight that mangy attention seeker.

Which will also make it all the more hilarious when his soul is crushed at the discovery that 0-5 people showed up at each event.

weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

Katie has given me the power to see into the future.

I was able to obtain footage of a Roosh meetup in Arizona.

comment image

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
8 years ago

@Moocow,

Ah, sorry, I must have missed that page. Some threads do get a little long.

You have no idea how much it cost me not to make the obvious joke(s) with that last sentence.

Terrabeau
Terrabeau
8 years ago

Back on topic, I’d like to serve up a very special ‘fuck you’ to Roosh for defiling an image of one of my favorite video game series by using it on his stupid-ass website. Rome 2 deserved a lot of the hate it got, but this is going too far. Also, you’d think he’d boycott any game as “PC” as this one.

Tyra Lith
Tyra Lith
8 years ago

Heh, I am really tempted to go to the nearest meet-up place wearing a long black coat, a hat and huge sunglasses. I would stand in a semidark corner, sipping beer and smoking a cigar, and really obviously watch them. And if they actually pointed a camera at me I would inform them that it’s actually against the law here to film/make pictures of people without their approval. Of course they would be too alpha to care, so I could sue their fucking ass and as there are a LOT of security cameras where they plan to meet I would have no fucking problem winning this case.
But I’ll probably be too lazy to actually make the effort to even show up there. It’s not worth it, I don’t expect any rooshits to be there.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
8 years ago

I had a feeling that if Maine was on the meetup list, Roosh would pick Bangor based on the name alone. Was not disappointed.

Owen McLovely
Owen McLovely
8 years ago

So now RT has picked it up. This should be good.

https://www.rt.com/news/330924-rape-legalize-australia-neomasculinity/

I’ll be waiting for the latest from the “Battle of Sydney”.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
8 years ago

As for baiting feminists, I wonder what these bozos think a group of feminists might look like. It’s entirely possible that they’ll have blue-green-pink hair and strange tattoos and piercings. It’s equally possible that they could look like the Knitting Nannas.

http://www.knitting-nannas.com/images/banner/banner8.jpg

I realise that the Knitting Nannas are pretty busy with their anti-fracking activities. It’d be nice if they made a bit of cash hiring themselves out for random protests of other kinds.
http://www.knitting-nannas.com/

Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ mildlymagnificent

That pic needs one more nana, and then Batman.

Owen McLovely
Owen McLovely
8 years ago

I don’t think Roosh will be going back to Ukraine anytime soon. Here he is featured on Ukrainian news along with that “Nazi” from his talk show.

(Warning: Graphic video)

The guy’s name is Maxim Golovin and he’s a minor celebrity in Ukraine. Ever since the Orange Revolution in 2004, Ukraine dropped its visa requirement for foreign visitors and it’s been flooded with sex tourists ever since. Now there’s a major backlash. I wonder how many copycat activists this will spawn.

I’m not endorsing this but I can understand the guy’s anger. Also, I take this personally as I travel to Russia and Ukraine quite a bit (not for sex) and I don’t like being associated with sex tourists.

Bina
Bina
8 years ago

Q: Do permanent tribes have a consistent message that ensures purity of neomasculine thought during the meetings?
A: There is no universal program. Each tribe is encouraged to interpret neomasculinity to suit their local and immediate needs.

And again with the bogus language and general gibberish. Basically, Roosh is saying that “neomasculinity” is a non-thing.

To identify your fellow tribesmen, ask the following question to a man you suspect is there for the meetup: “Do you know where I can find a pet shop?” If you are asked this question, answer in the affirmative: “Yes, it’s right here.”

“Does the eagle fly over the mountain?”
“No, the eagle soars over the steppe.”

Christ, these guys need to work on their code phraseology.

(Also, what if some unsuspecting person really does want to find a pet shop, and happens to ask one of them?)

Q: Are you concerned that agents within the various Alphabet Soup groups (CIA, FBI, NSA, CID, NCIS, ETC) may try to infiltrate the tribal meetup?
A: The tribe is apolitical and does not attempt to challenge governmental authority, so I don’t believe we’ll be targeted for infiltration. That said, keep an eye on possible agent provocateurs who advocate for illegal activities out of the blue.

As though they’d be important enough to merit governmental interference, anyway.

On the other hand, the local PD might take an interest…especially if all the loitering, pet-shop-seeking neomasculists look and smell as suspect as Roosh.

Q: Is this a white nationalist meetup?
A: No. This is a meetup for men of all races and backgrounds who read ROK and my blog. The Tribal Meeting is not a white nationalist organization.

Guess Roosh is still cranky about all that “Fuck off, you’re not white!” he got from the white supremacists he was hoping to reel in. Chuckle.

Up to now, the enemy has been able to exert their power by isolating us and attacking with shrieking mobs, but we’ll be able to neutralize that tactic by amassing in high numbers come February 6. I will exact furious retribution upon anyone who challenges you in public on that date (remember to record them).

Like you did in Montréal, where that beer shower got you to tuck tail and hold your little (VERY little!) shindig in the upstairs room of a local greasy spoon? Yeah, Roosh, we’re trembling in our boots at the mere prospect of your “furious retribution”, which will consist of nothing more than a few fuck-fingers from safely behind a closed door, and laughable bombast from safely behind your flying-monkey keyboard.

Meanwhile, the video of that beer bath is still on the Internets for all posterity…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1V5Pi0e954

And will be cherished forevermore.

katz
8 years ago

Basically, Roosh is saying that “neomasculinity” is a non-thing.

Or he’s saying, “Actually, the whole point is to pick fights with feminists and take videos of them so we can harass them on the internet, so if you don’t do that, you’re on your own and you’ll just have to punt.”

SpleenyBadger
SpleenyBadger
8 years ago

I could actually attend the one here in Sydney without going to too much trouble, but I’m genuinely torn. I could:

a) go along and have a chuckle at their pathetic expense;
b) stay home or go anywhere else at all and live my fabulous life without giving them a moment of my time.

I gotta say, I’m leaning towards (b).

Now if there was a cafe nearby where I could point and mock while also enjoying good coffee and cake, that could work…

lightcastle
lightcastle
8 years ago

Bina, a friend of mine suggested setting up the beer video on infinite loop on the screens around the Meetup spot in her city.

Hambeast, Social Justice Beastie
Hambeast, Social Justice Beastie
8 years ago

dhag, still LOLing over the “Toronto Style” quip!

This is one of the funniest threads in a while; husbeast had to poke his head in to see what all the fuss was about!

Speaking of husbeast, he has an interview for a job with a seller of large-size ladies’ fashions tomorrow. I’m crossing my fingers cuz I’m hoping there’s an employee discount!